


just be still with me

by rainbowfantasy



Series: just be still with me [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, CLoud Strife's Terrible Self Esteem, Dissociation, Friends to Lovers, Genesis Rhapsodos Does What Genesis Rhapsodos Wants, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Injury, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Murder, Non-Graphic Violence, Non-graphic pseudo medical proceedures, POV Multiple, Panic Attacks, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to PTSD, Relationship Negotiation, SOLDIER Cloud Strife, Sane Sephiroth (Compilation of FFVII), Shinra is creepy, Slow Burn, Snark, Trauma, Warning: Hojo (Compilation of FFVII)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:41:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 125,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25940797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowfantasy/pseuds/rainbowfantasy
Summary: “Zack,” came the positively icy reply. “Tell me you didn't just decide to walk me over to my commanding officers ass first.”“What?” There was a smile in Zack's voice now, his shoulders moving to betray his laughter. “You said you wanted them to see your best side!”Or how fourth time SOLDIER applicant Cloud Strife met the First Class trio and all he got was Zack's broken nose.  Eventual AGSZC.
Relationships: Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth, Genesis Rhapsodos/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife, Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: just be still with me [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064600
Comments: 1104
Kudos: 1083





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new here, but the remake ate my brain and then I fell in love with Crisis Core so here I am. 
> 
> I mostly wrote this as a way to see if I could write in this fandom and had a blast trying to get the characterisations down. This is partially slice of life, partially an exploration of the characters lives, loves and how they see the world. Also, a happy ending with some angst and h/c along the way. I don't think it'll be that long, there's maybe five other parts planned but these things do take on a life of their own at times and I want to make sure Zack gets covered when he's less drunk. 
> 
> The song is 'Cat People' by David Bowie.

Bracing himself, Genesis entered the soon to be vacated Second Class apartment. 

_The things we do for love._

The thundering thump-thump-thump that somehow passed itself off as music and the smell of cheap beer, stale sweat and if Genesis was not mistaken, the acidic tang in the air that said someone had already emptied their stomach contents somewhere other than an appropriate recepticle made him wonder why he agreed to attend this nightmare in the first place. The idea of spending half the night among people, Turks and whatever other strays Zack “Just call me Zack!” Fair had picked up and added to his endlessly expanding social orbit was enough for him to consider just walking back to his own apartment on the upper floors and trying to spend the night with a good book. 

He wouldn't. 

Angeal had made it very clear that it would mean a lot to his former student, and thus to him, that his boyfriends make nice with the newest inclusion to First Class. He had implored them to remember what the ascent had meant to each of them but given Sephiroth had barely entered puberty at the time, he was sure the attempt to empathise had been lost on him. It wasn't even that Zack Fair was particularly awful – they had met now on four separate occasions over the last two months, where he had spoken earnestly about dreams and honour and other things you'd think SOLDIER would have knocked out of him by now. There was a lot of Angeal in him and that alone was worth his time. Of course, if Angeal hadn't stared at him a little too long, if the smiles weren't just a little too fond, if he hadn't made his desire to put a lot more into Zack Fair than inspiration and support then perhaps Genesis would feel less rankled about the whole thing. 

Genesis brought his fingers to his temples, both in frustration and because he could already feel a headache forming. There was no point in going over this again; they'd discussed the whole thing to death! When there is more than two people in a relationship, such communication is key and with the possibility things may change again, it had been the subject of the last three dinners. There had been many reassurances that this was not Angeal wanting to trade one relationship for another, but rather that he thought Zack Fair had his own unique and lovely characteristics that would add rather than subtract. 

Perhaps that was the true problem; he didn't just want to fuck him and get it out of his system. He wanted there to be _feelings_ involved, and given Sephiroth needed to be given flashcards to help him identify what a feeling he's having is and Genesis himself being rather prone to hysterical jealousy when warranted, that left things in the uncomfortable limbo of Angeal having kissed Zack Fair on several occasions and trying to coax all four of them to spend time together to see if something sparked. It was just so damned difficult that Angeal must have found something lacking in his relationship that he felt he could find elsewhere. A crush was normal, he'd had a few of his own over the years and had sought physical satisfaction due to their own partially open relationship. It was but ripples on the water surface; there, and gone against just as quickly.

This felt different.

And thus, they had agreed to come tonight, because he truly loved Angeal and if his former student made him happy, then they would deal with that. Up until now, it hadn't truly been much of a chore. He wasn't bad looking, aside from the fact he always looked like he'd pulled through a hedge backwards. He was too irreverant with them all, but also ducked effectively when fire was thrown in general direction so despite Angeal's wailing about the singed wall, there was no harm done. 

However, Angeal was no where to be seen in the immediate vicinity. The gall of him to insist they attend when he wasn't even – oh, there he was. Genesis ought to have known.

“So this is where you're hiding!” Genesis exclaimed, as he entered the galley. “You, I'd expect this of, but _you_ are the one who insisted we attend this little soiree.”

After all, it was not entirely unusual to find Sephiroth tucked into any given nook or cranny at social occasions that required more words than blades, but Angeal could not politely demand (and that tone _was_ a demand, not a request) that they attend the celebrations brought on by the induction of Zack Fair to SOLDIER First Class then choose to locate himself in one of Zack Fair's horribly mismatched dining chairs in the cramped galley kitchen rather than participate with the event in question. He could barely be contained the chair taste forgot, spilling over it in a way that could not possibly be comfortable but it's not as if he'd dare to complain. When Zack Fair finally moved into his First Class apartment, Genesis was going to have to sit him down and explain what dining furniture is appropriate. 

“I've had back to back classes all afternoon,” Angeal said, before taking a swig of his bottle – some cheap imported nonsense. “I need to sit down before I can deal with twenty unruly seconds and thirds that are just tipsy enough to embarrass themselves.”

“I take it you haven't tried to socialise,” Genesis drawled to Sephiroth. “Since no one appears to be crying or unconscious.”

“I take it you haven't either,” Sephiroth said. “The sprinklers haven't activated.”

Oh, wasn't that a delicious thought? His smile must have given the game away, because Angeal was pointing at him with his bottle. “No.”

“No?” Genesis said, as innocently as he could.

“ _No!_ ” Angeal pointed instead at the counter where a mess of bottles had congregated. “Get a drink, sit down and say congratulations like a normal person.”

“The wandering soul knows no rest,” Genesis sighed, looking at the drinks and finding to his surprise, a familiar bottle. He looked to Angeal, “Did you bring this?”

Angeal shook his head, “Zack called me earlier to ask what you liked. Don't look at me like that, he's very considerate. Stop treating him like a cactuar you don't want to get pricked by and you'll find that out for yourself.”

Genesis huffed, forgoing the paper cups for a real glass because goddess be damned, he was an adult. “How were your classes?” he asked, pulling himself up on one of the empty counters in lieu of venturing out of the kitchen area to find himself a seat. He tried not to grimace when his coat dragged on something sticky.

"Draining," Angeal said. "The thirds were trying to use materia beyond their limits and we had two people end up having to go to medical. I swear we weren't that bad."

"You weren't," Sephiroth said. "He was."

Genesis threw a questionable dish towel at him in response. If he had pushed a little harder as a teenager than most, it was because Sephiroth was being inescapably smug at the time. Or rather, what he thought was inescapably smug but had later come to realise he thought being endlessly critical was helping him improve instead of making him want to break his face. It shouldn't have surprised him; the closest thing he had to a parent was _Hojo_ and that disgusting creature had no people skills at all.

“Do you really not remember?" he asked Angeal.

"Not really," Angeal said, even if he smiled. "I remember trying to keep you two from scratching each others eyes out like a couple of stray cats, but the actual training is a blur."

"Your memory is going," Genesis told him. "You're turning into an old man and you're not even thirty yet.”

Angeal gestured to himself. “It's looming. Some of those creaks are not the chair.”

“I refuse to believe it!” Genesis informed him. "You're still beautiful, creaks and all."

He was rewarded with one of those dopey smiles that made his heart feel as if it had suddenly doubled in size and may erupt out of him at any moment. "Beautiful, really?"

"Oh, must we play into the ridiculousness of gender norms?" Genesis took a drink from the glass that he really ought to have rinsed out first. "Strapping, then. Handsome. If I had even a smidge less self control, you'd be against that wall with your uniform around your ankles, company be damned."

Even the tip of his nose was now a pleasant shade of pink. “You can stop now.”

“ _ANGEAL!_ ” was the only warning the trio had before Zack Fair, human puppy dog, launched himself upon his now former mentor and threw his arms around his neck with a ferocity that you'd think they'd been separated for years. “I didn't see you come in!”

“Wouldn't miss it,” Angeal patted Zack's arms, currently still snaked around his throat. He didn't seem inclined to move them at any point soon, something that caused something unpleasant unfurl in the bottom of Genesis's stomach.

He pushed it down; he couldn't truly object to the boy – man, even if he was still behaving like an excitable teen at twenty – nor to his crush. Angeal had always been someone special, even if it felt like Gillian was the only other person in Banora who'd agreed with him. Thankfully, Shinra had more sense and when it wasn't possible for Sephiroth to go look commanding and inspiring, he tended to be the one that was asked. It irked him sometimes but as the rowdy crowd in the living area reminded him, he had a low tolerance for stupidity and unremarkable people. Asking him was like lighting a match in the dry bush – a good way to start fires and miraculous if one did not. 

It didn't make him feel any less queasy, but that arrow had already left the bow of the goddess. Where it landed would take time to understand.

“Congratulations,” Sephiroth told him, as Angeal began to try and de-tangle himself from Zack Fair's arms.

“Hey, thanks!” Oh, for Minerva's _sake_ , he was still starry-eyed over Sephiroth? How had he made it to first class without having the shiny rubbed off their illustrious General? “I know this isn't really your kind of thing, so it means a lot. All of you.”

Now pulled away from Angeal, he looked at both Sephiroth and Genesis himself with a similar look. Not starry-eyed, then, but perhaps..earnest? Heart felt? It appeared Zack Fair wore his heart on his sleeve and by some minor miracle, he hadn't had the tendency stomped out of him. Curious and curiouser. 

“You are welcome.” Sephiroth answered, while Genesis merely nodded in assent.

Angeal wasn't even looking in their direction, but rather twisting to see around his chair to the where the rest of the party was in full swing. Drunken singing, dancing, shouting and telltale camera flashes that really ought not to be happening around turks. 

“I think your trooper has been cornered by a turk,” Angeal told him.

Zack Fair cocked his head to the side, looking so much like a confused dog that Genesis barely stifled his own snigger. “I don't have a trooper,” he said, but he seemed to mull it over. “Wait, my Cloud-shaped trooper!”

With that bordering on nonsensical answer, Zack tore off back into the party. If Genesis leaned back - _artistically lounging_ , not nosying – then he could see where Zack Fair had met up with his 'Cloud-shaped trooper' who was not cloud-shaped at all, but a young man with a haircut that made Zack Fair's look tame.

“Have the military gotten desperate enough to allow chocabo's to enlist?” Genesis asked.

"Don't be cruel," Angeal scolded. "I've met him a couple of times, he's quiet."

"Perhaps he found you intimidating," Sephiroth suggested.

"Angeal?" Genesis waved off the notion. "He's a gentle giant, unless requested otherwise."

"Are you requesting otherwise?" Angeal asked. 

"If I'm sitting through the headache, the smell of peoples expulsions from both ends and whatever I've sat in," Genesis couldn't keep the look of disgust off his face. "You had damn well better."

The smile he got in return was sharp all the right ways. Absolutely worth it, then, even if he was a terrible tease. Or perhaps an excellent tease, given that he took the moment to reach for Genesis's hand and pressed a bare kiss to his finger tips, leaving his tongue a moment longer than could be considered chaste.

“He's tiny,” Sephiroth interrupted.

It took a moment for Genesis's mind to come back from his mental plans for later. “Who is?”

“Zack's trooper.”

From the front room, there came a scream of Zack Fair's name from an unfamiliar voice. Another look around to see what was happening confirmed that the man in question had indeed hoisted the alleged trooper, potential flightless bird above his head with one hand. Not particularly impressive for a SOLDIER of third class, let alone a new first, but there he was cackling as the blonde cursed at him and demanded to be let down.

“Zack,” came Angeal's 'lecture' tone.

Much as the excitable puppy he was, Zack Fair did not put the trooper down but instead bounded back to the kitchen with said trooper over his shoulder. 

“ _PUT ME DOWN!_ ”

“Come on,” he was saying, voice more clearly audible as he moved from the speakers. As if the man had any choice in the matter, given Zack had put his hand around his waist and was holding it to his shoulder. “They're not that scary when you get to know them!”

Oh, surely he was not about to dump the infantryman on the floor in front of three SOLDIER elite like a cat dragging in a dead mouse. Entirely the wrong animal. 

"Zack, please put your friend down." Angeal looked ready to stand up and pluck him away. "You're making a scene."

It was bordering on enjoyable to hear someone else accused of that, even if it did make him itch to show what a scene really could be. 

The blonde stopped struggling almost like an animal playing dead. “Zack,” came the positively icy reply. “Tell me you didn't just decide to walk me over to my commanding officers ass first.”

“What?” There was a smile in Zack's voice now, his shoulders moving to betray his laughter. “You said you wanted them to see your best side!”

The not-cloud-shaped trooper resumed squirming and in a truly wonderful turn of events, at the moment Zack turned to look at Angeal, the side of the troopers boot slammed into Zack Fair's face. There was a crunch as his boot slammed against Zack's nose and the smell of blood could now be added to the myriad of bodily fluids they'd probably never fully get out the smell of in this place. 

“Shit!” the trooper cried, unceremoniously hitting in the floor in the shock of it. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-”

The trooper stopped, pulling himself up as Zack Fair was laughing hard and holding his hand to his bloody nose. “If you hit dat hard on your exam, you're gonna bass for sure this time!”

He was a SOLDIER hopeful? That was a little unexpected, but no one could deny he must have a little bit of fire in him if he was willing to kick a friend quite that hard.

The trooper seemed caught between being stricken at his actions and scowling at his friend. He was startled out of it when Sephiroth's hand, seemingly from nowhere as he loved to do, handed him a bag of frozen peas wrapped in some napkins.

“Press that to his nose,” he told the trooper, who looked as if he wanted the entire floor to open and swallow him. “You should go down to medical. Nose's can heal badly and resetting them can be unpleasant.”

Zack Fair was looking at the peas, face scrunched up. “Where did you find dose?”

Sephiroth delivered his usual deadpan delivery of, “In the freezer.”

“I don't eben like beas,” Zack Fair said. “Where'd dey come from?”

“Zack Fair!” Genesis declared, unable to stand and watch this ridiculousness take any longer than it had to. “Go down to medical now before you start looking like the little gremlin you are.”

“One of deese days,” Zack Fair said, looking as smug as anyone with a still semi-broken nose could look. “You're just gonna use by first name.”

“Perhaps,” Genesis said, smiling. “Zack the puppy.”

There was the sound of choking from the trooper. “Puppy?”

Zack Fair – or Puppy if he must be called something singular – groaned loudly. “What have you done?”

“Come on,” Angeal said, putting his hand on Zack Fair's back to guide him away. “Let's go make sure your nose heals correctly. I'm sure that Genesis and Sephiroth will look after Cloud until we get back.”

Genesis between Angeal and Sephiroth who seemed to be having some sort of communication with eyebrows alone. “Who is Cloud?”

“Um...that's me,” the trooper- Cloud – said. He looked briefly like he was going to wave and thought better of it. 

Was it possible somehow Zack Fair had managed to find the one person in the whole building more socially awkward than Sephiroth? Science department not withstanding, they barely qualified as people. In fact, the beginnings of an awkward silence that perhaps neither knew how to break was already setting in as Angeal left. Sephiroth handed him the dish towel of questionable origin from earlier, allowing the trooper – Cloud – to wipe some of the blood from himself. Genesis supposed he could break it, he could excuse Cloud and send him back to the party which he was clearly contemplating by the way his eyes were looking around for some sort of escape but he could also get caught up with the Turks again and more sniffing about from them was unacceptable.

“So Cloud,” he said, considering refilling his drink so he could sit and watch the show unfold. “If not your ass, what would you say is your best side?”

Cloud went not only pink, but bordering on tomato-like. Oh yes. He was going to need that drink, because the show was definitely just getting started.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented and subscribed to this! I was so nervous posting it and you all made my week.

This was all Zack's fault.

The fact he was stuck staring at two of the most elite fighting force the planet with his mouth dry and his heart beating so hard that he could feel the thrum of it in his ears. The fact he was at the party at all. The fact he wasn't counting down the days in his own bunk till he got to leave.

If anyone had told Cloud a year ago that he would be standing here, awkward human statue that he was, he'd have thought they were nuts. A year ago, he'd been about to turn eighteen, in his third year of a four year contract with Shinra's infantry and had just failed out of the third – and he had assumed last – attempt to join SOLDIER. He had told himself that three times was enough; he was humiliated every time, miserable and sick of feeling like he was powerless to do anything about it as his dreams slipped through his fingers again and again. He'd planned to finish out his final year then try to find something he wouldn't be a total failure at, if such a thing even existed. Just figure out a way to stay in Midgar and scrape by like everyone else below plate, because he was never going back to Nibelheim if he could help it. 

Enter Zack Fair, one of the top SOLDIER Second Class, mentored by a third of Shinra's top trinity and fast tracking his way to joining them in First Class. He shouldn't have given Cloud the time of day, but he did. He stopped, putting his hand on his shoulder, talking to him about how hard it can be to get back up and try again even when everything seems hopeless. If it was his dream, he owed it to himself to try again. 

That should have been the end of it, but it wasn't. Every time he ran into him, Zack had stopped to chat with him and after ending up on a mission together a couple of months later, the two had ended up exchanging PHS details and that seemed to be that. They were friends; so much so that Zack had offered some of his extremely limited spare time to help him prepare for the next round of tests in about two months time. They couldn't do much about his mako tolerance (or 'high probability of severe negative reaction to treatment' as was actually on his his official letter), but they could build up everything else. 

( _“It won't matter if I can't handle the mako injections,” Cloud had told him, one day when he'd been feeling particularly dejected._

_“You aren't meant to know about that,” Zack had chided, as if SOLDIERs even noticed when troopers were around enough to censor themselves about how the mako was administered. “The minimum req's are only minimum until they're not. Show them you're someone worth taking a chance on and they'll figure something out.”_

_“I don't know that I am,” Cloud had admitted._

_“I do,” Zack had said. “I'll just believe it extra hard until you can believe it for yourself.”_ )

That was just who Zack was. He had this unshakable belief in people and for Cloud, it had made him feel invincible even if just for a moment. Maybe he hero worshiped him a little, it was hard not to, but he always had his heart in the right place. So in return, Cloud tried not to hold it over him that Zack was enthusiastic, extroverted and full of energy in any given social occasion when Cloud would like to squeeze himself in somewhere and not have to deal with being a trooper at a party with people already living their dreams.

“I don't...know how to answer that,” Cloud admitted, because he wasn't sure if he had a best so much as a more tolerable side.

One of the few things about Zack that drove him crazy was how easy he found it to slot into any social situation and make friends. He had friends everywhere and no one seemed to bat an eye at it, where Cloud could just about get his bunk mates not to hate him. Zack didn't seem to get that just because he was close with Angeal Hewley, it didn't make the man less intimidating. Zack had tried introducing them, but Cloud had stood open mouthed and tried not to have a panic attack when faced with the larger than life icon of honour and duty for Shinra – if not the whole planet.

At least the commander had a reputation for having patience with troopers and SOLDIER alike; right now, Cloud was kind of wishing he'd gone with them considering it had been his boot that had done the damage. Instead, he was in front of the two thirds of the First Class trinity that it was an extremely bad idea to get on the wrong side of. Genesis Rhapsodos, known for his temperamental nature and total lack of patience for anything less than what he expected from people working under him and Sephiroth, the general, the legend and not someone lowly grunts like himself were permitted to bother. If Cloud had put him on a pedestal as a kid, then Shinra kept him on it at every opportunity. 

“Try,” Rhapsodos said, situating himself back onto the counter rather than take the recently vacated seat.

“My sparkling personality?” Almost as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Cloud regretted them. Of all the people not to mouth off at, the one who might set you on fire was high on the list. Zack had still smelled of burnt hair last time he'd heard of him doing it. 

Zack had begged and wheedled him to come to this thing, and he was going to die being thrown out of the window or set on fire or – 

“We can strike off sense of humour,” Rhapsodos replied. He opened his mouth to speak again, but was cut off by Sephiroth.

“You're the trooper Zack has been training after hours, for the next round of retakes.”

Cloud steeled himself and tried to talk like he wasn't about to go into palpitations. “Yes, sir.”

“There's no point in stepping on ceremony,” Rhapsodos made a circular wave. “Half of the attendees are likely incapable of even standing long enough to salute without swaying at this point. You seem remarkably sober – are you not old enough to drink?”

Cloud both flushed with embarrassment and tried to fight the scowl. He knew he still looked a little smaller than he'd imagined at eighteen, but with nineteen on the horizon, it didn't seem like much would change. Working with Zack had helped him build up a better stamina and he had some muscle now that he was proud of, but it didn't help when he felt half his size when someone pointed out he looked young and he felt like the stupid kid who came to Midgar four years ago all over again.

Sephiroth spoke up before he had a chance to reply. “Upon registering for the infantry, minors aged fourteen and over are given legal status as adults and all rights therein.” 

“Yes, thank you for the public service announcement.” Rhapsodos replied, waspishly. “I do remember. So what's wrong with you?”

For a moment, Cloud wasn't even sure Rhapsodos was talking to him. “Wrong with me?”

“If you've already taken the leap, and failed, something must be.”

Cloud felt his face heating up. He hadn't realised that much of his life had been discussed at all, having not really registered the word 'retake' in among everything else. Chalk up another for his endless stream of being humiliated by his own failures. 

“It was vague,” Cloud frowned. Zack had translated some of it – strength, skills the army had no intention of teaching him, stamina, things that tended to come with age and training. Then there was his 'high probability of severe reaction' which at this point could be the end of everything. They weren't going to take the chance unless he was a sure hit and sometimes, with the things he'd seen in the army, Cloud wasn't even sure what to hope for at this point. He still wanted to be a SOLDIER with all of his heart, but sometimes, it felt like the carrot being danged in front of him to slog through the parts he didn't like.

“Why use one word when you can edge around the point with thirty,” Rhapsodos huffed. "Sounds like the company to me."

“It took some translating,” Cloud said, with a nod of agreement. “Some of it is just things I have no experience with, the rest...” He didn't know how to finish the sentence. What could he say? If he wasn't strong enough, he wasn't strong enough and it just confirmed what he'd always known. 

“Not everyone is cut out for this kind of life,” Rhapsodos said. 

“I know,” Cloud said, trying to banish the nagging voice that said he was one of those people who had no chance. “My contract is up in July. I wasn't going to try again, but I said it was my dream to Zack and he seems to have taken that as a personal challenge.”

“Dreams and honour,” Rhapsodos drawled. “The makings of a good SOLDIER, if Angeal is to be believed.”

“I don't want to sound ungrateful,” Cloud clarified. “I'm just trying to be realistic.”

“A wise approach for a decision that involves dedicating your life to SOLDIER,” Sephiroth nodded. “It can be rewarding, but it's not without sacrifice.”

Rhapsodos added, “Best to go into it with your head on your shoulders, not in the, well, you.” 

Cloud stared at him. That was terrible. “You complained about my sense of humour and you just came out with that,” he said, bluntly.

“That was very forward,” Rhapsodos said.

“Sorry,” Cloud mumbled looking away.

“Are you?”

Even if SOLDIER and the army were often separate, pissing off one – maybe two, Sephiroth was harder to read considering he was less talkative but still seemed to be paying attention – First Class was probably a good way to make sure he never passed the exams, whether he would have otherwise or not. Despite that, Cloud didn't really think it would make a lot of difference to have his last two months at Shinra made miserable for opening his mouth and he didn't like backing down.

“No,” Cloud said, after a beat.“Not really.”

“Good,” Rhapsodos declared. “For a moment there, I thought you were going to turn out to be boring after showing so much promise early on.”

  
Though he hadn't heard the door open up, there was the unmistakable sound of Zack talking in a low tone. Cloud couldn't make out the words, but they seemed less hyperactive and slurred than they'd been half an hour ago, so maybe most of the alcohol had already filtered out of his system.

“...I thought maybe you'd ease up on the lectures without being a mentor.”

“Oh no,” Rhapsodos added, as Zack sheepishly returned back to the kitchen with Hewley – Angeal, he had requested as much when they had met – holding the small of his back. “They never stop. I had one this morning.”

“Wednesday,” Sephiroth added. 

Hewley - _Angeal_ , damn it - looked a little flustered. “I'm just trying to look out for you.”

“I know,” Zack said, already smiling again. Nothing ever seemed to keep him down for long. “You're the Mom Friend.”

Angeal blinked a few times, “I'm the what?”

“You know,” Zack waved his hands enthusiastically, “The friend that takes care of you. Makes you feel better, helps you talk things through, makes you food, the Mom friend.”

“Please don't call me that,” Angeal asked.

“Please don't stop calling him that,” Rhapsodos choked out, shoulders shaking from unexpressed laughter.

“Genesis,” Angeal said, managing to cram several intended meanings into just the man's name.

Rhapsodos was full on snickering by this point. “It's hard enough not to imagine you in an apron wielding some sort of cooking utensil without you using that tone!” 

“That's what you think of when you think of your mother?” Angeal asked.

“Oh, gods no. My mother would need a map to find where the kitchen was, let alone possessing proper attire for it.” Rhapsodos was pushing his palms across his eyes, watering from laughter. “Yours, on the other hand, could incite more terror than a midgar zolom with only the aid of a wooden spoon and that tone of voice.”

“It wasn't an insult,” Zack insisted, looking around the room. “I love that you try to take care of me, and I am sorry, Cloud. I guess I got a little carried away carrying you away.”

Considering he'd been largely ignored for a few minutes, Cloud had been inching to try and consider making a quick get away. However, now Zack had pointed him out, he suddenly felt the suffocating stare of attention on him.

“It's okay,” Cloud said, mostly just to shut it down.

“No, it's not,” Zack said, a clenched smile on his face. “Let me walk you back to your room?”

At that moment, it had been exactly what Cloud needed to hear: permission to get away from not only the attention of the room but the party in general. “Thanks,” he said, happy when Zack nodded in return. “Er, thank you for talking to me.”

Angeal looked at the other firsts, then to Cloud. “I hope you don't think we're running you off,” he said. 

“I don't,” Cloud said. “You've been really nice, parties just aren't really my thing.”

“You can't go around telling people I've been nice,” Rhapsodos said in a stage whisper. “It's taken me a long time to incite terror with presence alone, you'll ruin my reputation.”

Cloud didn't miss a beat this time. “He was terrifying,” he said, utterly deadpan. “I'm going back to my room to cry myself to sleep.”

“That's better,” Rhapsodos nodded, as Angeal just pressed his fingers above his nose. The smile did kind of dampen the look of exasperation, though. It was a little painful to watch, the easiness of friendships, the obvious closeness. The idea that Zack could get absorbed into that and maybe not want to be around him as much anymore stung more than he wanted it to. He ought to be happy for his friend; he was getting his dream.

True to his word, Zack was right behind him even though this was the second time tonight he'd left his own party because of Cloud. No one seemed to mind it, or if they did, it didn't look like it. 

He must have been lost in his own thoughts too long on the way down, because he felt Zack shoulder check him. “Gil for your thoughts?”

“Just wondering if they got your nose sorted,” Cloud said. “Then maybe they could fix the rest of your face.” 

Zack responded by putting his hand to his heart, “You wound me!” 

“Wouldn't be the first time tonight,” Cloud said, before his own nervousness got the better of him. “I'm sorry about that, I really am.”

“Nah, don't worry about it.” Zack leaned in close, so much so that he could smell some kind of antiseptic on his skin, could feel his hot breath on his cheeks. “Does it look okay?”

Cloud forced himself not to clear his throat, to try and stop the way his skin was suddenly a little tingly. “Yeah,” he managed to force out, before Zack noticed, before his stupid crush ruined everything. 

“Cool,” Zack said, obviously oblivious and standing back. “The night's been kind of a bust anyway, it wasn't your fault.”

“You didn't have fun?” Cloud asked, instantly feeling guilty about it.

“I did!” Zack said, but he did that smile, the one that said he was trying to figure something out but he wasn't there yet. It would almost be funny, how serious he looked. “I just have a lot on my mind. Can I tell you something? Just between us?”

Who exactly did Zack think he was going to tell? He was the closest friend he had. “Yeah,” he said.  
  
“Do you remember last month, when I said I had kind of a crush on someone and I wasn't sure what to do with it?” Zack asked.

Of course he did. They'd been running around the training grounds, Zack barely rumpled while Cloud was still struggling for breath, starfished on the ground in his own sweat. They didn't talk about love lives much; Zack dated on and off, but he always said being gone so much was always a strain on the relationship and he'd just never been able to settle himself with someone. He laughed when Cloud talked about his own terrible, cringe-worthy attempts to go on dates or just talk to someone he liked a little. It had been a sting he hadn't expected to feel so keenly; honestly, he thought most of his crush had evaporated or shifted into being indistinguishably close as friends instead. 

“That wasn't exactly right,” Zack continued, once Cloud had nodded. “I mean, I do have kind of a crush, but I probably wouldn't have done anything about it because – the point is, if Angeal hadn't said anything to me, I probably wouldn't have ever thought I had a shot but he did and now I can't stop thinking about it.”

Cloud found the sting came back anew, but he had to try and suffocate it. This was his friend. That was more than he could have ever hoped from with him. “Is that allowed?” Cloud asked. "Because he was your mentor?"

“He didn't say anything until after I got back from Wutai,” Zack said, even sounding a little unsure. “I'd already had official notification of the promotion then.”

“So if you like each other and it's allowed,” Cloud sounded out. “Then isn't that okay?”

“More complicated than that and it's not even really my story to tell,” Zack said, feet dancing from side to side. “But he's already in a relationship.”

That would be a pretty big problem. He didn't think either of them were the type to cheat – Angeal's fans were literally known as the keepers of honour, that was how honour bound the man was. Zack was just too loyal. “So...you're waiting on them breaking up?”

“Um, no.” Zack was starting to colour a little pink. “He asked how I felt about polyamory and I rambled on for several minutes until he got me to admit I didn't know what that was and I'm telling you, I've never felt more like a backwater boy 'cause I did not know people did that.”

“Did what?” Cloud asked.

“See? It's not just me!” Zack reached out across his shoulders, squeezing him close in a sideways hug. “Having more than two people in one relationship!”

That was an _option?_ “If it makes you feel better,” Cloud said. “I had no idea either. How does that work?”

Zack shrugged. “I don't know, but...I've been thinking I'd like to find out.”

“So the other person knows,” Cloud said, slowly. “They're open to it?”

“I guess so,” Zack said. “I know they've talked about it, because Angeal wanted to make sure they were at least interested before we kissed and holy shit, it wasn't so much sparks flying as a whole firework display. I know I want more of that, I just don't know...if it could work, you know? I feel like I'm flying blind.”

“Have you talked to the other person?” Cloud asked. He was the very last person anyone should come to for relationship advice, but if you were going to have a romantic relationship of some kind with another person, it seemed like a good idea to talk to them first.

“Kind of,” Zack shifted again. “Not overtly. They're not that easy to talk to.”

“It's kind of hard to date someone without talking to them about it,” Cloud said. “If it was possible to date someone without having to communicate with them, I'd have more second dates.”

Zack laughed, shaking his head. “You'll figure it out, when it's someone you like enough.”

It might be too late for that already. If Zack was going to be in a relationship, it would be even more inappropriate to think of him that way.

“Maybe,” he hedged, trying not to think of how he'd felt about Tifa and how badly that had gone. How he couldn't never get more than one date in before the other person managed to put him on the defensive or he said the wrong thing or he was too quiet. 

“One day, someone will know what a catch you are.” They were outside the corridor leading to his room now, so they came to a stop as Zack clapped him on the back. “Then they'll never let you go.”

_Easy for you to say_ , Cloud thought, but he knew if he said It, Zack would argue the point. He was a good friend, after all. That's what a friend would say.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your heads up that we're delving into the smut for this one, but will be back with regularly scheduled pining with Zack and Cloud in the next chapter.

  
Sephiroth blocked the strike on instinct; he'd stopped paying attention to the fight at least ten minutes ago simply because he didn't need to. The mix of both knowing Genesis, his style of fighting and the fact the man himself wasn't giving him his full attention meant that this was turning into less of a spar and more of a prolonged exercise in his own restraint. It left him feeling uncomfortable in his skin the longer it went on. Sparring with Genesis or Angeal – preferably both - was as close to being able to let his own guard down enough to feel a pleasant sense of achievement during a spar, even if the ending was a foregone conclusion. It was also particularly gratifying to see them try something _different_ and make him think about the next move because it showed that even now, they were still improving and that seemed to make them happy.

This was no where near that. It was meant to be a little stress relief, time to take their minds off personal issues and enjoy the simple pleasures of a good fight. Clearly, this wasn't going to happen if he was having to watch his own movements so he didn't cause real harm. The point of this was to try to unwind enough that didn't spend another meeting bickering at each other – or Genesis didn't spend it bickering at everyone and hissing at him when Sephiroth had to shut down the behaviour.

He wasn't particularly happy about the fact their relationship was stuck in a strange, increasingly uncomfortable place where they had expressed an interest, if not an agreement, to try to date another person yet any time they all attempted to spend any time together, something seemed to happen to make it unpleasant. It had taken a great deal of effort on his part to try to be open to the idea of dating someone new, someone he hadn't known for years, someone he would have to work up to feeling comfortable around in a space that was previously designated as comfortable. He wasn't happy this was awkward and difficult, and judging by his increasingly foul mood over the last week, nor was Genesis. 

“Enough.” The word felt almost like a tangible emotion. Enough wallowing in his own self pity. Enough pretending as if they were sparring instead of simply moving around for the sake of doing so. _Enough_.

Without flourish, it took only three direct movements to send Genesis's sword clattering to the ground. The man himself looked ready to spit fire at him, which was never out of the realm of possibility with him. “If I wanted to be bored, I'd have asked one of the Thirds to duel.”

It was at once both the worst and best thing to say. It got a reaction, which was required for them to move forward at all instead of this horrible stagnation, but the snarl was more real than he'd hoped for. Anger too close to the surface. This wouldn't work if Genesis stormed off and sulked for the next week. 

“I don't have your full attention,” Sephiroth added. “It's insulting.”

Genesis blinked a few times, swallowing down some of the tirade he was clearly building up to. “You have my attention!” he grinded out.

It was too late for that now, even as Genesis went to retrieve the sword. There were only a handful of things that worked when they were both wound this tightly. Sparring had failed, as had a change of scenery. A gentle push might have worked for Angeal, but Sephiroth was no where near as well versed in staying level-headed during emotional upheaval. Usually, when there was some breakdown in communication or spat, it was between Genesis and himself and Angeal was available to smooth things out or at the very least, get them both to a place they could talk to each other. Sex was a possibility, then. It was easier to talk about unpleasant things in the post-orgasm haze, but Sephiroth doubted that either of them really wanted to have that conversation where nosy Seconds and Thirds could wander in.

“We should shower,” he suggested.

For a moment, it looked like Genesis would argue. Then he pushed his fingers through his hair, face scrunching up as it clung to his forehead. It didn't usually bother him if they were alone if he pushed himself enough to sweat and need to catch his breath, but Sephiroth supposed that if it was more from going through the motions than any real effort, it meant he was feeling equally unsatisfied by whole ordeal.

“Fine.” Genesis turned to leave in the direction of the communal showers, likely quiet at this time of day but not completely. Sephiroth put his hand on his chest to stop him, shaking his head when he looked back at him.

“That wasn't what I meant,” Sephiroth told him.

Genesis looked at him for a moment, up and then down again. Appraising what he meant and whether he was more interested in that than continuing to stew. “I thought you had to get back to the office.”

He did, truthfully. He needed to dig through personnel for upcoming missions, read over several reports that came in yesterday and make a decision on who would be going back to Wutai. Another reason to attempt to sort this mess out, before one of them had to leave and everything had to be put on hold for several months. 

“So should you,” Sephiroth countered, because he was willing to bet his own pile was larger still. He tended to leave it a while and then do it in a frenzy, compared with Angeal who liked to sit up in bed typing at his own pace. Not that they'd seen much of him this week, between other commitments and the amount of time he seemed to be spending around Zack. “Are you going to?”

“No,” Genesis said. “Are you?”

“I could be talked out of it,” Sephiroth said. 

He was rewarded with the ghost of a smile, the kind that only ever happened when they were both doing something they shouldn't. It was a smile that spelled trouble, but this was the kind of trouble he could handle. 

They took the elevators up to the accommodations largely unnoticed; at this time, most of SOLDIER was occupied by local missions, study for the upcoming tests or in Wutai. There wasn't much need to speak now; they'd go back to Genesis's apartment, unwind some of this tension and hopefully by the time Angeal was done in training, they would have some sort of plan of action that didn't involve everyone in their respective corners doing nothing and being frustrated by it. He sent him a quick text, making sure Angeal knew they'd be waiting on him.

Then something peculiar happened: a trooper went to get into the elevator. These elevators led only to the highest level SOLDIER apartments, which meant that troopers were not supposed to be using them.

“I'll...get the next one.“

Instead of listening, Sephiroth held out his hand for the key card and the trooper stepped in with an audible sigh to give it to him. It wasn't a key card he was familiar with, which meant it could only be either a forgery or it belonged to Zack, who was in the process of moving onto the same floor as them. 

“Non-SOLDIER personnel are not supposed to come up here without an approved guest pass,” Sephiroth told the trooper.

“I know,” the trooper admitted. “The desk's shut.”

Genesis drew their attention by snapping his fingers. “You're Zack Fair's little trooper.”

Now that he thought of it, yes. The voice was familiar and now the trooper was scowling, it was a little more obvious. “I'm not little.”

Giving Genesis that quick a reaction in his current mood was the very last thing anyone should do. He was going to latch on. As such, Sephiroth just reached over to close the doors behind Zack's friend and made a note to tell him to get his friend a visitor pass in advance next time. He looked back to find Genesis having placed his hand flat at the height of his own head and now hovering it over the trooper.

“You wouldn't exactly call you tall, would you?” Genesis said. It wasn't the most biting comment, so perhaps the spar had helped a little.

“I'm not the one wearing heels,” the trooper replied.

Whether it was the fact it had been said it all or the way Genesis simply opened and closed his mouth, Sephiroth couldn't help the breath of laughter that crept out. For a moment, he feared there was going to be something thrown and the elevator would have to be put out of order due to Act of Genesis, but he watched him simply work his mouth for a long moment.

“How did you get this far in the army with that mouth?” Genesis asked.

“Very slowly,” the trooper replied, adding, “Sir.”

“You needn't smirk at me!” Genesis said suddenly, looking to him instead of the trooper. “I'm not taking uniform critique from someone who fights with their nipples out.”

Sephiroth couldn't help but check. “They're not.”

“Not right now,” Genesis waved his hand, dismissively. “When you're moving the sword around.”

That was possible, but if he didn't, it felt very constricting to his technique. When wielding a large blade such as his own, movement was key to control. “You've never had a problem with it before.”

“I don't have a problem with it now, they're lovely.” Genesis glanced at Zack's friend. “Don't you think?”

“I think I should have waited for the next elevator,” the trooper rushed out. 

A glance showed that the trooper had in fact gone a little red in the face, which was doubtless why Genesis was being a brat in the first place. Possibly also why when the elevator stopped, Genesis plucked the helmet from the trooper as he left. Sephiroth would have to make sure that found it's way back to him – they did make troopers pay for their uniform replacements if not lost in the line of duty and while he joked that Genesis could be listed as a reason on requisition forms from the damage he tended to do, he wasn't going to leave one of Zack's friends to clean up after their mess.

Instead of walking to his own apartment door, Genesis walked right by it to the end of the corridor where Sephiroth's own apartment was. While it was larger than the other two, they spent the least amount of time there due to minimalist design and a bed that Genesis had told him to recommend to the Turks as a torture device. By the time he caught up with him, Genesis was already stripping out of his clothes in the bathroom. Their eyes met, the unspoken question of why they weren't in the more comfortable apartment for this and Genesis shrugged, “Mine is broken.”

“When did you break your shower?” Sephiroth asked, stripping out of his coat. 

“This morning,” Genesis replied, another indication of his prolonged bad mood then. “I'll get it fixed tomorrow. I don't feel like explaining myself to people today.”

Navigating moments like this, where he couldn't be exactly sure what would provide the desired affect, felt like standing before a battlefield about to plunge into a fight that he didn't have enough information to plan for. At least in a fight, victory was always going to be the outcome one way or another. There were no guarantees of that here. There was a delicate balance with Genesis when he needed to be pushed into action, but if he took the push as being backed into a corner, he was more likely to lash out than do anything productive. Sephiroth didn't get it right as often as he liked, but he also knew he wasn't the only one who looked for a weakness to exploit when pushing and Genesis was better than most at getting under his skin. Neither of them were particularly good at backing down.

It was with this in mind that he stepped into the shower, placing his hands on Genesis's shoulders and pressing his fingers hard into the skin as he trailed down his back. “You're tense,” Sephiroth said, digging his thumbs in circles.

“Congratulations,” Genesis drawled over the noise of the shower, letting his head lean back into the stream. “You correctly identified a feeling, you can add a gold star to the chart.”

The last word was half lost to a hiss, as Sephiroth pressed his fingers into Genesis's hips and scratched along the skin. There were faint lines of red that would gone far too quickly for either of their likings, but it had served it's purpose in pulling Genesis back to attention. Sephiroth crowded up against his back, feeling the sharp breath more than hearing it and pressed his lips just below Genesis's ear, letting his teeth graze the skin. He was on the right track now, he was sure of it. There were times this wouldn't be what either them wanted, the touches too soft, times when Genesis would either decide to flip their positions because he couldn't abide having anyone else in control – especially Sephiroth, if there'd been one too many comparisons that day or a spar had gone so badly that something insecure in himself had triggered. This was a different kind of insecurity, something he hadn't really seen before and wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it.

Sliding his hand around, Sephiroth drew two fingers along Genesis's cock. It was just the right hint of a tease, but absolutely not enough to be what Genesis wanted from the way he was already arching into the touch. He repeated the motion, just a hint more pressure until he ran his thumb roughly across the slit and was rewarded by a choked off moan. Sephiroth smiled, because even when they didn't admit it, there was nearly always competitive element to anything they did, even this and getting the most response out of the other person definitely constituted as winning. It _was_ usually a game he'd win, since Genesis was naturally vocal and Angeal enjoyed this level of closeness too much to stifle a response.

Encouraged by the sound, Sephiroth understood what he wanted then – not something teasing or intimate, but something more intense than that, a little rougher. That didn't mean Sephiroth wasn't going to tease him a little more – he really had been insufferable this week and they'd barely had time for more than messy blow jobs and quick fucks before needing to be elsewhere. Slowly, he ran his fingers up and down again, using his other hand on Genesis's hip to stop him from leaning too much into it.

It only took one more time before Genesis made a sound that was part moan, part frustration. “I thought you wanted to fuck,” he said, the words coming out a little hoarse.

“We will,” Sephiroth said right into his ear, enjoying the involuntary shudder he got in response. It was worth having to do his paperwork in the early hours to have this. It had been too long since they'd had the time to do this properly, but given that Angeal had indicated he would join them later, Sephiroth wasn't in any hurry. He was too busy enjoying the way Genesis, realising he couldn't thrust forward without admitting he wanted to, was now grinding his ass back onto his own erection. 

Then, Genesis reached his arm back to thread his hand through Sephiroth's hair. He could feel the nails scratching lightly along his scalp and had to swallow down a hum of approval. Thankfully, of the two of them, he'd always had the most self control. Genesis was undeterred; he wrapped his fingers in among Sephiroth's hair and pulled hard enough that Sephiroth felt sparks go all the way down his spine. He'd definitely made some sort of noise, because Genesis did it again and he found his hips moved involuntarily to grind against him. He was being rushed along and he knew it. 

“Now?” There was a smirk in that tone, he could hear it dripping from the word.

Instead of pulling back, Sephiroth decided to double down. The time for teasing over, he grabbed hold of Genesis's cock at the base and gave three rough pumps that judging by the way Genesis grabbed at the tiled wall in front for purchase, he had not at all been expecting. He then began to fist him, the friction from his hands running hard and fast over his cock producing just enough heat to feel a pleasant burn in his fingers. It didn't take long till he could hear Genesis breathing hard through his nose, the half-strangled noises he was making and even the soft sound of his fingernails scratching at the tiles all said he wasn't going to last long like this.

This was the moment Sephiroth loved with both of them; there was no pretense, nowhere to hide and whether it was the way Angeal wound his fist into the sheets and swore or the way Genesis would stop caring what he looked or sounded like to just _react_ , those few moments before release always sent a thrill through him. He found himself wondering what Zack would look like in that moment – would he squirm or whine or try to bite it down? Would he grasp for some semblance of control or arch into the moment, letting it take him? The thought of pushing him to that moment was more arousing than he expected, and he wondered idly if Genesis had considered the same thing.

He bent over to try whispering it in his ear. “Do you think Zack will pant and squirm like this the first time Angeal holds him down and fucks him?”

“ _Shit!_ ” If Genesis hadn't been thinking about it before, he must be now because he was spilling into his hand, his whole body tensing up and pulsing against him.

Sephiroth wrung the last few spurts out of him before letting go, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck as he watched Genesis half turn to lean against the tile. He was swallowing hard between rapid breaths and pressing his hand to push his hair back. It was a stronger reaction than he'd expected and it definitely meant something that the thought had pushed him over the edge.

“Not a lack of attraction then,” Sephiroth said.

“What?” Genesis said, hoarse and low.

“Your Zack problem,” Sephiroth said, palming his own cock as it was bordering on becoming uncomfortably hard. This seemed to bring Genesis back to the present, as he moved back into his space and covered his hand with his own, matching the leisurely pace with ease.

“I don't have a problem,” Genesis insisted, pressing brief kisses into his jaw between words. “Not with that part.”

“What then?” Sephiroth leaned his head up, the feeling of the water going down his hair and back mixed with the nipping kisses making him feel pleasantly warm inside.

“He's taking too long,” Genesis said, letting his hand move up to press his fingers against Sephiroth's stomach. Intimacy over urgency.

“It's not a simple decision,” Sephiroth told him, letting his eyes close against the sensation. “Angeal would want him to consider it seriously.”

“And if they weren't practically dating already, it would bother me less.” Genesis huffed. “It's been weeks! No one needs to consider whether Angeal is the right decision for weeks - you didn't!”

That had been true, but that had been years ago when he hadn't considered this was something he would ever be able to have. “It's not just Angeal,” he said. 

“No,” Genesis allowed, stilling against him. “But he deserves more than this stringing along. I don't want him to get his heart broken but if it must, then he should do it and have done with it.”

That made more sense. While prone to jealousy, a prolonged fit was unusual but if anything could fuel one, it would be his protective streak. It wasn't something he exercised often, given that his circle of people he cared for in the immediate vicinity were fully capable of taking care of most threats to their person but every now and then, something would happen and it would show itself.

“You should tell him that,” Sephiroth said, dropping his head and opening his eyes to look at him, needing to see the reaction.

“Maybe,” Genesis hedged, pressing a kiss to his mouth this time. “Are you done trying to problem-solve? I want to blow you.”

Sephiroth wasn't about to argue that.

That was how Angeal found them after – Sephiroth lying languid on his bed, legs spread with Genesis on his knees between them, fading bites on his thighs with Genesis's hands hands planted at either side. The only sound in the room was the sound of ragged breathing and soft, wet noises as Genesis worked his cock in his mouth over and over. Sephiroth could have come and gotten hard all over again in the time this was taking, but despite the fact Genesis had to have an aching jaw by now, every time Sephiroth got close, he'd pull back, licking and biting at his thighs until Sephiroth was no longer on the edge and went right back to it. A likely revenge for teasing him earlier, but could it really be called revenge if they were both enjoying it?

“If I'd known this was what I was missing, I would have left the Seconds to clean up.” Angeal had stopped just inside the door, eyes drifting across them both before landing on Sephiroth's face. 

“No, you wouldn't,” Sephiroth said, surprised at how out of breath he sounded. 

Angeal shook his head, taking the few steps to the side of the bed. “You look wrecked,” he told him, which...yes, he supposed he probably did look a little disheveled. Genesis hadn't even given him time to dry his hair properly, so that was likely a mess against the pillow. He could feel a shimmer of sweat on his skin, could feel the rapid fire breaths in his chest and he'd been biting down on his lips to stop himself from telling Genesis to hurry up since it would invariably make him slow down instead. 

He had to fight a grunt of frustration, as he felt Genesis begin to move, maybe to sit up or talk but he didn't get the chance to find out as Angeal brought his hand down with such a sharp smack to the back of Genesis's legs that Sephiroth felt it vibrate through him.

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Angeal said, sharply. That wasn't a tone he used frequently in bed, but given that Genesis had taken it to mean redoubling his efforts, twisting and swirling his tongue between sucking him down, he really didn't have the mental energy to dissect that. 

Instead, he watched as Angeal let his hand drift up over Genesis's back, stopping to brush his hand through his hair, before following it up onto Sephiroth's skin. It was somehow too much and not enough, his skin almost tingling as Angeal moved his hand achingly slowly up his body till he cupped his chin and leaned in to press their foreheads together.

“Are you close?” Angeal asked, his thumb rubbing into his cheek and – _yes_ , he could feel himself clenching in anticipation. Sephiroth nodded, just slightly bumping their heads together and watched as Angeal smiled, before drawing him into a sloppy kiss that was made even more messy when he moaned into his mouth and came hard enough he could see dizzying sparks of white around the edge of his vision in the aftershocks.

Angeal waited it out, before pressing a kiss to his temple. It took a few ragged breaths to become aware of the cooling sheen of sweat on his skin and the fact Genesis was now half lying on him, his chin on his hands on Sephiroth's stomach and looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Angeal moved to press his mouth to Genesis's hair, a more affectionate gesture than anything else. “I wasn;t interrupting, was I?” he asked.

Genesis smiled, bright but hazy. ”Never.”

Angeal stood up, stripping off his boots and socks as he spoke. “You seem in better spirits.” 

“Mmhmm,” Genesis shifted a little, so Sephiroth could feel his hair tickling against his stomach.

“You've been missed,” Sephiroth told Angeal, letting his hand rest beside Genesis's head. 

Angeal seemed to deflate at that, stopping before resuming pulling his top off. “I know I haven't been around as much. I'm still trying to find a balance, but I know that isn't fair to you.”

“You can spend time with Zack here,” Sephiroth suggested, because if they were ever going to end up comfortable with each other, they needed to be comfortable in each others space. “You don't have to ask permission for that.”

“I know,” Angeal nodded, now all but stripped bare and half hard for good measure. “I don't want to intrude on your space, nor does he.”

“A space that will need to include him if we're to get anywhere with this,” Sephiroth told him. 

“He does know he's being asked to date, not being given a marriage proposal, yes?” Genesis asked.

Angeal laughed, and nodded, “He does.”

“Then stop hiding him away like a dirty little secret,” Genesis said, patting the bed for Angeal to join them on the bed. “Bring him here. The sooner he's house trained, the better.”


	4. Chapter 4

The first thought that came to Zack's fuzzy brain upon waking was that he should have listened to Angeal. 

It wasn't even close to the first time he'd had that thought over the years, so you'd think he'd have learned but no. Here he was the mother of all mako hangovers from his shiny new First class round of mako infusion and he'd been so sure it wouldn't feel that bad. Spending half the night heaving his guts up in the bathroom while Cloud grabbed him water and tried to distract him made it pretty obvious he'd either forgotten how shit this felt until they balanced out the mako in his system or as Angeal had suggested, it was just a bigger curve. Angeal had told him the morning before that he'd make sure to find someone to cover one of his classes so he could walk him back from the Science Department but that he would need someone to stay with him to keep an eye on him in the morning because he had meetings. Zack had mostly blown him off by saying Cloud was going to come hang out that night – which he did – but that he was probably going to try unpacking while he had a week to himself.

( _”You won't feel up to it,” Angeal had warned him. “It's difficult to find the optimum levels at first and it can leave you disoriented. Don't take too much out of yourself.”_

_“I know,” Zack had nodded. He'd remembered the transition from Third to Second and he had felt pretty sick for a couple of days, but nothing too dire. “It's just some mild mako poisoning symptoms, right? So I'll feel a little gross for a couple of days then be ready to go.”_

_“Don't underestimate this,” Angeal had said. “I've got my PHS, you can call me if you run into trouble.”_

_“Cloud'll be there if I get really sick,” Zack had shrugged because Past Zack was a cocky bastard. “You worry too much.”_ )

The problem was that he didn't feel really _sick_ , a little bit the throw up kind of sick but not the kind of sick you were meant to go back down and let them run tests. He was just bone tired and yeah, maybe his stomach was a bit unsettled. Even when he managed to push himself enough to get up, the floor seemed a lot further away than it usually was and everything was screaming at him to get back under the covers. However, his bladder was screaming way louder so he had to go take care of that. By the time he was done in the bathroom, Zack felt almost steady on his feet. Still nauseated at the idea of eating anything, but he could drink water and go find Cloud.

It turned out Cloud wasn't too hard to find; the familiar blonde spikes were sticking out the end of the couch, meaning he'd shuffled right by him without noticing. Zack reached over to ruffle his hair, laughing when Cloud seemed to wake up all at once with an indignant shout and tried to blink his way into his brain turning on.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Yikes, his throat was making him sound dryer the Midgar wastes. He took a drink out of his water bottle, the cold helping a little. 

“You're an asshole,” Cloud grumbled, pulling his knees up under his elbows so Zack could plop down beside him. “You feel any better today?”

Zack nodded, “I'm having a puke-free morning, so I'm calling it a win!”

Cloud got this look, the one that was a little shy but seriously fucking cute, where he clearly wanted to say something but he either thought it was dumb or he thought Zack would think it was dumb. He ought to know by now that Zack knew every dumb thing he knew because he'd asked dumb questions his whole life, so he'd be the last person to ever judge him.

“What does it feel like?” 

So this was more to do with SOLDIER than a potentially dumb question. It sucked so much that Cloud had no belief in himself, that he couldn't see how far he'd come even between their sparring, but it was like trying to drag up the self worth of a brick wall. Zack hoped this time, the nerves wouldn't get the better of him if only because he thought Cloud was exactly the kind of person who should be in SOLDIER – brave, smart, loyal, unafraid to call out the shit when he see's it. Not to mention he was _fast_ when he stopped worrying about what he was doing and went on instinct! If he could just believe he was capable, Zack knew he'd get in for sure and so every time they talked about something to do with SOLDIER, he tried to remind him that he was absolutely following him into the programme if he had to drag him there.

“Like a bad hangover,” Zack admitted, shrugging and instantly regretting it because he could feel the jostle go right through his head. “Everything's loud and the light's making me see spots, but I don't feel like I'm going to fall over and if I can keep down some water, I'm probably going to be fine in a day or two. It hasn't been this bad since my first round – you'll see that for yourself soon enough.”

Cloud smiled, looking down. “Sure,” he said. “Not if I get in trouble for being late, though. What time is it?”

Zack stretched back to see the generic clock on the wall, noting he needed to change that when he felt up to it. “Nearly seven.”

“Shit, I have to go.” Cloud began to move off the couch, but Zack pulled on his arm. He wasn't quite ready to let him go yet. “Zack, come on.”

“I thought you didn't have to report till twelve,” Zack whined. He wanted to sit and watch stupid television and try to eat breakfast, even if his stomach lurched at the idea. It sounded way more fun with Cloud there.

“I don't, but I need to go pick up a new helmet,” Cloud said, tugging himself free in Zack's confusion. 

“Why, what happened to yours?” Come to think of it, Zack hadn't seen it despite the fact Cloud had been in uniform when he arrived last night. 

He watched as Cloud seemed to stall on saying anything. It might have been more trouble with some of the army guys he didn't get on with. Most people in his position had given up on SOLDIER and seemed to hate it with a passion for not making the cut, so being a fourth time try out combined with Cloud's general take no shit attitude meant he ran into trouble more often than not, “Did one of those shitheads take it?”

Cloud shook his head, “Unless you're counting Commander Rhapsodos as a shithead, no.”

“I mean, yeah, he can be,” Zack said, even if that took on a more awkward tinge these days due to everything with Angeal. “Why did he take your helmet?”

“I...kind of made fun of his boots,” Cloud admitted, looking a little sheepish. “He started it by commenting on my height!”

“I'm just impressed you're still alive and not being roasted on a spit somewhere,” Zack admitted, because if there was one person you didn't go about insulting how they look, it was Genesis. “But don't be stupid, you don't need to get a new one. We'll just go and get yours.”

Cloud shook his head, “No way, I don't want to make it seem like I told on him, that's so dumb.”

“I'll say I used my wiles to get it out of you,” Zack promised, fighting down a fresh wave of dizziness as he stood up. “Come on.”

“You should be resting,” Cloud told him.

“I will when we get your helmet back,” Zack told him, grabbing him by the wrist and giving him a pull towards the door. 

From their infrequent meetings, Zack knew the Firsts tended to congregate more in Genesis's apartment even though their dinners with Zack had happened in Angeal's. Angeal had told him that was more to do with trying to find an even ground for everyone to be on and that if he was cooking, he preferred to do it in his own kitchen. So dragging Cloud along behind him, Zack took up the quest to find where Genesis had stashed the helmet by knocking on the door and planning to ask whoever came to it. 

Except no one did. 

“They didn't go in there,” Cloud said, after they'd been standing there for a few minutes.

“They?” Zack asked.

“The General was with him,” Cloud admitted, and oh no. Poor Cloud and his lingering crush. It's not as if Zack could blame him, there were people who'd give an appendage to get to talk to Sephiroth let alone do what was being offered to Zack on a silver – _heh_ – platter. Cloud wasn't exactly unattractive either, but if they were going to hang out, he wanted Cloud to at least try to get used to being around the other Firsts. That included being able to be around Sephiroth. 

“They go down here?” Even if Zack hadn't seen past the entrance of it, he knew where Sephiroth lived. Even as a Second, it wasn't utterly unusual to meet Angeal at that door. In retrospect, he had to have been pretty oblivious not to wonder about that.

Cloud nodded, so once again Zack plodded down to the end of the corridor to knock on Sephiroth's door. This seemed to make Cloud realise where they were going, because he started trying to pull his hand away. Zack stood firm on not letting go; this was one of his best friends and he wanted him to try and calm down enough to just realise it wasn't a big deal. Sephiroth may be painted as a larger than life SOLDIER, but he was still just a person! He wasn't all that intimidating once you talked to him a bit; a little quiet and kind of weird sometimes, but there was no need to physically run away from him. 

It wasn't a huge surprise to see Genesis at the door. Angeal was busy until lunch, but he had no idea what Genesis's schedule was – if he kept to one.

“He's not here,” Genesis said.

It took a minute for it to click; of course he thinks they're looking for Angeal! That would usually be why he was here. “No, I know,” Zack said. “I was looking for you. Do you have Cloud's helmet?”

Zack watched Genesis's expression change, his eyes following Zack's hand which was still holding onto Clouds wrist. Cloud looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him.

“No one likes a snitch,” Genesis said waspishly, looking at Cloud. Zack was about to tell him to cut it out, but he moved suddenly and Zack found his fingers being pried off of Cloud's wrist. 

“Hey!” Zack yelped, wondering what all that was about until he realised how red Cloud's wrist was. He hadn't been holding him that tightly, had he? “Shit, did I hurt you?”

“It's nothing,” Cloud shook his head. “You just really didn't want me to run.”

No, he hadn't, but he didn't want to hurt Cloud either. “I'm sorry,” he said, “I should have let go. You didn't have to come with me.”

“I dread to think of the answer but,” Genesis said, looking between them. “Why were you trying to run?”

“I just didn't want to bother anyone,” Cloud said, and huh, would you look at that? He was ducking his head in that way that looked a little embarrassed. Why was he embarrassed? Genesis was the one who took his helmet and wandered off with it. If anyone was going to be embarrassed – yeah, maybe that wouldn't work, Zack seriously doubted Genesis could get embarrassed by anything. No one who walks around reading poetry aloud embarrasses easy.

“The puppy can be bothersome enough for twenty,” Genesis said. “We haven't gotten rid of him yet.”

“Can you stop calling me that?” Zack grumbled, leaning against the frame of the entrance. He was starting to feel his relationship with gravity getting a little dicey again.

“I could,” Genesis paused, probably for some kind of dramatic effect because it's _Genesis_. “I'll call you something considerably worse if you throw up on me. What's the matter with you?”

“I got my first round of shots yesterday,” Zack admitted, mostly because he wasn't sure Cloud wasn't going to rat him out. He was looking a little worried, despite the fact it was his own wrist red where Zack's fingers had been. He was going to have to figure out a better way to apologise for that. “I'm good. Just waiting on the floor to stay down there where it belongs and I'll be great.”

“You had your first round yesterday and you're wandering about needlessly?” Genesis put a finger under chin, pushing it up a little to look him in the eyes. Zack fought the urge to squirm under the scrutiny. “I think they overdid it. It's been too long since we had anyone inducted, they've clearly forgotten how to do it. Can you walk?”

“Huh?” 

“Walk. You put one foot in front of the other purposefully and it causes you to move from one place to another.” Genesis looked over to Cloud, “Follow behind and shout if he looks like he's going to topple.”

Zack found himself being pulled into the apartment, the sound of Cloud shuffling along behind him until he was practically pushed onto the couch. At least, he was pretty sure it was the couch – it didn't have any arms or cushions, but it was couch shaped and he was sitting on it so that probably meant it was a couch.

“What did you do that for?” Zack asked.

“So you're close to the bathroom if you're going to throw up,” Genesis explained. “No one wants the entire corridor to spend the next month smelling like your stomach contents.”

Oh, yeah. That made sense. “Thanks.” 

Zack took a minute to look around, because yeah, now he was here, this place was a lot bigger than Angeal's. Maybe it seemed bigger because Angeal liked to collect things when he travelled and he kept photos and trinkets everywhere, compared with Sephiroth's who didn't really look all that personalised at all. There were a few books on a shelf, a fancier looking drinks maker and he had large windows looking out over part of the plate but aside from that, it looked a lot like the unfurnished rooms that Zack had just moved into.

“Where is Sephiroth?” Zack asked, as it hit him they were occupying his space but he couldn't actually see him. Did he have a meeting too?

“In the shower,” Genesis said, sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island. “I'll get the helmet when he's done, I think it's still in there.”

“Why is it in the bathroom?” Zack asked, before he caught sight of Cloud standing around awkwardly. “No, hey, come sit with me.”

Cloud moved around slowly, like maybe he was waiting to be told not to sit down and perched himself on the edge of the corner. Zack put his arm out towards him, pulling him closer by the fabric of his t-shirt until Cloud swatted at him.

“You need to watch your strength with the unenhanced this week,” Genesis told him. “They're a little fragile.”

“I'm not fragile,” Cloud grumbled, ducking out from Zack's grip. He sounded so grumpy that Zack couldn't help but laugh. “I'm not!”

“No, you're not,” Zack cooed at him. If looks could kill, Zack would be a puddle of goo on the floor by now. He kind of felt like might anyway; the nausea was making an unwelcome come back. “Uh, if he's going to be long, I should go back to my place. I think I'm going to lose the battle with my stomach pretty soon.”

“He shouldn't be too much longer,” Genesis looked towards the room that Zack assumed led to the bathroom. “Unless he's decided to do his hair, in which case we could still be here at lunchtime.”

“Why did you put the helmet in there, anyway?” Zack asked. 

“It was in my hand when I came in to borrow the shower since I'm having some work done on my own and Angeal has a _combination_ bath and shower,” Genesis gave an exaggerated shudder. “Besides which, he looks considerably better without it. That helmet really is awful. You would think someone would have redesigned them by now.”

“Shinra doesn't exactly invest much in the infantry,” Cloud said. 

“No, it's all cheap, mass produced and barely effective.” Genesis agreed. “I do remember.”

That was a weird thought. It was kind of hard to imagine Genesis or Angeal in Cloud's infantry blues. He knew that they had been, Angeal had told him they joined roughly the same age as Zack had, but Zack could barely remember his own brief stint in the army let alone them doing it. It just felt like they'd been in First Class forever.

Zack was shaken out of his thoughts at the door to the bathroom open. Sephiroth appeared in a towel, but he didn't seem particularly surprised. Maybe he'd heard them talking. 

“Good morning,” he said, looking from Zack to Cloud. 

Zack guessed it was probably not cool to bring a friend into his space without asking, but since that friend was Cloud and it was technically Genesis who ushered him in, he just waved. “Hi.”

“Another one of Zack Fair's friends obsessed with helmets,” Genesis shrugged. 

He heard Cloud try to hide a snort, “Kunsel?”

“Oh yeah,” Zack said, with a nod. “We've got all sorts of bets on it. I think he does it just so no one notices he's there and that's why he knows everything about everyone.”

“Or he's a Turk plant,” Genesis suggested. 

“Or both,” Cloud agreed. 

“I think he has better surveillance than the Turks,” Zack said. “Seriously, if I'm ever murdered, call him. He probably already knows who did it and has an evidence folder.”

“That's not funny,” Cloud told him, giving him a shove for good measure. 

Oh, that was not a great idea.

A _terrible_ idea, actually.

Zack dry heaved, coughing hard against his hand because he had some manners.

“Bathroom!” Genesis pointed for good measure, and thankfully, he made it to the toilet before his stomach clenched again. Mako 2, Zack 0. 

Zack wasn't sure how long he spent sitting on the floor. Every time he tried to stand, the nausea would ripple through him and despite what had to be an empty stomach, he still felt like he was going to be sick. Finally, he just leaned back against the walk-in shower, letting his head loll back against the glass. Plastic? He wasn't exactly sure. 

“You should drink something.” 

Zack's eyes opened, jolting awake. He must have been half drifting, half aware for a while because Sephiroth was now fully dressed and holding out a bottle of water. Zack took it and drank it down greedily; he didn't realise how parched he was feeling till he took the first gulp.

Sephiroth was frowning at him, “Pace yourself, or you'll throw up again.” 

“Thanks,” he said, taking a deep breath. Maybe in a minute, he'd find it in himself to stand up long enough to go back to his own apartment. This was seriously embarrassing. “Did you want to get Cloud's helmet? I don't want to make him late.”

“I already did,” Sephiroth told him, indicating the door. “You were...otherwise occupied.”

Throwing up everything but the kitchen sink in other words.

_Great._

“I should go downstairs with him,” Zack said, experimentally trying to push himself up. “I need to get him a pass for next time.”

“You should be resting,” Sephiroth said. “You will find yourself on the wrong end of one of Angeal's lectures if he finds you collapsed in a lobby bathroom.”

“I will rest!” Zack said. “It'll just be easier if I can get him a proper pass. I didn't think I'd be so useless yesterday or I'd have done it in the morning.”

“It's never pleasant,” Sephiroth said. “Is your friends presence likely to be a frequent occurrence or is it just because you're adjusting to your enhancements?”.

“Cloud?” Zack's foot slid on the tile and he dropped back down. Not for the first time, he wished he'd thought to put a t-shirt on instead of just his sweats because that stung against his flesh. “Yeah, we're pretty close. I get that you want privacy though; he wouldn't even have come in if Genesis hadn't told him to make sure I didn't collapse.”

“Privacy is a premium in First Class,” Sephiroth said, mildly. “As is discretion with our private lives.”

That he understood. While Zack had a little experience with fan stuff, the fans of the First classes could be intense to say the least. He didn't run into a lot of trouble with Angeal's, just now and then, but he'd spent enough time on the networks to know how crazy the Silver Elite could be when it came to the barest new scrap of information. It had to be hard not to be able to express how you feel in public but he could imagine the storm that would happen if they went public with something like that. It would be something he knew he'd struggle with if he decided to go out with them, which...sometimes, it felt like a foregone conclusion but other times, he could feel nerves bubbling up and he was sure the offer would be taken back.

Like for throwing up in Sephiroth's bathroom, for example.

“Cloud's not going to run his mouth, he's not like that. He's the only person I told about Angeal. As much as I love Kunsel and Cissnei – and I do, they're awesome – Kunsel already knows way too much about me and while I don't think either of them would do anything bad if they knew something, it's not my decision to make.” Zack couldn't imagine Cloud even considering it. “I only told Cloud about Angeal because I trust his judgement. He knows me pretty well. He's important to me, you know?”

There was a beat of silence, but Sephiroth just nodded. “I do.”

“Maybe if he was a bit less important to me, this whole thing would be a bit easier to deal with.” That...wasn't something he really meant to say out loud, even if it was true. It had been lingering in the back of his brain for nearly two months now, this idea that having feelings for one person didn't have to mean you couldn't have them for someone else. It just made things more complicated. “Sorry, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear. I'm just trying to figure out what I feel and I don't want to ruin things.”

“It does make things a little more complicated,” Sephiroth, master of the understatement. “Have you explained your issue to Angeal?”

“Not really,” Zack admitted, sheepishly. “I don't know what to say. 'Hey, I get the tummy flutters around someone other than you so does that mean we can't try dating?'"

“Yes,” Sephiroth told him. Zack looked at him like he'd grown another head. “As uncomfortable as I find the level of communication required to maintain a multiperson relationship, I can't deny that it is necessary. You are being asked to date, not to commit. Communicate this to Angeal and your friend, if necessary. If your friend is trustworthy, we would trust your judgement if it's something you choose to pursue. All we require is that you are open and honest about it.”

“You say that like it's easy,” Zack grumbled.

“It's simple, not easy.” Sephiroth crouched down, getting as close to eye level as he could be. “We are trusting you with the man we love. Don't abuse that by being a coward.”

Zack stared at him for a few moments, unsure of what he could really say to that. “I won't,” he said, hoping his tone portrayed how much he meant it, how much he understood he was being given a chance and that he was going to try really hard not to screw it up.

“Good,” Sephiroth stood again. “You should stay here until Angeal is done with his meeting. I will see your friend gets the guest pass.”

“You don't have to do that,” Zack said, taking another sip of the water before putting the bottle to his cheek to enjoy the cool plastic against his skin. “I feel better.”

“For now,” Sephiroth told him. “I will text Angeal to come here when he's done. Drink plenty, try not to walk before you're able to do so without falling into something and if you hear movement in the wall, it's just one of the Turks replacing the surveillance devices I destroyed two nights ago. Pay it no mind.”

“I can't tell if you're joking or not,” Zack said, because he had a weird, sinking feeling that he wasn't.

“I would recommend having Angeal go through your place until you're sufficiently adjusted to hear them by yourself,” Sephiroth gave him a small smile, as if it was totally normal to have people setting up surveillance in your apartment. Maybe it was for him. “Welcome to First Class, Zack. You'll get used to it.”

Zack tried not to let the surprise show in his face as Sephiroth left. Was it some kind of practical joke? Did he want Angeal to just search through his apartment and was going to say 'Gotcha!' afterwards? And if it wasn't a joke, just what exactly had he just let himself in for?


	5. Chapter 5

Angeal struggled to keep his mind on the meeting. 

It didn't help that this was one of those meetings he was supposed to listen to rather partake in, but aside from Zack, he had been to Wutai more recently than any other First and had the information on the ground if it was needed. This wasn't what was happening. What was happening was everyone pushing their own ideas about how to bring the situation under control.

The war in Wutai had been over for almost four years but there were repeated guerilla attacks on the Shinra forces which seemed to be more than the personnel stationed there could handle. There had been a skirmish two months previous at the base of a rumoured terrorist cell that wanted to reignite the war, the same mission that had earned Zack his place in First class and now there were signs of a second base as the supplies for the reactor surveys had been going missing several times over the last few weeks. The night before an explosive device had damaged the building site, wounded a Third class and killing three infantrymen. It was obvious in the way Lazard was talking that unless things died down, one of the Firsts would need to go and shut it down. While this wasn't likely to be difficult, it would be seen as escalation and wouldn't go over well with the uneasy official truce between Shinra and Wutai.

Scarlet was suggesting putting down some of her latest machines, while Lazard was trying to point out politely her machines couldn't tell the difference between civilians and terrorists half the time. It wasn't a new argument between the two and there would likely be several more before anything was resolved. Angeal couldn't help himself from checking his PHS when it vibrated in his pocket. 

**Sephiroth:** _Zack is still experiencing side effects of his injections and is recovering in my apartment. I need to be in the office, so I am walking his infantryman down to expedite his guest pass approval so he may return as needed._

What was Zack doing there? The last he had heard of it, Zack was resting in his own apartment with Cloud. While Sephiroth had offered to use his apartment as a more communal space, Angeal hadn't realised that would happen so quickly.

 **Angeal:** _Thank you for taking care of him._

Angeal glanced up as he heard Heideggers trademark laugh, in case a decision was being made or he needed to intervene. No, no such luck. It was just a shared disdain for civilian Wutai.

 **Sephiroth:** _I've left him with Genesis so you may want to delay thanks until you're sure they're both in one piece._

They would be fine. Even if he couldn't just come out and say it, Genesis was trying to connect with Zack on some level and he was always better at that when he had something to focus on instead of replacing awkwardness with his usual biting commentary.

Angeal turned his attention back to the meeting, but it wasn't long before he felt his PHS again. A glance told him this was from Genesis, but there was a photo attached so he didn't think it was particularly important. It could wait till the end of the meeting. 

Then his PHS buzzed again. 

Here was where he made his tactical error: if there was one thing Genesis despised above all else, it was being ignored. Another buzz. Then another. By the time Lazard declared what everyone else had known for half an hour and people began to file out, Angeal was regretting his life choices and caught between hoping nothing was wrong and hoping something was because otherwise he was going to have to explain to Genesis the meaning of being in a meeting.

_Again._

The picture turned out to be one of a half-dressed Zack with eyes shut, curled into a ball on Sephiroth's couch and using his arm for a pillow. He did still look a little pale, but not as bad as he had been last night. Genesis spent most of the other messages describing his so called adventures in puppy-sitting, from comments about not liking pets on the furniture to the few second video of Zack kicking out in his sleep which he described as 'chasing cats'. It was a ridiculous barrage, but Angeal had also noticed some time between the first photo and that video snippet, Genesis had fetched one of his own soft throw blankets and put it around him. Angeal couldn't help the surge of affection at that but he knew from experience that making any sort of comment on it was likely to get a snippy response. He didn't like people to know he had anything as mere mortal as feelings.

There was nothing on his agenda now for a couple of hours, so Angeal had planned to go up and make lunch for Zack and himself. He would ask Genesis if he wanted to join them, but doubted that he would take him up on the offer. Despite his many years playing intermediary between Genesis and Sephiroth, he had realised that he didn't quite function in that way between Zack and Genesis. If anything, things tended to escalate if he tried. They had to find their own rhythm.

Angeal let himself into Sephiroth's apartment quietly in case Zack was still sleeping. All three maintained key cards to their respective apartments and he expected in time, Zack's would be added to them. There was a sudden noise and Angeal braced himself for a loud disagreement or argument, but the two didn't seem to be annoyed at all. They were both sitting together on the couch, Zack still in sweatpants and Genesis fully dressed, but the noise didn't seem upset. If anything, it seemed almost...happy?

Then Angeal heard it and almost strode straight out. 

" _He's a good boy who never stops!_ "

Oh no.

It was coming from Genesis's PHS, where he was obviously playing the video. At this moment, Zack let out a loud whoop, "When did he have a _beard_?"

Genesis shook his head. "A beard is overstating it. He got the fool idea of growing out some scruff as if it would make him look more mature but it didn't suit him at all and it lasted all of a month."

"He didn't like it?" Zack's eyes were still pinned on the screen, but Angeal was sure Genesis had realised they had an audience. 

"Whether he liked it or not was irrelevant," Genesis said, as if he hadn't literally sat on him to get him to shave it off. "He has an excellent jawline that deserved not to be hidden behind patchy pubescent whiskers."

Angeal cleared his throat, making his way toward the couch in acceptance of the fact he was going to have to deal with this. “It wasn't that bad.”

Both of them turned their attention to him, but it was Zack who spoke first. “I didn't know you'd been on an episode of ' _Lil' Stamp and Pals'_!'”

Angeal fought the urge to groan, largely because getting a reaction was probably exactly why Genesis had decided to show Zack the video in the first place.

“I was just available,” Angeal said, sitting down next to Zack and craning to see the small screen that Genesis was still holding. He tried his hardest not to grimace at the sight of his seventeen year old self talking to the puppet Stamp and the gaggle of puppet friends he had on the children's television show. It had been a _very special episode_ addressing the Wutai war and encouraging children to be brave and talk to an adult if they were feeling threatened or afraid for family and loved ones involved in the fighting. 

“True,” Genesis said, giving him a look over Zack's head that made Angeal want to strangle him. “Sephiroth was meant to do it, but he was stiffer than the cafeteria food and kept looking at the puppeteers.”

Angeal frowned. “How do you know that?” 

Genesis hadn't been there. No one would have possibly mistaken him being a good person to have on a children's television show even if he had been in Midgar at the time, but he wasn't.

“I have a copy of the dailies,” Genesis said dismissively. “I'll dig it up at some point.”

Code for the next time Sephiroth annoyed him enough that he wanted to embarrass him. It was pointless, Sephiroth found his fame more perplexing than anything else and Angeal would be very surprised if even now he didn't understand the point of pretending the puppets were living creatures to interact with. 

Perhaps Genesis had read the incoming chide on his face because he pressed stop on his phone, standing in a swift motion and displacing the blanket to one side. “Alas, my friend, the fates are cruel. I shall show you the song another time.”

That grabbed Zack's attention immediately and his eyes widened. “There's a song?”

“Next time, puppy.” Genesis told him. If nothing else had come out of this, at least they weren't arguing. “Until then, I must embrace my terrible fate.”

“Maintenance team?” Angeal had asked the night before why they'd ended up in Sephiroth's after Genesis grumbled for the hundredth time about what Sephiroth's mattress did to his back and had already given him an earful about having temper tantrums that required licensed professionals to clean them up.

“Mmhmm,” Genesis intoned, leaning in for what Angeal had assumed would be a simple goodbye kiss until he felt him slip his tongue into his mouth. The kiss lingered long enough to be bordering on making out for an audience before Genesis pulled back.

“You could have just peed on him if you wanted to stake a territory claim that bad,” Zack murmured, ducking his head.

“That's not a kink he particularly enjoys, puppy, but I'm sure he can ask for it if that ever changes.” Genesis said, as Angeal felt his cheeks go on fire. _Damn him._ “He just looks beautiful when he gets all bashful like that, don't you think?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Zack said, glancing at Angeal as he smiled slowly. It might have been a mistake to let these two start interacting. This could go horribly wrong for him. “Hey, is that why you keep trying to make Cloud blush too?”

“He does?” Angeal asked, pulled from his spiraling thoughts. Hadn't Genesis only seen Zack's friend once?

“Yeah!” Zack replied enthusiastically. “It's not bad or anything! It just makes him mouth off instead off instead of being really nervous.”

“Mouthy is a good look for him,” Genesis shrugged, but it looked almost forced. There was something else in his expression that made Angeal feel more than a little wary, the look before he decided that the No Materia in the VR room didn't apply to him. “But you already know that, don't you?”

Zack inexplicably blanched.

“Enhanced hearing,” Genesis told him with a stage whisper. 

Zack went whiter still. “Did Cloud- ”

“Unless he has also gained enhanced hearing, I doubt it.” Genesis smiled sharply at him. What _had_ he missed this morning? “You should speak up, puppy. Like the ratty little puppet version of you says, be brave.”

Zack recovered enough to snort, “Are you really using a kids puppet to make your point right now?”

Genesis took a few steps forward, waving them off without so much as looking back. “If Shinra can use it to further their agenda, I don't see why I shouldn't avail myself to the same privilege.” 

With a dramatic flash of red, Zack and Angeal were left alone. 

Zack broke the silence, frowning as he looked around to Angeal. “What did he mean by that?”

“He's just being cynical,” Angeal said, because he didn't think this was the time nor place to go into nuance of the uses of propaganda. “What did he mean about your friend?”

“Oh,” Zack pushed himself up on the couch, pulling his feet so he could sit cross legged facing Angeal's side. “Okay, so, I have something to say and it might take me a while, but if you interrupt me, I might never get the words out and it's probably important that I do, so could you just not say anything till I'm done?”

He sounded so serious. 

Also like he desperately needed to take a breath, which added to the seriousness.

“Of course,” Angeal agreed, with a nod. “What's on your mind?”

“Back when you first said something, about us maybe getting involved and I said I needed to think about it because I didn't know for sure how I felt,” Zack began. That wasn't new information. “I knew I was attracted to you, because I mean of course I am, look at you, you're-” He made a vague gesture with his hands and made a noise that sounded like a strained grunt

“Is that a good sound?” Angeal asked, unable to help himself.

“Yes!” Zack reached out and clamped his hand over Angeal's mouth, the smell of the vanilla soap that Sephiroth kept in the bathroom lingering on his hands. There was something comforting about that. “Shhh!”

Angeal lifted his hands in surrender, so Zack dropped his hand.

“There's just a lot of layers to it, you know? Not even just that you're also with two other people that I didn't really know then but personal things. I can find you attractive without being attracted or just be attracted on a physical level which I know you said wasn't all you wanted with me but I've never really had to separate attraction types before so I needed time to figure that out. I can feel _something_ there but I figured that could just be a really intense feeling of friendship and the connection we had from working together for so long. I wasn't really sure how to sort out what it was so I started to think about my other friends and how I felt about them and it's a lot like what I feel with Cloud. Like I know he's hot, and I always can't wait to see him or hear from him, but I don't know where the line is! At what point is it something romantic and at what point is it just acknowledging you have a really hot friend who you care about a lot?”

Angeal nodded, because he understood that. It had been such a subtle progression with Genesis from friendship to a relationship that they often referred to it as just having been together in one form or another since they were old enough to understand what it meant to be in love with someone. Their respective relationships with Sephiroth had begun as a physical thing, with the eventual realisation that they no longer observed any real difference between their relationship with each other and with him. Love that slid slowly into being in love so subtly that he barely noticed it until it hit him hard seemed to be his lot in life. Perhaps Zack was experiencing something similar.

“Then we kissed,” Zack said, and he had such a silly smile on his face at that. “And it was amazing! At least for me, I don't know if it was fireworks for you.”

There was a beat of silence.

“You can speak up any time,” Zack said.

Angeal feigned innocence. “I thought you didn't want me to speak till you were done.” Zack gave him a shove on the arm. “All right, yes, it was...confirmation, that we had squarely moved beyond something platonic for me. That felt wonderful.”

Zack beamed at him. “So...that kind of left me with a problem, because if I felt the same way with Cloud, then I started wondering if maybe I was into him in that way and how that's not really fair on you because you asked me first and I agreed and it's kind of awkward right now, but I still want that.”

“Loving someone doesn't have to be a zero sum experience, Zack.” Angeal couldn't help but draw Zack's hands into his lap, running his fingers over the callouses on his palm. He shouldn't have to worry. If he decided that Cloud was the relationship he wanted exclusively, of course it would hurt, but he had to believe their relationship would survive in some form or another in the long term. “I'm not offended if you have feelings for your friend. He's an exceptionally beautiful man and it's obvious how much you care about him. Does it change how you feel about me?”

Zack shook his head, “No way.”

“Sephiroth or Genesis?”

“No, I mean I'm still trying to get to know who they are beneath the stuff everyone knows, but there is...” Zack trailed off, biting on his lip “There's something there too, when I'm not ducking magic.”

Again, that would be something that would come with time and exposure. Sometimes, Angeal regretted not being able to do this before, but there was also every chance that if they had, the differences in rank and age would have felt like a larger obstacle than they did when they were getting to know Zack as an adult First class.

“What does Cloud think about all this?” Angeal asked.

“I haven't really told him,” Zack said, sheepishly. “I didn't want to lie but I also can't explain it properly without explaining you and Genesis and Sephiroth too. I didn't want to go against your desire to keep that private without talking to you first.”

“Thank you for respecting that,” Angeal considered it for a moment. Cloud was very nervous around the Firsts, but Zack had explained he just didn't make friends easily and that Zack himself was his only close friend in the company. Perhaps if nothing else, this would help him relax around them enough that some crossover time spent together would be doable and dispel some of the awkwardness. “Do you trust him?”

“With my life,” Zack said, earnestly. 

That was all that needed to be said then, wasn't it? 

“I trust you,” Angeal told him, not missing the way Zack smiled at that. “If he has no objections to our dating, I have no objections to you exploring how you feel with him.”

“Really?” Zack asked, eyes widening a little. 

“I of all people know that sharing someone's heart doesn't make a relationship less special,” Angeal couldn't help him himself. He kissed his forehead. “Different, perhaps, but we are all very different people with different experiences. I'd like to get to know him a little better so I can form my own judgements, but if these feelings were what you were worried about, we can work with it. It's only the end of things with us if you want it to be.”

Zack grasped his hands hard. “If I didn't feel gross right now, I would be laying one on you right now.” 

“Come keep me company while I make lunch instead,” Angeal said, detangling himself from Zack so he could see if there was anything still in date in the fridge. “Tell me more about Cloud.”

Zack seemed only too happy to oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this would be 5 chapters long? It's probably going to end up twice that.


	6. Chapter 6

Trying to plan his shifts around when he could see Zack meant Cloud's schedule was a mess this week. 

He was working from midnight to ten in the morning, sleeping until two, going to the SOLDIER classes that he wasn't allowed to skip despite having done them before, eating then going to see Zack. Sometimes he could squeeze a couple of hours of a nap in here and there, but all in all, his schedule was fucked and he was wavering in the cafeteria line behind one of his bunk mates who thankfully kept giving him a shove every time it looked like he was going to fall asleep. Zack had told him to go catch up on his sleep tonight as Angeal would be there, but Cloud had been obsessively going over that and trying to keep his own jealousy and self pity at bay and it made sleep difficult.

“Cloud!”

When Cloud turned around from his place in the queue, so did several others. It was Angeal Hewley making his way down towards them. He was pretty sure it wasn't a sleep deprived hallucination since other people were still looking too.

Howe elbowed Cloud in the side, as if he really needed more waking up. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” Cloud insisted, hoping that the commander hadn't heard him. He also hoped it was true and this wasn't about his helmet or that he had somehow managed to upset Sephiroth in the ten words he'd spoken to him as he brought him down to a suddenly frenzied visitors office who couldn't get him his pass quickly enough.

“May I borrow you?” Angeal asked when he came to a stop. He didn't seem upset, but it was hard to tell.

Cloud nodded, not sure if he was supposed to address him formally given the setting or not, but he had been called by his name and not his rank. He slid out of his place in line and hoped he wouldn't be completely grilled when he got back because he definitely didn't have the brain power not to piss Howe off. It wasn't that strange, he tried to reason with himself. Angeal was close to Zack, people knew they were friends even if they couldn't seem to fathom why anymore than Cloud could.

The First led them away down the corridors to the elevator. “I hope I'm not dragging you away from something important.”

“Don't worry about it,” Cloud said, because even if it meant he would be half asleep in line for his evening meal, he didn't want to offend him.

“As I'm sure you're aware, Zack went through his second round yesterday and while I was able to stay with him and planned to do so tonight as well, I'm needed in an area a days travel away and need to leave now. I have a good relationship with the town overseers or I wouldn't impose on you.” Angeal looked apologetic. “I know you were going to see him tomorrow night, but would you mind staying with him tonight too?”

“Of course not,” Cloud said, because he would have anyway if he'd known Angeal wasn't going to be there. He'd figure something out, he could try and skip a couple of classes or nap here and there. The first round had been tough on Zack, dampening even his impossibly sunny mood and of course he wanted to be there to help any way he could, even if it was just fetching him water and listening to him crack dumb jokes.

Angeal smiled and nodded, “I'll let your CO that I'm borrowing you to take you off the schedule tomorrow. Zack's more stable than he was, but I'd rather had someone with him and make sure he gets the rest.”

Cloud hadn't expected that, but maybe he should have. They were all technically much higher ranks than him and thus, could conceivably adjust his schedule. He just didn't want to put them out. He didn't want special favours. This wasn't that though, was it? Zack just needed the help.

“I'll make sure he doesn't overdo it,” Cloud promised. 

“Thank you,” Angeal said. “I've stocked his fridge with several meals that will only need heating up. Please feel free to take some as well, since I doubt even his appetite will manage them all.”

“You don't have to do that,” Cloud said. He could just go down to the cafeteria and bring things up. This was about Zack.

“I insist,” Angeal said. “You'll need the energy to keep up with him once he's ready to bounce off the walls again.”

“Thank you,” Cloud said, because he didn't want to seem ungrateful.

“Is it all right to go up now?” Angeal motioned to the elevators.

Cloud nodded, “Yeah, no problem.” 

Angeal got off at one of the SOLDIER floors, thanking him again as it was some terrible chore to care of his friend. They'd probably end up watching bad movies, maybe game if Zack felt up to it. It beat eating questionable meat in the cafeteria and flopping out on his bed any day.

Cloud didn't make it a habit to spend time on the SOLDIER floors, even if it felt like he was here a lot lately. There was a definite difference in decor from the elevator up to the last level offices and the apartments, but now he had his new pass, no one seemed that bothered by his presence. Zack had already told him that the Thirds tended to live dormitory style, with four individual bedrooms but a shared living space so most people didn't go above that level. He kept doing things like that – telling him tidbits of information about what it was like to join SOLDIER as if he was somehow sure Cloud would be among them next time. It was easy to get swept up in his enthusiasm, even if it made Cloud feel sick to his stomach from the nerves. 

Would Zack even want to bother with him if he failed again? Maybe out of pity, but that was even worse. The thought was distracting enough that Cloud didn't notice the doors open at the First class floor until he heard a familiar voice.

“I'm trying to remember the last time a door opened and you weren't on the other side.”

The sound of Commander Rhapsodos's voice snapped him to attention and Cloud scrambled to get off the elevator and out of his way. “Sorry,” he muttered. 

“There are certainly worse things to consistently find on the other side of doors than a pretty boy.”

Cloud flinched involuntarily and bit back a response.

It was nothing he hadn't heard before, he was in the army after all and he'd gotten plenty of shit over the years from people who wanted to mock him for being 'pretty', for being smaller than them, for looking like a pushover and then not being one. Just because he didn't look the way most of the long termers did, that didn't mean he was incapable. He'd proved he was resourceful and he'd survived a hell of a lot longer than some of the bets said he would back in his first year. 

_Just let it go_ , a part of him said. The commanders default state was mocking, it wasn't personal and sometimes, it was even fun to play along when it didn't cut too close to the bone. 

As usual, Cloud didn't even listen to himself.

“Don't do that,” Cloud said, trying not to grimace as he said it.

Rhapsodos seemed to consider it for a moment. “Do you have something against being complimented?”

Cloud sucked in his cheeks, “It's not a compliment and you know it.”

“Do I?” Rhapsodos looked at him him for a moment, down then up. “No, I must stand by my initial comment. Quite lovely, really.”

“I'm not,” Cloud couldn't keep the irritation from his tone now. “I'm an infantryman. I'm not lovely.”

“Is there some sort of rule against being pretty and in the infantry?” Rhapsodos asked. “It would explain a lot about the majority of the army.”

“I'm serious.” Cloud said as firmly as he could.

“So am I,” Rhapsodos replied. “Not that it's not fun to watch you fluster, but what part of it is bothering you?”

“I may not be a SOLDIER but that doesn't mean I'm just...” Cloud couldn't finish the thought. It was hard to describe the feeling of being dismissed just for the way he looked, especially when he'd been being dismissed his entire life for one reason or another. For being the son of an unmarried woman. For getting Tifa hurt. For SOLDIER. For being weak his whole damned life. “I'm not a joke.”

“I didn't think you were,” Rhapsodos replied. “Being pretty hardly makes you a joke. I realise the two things are incongruous with power to morons like Heidegger, but you should know better.”

Cloud could feel the heat seeping into his cheeks, embarrassment close to the surface. “I've been in the army for almost four years. It's not exactly a fun place to look different to most of the guys I'm around.”

Rhapsodos indicated his head, “I think that might be because they've never seen a chocabo talk.”

“Real original,” Cloud deadpanned.

“I work with what I'm given,” Rhapsodos smirked briefly. “There's nothing wrong with being different. Most people are of little consequence, but people who are different have the chance to be extraordinary.”

“An easy thing for you to say,” Cloud said. He was a First Class, had been one for years already when Cloud arrived.

“Perhaps,” Rhapsodos nodded. “However, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that there is an excellent argument for my point. Inarguably the most 'different' person in the company, if not on the planet, is both absurdly pretty _and_ powerful.” 

Cloud blinked a couple of times, because while that was true, it was also Sephiroth. He was always the exception to just about every rule. “That's not the same.”

“It's just a matter of the role you've been assigned,” Rhapsodos said. “The company can dress him up in leather and give him the largest sword known to man, but no one with eyelashes like that can escape being known as pretty. _You_ can be dressed in ill-fitting infantry uniform with hair that sticks up worse than Zack's but it doesn't detract from your skin, your eyes, a seemingly rare smile.”

Cloud felt his cheeks now burning, “I guess.”

“You guess,” Rhapsodos chuckled. “You saw the man in nothing but a towel a few days ago and 'you guess' he's pretty. Or did you mean yourself?”

Cloud swallowed hard and looked down. “It's different if you're not special.”

“Are you not special?” Rhapsodos took a step into his personal space, forcing him to look up. “I don't become interested in people on a whim, Cloud. Most people are dull. You...get up time and time again, despite how many times you fail. You're clearly hungry for something more, but refuse to take advantage of the people in your life to leech your way there. That means you want to be considered on your own merits, a rare thing here. I find you interesting and yes, quite pretty. Don't insult my taste by refusing to see it.”

For a moment, Cloud wasn't sure what to do. His heart rate had kicked up, he could feel himself twisting his fingers around each other nervously and his mouth felt too dry to speak.

“Go take care of the puppy,” Rhapsodos all but whispered, taking one of the tendrils of Cloud's hair and pushing it gently behind his ear gently. “I'm sure I'll be seeing you soon.”

With that, Rhapsodos departed leaving Cloud's skin buzzing alone in the hallway. He nearly jumped out of his skin when turned around and realised Zack was standing at his door watching him.

“What was all that about?” Zack asked, cocking his head to one side in clear confusion.

“No idea,” Cloud admitted. What was he supposed to with that?

Zack stood back from the doorway to wave him in, face now falling into an easy smile. “Come on then, pretty boy.” 

Zack had _heard_ that? Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could just die from the embarrassment on the spot. 

He tried, but no such luck.

“You were eavesdropping?” Cloud asked, shuffling in past Zack. 

Zack shut the door behind him. “It's crazy how easy it is to hear things in that hall and I'm currently feeling really dumb for not realising it sooner.”

Cloud turned back to look at him. Zack didn't look that bad at all. Still in his pajamas despite it being six at night, but he looked comfortable and soft in a way that made Cloud's heart stutter in place. “Did Angeal text you?”

“Yeah!” Zack flopped down on his couch, leaning back against the cushions with a large grin. “Lucky me, I'm getting nurse Cloud coming to look after me. Don't suppose you've got the outfit on you?”  
  
“Don't make me break your nose again,” Cloud told him. 

“I'm shaking in my non-existent boots,” Zack replied, patting the couch beside him. “Come here, come on. I wanted to talk to you about something anyway.”

That didn't sound good. 

“What is it?” Cloud asked, hesitantly.

“No, sit down first,” Zack insisted. “This is serious.”

Definitely not good. 

Once Cloud sat down, Zack pulled himself up further onto the couch and crossed his legs. “So first I want to just say that being friends with you means a lot to me and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize that. You're one of best friends, you know that, right?”

Oh gods, was this it? Zack wanted to spend more time with his boyfriend – boyfriends? – so he didn't want to waste time with Cloud as much and he was trying to let him down easily.

Cloud nodded numbly, trying to feel comforted by how relieved Zack looked.

“Okay, great!” Zack said, brightly. “Do you want to have dinner with me?”

Cloud looked at him blankly. “That's what I'm here for.”

“Not like that!” Zack huffed at him. “Next week, maybe.”

Cloud couldn't figure out what having dinner had to do with any of it. “We have dinner a lot when you're here.” Was he being sent away again so soon?

“No, I mean a date,” Zack said.

Cloud almost asked him to repeat himself, because he absolutely did not just ask him if he wanted to go on a date. For a start, there was no way Zack saw him that way, he would know. Then there was the fact Zack was already seeing Angeal and possibly someone else. 

“A date,” Cloud echoed.

“Yeah!” Zack said. “You don't have to say yes if you don't want to. I get it's complicated.”

Cloud's brain was still stuck on 'date'. “You're already dating someone.”

“Someones, actually.” Zack lay back against the side of the couch with a deep sigh. “If that makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to be part of that, that's cool. Like I said, we're friends above everything else.”

_I didn't know that was an option._

That was what Zack had said last week, wasn't it? He had to be reading this wrong. It couldn't be what it sounded like.

“But you still want to go on a date with me,” Cloud clarified.

“Yep,” Zack said, nodded. 

“And everyone's okay with that?” Cloud pressed.

“More or less all told me to get off my ass and ask,” Zack laughed, shaking his head. 

It felt like the beginnings of an anxiety attack, but it also didn't feel bad. Was there such a thing as a _good_ anxiety attack?

“Actually, I should add that it's two people, not one.” Zack pushed his hand through the back of his hair. “I kind of had to ask if it was cool to out them because it didn't seem right to ask you out and for you not to know who else I was dating. I know I can trust you with that.”

“Two people and Angeal?” Cloud double checked.

“Yeah, but they're kind of all a package deal,” Zack admitted. “They've been together for a while. They just don't advertise it. The fan clubs would lose their minds.”

The only two people Cloud could think of and it made him feel like his brain was about to short out again. “You know where my mind is going when you say it like that, right?”

“If that place is Sephiroth and Genesis, “ Zack said. “Then yeah.”

If Zack was dating not just one First class but _three_ , then why did he want to go out with him? What could he possibly offer that they couldn't? 

“I don't know what to say,” Cloud said.

“I was kind of hoping you'd say yes,” Zack replied, worrying his lip.

How could he say yes? Surely they were just humouring him, letting Zack go figure out on his own that Cloud didn't really have anything to offer to him in that way and maybe that would make Zack feel a little better when he finally realised he didn't need Cloud around after all. Anything that sounded that good had to have a huge catch. 

“I'm not a good date,” Cloud said. “You know that, you've heard about how terrible I am at it.”

“Yeah, but I already know you.” Zack shrugged. “I already know I like you, we don't have to just do the awkward stuff.”

Cloud found himself picking at the threads of his uniform. “You sure you want to?”

“I'm sure,” Zack confirmed. “Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you.”

This was a terrible idea. Why couldn't Cloud just be happy with what he had? He had an amazing friendship and he was definitely going to screw that up and Zack was never going to want to see him again. He could lose everything.

“Okay,” Cloud found himself saying. 

The bright smile he got in return was absolutely worth any of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things to note on this one.
> 
> Firstly, I have updated the tags and will likely continue to do so. While I have a loose plan for the story, sometimes things just pop up. Secondly, this chapter is up a little earlier but next chapter will be a few days to a week later. I will have to leave the house for some repairs to take place and am unsure of the wifi situation where I'm staying but we'll be back to schedule the week after. I wanted to get it up before I go, so apologies for any mistakes. Lastly, you may have noticed that I cycled through each character POV in turn as I wanted to explore that but will likely just be using the most appropriate or interesting POV from here out. 
> 
> Have a good week everyone and stay safe!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for the comments and well wishes! We now have functioning internet again and I'm back with an extra long chapter this time.

They were nuts. They had to be nuts! 

Maybe there was just something about being inducted into First Class that slowly made you lose your mind and Angeal was just really good at hiding whatever it was happened to him and it was just lurking somewhere, waiting for it's time to show itself.

Zack wondered briefly what his type of crazy was going to be.

In a rare case of pre-date jitters, he had tried his usual method of doing squats or...well, he couldn't really call Cloud to hang out, because his date was with Cloud and he can't be nervous at him about him without making him nervous. Angeal would be gone until tomorrow and he really wasn't sure it was cool to talk about dating Cloud with him anyway. He could have called Kunsel, but he didn't want to talk about his romantic life with him yet and he absolutely knew it would go into some scary mental file that Kunsel kept on everyone. That was probably the real point of the helmet, it was to keep all the secrets in.

So Zack had gleefully remembered that as a SOLDIER First Class, he now had a shiny new card that gave him access to things Seconds could only dream of and one of those things was the fancy VR room after hours. It was a little after five and he wasn't seeing Cloud until seven so he had time to run out some of his nerves, shower and be ready in time. However, when he got down there, he'd realised there was a program already running. There could really only be one of two people using it. He hadn't had a chance to look at the high level programs yet and he was itching to see what he could tackle now.

It was some sort of under water facility, walls that felt claustrophobic and tanks lining the wall. Every now and then, the whole place shuddered as if caught in a current. It didn't take long to track the noise through the 'corridor' to the sound of blade clanking against blade and low voices that were surprisingly clear from that distance. Angeal was not kidding about the enhancement curve. When he finally stumbled upon the two Firsts, his first three thoughts had been that the room was wrecked (parts of the gangways were hanging on by a threads, there were several small fires, creature remains the computer hadn't gotten rid of yet and shattered glass all over the ground), that he thought most of the sims were of places you'd be expected to be deployed to work and he was now annoyed no one told him that Shinra was hiding a super secret awesome underwater base and lastly, that Sephiroth and Genesis were flat out _crazy_.

While there were the occasional displays where the Firsts would spar with each other and other members of SOLDIER, this was nothing like that. That was controlled. Magic beyond barriers was discouraged as not being the point of learning to duel with blades and they always looked almost like it had been practiced in advance. Maybe it had, because this was fast, brutal and he could feel his own breath hitch several times because if some of those blows hit, even for a First, they could be lethal. While he hadn't tested his own limits properly yet against anyone other than Cloud and Kunsel, he wasn't sure if this was the kind of spar he was capable of yet.

Maybe he was a little crazy already, because it kind of looked like fun. 

He must have been loud enough to grab Genesis's attention, because instead of ducking out of the way of a lunge, he turned to look at Zack causing Sephiroth to suddenly divert his lunge into one of the large metal pillars with a screech echoed as the sword went right through it. 

For a brief moment, there was nothing but silence and confusion abound. Genesis looked from him to Sephiroth then to the skewered pillar which had a dent in the middle like someone had drove a truck into it. “That crack wasn't Masamune,” he said.

Sephiroth's back was still to him, but Zack could see his sight was lined up with the pillar. “No.” There was some sort of movement that Zack couldn't see. “My index finger.”

“I can't remember the last time you broke a bone,” he heard Genesis say.

“Outside of controlled conditions, Da Hoa.” Sephiroth replied. “I landed badly.”

“An eleven year streak broken because someone is nosy.” Then Genesis raised his voice, “I'm not sure I like being stalked, puppy.”

_Busted._

“You didn't mind Cloud doing it,” Zack grumbled, jumping from the platform down to the main area. Creepy place, actually. Reminded him of his brief visits to the Science department. He landed on some of the shards, but nothing went through his boots so he was probably alright. That had to be twenty feet and it felt like he hadn't done more than step off a stair to one below.

A part of him wanted to clamber back up and try it all over again.

"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess," Genesis waved him off. “And so must I occasionally be.”

“Yeah, the flirting is really mysterious,” Zack said. He was about ready to call him out on the total non-answer. He actually did want to know if Genesis was just doing it for the hell of it or if he was actually flirting but then he saw the sparks from the corner of his eye as Sephiroth was pulling the blade out from the malformed pillar. "Whoa, hey, should you be doing that with a broken bone?"

"Why would a minor fracture prevent me from retrieving my sword?" Sephiroth asked him. He was now checking the blade over rather than looking at Zack. It didn't look any worse for wear.

"Doesn't it hurt?" Zack had broken quite a few bones over the years, but even with enhancements, they took a few hours to return to normal. 

"Not to a debilitating degree," Sephiroth asked. "It'll knit together again within the hour."

"An hour?" Genesis looked at Sephiroth's hand which, now Zack could see it, one finger was at a strange angle while the rest gripped the sword. "Are you unwell?"

"No, but I thought you were going to bring rapier up," Sephiroth explained. Nodding to indicate where Genesis's sword was hanging limply in his hand. "I didn't have the time to compensate." 

"That was crazy fast," Zack said. "I seriously thought you were about to get stabbed."

"Don't be ridiculous," Genesis said. "I haven't been stabbed in years! We both have more control than that, as your little interruption proves."

" _That_ was controlled?" Zack asked.

"Gaia, there's _two_ of them now," Genesis muttered, rolling his eyes. How did he not get giddy from how frequently he seemed to do that?

"There was no danger," Sephiroth told him. 

"We've been sparring since we were fourteen," Genesis added. "We're all very aware of each others capabilities and provided no one has to get doctors or whatever passes for it in the science department involved, there's no real harm done. I'm not planning on tattling, are you?"

“No,” Zack said, because it was probably the right answer. It still looked pretty nasty for a friendly match. If he'd ended up with something broken then he was pretty sure that Angeal would have frog marched him down to medical to clean up even if it was just his finger, but he was also new to being a First and maybe it'd be different now. Their relationship had changed, but he had a sneaking suspicion that if he started fighting instead of sparring, Angeal would still lecture him.

“I thought you would be getting ready for your little date,” Genesis said.

How did he–? 

“You know what, I take it back,” Zack grumbled, crossing his arms. “I think you might be stalking Cloud.”

Genesis put his finger and thumb to close together with nothing more than a smile. 

“Why are you stalking him?” Sephiroth asked, asking the question way more nicely than Zack had been planning to.

“I wanted to know what was wrong with him,” Genesis replied.

“There's nothing wrong with him!” Zack snapped. 

Genesis didn't look particularly cowed by it, “He failed the tests three times. From a SOLDIER standpoint, there is very much something wrong.”

“He's sensitive to mako,” Zack said, pressing his lips together and making a noise, “It's not his fault.”

“That's not nothing,” Genesis said. “Mako can be difficult to balance and maintain. If someone is particularly sensitive, they can become horrendously sick, comatose or completely catatonic.”

“Yeah, but he can't be the first person to have that,” Zack argued. “There has to be ways around that.”

“There have been exceptions made in the past if the person was deemed skilled enough that it was worth the risk,” Sephiroth said. “However, it is worth considering that if your friend succumbs to severe mako poisoning, it could end not only his career but his life. Are you sure it's worth that risk?”

As scary as the idea was, Zack couldn't help but think that it wouldn't matter to Cloud. They hadn't heard him talk about SOLDIER, they hadn't heard how much it meant to him. How hard those rejections had been. “It's his dream,” Zack implored. He couldn't stand in the way of someone's dream, no matter how dangerous it was or how much he cared about them. “ He deserves the chance to show he can do it if he just stops thinking so much.”

“I doubt thinking too much is something you've ever been accused of,” Genesis sniped.

“Hey,” Zack replied. “I might be new to the rank, but I've been in SOLDIER since I was fourteen, I know how hard it is but I also know what it takes and what he's capable of. I can't tell him not to try. It wouldn't be fair.”

He watched as the two other Firsts shared a look.

“Angeal really did a number on you, didn't he?” Genesis said.

“Yeah,” Zack agreed, because damn it, he was proud of what he'd learned from Angeal. Dreams, honour, they were important and he was going to help him . “I'm glad he did! I wouldn't be here if he hadn't helped me and if Cloud – or anyone else I could help – needed that help, I want to help them.”

“You're sure your feelings aren't colouring your judgement?” Sephiroth asked.

Zack shook his head. “No way. He's gotten shit his whole life and he still wants to protect people. Isn't that exactly the kind of person SOLDIER should want?” 

Genesis sighed heavily, “May the Goddess save me from idealists. Give me your PHS.”

“What?” Zack asked, blankly. “Why?”

Genesis merely put his hand out. “Give me your PHS!”

“Where's your PHS?” Zack asked.

“You'll learn not to wear breakable things when dueling with Sephiroth,” Genesis said, punctuating his point by shaking his hand.

Zack looked at him, wondering if he was going to regret this. He reached into his pocket and placed it into Genesis's hand. 

“....This isn't password locked,”Genesis said.

“No?” Why would it be? He didn't have anything to hide.

“You're friends with a turk and a gossip and you don't even lock your PHS,” Genesis muttered, swiping and poking at the screen. 

“What are you doing?” Zack asked.

“Texting Cloud,” Genesis said.

Zack balked. “Why?”

“I need a better look at his combat style,” Genesis replied without looking up. “I assume since you have a date, he's likely to be free now.”

“You're not serious,” Zack said. He couldn't be!

“I'm completely serious,” Genesis told him. “I can't make an accurate judgement without it.”

“It's never stopped you judging someone before,” Sephiroth interjected.

“You turn into such a brat when you hurt yourself,” Genesis told him. 

“As opposed to it being my default state of being?” Sephiroth replied. 

“I pull it off better than you do.” Genesis didn't bother looking up at him either and Zack had a terrible sinking feeling that meant Cloud was replying. “Aren't you a little curious about him ?Plenty of people fail once or twice, but it's usually incompetence and they're either killed in action or 'killed in action'. Either he's very lucky or he has potential and something is wrong.”

“Even if most army defaults don't make it to the end of their contracts,” Sephiroth said, “It doesn't necessarily mean anything.”

“He's pretty good,” Zack said. He was! He was fast, resourceful and even if he looked like death warmed up after, he could keep up enough for it to be fun without getting hurt. “He just doesn't test well.”

“Not good under pressure?” Sephiroth asked.

“No, that's the thing, every time I've gone with him, he goes above and beyond to try to help,” Zack sighed. “He's gotten hurt quite a few times.”

“Reckless then,” Sephiroth said.

Zack shrugged. “If being reckless kept you out of SOLDIER, half of us wouldn't be here. Why are you so determined to find something wrong with him?”

“I'm not,” Sephiroth said. “I just– ”

“Quiet!” Genesis shushed, indicating back up the way Zack had come in. 

There was the faint sounds of boots against the floor and it only took a minute or so more for the familiar blonde spikes to appear through the door. He could see the moment Cloud managed to find him – and who he was with – then look around at the state of the room.

“Did something come up?” Cloud called down. 

Gah, of course he was going to think this was Zack being busy and wanting to cancel!

“No!” Zack called, quickly. 

“Then what am I doing here?” Cloud gestured to the room. “I'm definitely not supposed to be in here.”

Genesis scoffed. “It's not the first time you've been in here, surely.”  
  
Instead of answering, Cloud looked to him. Of course he didn't want to drop Zack in it just because they tended to blur the line between army and SOLDIER when it was just them. Thinking about it, a lot of their lines had been blurred when it was just them. He was surprised he hadn't noticed it earlier.

“I don't think they care either way,” Zack said. 

“Okay,” Cloud called. “If you're not cancelling, what am I doing here?”

“Do you want to come down?” Zack asked. “It's probably easier than yelling back and forth.”

Cloud looked at Zack, then to the busted gangways. 

Yeah, okay, a good point. It wasn't like it was a good idea for him to jump off at that height. He could just climb back up and put him over his shoulder, no problem. “Hang tight, I'll come up and get you.”

“If you're going to pick me up again,” Cloud warned, “You can forget it.”

“You could jump,” Zack put his hands out, trying to keep his face straight. “I'd catch you.”

Cloud just looked at him, then swung around onto the remains of the ladder and used the studs in the wall to climb down to the lower deck. 

“I hadn't seen those,” Zack admitted, sheepishly.

“You just jumped, didn't you?” Cloud said, jumping off the studs.

“No,” Zack said. “Well, yeah, maybe.”

Cloud rolled his eyes at him, but he didn't seem all that annoyed. Maybe even a little amused. “So why am I here?”

“Because Genesis has my PHS,” Zack said. 

“Yeah, I already guessed it wasn't you.” Cloud replied.

“You did?”

Cloud smiled at him, “You text so fast you miss out half the letters. ”

“I'm just excited to hear from you,” Zack grumbled.

Behind him, he could hear Genesis laughing. “And that is why you're the puppy.“

Zack whined, “I just wanted to run off some nerves and I'm getting mocked,” 

“You were nervous?” Shit, he hadn't wanted to say that. What if him being nervous made Cloud feel nervous?

“Yeah,” Zack scratched the back of his neck absently. “Kinda.”

“You didn't have to go through with it if you don't want to,” Cloud said, eyes averting down. “I get it.”

“Ugh, no, that's not what I meant!” Zack reached for Cloud, putting his arm around his neck and pulling him close to speak in his ear. “I'm really looking forward to tonight, okay?”

Cloud tried to pull away from him. “Okay, okay, get off.” 

“On the first date?” Zack laughed. “What kind of guy do you I think am?”

“The kind that's been complaining about their lack of a sex life for months?” 

Zack let him go, trying to fight the sudden rush of warmth in his cheeks. “You jerk!” he laughed, trying not laugh nervously because damn it, they had an audience. “I can't believe you said that!”

“I was under the impression you asked to take things slowly,” Genesis asked, interrupting Zack's attempts to ruffle Cloud's hair in revenge. 

“I did!” Zack admitted, suddenly very aware that he was talking about someone he was dating with someone else he was dating and possibly if they ever got around to an actual date, multiple persons he was dating. “Slow like I don't know if I'm ready to jump into bed with multiple people when I haven't done anything more than hang out with them, but the Angeal kissing aside, I think I just got further with Cloud than I have with anyone in a long time.” 

Cloud was already catching up to him, looking a little pink around his cheeks. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Zack admitted. “Every time I try to go any further with Angeal, he slams on the brakes.”

“He's ridiculous,” Genesis said, turning the screen of Zack's PHS back on.

Uh oh.

Zack put his hands up, “Don't tell him that!” 

Genesis didn't bother looking up. “Why not?”

“I don't want him to feel pressured into doing stuff he's not ready for,” Zack said. He wasn't a total dick. "We can go at his pace."

“He has said as much about you,” Sephiroth replied. “It seems the two of you still some points to work out.”

“Yeah,” Zack said, his shoulders sagging. This communicating when you want something sex related thing was tricky when you had an existing relationship where deferral could be common. “I guess so.”

“It was the same with us,” Genesis told him in a conspiratorial tone. “It took him so long to come to grips with how he felt and then all the ridiculous guilt that came with that when he could have simply said something and all of that could have been avoided. You have to use your words to ask for what you want.”

Not the first time he'd been given that advice lately, but it had gone pretty well so far with Cloud.

Even if he did look a little bit uncomfortable now.

“Is this weird for you?” Zack asked him.

“A little,” Cloud admitted. “Sorry.”

“No, I want you to tell me this stuff,” Zack said, putting his arm around his shoulders and this time, leaving it there. On a whim, he pressed his mouth against his hair and felt Cloud huff in response. “It's just talking. I'm great at talking!”

“Yeah, the trick's usually trying to get you to shut up,” Cloud mumbled, and Zack laughed because if he was being mouthy then he wasn't too freaked out. He clammed up when he was freaking out.

“Feel better?” Genesis asked, and when Zack nodded, he clapped his hands together. “Good, because I believe we were going to get a look at what you could do if Cloud is amenable to helping out.”

“With what?” Cloud asked.

“I think swordplay will do the trick!” Genesis decided.

“He means literal swords,” Zack looked at Genesis and wondered if maybe he didn't. Still not clear on what exactly he was doing with Cloud and he was going to have to have to find him and ask him some time when Cloud wasn't around to take it the wrong way. “I think.”

“I – you want to spar?” Cloud turned to look at him. “Here?”

“Not if you don't want to,” Zack said, now taking a step back so he could see his face better. 

As if Cloud was going to take it as anything other than a challenge once he'd said it, but Zack still wanted to give him an out.. 

Cloud looked down at himself, “I need to go get a sword.”

“You may borrow mine,” Genesis said.

Cloud's eyes practically bugged out of his skull. “Uh, I can't do that.”

“Why not?” Genesis looked over him briefly. “It's a more appropriate fit for your build than what I'm sure you're used to.”

Cloud didn't look at all convinced. “What if I break it?” 

“I have had my Rapier for almost nine years. It has survived war, harsh conditions and Sephiroth.” Genesis glanced at the pillar and back again. “Do you really think you'll break it?”

“I'm good at breaking things that shouldn't be breakable,” Cloud said miserably. 

“Prove it,” Genesis demanded, juggling the blade from hilt to blade and offered it to Cloud who took it tentatively.

“It's lighter than I expected,” Cloud admitted, turning it around to look at it.

“I value agility over blunt force,” Genesis said. “People are fragile. It doesn't take a broadsword to kill one if you know what you're doing.”

“I'm not trying to kill Zack,” Cloud said, then shrugged. “Most of the time anyway.”

“Oh, you're gonna get it now,” Zack told him, pulling the blade from his harness. 

The first few clashes were slow: Cloud wasn't used to that kind of sword and Zack was wary of hurting him. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be helping the flow of movement and Cloud's movements were clankier than he'd seen him in a long time. Damn it, this was the problem! Cloud knew that he was being watched and started overthinking instead of focusing. It was something he'd struggled with a lot, focus coming in bouts and getting swept up in it instead of being able to assess and move but if Angeal was willing to be patient and let him figure it out, surely he could figure a way to help Cloud too, right?

“Is there a reason you're going that slowly?” Genesis asked. 

Zack lowered his sword and sighed, “I don't know what I can really do yet. I don't want to hurt him.”

“You don't have to treat me like I'm made of glass,” Cloud snapped at him.

“It's not you,” Zack said, shrugging. This was definitely more about him being worried about hurting Cloud than Cloud not being able to defend himself, but he also didn't want him to think he was using kid gloves on him. “I've broken so much stuff this week. I haven't felt this out of control since I was a Third.”

“Sparring is an exercise in trust I've seen Thirds lose grips on their swords and stab themselves so while not the most graceful, he's clearly not useless at it.” Genesis said. “Cloud, do you trust Zack to pull back if it looks like he's going to do anything requiring medical intervention?”

“I do,” Cloud nodded.

“Thanks but I just don't know if I trust me,” Zack replied. How was he supposed to know what was the right amount of force, the right speed? He knew his view was probably now a little skewed, but if he asked Cloud to monitor it, he'd let himself get hurt them insist he wasn't. 

“Would you trust me to intervene if I thought there was significant danger?” Sephiroth asked, breaking him out of his line of thought.

Zack tried to blink away his surprise. “Are you okay with that?”

“I've seen Angeal do it enough times to be familiar with the idea,” Sephiroth said.

Considering what he walked in on, yeah, Zack could totally believe Angeal would come in and give them both time outs.

“I trust you,” Zack said, exchanging a smile with Sephiroth before trying to settle back into the groove.

They started back up again, striking and parrying until Zack tried to speed up a little. He didn't really feel like he was exerting himself, but he could see every few minutes, Cloud was being forced to take an unstable step backwards. It didn't feel like going through the motions exactly, he still had to try and think a move ahead, but he kept ramping it up a little and he could see Cloud starting to struggle. That was his first clue he was going pretty fast now, because it didn't feel like it. It felt pretty relaxed to him.

Or it did right up until he found himself sitting on the floor ten feet away with his skin pickling like – 

“Did you just use Lightning on me?” Zack asked, 

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” and Cloud looked sorry, if a little confused. He looked down at the sword, then back to Zack. “We don't usually have materia equipped in training rooms.”

“Because you're not supposed to use it when you're sparring!” Zack squawked. He started laughing, more because he'd been surprised than anything else. “You cheated!”

“No where does it say you can't,” Genesis told them. Oh, he was totally laughing at him now, wasn't he?

“It's not the point of a duel,” Zack said, pushing himself up with a jump.

“Silly me, I thought the point of a duel was to win,” Genesis rolled his eyes. 

“How you win matters too,” Zack said. “What? It does!”

“Welcome to my world,” Sephiroth sighed.

“It was just instinct,” Cloud said, and oh man, now he sounded upset again. 

“If your instinct was send him away yelping for getting ahead of himself, I applaud them.” Genesis said. “At least it was a cute yelp.”

“I didn't yelp!” Zack protested, then caught sight of Cloud's face. “Did I?”

“Just a little one,” Cloud admitted, but at least he didn't seem as sad about it now. Worth swallowing a little pride for him to see the ghost of a smile there.

“Fine, fine, you win,” Zack held his hands up in surrender. “I got cocky and paid for it. I'll get you next time!”

“It's not like we can use materia next time,” Cloud said, holding Genesis's sword back out to him. “Are those mastered?”

“They are,” Genesis nodded.

“I should have guessed this was all a ruse to get Cloud to play with your sword,” Zack said, unable to stop himself from chuckling when Cloud predictably flushed almost immediately.

“Don't worry puppy,” Genesis said, pushing away from the scorched desk he'd been leaning against. “You're next.”

“You want to spar with me?” That was a little taken aback by that. Even if they were the same rank now, they'd never done that. 

“Do you not want to?” Genesis asked. 

Oh, this felt like some kind of test. 

“Sure, I'm game,” Zack said, then he pointed at him. “But I'm telling you now, getting set on fire is not a turn on for me.”

Genesis grinned sharply, “Noted.”

Zack fixed his footwork, waiting for the first move when there was a sharp sound to the left of them. When he turned, he saw Sephiroth had hooked his arm around Cloud's waist and pulled Cloud across the desk to him. 

The look of shock on Cloud's almost set Zack off laughing again.

“It's usually best to observe some distance between yourself and Genesis when he's fighting someone else,” Sephiroth explained. “Spells can stray.”

“Now who's yelping,” Zack cooed.

Cloud responded by flipping him off.

By the time they were done with the sparring, Zack had decided that he was definitely a little crazy because even if he was now sweating and he could feel the pleasant burn in his arms and legs, it had been fun. It reminded him more of sparring with Angeal than anyone else, which made sense, they'd probably been sparring together since they were little cadets.

“Was that the date?” Cloud asked, breaking him out of his thoughts as the two wandered back out of the VR room.

“No, that was–“ Zack shrugged. “I don't know what that was. Every time I think I know where I stand, something happens and I don't know again.”

“You didn't want me there,” Cloud said, like it was some kind of foregone conclusion.

“It's not that,” Zack said. “I just didn't want to make you feel nervous with my nervous, you know?”

After a beat, Cloud nodded, “Are you still nervous?”

“Yeah,” Zack said, yanking him into the lift with him instead of letting him divert down to the barracks. There was no point in him going back now, it had to be after seven and they were already overdue for their date. “But in a good way. You?”

“Yeah,” Cloud ducked his head. “Mostly that you're not going to shower first.”

“Hey,” Zack gave him a shove. “You're not exactly first date pristine either.”

“That's why I was going to shower,” Cloud said. 

“You can shower with me,” Zack said. First class definitely had it's perks. “It looks big enough.”

“You want to shower together on a first date?” Cloud asked.

“We've showered together in the communals,” Zack protested.

“Yeah, but that was before,” Cloud replied. “It's different.”

Okay, maybe things were a little different now. Just something else they had to get used to, the idea that stuff that would have once been seen as friends joking around took on a different meaning when you were dating.

“How about you order some bad pizza, I'll shower and you can use it while I go pick it up?” Zack suggested. Pizza and bad movies was something they did a lot, so maybe it being familiar would help any lingering weirdness.

“Sounds good,” Cloud said.

Maybe it was too familiar? It was so difficult to figure out the right way to move stuff they did as friends into stuff they could do as boyfriends. Or just buds who were also boyfriends. 

Budfriends?

He was overthinking this. 

“Hey, can I kiss you now?” Zack asked, taking the plunge. “I know that's usually more of a post-first date thing, but if you're going to stay tonight, I don't really want to wait until tomorrow.”

“You have no patience,” Cloud said, the little half grin giving him way. 

“Just can't keep my hands off you,” Zack said.

“You're so full of it,” Cloud told him.

“If by it, you mean awesome, then yes,” Zack said, “Yes, I am.”

Zack really hadn't expected Cloud to put his hand in his hair and pull him into a kiss, but he wasn't going to complain about it either. He couldn't stop himself from smiling into it, brushing his lips over Cloud's and shit, why hadn't they been doing this the whole time? Cloud just seemed to fit perfectly right against him, the feeling of his fingers in his hair, the way he seemed to lose the anxiety once he'd decided to do something and Zack was very happy to be that something. If the elevator doors hadn't opened, he could have happily stayed right there the rest of the night. He had wanted some kind of reassurance they fit together in that way, something that he couldn't second guess or rationalise himself or Cloud out of and boy, had he got it.

“We're definitely doing that again,” Zack said, biting back the desire to groan over the sudden loss. “Come on.”


	8. Chapter 8

Genesis woke on Tuesday morning to an empty bed. 

It wasn't unheard of for this to happen. It was to be expected that being part of the elite meant they were often separated by missions or the minutiae of Midgar operations but as a rule, when one or both of his partners were available, he preferred to have them within arms reach during the night. It likely stemmed from their field operations as teenagers; the reassurance of having someone at his back that he could trust and the comfort that came from being able to lay his hands upon familiar skin or hear the rhythms of breathing he'd come to associate with a safe place to rest. Though if he thought back to the nights he'd convinced Angeal to remain at his home as a child, or when Angeal's parents indulged his childhood clingy tendencies and allowed him to stay, he had found a similar sort of comfort having him nearby then too and the biggest threat in Banora was getting hit on the head by mercurial trees deciding this was the moment to let their apples go.

Angeal was still gone, but having finally wrapped up his mission, he would be back by lunchtime. Genesis was torn between wanting the relative privacy of their own apartments to celebrate said return or making a minor occasion of it by calling one of the few restaurants which could be discreet and that kept a standing table for them when they wanted it. The latter would feel a little more special, it had been months since they'd been able to go out together but the former held the possibility of fucking him before he went to give his report and truthfully, that sounded blissful. As much as they loved one another, Genesis was aware that too much time with one partner and not the other came with it's own set of issues and in the case of leaving Sephiroth and himself alone for too long, they could end up sniping a little too close to the chest and getting on each others last nerves. 

There had been a taut restlessness to Sephiroth for the last few days; he was built for battle and rarely seemed to know what to do with himself if left to his own devices for too long. Despite repeated attempts to get him to engage in a hobby of some kind, he had yet to find anything that interested him. While Genesis had attempted his usual method of sparring to keep him more engaged than distant, too much of it and it got under his skin that Sephiroth was ever an impenetrable force no matter how much he pushed himself and he had snapped at him. It was as close as they ever truly got to arguing, given Sephiroth would rather walk away than scream back and that was ultimately quite unsatisfying. He had tried being affectionate in apology but the response had been cursory at best and Genesis had ended up letting him get back to his laptop in favour of getting some sleep and hoping for cooler heads tomorrow.

Come to think of it, Sephiroth had probably just relocated out into the living area to keep working without disturbing him. He couldn't have been that upset with him or he would have left the bed before he drifted off, knowing it would bother him. Genesis listened for the telltale clack of the keys and was surprised when he instead heard heavy, hitched breaths and movement. If Sephiroth had gone out there to take matters into his own hands like an embarrassed teenager instead of just waking Genesis up then he was going to be extremely irritated. 

Slipping into his robe, Genesis stopped mid-footfall barely a step from his own bedroom at the sight of Angeal sunk into the loveseat with his pants pooled around his ankles and Sephiroth in his lap. More specifically, Sephiroth had his knees half on Angeal and half on the cushions, trying to get some sort of purchase enough to ride him with a steady rhythm, but Genesis doubted he'd manage. As fantastic as the position was for feeling stretched and wanton, Angeal loved to take advantage of being able to kiss easily and judging by his hand splayed on Sephiroth's spine, he wasn't going to get far before he got pulled back in.

As if on cue, Genesis watched as Angeal slid one hand into his hair and pressed against his back to pull him into soft, almost chaste kisses. If it was at all possible to be considered capable of such a thing with someone when your cock was buried in them. Sephiroth pulled back, leaning his hand behind him on Angeal's knee, but Angeal pulled him forward again and _oh_ , he made a soft, throaty noise and pushed hie head back. 

“No, open your eyes.” Angeal's voice was breathless and barely audible, enhanced hearing or not. “I want you to see how good you're making me feel, that's it.” 

Genesis leaned against the door as quietly as he could. It was always a pleasure to see Angeal in his sexual element, mixing heartfelt sentiment and intimacy without losing the passion of the moment. He watched him rub his fingers stroke over Sephiroth's back over and over again. It would be so easy for that to be patronizing. Exposing that level of vulnerability was something both he and Sephiroth struggled with, particularly when left to their own devices where a competitive nature could get the better of them but Angeal had never had much trouble putting his heart out there. Perhaps they shouldn't have been surprised he was attracted to Zack Fair – he was the cut from the same cloth, so utterly expressive that every little emotion seemed to be laid bare for all to see.

Better yet, Genesis smiled as he found that the roil in his stomach at the thought was barely noticeable now. Perhaps having someone else more open in their relationship would add something of value. Loathe as he was to admit finding such a thing attractive, Zack was lighthearted and utterly undeterred by even the most stubborn and moody people. According to the Turks vibrant little slum rat, he had once made even Tseng have an expression and he could almost believe it. After all, he was also dating a very stubborn little blonde and after that, the great wall of Sephiroth might actually be easier to handle. 

They weren't altogether dissimilar, now he thought of it. Especially if he compared Cloud with Sephiroth when they had only known him for a few weeks too. Stubborn, resourceful, always ready to fight but utterly incapable of taking a genuine compliment that was not related to something utilitarian. For a brief moment, he imagined what Cloud would look like in the same position as Sephiroth now, flushed and held in place while being given praise and affection with nowhere to hide. He was a little surprised to find his skin prickle, a fresh frisson of arousal swimming through his veins. 

Genesis could blame it on watching his lovers together, they were certainly stunning but if this was what imagining Cloud with them was doing to him, he was in much deeper than he thought. 

There had been a handful of crushes over the years, but those attractions had been the physical desire to fuck them, to make them whine and writhe under his hands and then it was over. He had little interest in involving his partners with the proceedings or even spending time with them on a personal level afterwards – a fact he was always clear and upfront about when it happened. It had also been a few years since such a thing had occurred and he had imagined the urge to look anywhere else had simply faded with his teenage years. Watching Sephiroth roll his hips frenetically as Angeal thrust up jerkily to meet him, he thought of watching the men he loved take Cloud apart piece by piece until he was able to do nothing else but accept the pleasures they would give him, to see what he was like without the emotional armour and restraint, to see if he was just as responsive in bed as he had been to the barest touch in the hall.

Genesis shifted uncomfortably, he was getting hard enough that he wanted to do something about it but announcing himself would change the dynamic of the moment. He didn't want that, not when he could watch Angeal wield intimacy with more skill and power than any weapon. 

Despite what other people seemed to think of him, Genesis could be patient.

Angeal's thrusts became slow and deep, giving a guttural moan as he came. It satisfied something possessive within him just to watch them wrapped up in each other and remind himself think _mine_. That there was also no real hint of jealousy when he was imagining them with – _someone else_ – probably meant something he ought to examine later.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Angeal smiled, swallowing hard. Genesis watched him take his hand from Sephiroth's back and slip it between them. It took only two, three strokes for Sephiroth to come with an almost shocked noise, sliding off of Angeal's softening cock and letting him crowd him close, kissing at his cheeks, his mouth, his jaw before pressing his forehead against his. “I love you. You know that?”

Sephiroth nodded, almost pliable under his hands. He didn't often say the words back, but they'd come to learn the language he used to communicate the emotion. 

“Welcome back,” Genesis said, breaking his silence. He didn't think either were unaware of him, they were far too attuned to their surroundings for that, but perhaps happy to let him just watch them.

“I thought I heard you,”Angeal moved his head away to look at Genesis, smiling and perhaps, if Genesis were not mistaken, looking a little bit proud of himself. 

Sephiroth moved gingerly from Angeal's lap, sitting sideways beside him on a throw that was definitely going to need cleaning. He let his legs drape over Angeals, who petted them absently. Sephiroth leaned back and batted his fingers at a just out of reach box of tissues, looking remarkably like a lounging cat that refused to move to attain a toy just out of reach before simply deciding it wasn't worth moving for. 

Genesis grabbed it and held it out to him, if only to save his couch cushions. “You look a mess,” he told him, as he took it.

“Your scolding needs work,” Sephiroth said, cleaning up. “You're not supposed to smile.”

“I'm hardly scolding,” Genesis said, situating himself on the other side of Angeal. “If anything, I'm a little impressed. You got your hair.”

It was hard not to laugh at the way Sephiroth scrambled to check it, threading his hands through it with enough concentration that you would have thought he was planning an invasion. Well worth getting the ball of his foot shoved into his thigh, especially when Angeal ran his fingers down his arm and left his hand on Genesis's own.

“It's good to be home,” Angeal said. Another person and it would have been a gross sentimentality, but he did always seem to mean it. 

“I thought you were only going for a few days,” Genesis said, locking his fingers through Angeal's. “You're the nice one, that's why they sent you.”

“It would probably have worked quicker if Heidegger hadn't gotten there on the second day,” Angeal grimaced. 

Genesis echoed the expression. “Who's idiot idea was that?”

“The president,” Angeal answered grimly. Didn't that simply say it all? “He _is_ the head of public safety.”

“And a bulbous, self important head at that,” Genesis said. If anyone needed a mood killer, Heidegger was up there with the best of them. “I don't understand how anyone can work under him without throttling him.”

“You can ask Cloud next time you see him,” Sephiroth said, because he was a petty tattletale when he got the urge to be. 

“When are you seeing Cloud?” Angeal asked him.

“We've just been running into each other,” Genesis said. It was true. Yes, perhaps he had decided to snoop a little on his records, but he was something – someone – interesting and he wanted to know more. “Don't make it out to be something more than what it is.”

“And what is it?” Angeal asked.

That was a difficult question to answer truthfully. He wasn't sure himself.

“He has a crush on him,” Sephiroth added oh so helpfully. This was revenge for snapping at him last night, he was so sure of it. 

Something in Angeal's face softened, “Do you?”

The problem was that Genesis had never had an issue admitting when he had a crush. He valued honesty and expected it in return, so it would be awful to deny if he was attracted to someone. He didn't always act on it, either because it fizzled away on it's own or the person was not agreeable to the terms defined, but he always discussed it without fail. 

But to describe it as a crush if he wasn't sure that's what it was felt wrong. Crushes were simple affairs. This didn't feel particularly simple.

“You like him,” Angeal said softly, in such a way that Genesis actually felt his cheeks begin to warm. 

“Yes,” Genesis said, stubbornly waiting for his own mortification to fade. “He's...”A spitfire? Pretty? Bright? Amusing? Challenging, but in a the way that made him want to crowd him close and see what would happen? “...interesting.”

Angeal smiled at him, his tone indulgent. “Interesting,” he repeated, “I see.”

“I don't,” Sephiroth asked, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged. “He's a curiosity, perhaps.”

“No, no,” Angeal said, smiling and ducking his head. “I just remember the last person he described as 'interesting'.”

“I don't recall anyone specific,” Sephiroth said, oblivious as ever.

Genesis did.

( _”It's not a crush, don't be ridiculous. We're friends, aren't we?” Freshly eighteen and barely able to get his eyeliner straight, let alone his feelings. “I just think he's interesting.”_

_“Yes, that's why you had all those newspaper clippings above your bed at home,” Angeal had snorted. “Because you think he's interesting.”_

_Genesis had ignored him as he often did when the subject of their home village came up. “Do you not think he's interesting?”_

_There had been the ghost of a smile on Angeal's face when he said, “I didn't say that.”_ )

“That's because it was you,” Angeal said, leaving absolutely no wiggle room, the bastard. 

“Oh,” Sephiroth said, as if he was simply filing away a new piece of information. 

“He reminds me a little of you,” Genesis admitted, because if he wasn't getting out of this, he may as well lean into it.

“Why?” Sephiroth asked. 

“He's very driven. A little more travel sized, perhaps, but...” Genesis trailed off, more for effect than the need to think before adding to it. “He doesn't know what to do with a compliment anymore than you usually do.”

“Are you supposed to do something with a compliment?” Sephiroth asked, because there were rats being dissected in the Science Department with a better grasp of social skills than he had. 

“He seemed to think I was making fun of him,” Genesis said.

“You do mock people a lot,” Sephiroth pointed out. “Are you sure it was a compliment?”

“Of course I'm sure!” Genesis huffed.

“If someone else heard it,” Angeal said lightly, “Would they know it was compliment? Or was this one of those compliments where only you would find it complimentary?”

Genesis rolled his eyes at the pair of them. “I said he was pretty. Satisfied?”

“Some men don't like that,” Angeal said.

“And you know how I feel about forcing gendered terminology where it has no business being,” Genesis replied. 

“Why was it important that he accept it as a compliment?” Angeal pressed.

“Well, he's dating Zack, who is hypothetically also dating us,” Genesis told him. “He'll be around.”

“Hypothetically?” Angeal asked.

“We've had four dinners, gone to a party and sparred,” Genesis said. “At this point, I'm inclined to say we're dating. Dating like a thirteen year old, perhaps, but dating nonetheless.”

Angeal looked confused, “When did you spar?”

“On Saturday,” Genesis clarified.

“Didn't they have their date on Saturday?” Angeal asked.

“Yes,” Genesis said. “Your little puppy was a bundle of nerves. I was only trying to help him run some of them out.”

“That doesn't explain why you let Cloud use Rapier,” Sephiroth asked.

“You let him use your sword?” Angeal shifted to look at him, obvious surprise written all over his face. 

“I had to know if Zack was exaggerating or not,” Genesis leaned to look at Sephiroth. “You saw the same thing I did. He has good instincts, he put up quite the fight and had absolutely no qualms about sending Zack flying when he got cocky. There's a spark there.”

“He did last longer than I expected,” Sephiroth admitted. “He did well for someone unenhanced.”

If Sephiroth was willing to compliment him, then he liked him at least well enough to care about what he said. That was a start.

“If you like him that much, you need to tell Zack that. “ Angeal said, firmly. “They're dating, it would dishonest not to.”

“He already knows,” Genesis said, dismissively.

“He may know, but have you discussed it?” Angeal asked. “Explained that you're flirting because you like him, not because you're trying to get under Zack's skin?”

“Not everything is about Zack Fair,” Genesis snapped.

“Not everything,” Angeal said, grasping his hand hard. “But this is.”

It was hard to argue that, but damned if he didn't want to.

“I don't know what 'this' is yet.” Genesis admitted, quietly. 

“Unless you want this to take the better part of a year too, go talk to Zack. Be open with him and he'll be open in return.” Angeal said. 

“Fine,” Genesis huffed. 

“A year?” Sephiroth asked.

“You didn't notice how moody he was being?” Angeal asked in return. "Stomping about like he was frustrated and ready to make that everyone else's problem?"

“I didn't notice a difference,” Sephiroth said.

It took every ounce of self control not to throw one of the cushions at him right in his smug face.

Angeal chuckled, “Go now, we both need to wash up and I'll put on some breakfast.”

“Have you slept yet?” Sephiroth asked, which...given that he looked like he had been back for at least an hour or so, was an appropriate question.

“Have you?” Angeal countered.

“Enough,” which was code for no, but I can function on less and they all knew it.

“We'll see how you feel after a shower and breakfast,” Angeal replied. "Come with me."

If anyone could bully him into taking a nap, it would be Angeal.

Outside of Zack Fair's door, Genesis refused to feel nervous. He had nothing to be nervous about and if he could repeat that to himself a few more times, perhaps he could believe it. When had he started putting emphasis on Zack Fair's opinions? At what point in all of this had he grown _attached_? Pride is lost. Wings stripped away. The indignity of caring was a terrible face to befall someone as young as he was.

The only satisfying thing about it was that Zack looked surprised to see him when he opened the door. He recovered quickly enough, smiling brightly. “Hi!”

Genesis was somewhat surprised to find him dressed and peppy at this hour. “Do you have a prior engagement?”

Zack blinked at him a couple of times, “What?” he said, stepping back so Genesis could enter the place. It still looked like Shinra had decorated it, which meant there was still time to get rid of those atrocious kitchen chairs. “Oh, no, I'm just trying to get used to not feeling sleepy by going for a run or doing some squats, Better to be doing something instead of just lying in bed like a lump, right?”

Genesis couldn't deny it was working for him. Even if mako was responsible for a good deal of his physical fitness, it would be pointless not to appreciate that if you could ignore his hair, he was well defined. 

Zack looked at him askance, “Did you just check me out?”

“Surely you haven't gone this long without being aware that you're attractive,” Genesis told him, bluntly. No point in denying it, considering the state their relative relationships were in.

“No, but you don't hit on me,” Zack said. “That might be the first nice thing you've said to me.”

That couldn't possibly be true. Of course he could be sharp and playful, but he rarely outright insulted anyone who didn't utterly deserve his disdain. 

“You laugh it off when you're hit on,” Genesis told him. 

“Yeah, cause I'm nervous!” True to his word, Zack laughed and yes, if he listened, it did seem almost forced. “I know I came in and threw a big part of your life up in the air and I get why you might not like me for that.”

“ _That's_ what you think the problem is?” Genesis struggled against the urge to roll his eyes at him. “Good goddess, and people think I'm conceited. Did you really think I was worried that you would walk in with Angeal and wreak havoc? I have loved that man for half our lives, I'm not worried about the security of our relationship.”

Zack scratched the back of his neck absently, “Then what's up with you?”

Genesis sighed as loud as he could. “I have two very strong, very capable lovers who are in varying degrees trying to open their heart to you and you're dilly-dallying about it! You may pose little threat to my relationship, but you do pose a threat to their emotional wellbeing and I can't abide watching them get hurt because you wouldn't make a decision one way or another as to what you wanted.”

There was a moment where Zack just looked at him. “I know what I want, okay? I just didn't know if I could have it.”

A fact that Genesis had been aware of since he'd overheard the puppy's anxious confession in the bathroom. Perhaps that had been the moment he had decided to cut him a little extra slack, as dealing with multiple feelings could be a difficult territory to navigate.

“What are you still unclear on?” Genesis asked. “We have made it clear you're wanted and Cloud, for his part, looks at you like you hung the stars just for him.”

“No, he doesn't,” Zack said, suddenly very interested in looking at his own boots.

“Yes,” Genesis said plainly. “He does. You're being offered everything you want, you just have to learn not to laugh and play it off. Say 'yes' instead.”

Zack didn't look up for a long moment, but then his body language changed. His shoulders went back and he looked up, sounding more serious than he expected him to. “Yes.”

“Good puppy,” Genesis told him. “And they say you can't teach an old dog a new trick.”

Zack laughed, a little more genuine this time. “Are you ever just going to call by name?”

“I'm saving it for the right moment,” Genesis decided. “Preferably when you're arching up and screaming.”

“I'm uh,” Zack swallowed audibly. “I'm not much of a screamer.”

“You are,” Genesis told him. He took the back of his finger and ran it over the soldier issued top, pressing into his skin as he drew down towards the stomach guard. It was pleasantly gratifying to feel Zack's breathing speed up as he watched his finger. “You just haven't met the right people to make you yet.”

“I don't know if I should be afraid or turned on,” Zack said.

“A little bit of one enhances the other,” Genesis shrugged, letting his hand drop. “At least for me.”

“Wow, you're kind of a huge tease,” Zack accused.

“No, darling.” Genesis smirked at him. “A tease doesn't follow through. I do.”

“Fuck,” Zack said, eloquent as ever.

“That's the idea, yes.” Genesis said. It wasn't like they were inviting him to play board games. 

“I gotta,” Another brush of his hand through his hair, perhaps a nervous tic, then. “I should talk to Cloud about it, we've only gone out once and I swear he'll just assume I'm trying to ditch him.”

Curiosity got the better of him. “Has he always been that way?” Genesis asked.

“ Kind of. I only met him last August,” Zack admitted. “It just feels like longer because we spend so much time together.”

“He certainly has a way of getting under your skin,” Genesis agreed.

“Yeah, about that,” Zack said. “Can you stop messing with him? He gets enough of that with the guys he works with day in and day out. He doesn't need it from you.”

“Define messing with him,” Genesis asked, filing away the information that the backlash Cloud was experiencing was the norm and not on occasion. That certainly explained some of his reaction a little better.

“You know, flirting without meaning anything by it,” Zack said. “I heard you in the hall with him.”

“Would it make a difference if I meant something by it?” Genesis asked.

Zack chewed on his lip for long moment. “It would depend.”

“On?”

“What you meant by it,” Zack said, “If you just want to fuck him and drop him, then I'd say cut it out because he's had too much of that already. You'd hurt him. He's more than a pretty mouth to fuck and I don't want him getting hurt anymore than you want Angeal and Sephiroth to.”

That was understandable. Fair, even, he thought with some amusement. 

“I don't fully know what I'm feeling yet,” Genesis said, nodding slowly. “I can say with certainty that I have no desire to 'fuck him and drop him'. He's far too interesting for that. I'm not unaware of his sensitivities, but if he's so starved for genuine romantic attention and affection that he responds by glowing from the barest touch, well. He deserves more. There is something about him that just makes me want to give him _everything_ , just to watch that. Do you understand?”

“Yeah,” Zack said, after a beat. “I know exactly what you mean.”

Excellent. “So we have an accord?” Genesis asked.

“I guess,” Zack asked. “What would this even look like?”

“I imagine not unlike what happened with you,” Genesis explained. “Invite him to dinner, and should he choose to come, see if there is anything there on a wider scale than just you and I and if so, move forward in that direction. If not, the matter can be dropped. I have no interest in forcing something on anyone they don't want.”

“You might have to figure out a way to ask that doesn't make him shoot himself in the foot,” Zack said. 

“I'm sure I'll think of something,” Genesis promised. He was already beginning to scheme and he did scheme rather well. “I'm quite creative when I put my mind to it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can now follow my random commentary on [tumblr](https://rainbowcarousels.tumblr.com/) if you like. It's mostly reblog tag commentary, but occasionally I post actual things too.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the slightly longer wait for this one! I have also updated the tags again, nothing should be too graphic but better safe than sorry.

There had been a shift in the social equilibrium of the shared time between Sephiroth and his partners. That shift's name was Zack Fair and if he had any delusions that adjustment to a new social existence was something he had left behind with his teenage years, they were long gone.

It wasn't the first time it had happened. Sephiroth had gone from a controlled environment to a war zone with SOLDIERs who didn't seem to know what to do with him even when they saw what he was capable of, but he had come to accept that he was not going to relate to most of the other people he fought with. He wasn't stupid, he understood in hindsight that having a powerful, yet inexperienced twelve year old was not easy for them to accept given that the camaraderie seemed to be based in bawdy commentary and sharing life experiences he had no familiarity with. He was different. He knew that he had always been different and if Hojo were to be taken at face value – a dangerous thing to do – he was simply designed _better_. 

It had been a largely solitary existence at base camps, but he had gotten used to that over a year and a half or so before everything had upended all over again. Demonstrating what he was capable of for an audience had been nothing new, but Angeal had been a surprise. Even as a fourteen year old Third class, he had been stronger than Sephiroth expected but also good humoured about losing and while he kept a certain respectful distance, he also took time to talk to him. He'd been waiting for the reason for this socialising to come out, people didn't really 'chat' with him so there had to be some sort of reason he was engaging in it but nothing seemed to come of it and it had left him on edge for a while. In the end, it had been Genesis to call him an idiot for thinking Angeal would treat a friend transactionally. 

At the time, he hadn't realised they were friends. 

If Angeal brought good humour to a spar and polite chatter, Genesis brought challenge and fury. It only got worse every time he lost. He took to trying to get under his skin and for the first few months they had known each other, the two had gotten into spat after spat. Spat had not even been part of his vocabulary before but something about the needling had gotten to him and brought out a part of him that was petty, competitive and wanted to retaliate. He had never been pulled up in front of the director for his behaviour before and it had been a humiliating experience. Meanwhile Genesis took it all in stride, which made the whole thing worse. It had taken until their first deployment together for them to reach something resembling friendship. Genesis had been more focused in Wutai and given an outlet for his seemingly endless amount of tumultuous emotion, he became easier to talk to. 

Sephiroth still wasn't entirely sure what had happened to cause the shift, it had been such a sudden change he suspected Angeal had lost his patience with the sniping and told him to cut it out. 

Things were static for some time after that. There had been periods after they became romantically involved where he had seen significantly less of either. He had done his best not to begrudge them their time together even if having experienced close friendships meant that to go without their time stung more than expected. He had never felt a particularly strong inclination towards romantic involvement with anyone and while he had been kissed a few times as a teenager, it was very much something which seemed to happen to him instead of something he had engaged with. 

It always brought up the memory of the first time it happened, of the waxy substance still left on his cheek when he went for his post-mission check up despite how many times he had tried to wipe it with his palm and being warned away from such behaviour. Emboldened by his newfound sense of adulthood as a SOLDIER First class with his own apartment, a door he could lock if he didn't want people to come in and a couch _and_ a bookshelf with four books that he owned on it, he had asked why. Such relationships seemed to be a source of joy for people; they built families together. He had been dismissively informed there had already been several attempts at sampled fertilisation with no living results and dissection had given no conclusive answers as to why he seemed incompatible. He had filed it away under things he would not be able to have. He had purpose instead.

As usual when he thought he knew something with certainty, it had been Genesis to throw it all out the window by asking if he'd like to go to bed. It should have been awkward, Angeal had been eating on the arm chair next to them and paused with an apple chip halfway to his mouth but he didn't object to the idea. Though both partners tended to say there was a period where they had been more casually involved, there were no strong lines between the early relationship and now so much as observable behaviours he could document. He was able to sleep around them both already, though it was often a disturbed sleep. Now he had been known to drift off unexpectedly around them, still feeling startled if someone had moved him or put a blanket on him without him noticing. There was something strangely soothing to falling asleep with his head on Angeal's lap, the way he would run his hands through his hair made his skin feel warm inside. The way they would sit up on the nights no one could sleep and watch television, Genesis would narrate the press conferences providing overwrought falsettos, personal accusations against the press team and sometimes, just the unabashed truth that the team was dancing around until he managed to make them laugh. There had been a feeling of tightness in his chest every time he'd think of them, not uncomfortable exactly but affective.

And now Zack Fair had become a staple. He seemed to have shed his initial awkwardness around them and was now a vibrant, talkative and enthusiastic attendee to most of their meals. Often he would linger to simply spend time with them, but other times, he excused himself to go see either a friend or his other boyfriend. 

Tonight was no exception.

Once the meal was over, Zack had hovered around Angeal putting away leftovers and left himself wide open to an informative if dry lecture about how to correctly store cooked meats. Sephiroth had settled in with his laptop to look over the latest sabotage reports and work on assignments. Genesis had been quieter than usual over dinner, but it could easily have been that he couldn't get a word in. Not that anyone had ever successfully stopped Genesis from talking for long. He had begun to strongly suspect that not even casting _Silence_ would work on him. Genesis had since changed into his robe, applied some sort of cream from his endless collection and laid down length ways on the sofa, eyes closed.

“Did you paint your toenails?” A glance back to kitchen island showed Zack frowning at Genesis's feet dangling from the armrest as if they held some kind of answer to one of Gaia's unsolvable mysteries. 

“Yes,” Genesis answered without so much as opening his eyes, let alone sitting up.

“Why?” Zack asked, because somehow he hadn't figured out this was never a good idea yet.

“I have a public engagement tomorrow,” Genesis told him. That shed a light on why he was preening. Genesis's public persona may only have been as real as his own, but they all knew from experience that if he found himself looking less than what he deemed perfect in the media, he tended to spiral into insecurity and belligerence. 

“You wear boots,” Zack said. “Who's going to see your toes?”

“ _I_ will see my toes!” Genesis snapped at him. That wasn't a good sign. Out of the corner of his eye, Sephiroth thought he saw Angeal's shoulders slump in anticipation. “The public should be so lucky as to see me in my suede stilettos.”

“What ones are the stilettos?” Zack asked.

“Tall, thin heels,” Sephiroth provided, hopefully cutting off a lecture about clothing knowledge before it gathered steam.

Zack looked down at his PHS, then looked up again. “Can you walk in those?” Zack asked, turning the PHS around to show a picture of said shoes.

“I can run in those,” Genesis said. “Not that I do much, I only wear them for Angeal when he needs a treat.”

“Stop that,” Angeal said, and a quick glance showed him tensed and still. “You're going to make him think I have a fetish.”

Genesis was unfazed. “You do have a fetish. Don't be so uptight.”

“I don't think you have room to talk about being highly strung right now,” Angeal muttered.

That caught his attention, Genesis pulling himself up to sit on his elbows. “Don't you start with me,” he said. “You know how long it took me to get comfortable with how I present. It requires a lot of maintenance but it makes me happy.”

“You seem it,” Angeal told him.

“You have your creature comforts and I have mine,” Genesis scoffed. 

“Weren't you at the front lines for years?” Zack asked. “How did you manage? I don't think I felt clean for months.”

“That's the point, puppy.” Genesis said. “There's always a certain amount of difficulty in readjusting to largely civilian existence. Do you not have things that comfort you for that?”

“Well, yeah,” Zack said. “I hang out with my friends a lot.”

“It's different for everyone,” Angeal added.

“Yes, for some seek isolation and others company. Some want comfy clothing that could never be mistaken for anything worn into battle and others feel more secure in their armour.” Genesis shrugged, lying back down and bumping the back of his head against Sephiroth's hip as he did so. “Sometimes it's about a good skin firming toner so I don't have to come back to my mother wailing on my voicemail that the bags under my eyes are bigger than the luggage she brought on her last vacation. You know. The little touches of home.”

“I can't see any bags,” Zack said. “You look fine.”

“Sweet,” Genesis said, indicating a hand over to Zack. “If I hadn't seen the state of your closet and written off any hope of you having any taste, that would be complimentary.”

“When did you see the inside of my closet?” Zack sounded confused.

“Did you leave him alone for more than a few minutes?” Angeal asked.

“Yeah,” Zack said.

“He's nosy,” Sephiroth chimed in, aware he had barely written a sentence while listening to the back and forth. They were all a clear and present danger to his productivity. 

“You say nosy,” Genesis said. “I say reconnaissance.”

“Stop snooping,” Angeal said.

“I don't snoop on you,” Genesis told him. “Other than to lament that you never wear the suit I got you. We need to go out more.”

“I don't want to risk ruining it,” Angeal said. “You spent an absurd amount of gil on it.”

“I've seen you in it,” Genesis said. “It's worth it. What else am I going to do with my pay? I have very little in the way of living expenses, I have the charitable donations come out before I do anything else and since my parents never want for anything and you won't let me do anything for your mother, what else is there?”

“Gen, you know Mom wouldn't take it. She has her pride,” Angeal said. “She's not a charity. ”

“I know that! I would never think that,” Genesis huffed. “Why is it acceptable from you but not me?”

“It's different,” Angeal said, lightly. “I'm her son, it's my job to take care of her.”

“It's my job to take care of you,” Genesis said. “Is that not reason enough?”

It wasn't a new argument between them. When he looked up again, Zack was shooting them nervous glances between checking his PHS. Sometimes he thought about how much Angeal worried about his mother and how the briefest interaction with his parents seemed to bring out the worst of Genesis's neuroses and wondered if perhaps not having a family was a blessing in disguise. Especially if the implication of Hojo's 'clever' hints of their relationship were in fact true. 

He tried not to think about it.

“Are you meeting Cloud tonight?” he asked, breaking the silent stalemate. He hadn't settled in as if he was staying. 

“Yeah,” Zack said. “How did you know?”

“You keep looking at your PHS,” Sephiroth replied. Two of the three times he had looked up did trend towards a pattern.

“He was supposed to text me when he got off but he was meant to be done almost an hour ago,” Zack indicated his PHS. “Usually I'd have heard from him by now.”

“Could his shift have over run?” Angeal asked, probably grateful for the shift in topic.

“Maybe,” Zack said. He didn't sound convinced. “I've sent him six texts and he's not replying.”

“Perhaps he left his PHS in his bunk,” Angeal suggested. 

Zack shook his head, “He keeps it on him in case he has to call something in.”

“He may have fallen asleep,” Genesis said. “He has been running about to keep up with you for several weeks now.”

“I don't know,” Zack said. “Maybe.”

“Why don't you go check on him?” Angeal said. “It'll set your mind at ease.”

“You don't think that's kind of creepy?” Zack asked. “It's only been an hour.”

Genesis piped up. “If he hasn't run yet from you jumping and slobbering all over him, I don't think checking up on him will do it.” 

Zack smiled at him, “I guess I could go check if he just crashed. Maybe he went to the gym, we were planning to go.”

“I will look in the gym if you wish,” Sephiroth offered. Until Genesis got into the bath with one of his less treasured copies of Loveless and Angeal began tending to his plants, he doubted he would get any of his work done.

“You don't mind?” Zack asked.

“No,” Sephiroth said. “I'll walk down with you.”

The last thing he'd been expecting was Zack to launch himself at him and wrap his arms around his shoulders like a snake trying to constrict a prey animal to death, but whatever expression he must have had broke what was left of the tension. Genesis fell off the couch laughing and Angeal muttered something about Zack needing to warn people before attacking people, even if it was done affectionately. 

The large hall had been empty. Not unusual after hours, but the lights were still on. Perhaps Cloud had simply checked inside then gone upstairs, but this would not explain why he wasn't answering his PHS nor why he hadn't simply come to the door to find Zack.

A loud fanfare echoed as Sephiroth exited to the doors. After a moment, he realised the noise had come from one of the bagged trash receptacles on the other side of the corridor. Wishing he'd had the forethought to put his gloves on with his coat – neither were appropriate at the dinner table according to Angeal's Rules for Dining and he had only placed his coat on again to leave – he dug his hand in and felt around until he felt something that felt like a solid piece of plastic and pulled it up. 

It was a PHS with a small crack across the screen. The battery was almost dead but the lock screen gave it away – a picture obviously attempted by Zack of him squashing his chin into Cloud's spikes, forcing half of his chin out of the picture. 

If the PHS was here, it was likely Cloud had also been here. Sephiroth glanced around the corridor – a few work stations that weren't manned, the gym he had already checked and the communal showers. Sephiroth walked into the showers, making no effort to increase his stealth and waited. There were no actively running showers, but if he stopped to listen, he could hear breathing that was far too rapid for his liking.

“Cloud?” Come to think of it, he had never asked if that was first or surname. Given Zack's liberal use of it and his general disregard for protocol, likely first. 

There was a beat of silence.

“No.”

It would have been more convincing If he hadn't heard him speak several times and knew that it was indeed Cloud's voice. “I think there may be a flaw in your logic,” Sephiroth said, striding around to where he could still hear the breathing.

“Don't come over here!”

Sephiroth stopped, hesitant but now more concerned. “Why?”

“No reason!” said the disembodied voice of the trooper. “All good.”

Which he knew from experience meant the opposite. It wasn't uncommon to hide injuries, he knew from experience Angeal in particular had to be bullied into going for help, but it also stood to reason that a trooper involved in some sort of brawling would also fear reprisal.

“I'm not here to report you,” he said, as evenly as he could. “I came because Zack was concerned.”

The trooper swore. “What time is it?”

Sephiroth estimated, “Twenty-one hundred.” It wouldn't have taken him more than fifteen minutes to get down here and check.

Cloud groaned. 

“If you're injured, you shouldn't linger in here,” Sephiroth tried again.

“I'm not injured,” Cloud replied.

Sephiroth was skeptical. “Then why do you insist on me not speaking to you instead of the tip of your hair?”

“Because I'm....” There was a long outlet of breath. “I'm not wearing any clothes.”

“Most people don't shower with their clothes on,” Sephiroth reasoned. “That doesn't explain why I found your PHS buried in the trash outside.”

Another long exhale. “Are the desks still manned?”

“No, they appear to have retired and no one has replaced them,” Sephiroth asked. “Where are your clothes?”

“Wish I knew.” There was a sound of something, almost like tapping against the shower stall. 

There had been no infantry uniform or helmet that he had seen in the trash nor outside the rooms. “Would you like a towel?” Sephiroth asked. 

“There isn't any,” and sure enough, when Sephiroth checked where there would usually be a store, they were empty.

“Ah,” he said, understanding the problem. If he were to leave, he would be at minimum one floor away from obtaining something to wear and many people were self conscious of their own nudity. “This is some sort of practical joke?”

“I know I'm sore from laughing,” the trooper deadpanned.

There was nothing else for it. “Raise your hand,” Sephiroth said. While he was fairly sure it was his hair he could see the tip of, it was better to be certain.

“Why?”

Sephiroth pulled the pauldrons from his coat as he wasn't sure what exactly he would find comfortable in terms of their weight. “I'm starting to see why someone took your clothes,” he told him. 

“Pretty sure that was to do with telling them they could Heideggers dick for the rest of their lives if they wanted but it's not for me,” came the reply, but true to his word, he did raise his hand. 

Sephiroth placed his coat into it. “You can put that on and come out.”

There was a moment of silence. “That's your coat,” Cloud said.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“I can't wear this!” Cloud declared.

“I realise it won't fit you well,” An understatement. “It will do until Zack can fetch you something appropriate.” 

There was a continued silence, but sure enough, there was the rustle of movement and Cloud appeared around the corner of the stalls, pink faced and draped in the coat. His hair was still damp and stuck to his forehead and the bottom of the coat dragged when he walked, wrapped around him like a large leather dress or gown than a coat.

“It's more comfortable than it looks,” he mumbled into his chest.

“Yes,” Sephiroth agreed.

“What about you?” Cloud asked.

Sephiroth looked down at himself. “There are several posters of me without my coat,” he said. “I doubt anyone will blink an eye at it.”

However, once out into the corridor, it seemed the night appointees had taken their places at the stations and were staring as if he had walked out with a golden chocabo instead of an infantryman. He watched as the trooper steeled himself and walked past regardless, but this would be a recurring theme if they took the elevators until they swapped over on the SOLDIER floors.

“With me,” Sephiroth said, putting a hand on his back to direct him through two sets of doors that required his card to swipe them. “It will take longer to walk but it will be quieter.”

Cloud ducked his head, “Thanks.”

The walk up was excruciatingly slow. Between maintaining his pace behind Cloud and making sure he didn't speed up so much he tripped over the coat and broke his neck, it was much more difficult to slow down than he anticipated.

“You don't seem shaken up,” he said, if only to say something. 

“It's happened before,” Cloud admitted. “Usually I wouldn't care about just walking out, but I was trying to figure out how to get wallet back. It has the key cards you and Zack gave me in it but I couldn't figure it out without running down to the crowded floors.”

This would mean both the floor and Zack's apartment key cards would need to be rescrambled. “Do you always recommend that they felate the head of public security?”

“No,” Cloud said. “Sometimes I vary the position.”

Sephiroth chuckled, “Why Heidegger?”

“It's an army thing,” Cloud answered. When Sephiroth didn't respond, he carried on. “I keep trying out for SOLDIER so some squaddies think that I'm stuck up or that I think I'm better than them because I don't want to stay in the army. Some SOLDIERs think that the army is just canon fodder and treats us like it so I get it and I leave it alone if that's all it is, but I got seen with Zack and....you can figure it out from there.”

Sephiroth understood that. He could tolerate many things thrown at himself, but he was unwavering with his partners. The press thankfully put the emphasis on their bonds of friendship, but there had been a few close calls on their romantic relationship becoming public knowledge and the idea of having strangers go over that part of his life filled him with anger and dread.

“Zack does make discretion difficult,” Sephiroth agreed. He was effusive and affectionate, even with friends.

“I'm not complaining about him,” Cloud said. “He's my best friend. He's the first real friend I've had since I was a kid. I'm not going to listen to people start on him just because he's with me. I'm not letting people drag his reputation or insinuate shit.“

Again, something he understood all too well. He had been close with only a handful of people in his life; only two that were still alive. He had taken steps to protect them before and he would do so again, if the need arose. He had promised himself a long time ago that they were _his_ and no one was going to change that or take them away.

When they reached the floor with the appropriate elevator, Sephiroth walked them both out and picked up the pace. There were a few gawkers, but he had little time for them. Once they were safely in the elevator, he pulled out his PHS and texted Zack that Cloud had his clothes and key cards taken and would require replacements from either his locker or if he didn't have it, they would go down to requisitions in the morning and sort the mess out then.

**ZFAIR** : _Ill goto his lokcer thx for fnding him_  
  
It took a prompting push to the back to bring Cloud into Genesis's apartment, but he wasn't about to let him stand barefoot in the corridor awaiting Zack's return. They could find him something temporary until then. Thankfully, it was quieter inside now. Angeal had probably gone to feed and water his plants and by the sounds of water moving, Genesis had retired into his bath.

Sephiroth maneuvered him into the bedroom, looking through Genesis's bulging closet for something to fit. Most of it was out of the question, it was occasion-wear or fitted, he did find one of his older SOLDIER uniforms at the back. It may even have been the first uniform he had as a First Class almost ten years ago, it looked as if it had taken some wear and tear but perhaps he had kept it for sentimental reasons. The same reason the mass-produced copy of Loveless he had found as a child, dog-eared and annotated from years of use, still had pride of place of his nightstand. 

“I don't think I should use someone's clothes without their say so,” Cloud said, breaking the silence.

“He hasn't worn this in many years,” Sephiroth decided, looking at the length of the trousers. He may not have grown much taller since then, but he had a little. They would work for Cloud. He discarded his stomach guard in quick measure and slid on the same hooded sweatshirt he had worn at dinner – Angeals, but he said he didn't mind – and made to leave. “I'll give you some privacy.”

Sephiroth pulled the door over, leaving him alone in the bedroom. It went against every urge, he still felt too much like a stranger to be left alone in there but he had promised Zack he would try and he was finding out that Zack, much like his mentor, inspired people to keep their promises. So to occupy his mind, he checked his PHS, but there was nothing further from Zack. He opened the laptop and filled out the form to have the key cards changed, then made coffee. By the time he was pouring it, Angeal had let himself back in.

“Any luck?” Angeal asked.

Sephiroth nodded. It had been at least fifteen minutes, but Cloud had not emerged from the door. He walked over to it, rapping twice in quick succession to warn him if he was still somehow in a state of undress before opening it up. 

He found Cloud sitting on the edge of Genesis's bed, staring into the full length wooden mirror at himself with his finger tips grazing the glass. The clothes seemed a good enough fit, if a little misshapen at the arms and neck. He had nothing to be self conscious about; he looked well.

“Cloud?” Angeal's voice seemed to break the spell, Cloud blinking several times before standing up.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Come wait for Zack out here,” Angeal said, patting the couch before sitting down on it himself. “I'm sure he won't be long.”

With one last look at the mirror, Cloud nodded and swallowed audibly. “Yeah,” he said, picking up Sephiroth's coat and handing it to him. “Thank you.”

Sephiroth nodded; he had the feeling he was missing something significant in the way he looked at him, but he couldn't seem to puzzle it out. If it didn't come to him, he could ask later.

Sephiroth merely said, “You're welcome.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, another small tag update! Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, kudos and subscribe. You are the best!

_You don't belong here._

The words tumbled around Cloud's mind with deafening clarity. This was not his life. Zack wasn't even here for him to try to justify that he was still here, but Commander – no, Angeal, had asked him to remain to wait for him so that's what he was doing. Sitting in an apartment that wasn't his, with boyfriends that weren't his, in clothes that weren't his and unable to focus on anything other than that this shit always seemed to happen when he couldn't keep his mouth shut. 

Not that he regretted it, he'd suffer a million more humiliating walks of shame through the lobby if it meant Zack didn't get shit talked about. Zack had far too much honour to ever even consider treating him in a preferential way, even if they were dating. The thought made him feel angry all over again, his pulse hurting his throat and his ears pounding so hard that he was getting a headache. Zack had trusted him with his private home keycard and both he and his boyfriends had trusted him with access to their floor and he had repaid it by losing it all in less than a month. How could they stand to even look at him?

It took a long beat for Cloud to realise that Angeal had been speaking to him. The thrum of his heart and deafening thoughts (' _you don't belong here_ ') made it hard to concentrate on his surroundings, but it was no excuse. They had opened their home to him when he was in trouble and how did he repay them? By ignoring their attempts at talking to him. With a nauseated lurch, he thought that if his mother ever found out how rude he'd been, she would be so ashamed that he would never hear the end of it.

Giving his head a shake in a last ditch attempt to force his consciousness back online, Cloud finally took in his surroundings; from the glass of water on the table that he was almost sure he had been handed at one point or that he had at least said thank you for to the two people who were sitting with him. It struck him distantly that this may be the first time he had seen either out of uniform. At least, not while clothed. The casual demeanor and dress made it obvious he was intruding on their private time together. Zack had emphasized how intense they were about their privacy and here he was sitting with his mouth like a dead fish, barefoot and wondering how he was ever going to apologise enough for betraying their trust and losing that card.

“Cloud,” his name cut through the mental fog that was his increasing heart rate. “Can you breathe with me?”

Of all of the things he'd been expecting the commander to say, it hadn't been _that_. A little confused by the request, Cloud nodded.

“In, one, two, hold, one two, out, one two, three.” Angeal repeated himself, while Cloud tried to follow the instructions. It took a few tries, but it went on longer and longer until he realised his extremities felt almost numb from where he must have been clenching. “Your heart rate spiked. Are you sure you're alright?”

“I'm fine,” Cloud said, more automatically than really thinking about it. 

“And you don't want to file a report,” Angeal said.

“No,” All he would hear about tomorrow was walking up there wet, barefoot and wearing Sephiroth's coat. The last thing he needed to do was a file a report and have to deal with all of that too. “I'm fine, really.”

Angeal reached for the glass, handing it to him. “Take a drink.”

Cloud took a sip, but he coughed and sputtered with a grimace as he felt the droplets hit his toes. On top of everything else, he had just coughed over what looked like a pretty expensive rug from how soft it felt on his toes. Though one was half tucked beneath him, Sephiroth had also removed his boots at some point. Or had he even been wearing them?

“Were you wearing boots?” Cloud blurted out before his brain could swallow down the words in a fit of common sense. 

Sephiroth blinked twice in succession, “I was, but wet boots on his couch cushions will result in a Genesis lecture.”

The idea of Genesis – damn it, trying to keep straight what he was supposed to use to address everyone was hard, was he allowed to just call him that – giving anyone a lecture sounded ridiculous. “He can lecture?”

“There is no activity that involves hearing the sound of his own voice that Genesis dislikes,” Sephiroth said.

The candidness of the comment startled a laugh out of him. “I noticed that,” Cloud said. Then he thought about it, and realised it probably wasn't the nicest thing to say about someone's boyfriend. “That was rude, sorry.”

“It was merely honest,” Sephiroth said. It didn't seem to bother him, but he was impossible to read. 

“Not entirely,” Angeal said, mildly. “He hates doing the introductory lectures. Says it makes him feel old from how much they've changed since we joined.”

“Did it change that much?” Cloud tried to remember a time before they were featured in the second hand news, but he had to have been a kid then. 

“Since we sat our introductories?” Angeal asked, before answering himself. “The intake dates have varied a little, but it'll be....well, twelve years next month. Now I feel old too.”

Then he would have been six or seven at the time, so it wasn't that big of a surprise. While most of childhood had focused on Sephiroth and Sephiroth alone – 

“Weren't you already a First Class by then?” Cloud asked, trying to count the dates back. While his official age had never been released, the media (and silver elite of which he was no longer a card carrying member without his wallet but a member nonetheless) said he was roughly twenty-five. If he had been a First Class twelve years ago, he would have been thirteen and while Shinra had been known to fudge the paperwork between thirteen and fourteen to allow entrance, had he just entered at First Class? Somewhere in the back of his mind, he thought he remembered seeing pictures of Sephiroth in Zack's uniform when he was young, but maybe he imagined it.

“I received the promotion to First that year,” Sephiroth said. “During my fourth tour of combat.” 

Cloud tried to add that up. Combat tours could differ in lengths but even then, doing four of them by thirteen had to mean –

“You were young,” he said, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice. At thirteen, he would have considered a twelve year old SOLDIER to be incredibly cool. At six, even more so. At eighteen, it made him feel a little uncomfortable even if he couldn't say why.

“As far as I know,” Sephiroth said.

“You don't remember?” Cloud asked.

“I remember,” Sephiroth replied. “I'm unclear on my exact age, but we looked of a similar age when Angeal was fourteen so thirteen to fifteen is my estimate.”

“You had a little more baby face than we did,” Angeal said, quietly. “I think thirteen is more accurate.”

Shit. That sounded...personal. “You don't know?” 

“Most of my personnel records are redacted and above my clearance level,” Sephiroth replied. 

“I thought you had the highest clearance level,” Cloud said.

“In SOLDIER, yes.” Sephiroth replied. “Not in the company.”

“Then that's bullshit,” Cloud blurted out. 

Sephiroth merely raised his eyebrows in response, “It's just a number. Why does it matter?”

“Knowing that someone else clearly knows the answer doesn't matter? it wouldn't be redacted if no one knew, it would just be missing.” Cloud asked, worrying the fabric of the pants with his palm. It wasn't his business. It _wasn't_ – “What gives them the right to decide that?”

“The nature of working for the company means sometimes accepting you don't always have all of the information,” Angeal said gently.

“On missions,” Cloud said. “Not personal stuff.”

“You said you had trouble deciphering what your test results were.” Sephiroth said. “Which means Shinra have medical information about you, does that bother you?”

“What mako might do to me is not the same as a birth date,” Cloud said. If he thought about it, it did bother him more now than it had when he'd been a fresh faced recruit but it wasn't the same.

“It's of more consequence than a birth date, my birth date doesn't impact my health.” Sephiroth replied.

“It will if you get to an age where you're at risk of some kind of disease or something,” Cloud told him.

“I have medical evaluations before and after all missions and when required.” Sephiroth said. “I'm in good health and if I wasn't, it would be picked up on and rectified quickly.”

Cloud had a sinking feeling he wouldn't win this one. “You're going to have an answer for everything I come up with, aren't you?”

“I usually do,” Sephiroth said. “But anything's possible.”

“Has anyone ever told you you're kind of smug?” Cloud said, the realisation hitting his mind and his mouth at the same time without time to edit.

“Yes.” Sephiroth replied. “Does it bother you?

“Not really,” Cloud admitted. “It's just so –“

“ – humanising?” Sephiroth asked.

“Normal,” Cloud said, casting his eyes down to his feet. “Something a lot of people are. Zack's victory dances when he's right about something I'm wrong about have scarred me for life.”

Beside him, he heard Angeal chuckle. “They are elaborate.”

“I didn't think anyone actually did dance to a victory,” Sephiroth said, and when he looked around, his face was scrunched up as if he couldn't quite figure out how someone did a victory dance. 

“Play _Doorway 2_ with him,” Cloud said, thinking to how Zack had whooped and bounced all over the couch, clambering over both of them till he had fallen on him laughing. “He loses his mind every time he wins.”

“I don't play video games,” Sephiroth said. “If you wanted to play them in our company, that would also work.”

“You don't have to do that,” Cloud said. They had already indulged him by sitting here and talking to him instead of getting on with their night. 

“Play video games?” Sephiroth asked. “What a relief.”

“Offer to hang out with me. I get it. Zack has so little free time and it's great of him to help me but now I'm monopolising more of that time.” Even if it all ended up for nothing, even if it felt like he was losing him piece by piece, he couldn't force himself on them. “You don't have to go out of your way to deal with me.”

“Is that what you think we're doing?” Angeal asked. 

“Isn't it?” Cloud asked.

“Of course not,” Angeal told him.

“A little,” Sephiroth said. Cloud caught the tail end of a glare from the commander. “If you weren't involved with Zack in some capacity, we wouldn't have met and you wouldn't be here, but you did and we are. Do you want to leave?”

_No!_

Even if he didn't belong here, he was being invited to stay for a while and the idea of having to leave made him feel a fresh wave of anxiety. Not trusting himself to open his mouth, he just shook his head.

“Try to relax,” Angeal said, his hand coming to rest on Cloud's shoulder, firm and warm on his skin. “This isn't an evaluation.”

“Are you sure about that?” If it was an evaluation of some kind, Cloud was definitely failing it for lack of proper clothes, answering back and being on the edge of a panic attack.

“Why would we do that?” Angeal asked.

“To judge, maybe.” Cloud said, willing himself to calm down. There was no point in hiding from it. “We're dating the same person, it's hard not to feel like I'm being sized up and coming up short.”

“Zack is the only person who can decide whether or not you're suited to each other,” Sephiroth told him.

“You seemed more than ready to dismiss me as just lucky in the training rooms,” Cloud said.

Sephiroth looked at him for a long moment, “You weren't present for that conversation.”

“I was,” Cloud willed himself to shrug. “I just didn't want to interrupt.”

“How much earlier?” Sephiroth asked.

Cloud had tried not to think about the three Firsts speculating on his own worthiness to be a SOLDIER, but he hadn't been able to get it out of his mind. Reckless. Lucky. Something had to be wrong with him. Even Zack had treated him like he was weak, going through the moves of a spar slowly as if he was still a fourteen year old with no experience.

“Does it matter?” he asked.

“It matters to me,” Sephiroth pressed.

Cloud couldn't imagine why. “Why?”

“I didn't hear you until moments before Genesis indicated your arrival,” Sephiroth said. “I want to know how long you were there.”

Cloud worried the inside of his cheek. “Since you said making it to the end of my contract without dying wasn't that impressive.”

“You were quick,” Sephiroth said.

“I was in the elevator when I got the text,” Cloud said, because what was he supposed to say to that? Yeah, he was pretty fast, Zack had even said so. It wasn't like they were quiet either. Voices carry. 

There was another moment of silence, but it felt – different. Sephiroth was looking him over again with a similar scrutiny as he had when he had first sat down and Cloud had no idea what to make of it. He forced himself to stay still under his gaze. 

Eventually, all Sephiroth said was, “Interesting.”

The snort from his other side almost made him jump. Cloud looked to Angeal, finding him not looking at him but at Sephiroth and shaking his head. “Here we go,” he said.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Sephiroth said.

“Of course not,” Angeal said, turning his attention to Cloud. “Do you realise we're also a little nervous? Zack thinks highly of you and your opinion matters to him. If we can't be in the same room, it's going to cause issues and I know I don't want to contribute to your distress if I make you uncomfortable.”

“You don't!” Cloud said, sighing so deeply that it felt like an emotion all of it's own. “I just don't understand how you're just...okay with me.”

“Are you not okay with us?” Angeal asked.

“That's different. I knew what I was getting into, but I just came along and –“ Cloud pursed his lips in frustration. “You didn't ask for this.”

“No, but that's one of the joys of life – good surprises.” Angeal's hand on his arm tightening a little, pressing into his skin then releasing. “It doesn't matter what came first. Zack isn't a leftover pizza slice, no one has dibs on him.”

“I think we must be talking about a different Zack if you ever have pizza leftovers around him,” Cloud said.

It had the desired effect; Angeal laughed. “Zack may have many friends but he feels strongly about few people. I may not know you very well, but I'd like to.”

Cloud didn't know what to say to that. Glancing back at Sephiroth and yep, he was still staring and it was a little unnerving. “You sure?” Cloud asked. “I'm not that easy to get on with.”

“Luckily I have some experience in that area,” Angeal told him.

Cloud huffed a laugh at that. “I'm not that interesting either.”

“Didn't I tell you to stop pretending you weren't special?”The were was the sound of a door opening and Commander Rhapsodos – Genesis – Man Who Takes Liar Liar Pants On Fire Too Literally or whatever he wanted to be called walked in a knee length deep red robe with his hair still wet. “I don't like to repeat myself.”

Cloud couldn't contain his snort at that. “You walk around saying the same poem over and over!”

“That's reciting, not repeating,” Rhapsodos told him, giving a flourish of his hand as he flopped down on the couch by Sephiroth.

“How long were you waiting on the other side of the door to make a dramatic opening statement?” Sephiroth asked him.

“Long enough for you to play dress up,” Rhapsodos indicated his clothes. “Are those mine?”

“I can take them off,” Cloud said, instantly feeling self conscious again about the borrowed uniform.

“As much fun as that sounds,” Genesis said, apparently not even bothering to tone down the flirtations here. “It was a question, not an accusation.”

“I got my clothes taken in the shower,” Cloud admitted, miserably. “I lost the keycards, I'm sorry.”

“I put the work order in,” Sephiroth added. “It will be fixed by morning.”

“That's utterly juvenile,” Genesis scoffed. “Who takes someone's clothes? More to the point, who would want to take an infantry uniform? People usually can't get out of them fast enough.”

“They were pissed at me,” Cloud said, before he continued hesitantly. “That the only reason I like SOLDIER is because I'm blowing one, I told them it beat sucking down Heidegger for the rest of my life.”

There was a collective sit back, with Genesis grimacing. “There are sex workers in Wall market that don't get paid enough to willingly do that, let alone the infantry wage.”

“Clearly I'm in the wrong line of work,” Cloud replied.

Zack burst into the room with such a commotion that everyone turned to look at him. “Look what I found!” He held his hands up into a V pose, holding – 

“Is that my wallet?” 

In one hand, Zack had what looked a lot like his wallet and in the other, he had bundled up clothes. He was beaming and did a little jump as he ran up to the couch, crouching down over it so he could hand it to Cloud. “Yep!”

“How –“ Cloud said, looking through it. 

“I shook a few folks down,” Zack said, “Made 'em sing like canaries.”

There was a loud snort behind him and when Cloud glanced, he saw Genesis half hiding his face in Sephiroth's shoulder. Even Sephiroth looked as if he was trying to suppress a smile.

“Hey, I can be scary!” Zack insisted, dropping Cloud's clothes on the back of the couch so he could do some kind of rolling mock punches with his hands.

The image was ridiculous enough that Cloud burst out laughing, which in turn seemed to start Zack off laughing. “Okay,” Zack admitted. “I just asked Kunsel – don't look at me like that, I'm telling you, that guy knows everything!”

“Does he know who took them?” Angeal asked.

“Nah,” Zack shook his head. “That's the weird thing. Normally when guys are ragging on each other, it's easy to track down but when he went to look into it, he said things had been wiped.”

“That requires a higher clearance level than they should have,” Angeal said. “Unless they were able to obtain the codes for today by some other means.”

“He'll look into it,” Zack said.

Cloud shook his head, “He doesn't have to.”

“You know Kunsel,” Zack replied, letting his head loll to one side. “He loves a mystery.”

“Maybe you should ask _him_ when your birthday is,” Cloud said, glancing at Sephiroth.

Sephiroth smiled at him. Actually full on smiled and it was – it just was _something_. “Maybe.”

“You don't know when your birthday is?” Zack asked.

“I was raised in the company,” Sephiroth replied. “It's never been a priority.”

“Then how do you know when to have a cake?” Zack asked. “Do you just pick a day?”

“Angeal brings cakes as a dessert occasionally,” Sephiroth told him.

“Yeah, but do you light candles on it?” Zack pressed. 

“We have enough fire hazards on this floor without adding another,” Sephiroth said. 

“What about your birthday wish?” Zack asked. “You have to make a wish and blow out the candles or else it won't come true.”

“I regret to inform you that I don't believe in wishes,” Sephiroth told him.

It was endearing to watch Zack get so worked up over 'birthday wishes' but Cloud took his clothes from the back of the chair. It wasn't anything fancy, just slacks and a t-shirt that Zack had gotten him the last time he'd had a mission in Costa del Sol that had a picture of a beach ball wearing sunglasses with ' _I had a ball in Costa del Sol!_ ' written below it. It was by far the stupidest thing he owned, but Zack loved it and sometimes it was just worth it. 

“I'm going to get changed,” Cloud said, moving away from Zack and moving into the bedroom to strip out of from the SOLDIER uniform. 

From the corner of his eye, Cloud caught sight of himself again and forced himself to look away. Even if by some miracle he made it into the progamme, the idea of ever reaching First Class was laughable. Hardly anyone ever made it that far. He looked like a kid playing dress up. He pulled the top off harder than he should have, instantly feeling bad. These weren't his clothes. He needed to be more grateful, not spiral into his own bitterness over just never being good enough.

Another knock broke him from his thoughts. Had he waited too long again? “I'm dressed,” he said, not entirely surprised to see Genesis come in since he was the only other person not dressed and this was _his_ bedroom. 

Shutting the door was a surprise, as was wrapping the robe around himself and sitting down. “A moment of your time?” Genesis asked.

Cloud nodded, but he watched as Genesis took in the t-shirt. “Zack got it for me,” he explained.

“I can tell,” Genesis said. “Did you see Angeal in the apron he bought for him?”

If he had been wearing it, Cloud hadn't noticed so he shook his head.

“It has a watering can and proclaims that he gets so excited about gardening than he wets his plants,” Genesis replied.

Whether it was the stupid joke of it, the idea of Angeal wearing it or the utter lack of any attempt at comedic delivery in the way Genesis said it, Cloud laughed.

Genesis shook his head, but he also looked – pleased? “You'll encourage him.”

There were worse things. “It makes him happy.”

“What makes you happy?” The question seemed to come out of no where. Cloud followed Genesis's eye line, where the commander was running his hand over the discarded top on the bed and poking his fingers through a break in the fabric. “This?”

Cloud let his mouth drop open. SOLDIER was part of it; as much as he was anticipating failing again, there was a possibility however remote that he wouldn't and the idea felt like a balloon losing air in his chest. Would it make him happy? Zack made him happy, even if it was tangled with guilt and worry about what would happen to them. It had been a mantra for so long, that he would be a SOLDIER and then...he wasn't. It's not as if he could say that, was it?

“Do you not know the answer?” Genesis asked, his voice low. “Or perhaps you're trying to formulate an answer you think I'll find satisfactory.”

Cloud huffed, “Do you find anything satisfactory?”

“I find you to be more than satisfactory,” Genesis said.

Not this again. “What are you doing?” 

“Attempting to get you to take a compliment,” Genesis told him. “Badly, it seems.” 

“Harmless flirting is one thing, but I'm not...” Cloud swallowed the words down. “I don't want to make Zack uncomfortable, okay?”

“No, I agree.” Genesis nodded. “Communication is very important for this sort of thing.”

“What sort of thing?” Cloud asked. 

“Have I been unclear in some way?” Genesis asked. “Ah, let me be blunt, then. I'm interested in you, both on a physical level which is not particularly unusual, but on a personal one, which is. I was under the impression at least part of that was mutual, but if it isn't, I'd like to know so it doesn't become unbearable.”

Cloud stared at him blankly. How was he supposed to react to that? He was exhausted from trying to make time for Zack and training and work and he'd spent an hour naked then walked up a hundred or so flights of stairs and now this? He sat down on the bed, feeling himself sink into the mattress. “I'm in a relationship,” he said.

“I know,” Genesis told him. “So am I.”

“I've...never dated more than one person,” The idea hadn't even been in his mind until a month ago. “I don't know if I can be in love with more than one person.”

“Loving one person is the societal default. You won't know if it's what you prefer unless you're willing to explore outside of it.” Genesis glanced down, a small smile forming. “I speak from experience. I would never have imagined it for myself either; I'm possessive and jealous, I don't usually enjoy sharing.”

“What changed?” The words came out almost hoarse from how dry his mouth was.

“Nothing monumental, I'm still possessive and jealous.” Genesis looked at him. “Sharing can be a difficult, but when it's the right person, they are worth the effort and the trouble. When the idea of Zack becoming part of our relationship, I certainly struggled, but I also know Angeal better than I know any other soul. If he found him worth the trouble, I trusted him. It wasn't misplaced. I don't love him – we are still exploring our individual relationship – but I see how he fits within the collective relationship now. I can see myself falling in love again and while daunting, it's also exciting to experience something new grow.”

“Zack's easy to love,” Cloud said,numbly. 

“That's part of the problem, I don't trust the idea of easy. ” Genesis allowed. “Love is a gift, transcendent of mortal things, but even as SOLDIERs we are mere mortals bound by the difficulties and complexities of existence. It requires trust in the other person – or people – involved that they too are willing to put their strength, their determination and their very soul into the journey you're taking together and that they will take care of those parts of you rather than tear them asunder. That Zack gives so much of himself to others baffles me; how does he not end up hurt constantly when he leaves himself that open?”

Cloud shrugged, he didn't have the words to make it sound pretty or profound. “Maybe he just trusts the right people. I think people want to live up to how he see's them, even if it feels impossible to do that.”

“I don't think I could live that way,” Genesis admitted, quietly. “My heart is as particular as the rest of me. I couldn't imagine opening it again until now for one person, let alone the potential of two. It's left me a little out of sorts and I don't think I'm expressing myself properly.”

“I don't know what means,” Cloud admitted, because it sounded like something that was definitely not happening. One crush he could maybe understand, Zack always saw the best in people but it seemed like Genesis was the flip side and saw the worst. What the hell would he want from him?

“It means...” Genesis reached out his hands, gathering Cloud's together and encasing them with his own. “There are several paths ahead. I'm asking if you would like to take a few steps down the one with us, to see if it may be something you like?”

Cloud could feel his heart beating in his throat all over again.”What if it doesn't work?”

“Then a trustworthy friend is just as precious as a lover,” Genesis said. “I'm not worried about my relationship – you did not break my rapier and you cannot break us. The only question is of what you want. What do you want, Cloud?”

“Is this –“ Cloud cleared his throat, trying to find his voice again. “Everyone is – okay with this?”

“You'll have to find how your relationships will work between you, but I wouldn't speak up if the interest were not there,” Genesis said. “I had an inkling – I know what they find attractive – but even if the circumstances were not ideal, having you here confirmed my suspicions that I believe you could fit here.”

“I don't fit anywhere,” Cloud said. This wasn't happening. During the commotion in the showers, he had slipped and hit his head. This was some kind of coma. This kind of thing didn't happen to him, no matter how real or distracting Genesis's hands were around his own, warm and and comfortable.

“Is that a no?” Genesis asked. “It's alright to say it. I'm perfectly capable of taking no for an answer.”

“It's not – no,” Cloud sputtered out. “I just don't know what to do now.”

“Stay a while,” Genesis pulled his hands apart, putting his fingers around his wrist and letting his thumb stroke idly at the skin. “We'll watch something awful and mock it relentlessly, particularly when Zack loves it because aside from lovers, his taste is abysmal. Try to find out what you're feeling. We even have a few books on the subject if you have trouble pinpointing it.”

“That's not funny,” Cloud replied, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.

Genesis let go of his wrists, letting his hands drop. “I'm not joking. You would not be the first person here to struggle to find their words and it's not as if the company could give a damn as long as you're functional. Shinra may own the programme but we made the decision long ago that SOLDIER belongs to us – whether you become one or not is not a condition of my question either, it would make things more difficult but not impossible.”

“I – all right,” Cloud said, half-expecting to awaken at the moment he said it but he didn't. 

“All right?” Genesis pushed. “Does that mean you'll stay?”

“Yeah,” Cloud said. Still no waking up. It was looking more and more likely this was actually happening. Gods, he needed to talk to Zack about this when he felt less like a string pulled so tight he may break at any moment. “I could stay."


	11. Chapter 11

  
Angeal awoke with a start; there was no particular noise but there was an absence of the usual level of warmth which indicated Genesis had already gotten up and Sephiroth – 

“Did I wake you?” 

Angeal leaned his head back and took in Sephiroth's blurry form, as it seemed his eyes had not quite woken up as much as the rest of him. Clearly, Sephiroth hadn't been asleep since he was sitting up on his PHS but there was also no indication that he had done anything that would have disturbed Angeal's sleep so he shook his head. 

“How long have you been up?” Angeal asked, pulling himself up. At least he'd been right about Genesis who was nowhere to be found.

“A while.” 

Too long, then.

This had become a pattern lately. Some of it was his fault; he knew bringing Zack into Sephiroth's space would mean there would be an adjustment period where he needed to become comfortable around him enough to relax but he had hoped they'd be a little further along by now. It could also be any number of other issues from the idea of another new person to trying to work. While Genesis had enough foresight to bring him out his noise cancelling headphones so he could continue to sit with them last night, it wasn't the same as having only the three of them. They had grown up together, some more grown than others but it meant they were used to tuning each other out when need be. A valuable skill around Genesis, but not as easy around Zack.

Remembering the night before clued him into the likely reason to Sephiroth's inability to get some sleep. While they had been hoping to engage Cloud in conversation more, it had taken only around twenty minutes into a silly action movie for Cloud to slump onto Zack's shoulder with bleary eyes, drifting in and out before succumbing to sleep. Angeal couldn't begrudge him it; it sounded as if he'd had a difficult night and he had been running around trying to care for Zack and take SOLDIER classes and training in addition to his regular hours. It seemed Cloud was the type to push himself to his limits, only taking a break when his body forced him to.

With a glance to Sephiroth, Angeal had to admit he could see the similarity there. It had taken a long time for Sephiroth to become comfortable enough around them to allow himself to be taken care of and even with the scant difference in age, the urge to do it still reared it's head. Maybe Zack was right and he was the 'Mom'. There were worse things to be, especially around people who needed a little taking care of. Zack may have picked up a little of it too, given the way he had put his arm around Cloud and tucked him under his chin. Even letting the sniping between Genesis and himself about his taste peter out in favour of a half-whispered commentary to Cloud. If they hadn't come to the conclusion by themselves, their feelings for one another would have been obvious to anyone who saw them like that. Something Zack had probably realised, as he had noticed Angeal looking and smiled brightly at him and reached for his hand, entwining them together for the rest of movie. 

In the end, Zack had dozed off as well. All the running around trying to figure out what had happened must have caught up with him. Unwilling to risk waking them, Angeal managed to get Zack's boots off without waking him (revealing he needed to darn one of his socks) and pulled one of the other couch throws over them before going to bed. While Genesis had joined him, he hadn't heard Sephiroth come to bed as he had stayed up to continue working.

It didn't seem right to draw attention to his discomfort; Sephiroth was likely embarrassed by it and Angeal had no intention of making him even more uncomfortable as they attempted to navigate this.

Instead, he asked, “Anything urgent?”

“Hmm,” Sephiroth replied, without looking up. There was something then. “I have a pre-mission medical this afternoon.”

That couldn't be right. They had discussed this yesterday; with the escalating attacks, Genesis would go and deal with it as he had been on local missions for the last six months after a particularly nasty and long mission to the northern continent. If anyone should be going for a medical this afternoon – which still seemed a little premature given the mission had to be another week out at least – then it should be him. 

“Did you add Genesis to the mission schedule?” Angeal asked.

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied. “Last night.”

“It was changed?” Angeal asked. 

“Yes,” Sephiroth said. “I've sent an inquiry to Lazard, but he claims he hadn't seen the update and will look into it.”

That would go down like a lead balloon with Genesis. Sending Sephiroth over him sounded like an excellent way to get his back up, so Angeal hoped there was a good reason beyond it making for another good 'war hero' story for Sephiroth. Shinra did love those, but it would play havoc with their relationship.

“It could just be a scheduling error,” Angeal said. It wasn't likely and they both knew it, but on the off-chance, he could hope. “Don't say anything to Gen yet, he's already wound tightly.”

Sephiroth glanced up at him, but nodded. 

There was no sense in unleashing Genesis in a foul mood on the unsuspecting public, especially when he had seemed in good spirits the night before. The talk with Cloud must have gone well, even if they hadn't really talked about what he said beyond the confirmation they had spoken. It was a talk for when he was less strung out.

With a brief kiss, Angeal moved away to get up. “I'll stick the coffee on,” he said, trying not to speak too loudly in case Zack and Cloud were still asleep. It was still dark out, so it had to be early.

Sephiroth gave him a brief smile and nod. The caffeine didn't do much for them, but there was enough of a placebo effect that they kept up the habit.

It turned out he was half right. Zack was still out cold but Cloud appeared to be trying to extricate himself from the sleeping overgrown puppy without waking him up and wasn't having an easy time of it. Every time he tried to pull away, Zack would try and nuzzle his hair so he had to still and wait for him to stop. Angeal had duck away as he tried not to smile at the ridiculous picture they made, spotting Genesis leaving the bathroom fully dressed save his coat. Coming to a stop by Angeal, he huffed a laugh at Cloud who seemed to realise now that he had company and went pink around the apples of his cheeks as he tried once again to pull away. 

Genesis looked at them and put up one finger, striding into the bedroom. Angeal exchanged a look of wary confusion with Cloud, who was now trying to get purchase to pull Zack over onto one shoulder so he could shimmy away but Zack was a grabby sleeper. Angeal had already known that, having bunked down in the wild with him a few times, but it brought it home that having both he and Genesis would be ridiculous. Gen seemed to grow extra limbs and wanted to wrap all of them around him because he seemed to get perpetually cold regardless of the actual weather and Zack was a snuggler. 

Then Genesis strolled out with a large, stuffed chocabo and Angeal had to hide his face to stop himself from groaning. A remnant from a trip to the Gold Saucer after the war was over and they had enough collective time off together to spend somewhere for a few days. 

When Angeal looked up again, he had to stifle a laugh as an extremely indignant Cloud was mouthing ' _Seriously?_ ' as emphatically as he could without risking waking Zack.

Genesis leaned down and whispered, “Roll on three.” Then he proceeded to count down to three on his fingers, Cloud rolling into the rug on three and Genesis thrusting the toy into Zack's arms. All three of them watched to see if the gambit had paid off. Zack snuffled in his sleep, before curling around the toy and settling back down. From the look on Cloud's face, he was caught between incredulous that it had worked and being relieved that he could get up.

“Bathroom?” he asked, clearly trying to keep his voice as low as he could. 

Angeal directed him towards it, shaking his head as Genesis stood up with a shrug. “I didn't know we still had that,” he whispered. “Coffee?”

“Please,” Genesis whispered, heading back into the bedroom after none too subtly taking a picture of Zack with his PHS. Angeal was tempted to take it and delete it, but thought better of it: Zack would see the funny side of it.

By the time Cloud emerged from the bathroom, the coffee was ready. Angeal beckoned him over “Would you like a cup?”

Cloud nodded, adding a quiet “Thank you,” when he was closer. Even with enhancements, Angeal doubted much was going to wake Zack if nothing had yet but it was sweet of him to try. 

“Milk? Sugar?” Angeal asked, as Cloud pulled himself up on one of Genesis's bar stools. With some amusement, Angeal noted that Cloud's toes were several inches above the floor as he squirmed to get comfortable. For lack of a better word, it was cute.

“Please,” Cloud said.

“Dairy or non?” Angeal asked.

Cloud's face scrunched up in confusion. “Does someone not have dairy?” 

Angeal shook his head, “Most of the time, it's fine but Gen doesn't take it on days where he's being televised or having his picture taken. Apparently it can make him 'blotchy'.”

Cloud's eyebrows raised, “Does it?”

Angeal held up both his hands in surrender, “I've been informed I have no opinion on the matter.”

“Nice of him to let you know,” Cloud grinned, but he almost immediately seemed to push it down by looking down at the breakfast bar as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to be in on the joke. It was becoming easier to see what Genesis was attracted to; a spark he seemed to be trying to drown out. The kind of thing Gen loved to draw out. 

Angeal fixed the coffee, putting the cup in front of him. “We all have public persona's and part of Gen's is to look–“ – _beautiful, flawless, unattainable, **perfect** – _ “–a certain way. There have been multiple incidences over the years where he was captured by the media without permission looking disheveled or tired and it was highlighted as a sign of ailing health or just not taking care in his appearance. It's upsetting for him.”

“That sounds horrible,” Cloud said, thanking him for the coffee. “What's the point?”

“We're public figures, it comes with the territory.” Angeal said. “Something you should be aware of if you're considering a romantic relationship.”

“I –“ Cloud started, then took a deep breath. “Is it that bad?”

“It can be. I don't have the same level of issues, mostly because while many of them are lovely people and I try to answer letters when I can, I don't interact with the fan clubs much.” Angeal shrugged. “I just don't have the time to book them for myself other than here or there, so unless the company does it, I don't get around to it.”

“Do you have a lot more to do?” Cloud asked. 

Angeal shook his head, “While I do take more classes, Sephiroth and Genesis take more missions. However, someone in the company handles Sephiroth's public appearances and Genesis's parents have handled the majority of his since he became a First while I handle my own.”

“I assumed it was a company person that handled all of it,” Cloud admitted. “Someone Co – Genesis could threaten if he wasn't happy with it.”

“Company interests don't always align with our own,” Angeal replied, trying to resist laughing at that. “Parents don't either, but it's less likely to be used as damage control when one of the executives does something embarrassing.”

“Your parents didn't want to do it?” Cloud asked.

“Sadly, my father passed away twelve years ago.” Angeal glanced at the buster sword hanging to the side without meaning to. 

“Shit, sorry,” Cloud started. “I mean – I didn't mean to –“

“It's been a long time, I've made my peace with it as best I can.” Angeal told him, reaching over to pat his hand in a way he hoped was reassuring. “Mom's still back home, but she's – well, she's never been Shinra's biggest fan.”

There was a beat of silence. “Neither is mine. It's not a reactor town, is it?”

“No,” Angeal shook his head. “There are a lot of mako deposits near Banora, but it was deemed too unstable as a site. We had people come out now and then to test things, but nothing ever came of it and eventually, they stopped coming. Not a good enough investment.”

Cloud huffed, looking down at his drink with a sharp half smile. “Kind of like me.”

“You have a mako sensitivity, don't you?” Angeal asked, even if he knew the answer from Zack ranting about it. “It can make admittance to the programme difficult because of how sick It could make you. One of the cadets we came in with slipped into a mako coma for over two weeks.”

“Was he alright?” Cloud asked.

“In the end,” Angeal nodded. “They recommended he go no further than Third. Initial treatments can usually be done in up to three or four goes but I think they had to spread his out over the course of a week for subsequent injections.”

“I'm surprised they didn't just write him off,” Cloud said.

“It doesn't really work like that,” Angeal admitted. While sometimes people went missing if that was the case, Adric had been a good strategist at a time when the war was at it's peak. It wouldn't be a surprise if they wouldn't have kept him on now. “Once you've had those treatments, you rely on them and it can go badly without monitoring.”

“Mako addiction,” Cloud said.

“Yes,” Angeal nodded. “It's a delicate balance, especially for the first round of treatments. There's less balancing required the more you've adjusted to it. For example, I don't think Sephiroth has ever been seriously ill from it.”

“Not since I was very young, no.” 

It was funny to watch Cloud jolt hard in his seat, obviously oblivious to Sephiroth coming up behind him. Angeal handed him a cup over Cloud's head, which Sephiroth took before sitting down at the bar with them. 

“How young did you have them?” Cloud asked. It only took Sephiroth to give him a small smile in response for Cloud to realise his mistake. “You don't know, you don't know how old you are now so how would you know old you were when it happened.”

“I could estimate based on height but I may have been tall for my age,” Sephiroth offered. “Why is Zack drooling on my chocabo?”

“It's yours?” Cloud asked.

“Yes,” Sephiroth said.

Cloud looked like he wanted to question it, but instead seemed to think better of it. “Okay.”

There was a double _ting_ sound, so Sephiroth pulled his PHS out of his pocket. Cloud stretched over to see if it had woken Zack, but his breathing was still even so Angeal didn't think it was likely he'd been woken up.

“I could have just shoved him off me and he wouldn't have woken up,” Cloud said, shaking his head.

Maybe, but when Zack was awake, he tended to speak for the both of them so Angeal was happy to let him catch an extra half an hour of sleep if it meant he got to speak to Cloud without him panicking or letting Zack take the lead. It was nice to know that in addition to being driven, loyal and self deprecating, he was also wry, curious and attentive in addition to being beautiful. It made it easier for him to see how Gen might have 'caught feelings' as Zack had charmingly put it.

Then he caught sight of Sephiroth's face.

“Lazard?”

Sephiroth began typing something out on his PHS. “Yes.”

“Are you still on the schedule?” Angeal asked.

“No,” Sephiroth said.

That was a relief, at least. No Genesis blow out to deal with. The one word answers were a little concerning, his attention clearly elsewhere and that didn't bode well. There weren't many people Sephiroth spoke to over his PHS, aside from them. Lazard, Turks, administration or – 

Pre-mission medical.

“Do you still need to go for a check up?” Angeal asked, the uncomfortable feeling in his gut already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

That would explain why his attention was split. As long as they had known him, Angeal didn't believe Sephiroth had ever had any of his medical needs or assessments done in medical. It was always Hojo, it was always the labs and what they had heard about them over the years in addition to his general upbringing with the man, it was not an easy thing to deal with.

“Tell him no,” Genesis said, inserting himself into the conversation as if he had always been there. He slipped out from the bedroom to where his own coffee was sitting. “Is this–“

“I didn't use the dairy,” Angeal told him. “I remembered.”

Genesis smiled at him, brief but happy. It was a relief to know his good mood hadn't been ruined, even if there was still time. Hojo's penchant for referring to them as a variety of insulting terms mixed with their knowledge of the man from Sephiroth meant that Genesis was always ready to offer to set him on fire at a moments notice. 

“Does it taste like milk?” Cloud asked, as Genesis took a sip.

“No, it tastes like murky water with a good PR team,” Genesis said, taking a drink. “We're out of the good coffee, so it will have to do.”

Angeal wrote it on the fridge door for the next time he went shopping, since Genesis must have contracted a rare disease which meant he could no longer add things to the shopping list.

“What's the point of having milk if it's not milk?” Cloud asked.

“I'm just complicit in my own suffering,” Genesis raised his coffee to him. “Speaking of, tell him no."

There was no chance he was going to let it go. 

"Genesis,” Angeal said, trying to put all the warning he could into his name. They weren't alone. Talking about it around someone they liked but didn't know nearly well enough to discuss private matters around was just going to make Sephiroth clam up even further.

“What?” Genesis said. “I prettied it up. I used no expletives nor did I suggest an orifice that disgusting creature could stick himself into, but you have no long missions on the horizon and you're months away from the scheduled so he has absolutely no cause for it. _Say no_.”

“There's cause,” Sephiroth replied. 

Angeal went still. “Are you feeling alright?”

Sephiroth just nodded curtly. 

“Then what?” Angeal asked.

“I broke my finger,” Sephiroth said.

He had? “When?”

“Last week,” Sephiroth said.

“He can't know that,” Genesis scoffed. “It was less than twenty minutes before I wiped the session. It can't have banked with security.”

“New camera,” Sephiroth said, turning his PHS towards Genesis, who immediately began to look red in the face. A storm brewing. “I don't recognise the angle.”

“Where?” Angeal asked. Sephiroth moved the PHS over so he could see it and it showed the VR room, where Genesis, Zack, Cloud and Sephiroth were talking. Once he knew to look for it, yes, one of his fingers did look at an odd angle. He looked to Genesis, “You broke his finger?”

“Technically, the pillar broke my finger,” Sephiroth said. 

“That's not funny,” Angeal said.

“I'm not trying to be,” Sephiroth replied.

“I know you think I'm just being a stick in the mud, but this – this is why I want you both to try and stay in control when you're sparring.” Angeal said. “I'm not trying to ruin your fun, I just –“

Genesis slammed the cup down onto the bar hard enough that the a hairline fracture spidered its way up the cup, droplets of the remainder of the coffee slipping out. Then he walked straight back into the bedroom, because no matter what, Genesis could never resist a dramatic storming off. 

“Whaaa,” came Zack's voice from the couch, sitting up and blinking at the toy he held close. “Cloud?!”

“Behind you, genius.” Cloud said, as Zack looked around and breathed out a breath he must have been holding.

“So you didn't turn into a stuffed chocabo?” Zack asked, discarding the toy on the table.

Cloud stared at him blankly, “I don't even know what to say to that,” he said, as Zack jumped off the back of the couch and barreled into him with a hug, squashing Cloud's hair underneath his chin. 

“Hey, there are frogs back home that turn you into a frog if you're not careful,” Zack said, almost picking him up off the seat with enthusiasm. “I'm not ruling anything out!”

Angeal tore his eyes away from them, letting Zack chatter on about Touch Me frogs and Gongaga. From experience, he knew he would go on for a while and there'd be time to check in with Sephiroth who was steadfastly looking at his PHS and nothing else. 

“Quiet rules tonight?” he asked, softly. Quiet rules were more or less exactly what they sounded like: a set of rules they had come up with when someone was having a particularly difficult time, be it injury, insecurity or war fatigue, where they could have the presence of the others there without the pressure of any activity or engagement that could be overwhelming in a heightened emotional state. 

Come to think of it, he was almost sure the first set of rules had come from his own depressive spiral when he came home from Wutai to the letter from his mother that his father had died three months prior. Back then, he hadn't been sure he ever going to stop feeling the gnawing guilt that had come with knowing everything his father had given up to give him his best shot at his dreams and it had ended up costing him his life. Lying on blankets in Sephiroth's new apartment with the blinds drawn, with Sephiroth quiet but steady on one side and Genesis on the other, swinging from reading quietly aloud to telling Sephiroth what decor he needed to get since he didn't so much as have a couch to sit on then and what they could do together later.

It was one of the first times the tower had ever felt like home. 

“I'm fine,” Sephiroth said, quietly.

Angeal thought back to Cloud the night before, still trembling and heart hammering and insisting he was fine. Gaia save him from people who wouldn't admit anything was wrong.

“Humour me,” Angeal asked, telegraphing his movement so he could put his hand on his shoulder. If he was jumpy, suddenly touching him was a good way to get thrown across a room. “Quiet night?”

After a moment, Sephiroth nodded. “Quiet night. I'm going to shower.”

A quiet night would mean asking Zack if he would mind letting them be, but he doubted Zack would fuss about it if he explained they just needed a night together. In fact, he didn't seem to have realised anything else was wrong at all despite the leaking cup. From the brief darts of Cloud's eyes, Cloud was still very aware something was wrong but he was polite enough not to ask. It wasn't the best way to begin to explore the possibility of a romantic relationship, but at least he went into it knowing they had their flaws like anyone else. Sephiroth pushed things down, Genesis tended to explode, Zack could be oblivious and he could be a bit of a nag. 

Placing the cup into the basin so he could mend it later – assuming Genesis didn't throw it out first – Angeal excused himself to go find him. 

It wasn't a surprise to find Genesis seated at the vanity, nor to find him with _Loveless_ in hand. Whispering the words aloud wasn't as common; he didn't speak them aloud in repetition much unless he was using them as a way to self soothe, a grounding technique that only really worked for him. Something about growing up in a large, quiet house with quiet people had made him detest the silence more than anything else, even if it was only his own voice breaking it.

Angeal waited him out, closing the door softly and sitting on the end of the bed to listen to him read the words out he'd had memorised by the age of six. 

When he reached the end of Act IV, Genesis closed the book but didn't look up. “I'm not in the mood for a lecture.”

“It's a good thing I didn't come in to give you one then,” Angeal said.

Genesis looked up then, working his jaw visibly. A telltale of him attempting to think before speaking; that was a good start. “We need to do a new device sweep for our communal areas again,” he said, eventually.

Angeal nodded, “I'll ask Zack if he'll help. It'll be more discreet.”

“Zack Fair is the discreet option,” Genesis huffed. “Goddess help us all.”

“He needs to learn how to find them anyway,” Angeal said. 

It was often awkward enough that the turks and executives seemed to have their own surveillances within the building, but there were also people who would leak the footage to the public and it made them wary of discussing their relationship in particular detail anywhere unsecured. Snippets of conversations between them when they thought they'd been alone would show up on forums and get picked up by the media, usually exaggerated or misinformed in some way. Zack needed to be taught how to protect himself, especially if he wanted privacy within in his relationship with Cloud as well as them.

“How much of this does he know?” Genesis asked.

“A little,” Angeal replied.

“You didn't think it might have been appropriate to elaborate?” Genesis asked.

“It might,” Angeal allowed. “Though we didn't listen, did we?”

Sephiroth had tried to tell them to be careful when they were promoted to Second class. At the time, they had put it down to Sephiroth's innate strangeness like he was one of the people who wore tin hats or yelled about the end of the planet on trains under the plate. After all, why would Shinra be interested in monitoring them to that degree? What could they have to gain from that? They'd been young and too full of themselves, the quickest ascents to First class since Sephiroth himself and they couldn't really imagine what life would look like when they wanted to think about falling in love or even families. What that level of scrutiny would feel like. How invasive it would feel to have their lives restricted. 

“I don't like this,” Genesis said, quietly. “Something feels wrong. If that bastard has known for a week that he broke his finger, why call him in now?”

“Maybe he was busy,” Angeal suggested.

“Yes, but with what?” Genesis put his fingers to the bridge of his nose and sighed. “This is going to be bad.”

“It may not be,” Angeal said, even if he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

“Don't be ridiculous, he was injured and not only didn't report the injury but actively took part in covering it up. The _esteemed_ professor is going to be ballistic.” Genesis looked up at him. “It's the delay of it. I don't want to think what could be cooked up in a week. What will we do if he doesn't come home tonight?”

Angeal couldn't really answer that the way Gen wanted him to.“The same thing we've done any other time it's happened. We wait and then deal with it on his terms. He has the right to choose how he deals with Hojo. Whatever else he's done, he is still the person who raised him so he gets to decide.”

“Raised him,” Genesis huffed at him, “Is that what we're calling it?”

Angeal reached out, squeezing his knee. “I'm worried too.”

“I know,” Genesis nodded, placing his hand on Angeal's. “I know! Between the disappearing footage last night and the delay, it feels – peculiar. If nothing else then due to Cloud's presence both times. Zack too, if he had gone looking for him last night instead of Sephiroth. Then there's taking his cards from his wallet and dumping his other things to be found. I know it's likely nothing and I'm overreacting, but...”

“Overreacting?” Angeal smiled at him in a way he hoped was reassuring. Put together like that, it did seem like a lot of coincidences but it could still be all it was – coincidence. No point in getting riled up over something that could be nothing. “You? I don't believe it.”

Genesis responded by reaching over, sliding his hand into Angeal's hair and pulling him in for brief kiss, “Love you.”

Simple words, far simpler than the way Genesis tended to say it but they never failed to make him feel like something cold inside him was melting away. “I love you,” Angeal said. “Don't throw the cup out, I'll mend it at lunch. I'm going to put something in the slow cooker so we can have a quiet night.”

“It's a cup, Angeal,” Genesis grumbled, waving him off. “What does it cost, a hundred gil?”

“Just because something is a little broken doesn't mean you should throw it away,” Angeal told him pointedly. “It's still worth fixing.”

“Oh, that's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Genesis said.

“Maybe a little. Go put your public face on, you'll hate it tomorrow if you look sad in the pictures.” Angeal patted his knee before standing up. “I'll see you tonight.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is soon after the last chapter was posted. We're heading into the hurt part of our hurt/comfort tag and I wanted to try and get it up before Whumptober was over, but it's had to be split into two parts as events happen at the same time and need two different POVs. As such, you're getting part 1 of this chapter now and hopefully part 2 around the weekend or shortly thereafter as per my usual schedule. 
> 
> Mind the tags on this one, everyone. There's nothing too graphic, certainly no more so than in the games themselves, but tags have been updated to include things from both parts.

  
“This is unacceptable.”

It was the third time today Hojo had said it and it wasn't getting any easier to hear. It was also the third round of endurance, muscular strength, precision and reflex measurements and the results were coming out between -2% and -4% of his averages from four months ago. So much upheaval had happened in the last four months that it wasn't surprising that there was a lingering impact on his performance, but the labs had a way of making Sephiroth feel young again, of inducing a childish fear of those words even if he was much too old to be experiencing such a thing. When he walked past the room he had spent much of childhood in now, it looked so small and it was strange to realise how big his life had gotten since then. It was hard to remember when the idea of leaving this place filled him with trepidation when he had been all over the Planet. Perhaps this is what people meant when they thought of childhood nostalgia.

There was no point in attempting to dissuade Hojo from his quest to find a physiological issue for the reduction in performance. Even the milder explanation of prolonged, disturbed sleep was met with derision, the idea that something as mundane as romantic relationships as a cause for issues would get him laughed at or worse, be seen as such a distracting issue that he would attempt to intervene. The idea of it caused a spike in his blood pressure that he was immediately chastised for, so he tried to concentrate on keeping his body as close to baseline as possible.

Testing had shown that he was experiencing slightly inadequate endocrine functions as well as less than optimum metabolic and inflammatory responses. All normal responses to mild insomnia, but Hojo wouldn't accept that until everything else had been ruled out. Even if a two to four percent dip in performance still put him ahead of every other SOLDIER by a comfortable margin, anything that lowered his damage per second would be cause for reprisal. Arguing about it would be pointless. Arguing prolonged the process and the quicker it was over, the faster he could get home and wash the smell of the industrial strength cleaner from him before relaxing with his partners before he had to deal with anyone else.

So he didn't complain about the excessive testing, he didn't attempt to provide information that would be immediately discarded as too personally subjective to be considered accurate data and he waited it out.

Nothing in blood or cell samples. Minor decreases in reaction times. No decrease in sensory awareness. Nothing on the body scans. It was a waste of time and he suspected that was the point, there was no answer that would satisfy him because it wasn't about answers. It was about the fact he had an injury and didn't report it. 

“How long from break to fully functional?” Hojo asked him, pulling his attention back to the moment. 

“I don't know,” Sephiroth answered after a moment. There was an estimate, but that wasn't going to be good enough.

“Why didn't you time it?” Hojo asked.

“I became distracted,” Sephiroth admitted. There was footage so he could see that. No point in lying.

“So I see,” Hojo said, handing him a soft rod of some kind. “Grip and release, 10 second intervals.”

There was nothing wrong with his dexterity either. What a surprise.

“Clean break?” Hojo asked him.

“Yes.”

“Show me.”

Sephiroth blinked, turning his head to look at him for the first time since he had sat down.

“Break it,” Hojo said, before sighing as if he were being put upon in some way. “It's a finger. Do you really need me to break it for you? I thought you would be old enough now to do it yourself.”

There was something juvenile in him that wanted to insist that no, thank you, he was perfectly capable of a minor fracture even on himself. It was just not something he was often asked to do. Hojo enjoyed his sense of control far too much to give leeway to active participation in testing, but Sephiroth had always been a special case. It sat uncomfortably in his stomach for a few moments too long.

“Now?” 

“Let me set up the timer,” Hojo brought around a table for him to set his hand down on. “Begin.”

There was a brief moment of something that was more adrenalin than pain, but then a familiar dull throb set in. It wasn't particularly interesting to watch, even if he knew many Third class SOLDERs loved to watch their bones knit together again shortly after their first treatments for the sake of the novelty. It had simply never been any different for him, though the timings had varied some over the years.

Perhaps the enjoyment of watching had also been lost to Hojo, because he started talking. “I see you've decided to add the stray to your collection. ”

Stray?

_Zack._

“Angeal asked and I have no objections,” Sephiroth said. 

The opposite as time went on, if truth were told. There was something inescapably joyful about Zack Fair, he lived moment to moment but was still a capable fighter and he was...for lack of a better term, happy. Threw his whole self into every emotion and never seemed to stay down for long. The enthusiasm was infectious. Even this morning when he had come out of the shower for Zack to look at him and whistle. The confusion must have been evident, because Zack had just ducked his head and shrugged.

( _“It's just something people do sometimes if they see someone who looks hot,” Zack said. “Like to say their body is rocking, you know?”_

_Given he had been standing still, not really. Cloud had buried his head into his cup and bemoaned the fact that Zack could come out with something that cheesy and still had multiple partners while his own love life was a mess._

_“Maybe not so much anymore,” Zack had said. “I mean, you decided to stay, right? That means we're going to try?”_

_“You heard that?!” Cloud squawked._

_“Yeah!” Zack said. “I was getting ready to run in and stop you if you were going to try and be all self defeating about it.”_

_“You're going to end up with another broken nose if you keep shoving it where it's not meant to be,” Cloud grumbled._

_“Aw, don't worry!” Zack had wrapped his arms around Clouds shoulder. “I think you're hot too!”_ )

If Zack had added a new dynamic, then the dynamic was even stranger around Cloud. It was – unexpected. It was unusual for someone not in SOLDIER or in a position of power at the company to spend a lot of time with him, but he supposed that would only remain true if Cloud failed his next round. They weren't long from now, a week or two, but he was surprised by how invested he felt in the outcome. Once Cloud had stopped blushing or shying away from them, he was sharp but it seemed to come from a place of – 

“Forty-seven minutes!” Hojo declared. Six minutes from his last average. That didn't bode well. “Again.”

So he broke it again, then again, then again.

Then he broke the corresponding finger on his other hand.

Then each finger in turn, watching as Hojo became more irritated.

Even the fastest healing time was ninety seconds short of his last averages.

“No use!” Hojo declared. “I need to see it on a larger scale. Shower and change, I'll have an OR prepped.”

That had been what he wanted to avoid.

Sephiroth wasn't entirely sure of the time, the labs had no outward signs of passing of time or days posted around like clocks or calendars, but just from the amount of time he had collectively spent there already, he was sure it was morning by now. His PHS was still off in his discarded coat. The shower wasn't unwelcome, even if it was cold, but he had always found it peculiar that he had to take such precautions when the blood and whatever else had come out of the latest subject of Hojo's attention was usually still stained on the floor, walls and occasionally ceiling. 

This was going to add another six to eight hours on, depending on how thorough he was intent on being. Asking was a guarantee it would take the longest possible period. Part of it was his fault; once the heart and blood pressure monitors were attached, he couldn't seem to calm himself enough to get a good baseline reading. 

“If Hollanders brat wants to be with someone else, let him go.” Hojo punctuated the comment by making the first incision into his arm. "You have more important things to do."

No idea which bone he wanted to break to watch heal, but ultimately it didn't matter. It required him to control his breathing to filter out the adrenalin that came with sudden pain, pushing distance between mind and body. By now, he had become a master of reducing any bodily pain to a dull ache at the back of his mind, something he didn't have to think about, something he didn't need to be fully and consciously present for because he was more likely to be talked at than to. It was easier to let his mind wander. If he was asked anything that required a response, he was likely to do so without needing to engage. It was always the same sort of thing: could he feel it? (yes) was it painful? (yes) on what scale was it painful? (three to four) repeating over as the healing process worked. There had to be some kind of metal dug into his skin, hooking it open to prevent closure and so Hojo could see the bone. 

Oh, he realised with a glance. The bone was jutting out of his skin. That was why he could see it. No matter, it would heal soon even if it felt itchy now, uncomfortable.

There was no need to worry. There would probably be some mako infusion before he left, so there wouldn't be any lingering effects. This was what he had tried to explain to his partners, before they were even that and were friends alone, he was in no real danger during this. The president considered him to be Shinra's greatest asset, millions of gil had been poured into him and they wouldn't want to waste the time or money to repeat the process. 

( _“You make it sound more like weapon development than training a person,” Genesis had told him, years ago, after he had tried to explain. They had been sitting down by the ocean, watching Angeal getting excited over some watery plant life._

_“It's both,” he had told him. “I can be both.”_

_“I'm not entirely sure you're fit to be called either at the moment,” Genesis said, and it had – stung. Or was that just a new incision? It was hard to tell. “Worry not. You're in good hands now._ ”)

They had seemed so different then in ways that didn't make sense at all. They had the most effective mission track records aside from his own, but they would get into mock fights that weren't like sparring at all, trying to trip each other up in the jungles or drag the other person under the water for no real reason. 

Angeal was strong and calculating, his battle record was (almost) unparalleled but he would get excited if he saw a plant he didn't know the name of and would press it with care between the pages of one of Genesis's books so he could keep it. More blunt force than precision, but extraordinarily gentle. Grounded with a preference for solid plans and evidence, but still felt the need to commune with nature. Even in Midgar where plants came to die, he was still determined to try and make his office a green sanctuary no matter how sad each shriveled plant made him.

Genesis had always been fanciful. Intense and passionate, he went on gut instinct most of the time and in anyone else, it would have gotten him killed, not promoted but his instincts were right a lot more than they were wrong. As much as he claimed to hate people, he could size them up as fast as most turks. Relentlessly practical and never shied away from what needed to be done, yet a theist. It struck him that when they were younger, he had seen him pray quietly on his bunk or on the beaches, it had reminded him of something familiar even if he couldn't exactly say what. Now he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him do it, but nothing had ever come up and he certainly seemed to still believe in his Goddess.

They had been puzzles to figure out, first as friends, then as lovers. There had been an adjustment for them, just as there was one now for Zack. Perhaps he would look back on the things that still confused him about Zack with the same nostalgia one day. 

Something caught his attention, Hojo's voice distant but – 

“– two failures weren't enough for you, so you wanted to have another –“

“Zack isn't a failure,” Sephiroth said, or tried to through a fuzzy tongue that felt too large for his mouth. The smell of blood was thick in the air, but his eyes were able to track a tube that had been put into his hand at one point to a bag of some of his 'banked' blood. Judging by the amount, he would have to replenish the supply sooner rather than later. 

“I wasn't talking about him.” Hojo came back into view, looking at – something before he was demanding something from his assistant that he couldn't quite process. “Clench your fingers. Again. Healing complete at 22:05 within a sixty second margin. Acceptable, but not ideal.”

It was earlier than he thought. Sephiroth had been sure it was morning already. Judging by the variety of parts of him that ached or stung, he knew he must have been drifting in and out of awareness for some time so how had only been eight hours since he had come in here. How could it only be ten o'clock? If that was the end of the resting, and it might be, he could smell mako and 'acceptable' might be enough, then it might not take that long to heal up and he could go back upstairs and the night wouldn't be ruined.

“I'm going to check the sternum and ribs.” 

Not over, despite the mako. Just not taking any chances with his healing.

Wait, he was being talked to now, wasn't he? Sephiroth blinked, the light in the room almost painful on his eyes and tried to process it.

“Sephiroth!”

Too long.

Had to focus.

“Yes.”

Hojo wasn't...next to him anymore. When had he moved? “I asked if you could keep still or if you needed restraints, since you appear to be having a childhood regression. Or should I say a midlife crisis?” 

No crisis.

He was fine.

“I can keep still.”

( _– “WAIT!” Angeal yelling at him, as he went to cut open Genesis's leg where the skin had grown over the shrapnel. “Use Sleep first!”_

_“Why?”_

_“What do you mean, why?” Angeal asked. “You can't just cut into him, you'll hurt him! What if he flinches and you tear a muscle?”_

_“Can't you control yourself?”_

_“From flinching?!” Genesis snarled at him, less effective from a pale fourteen year old who had barely been able to walk. “No, I can't control it! I'm sorry we can't all be as blasted_ perfect _as you!_ ” –)

“ – is erratic.” Hojo's voice cut through the memory unbidden. How long had he been here? The metal was no longer cold on his back, but sticky. At some point, he had begun to sweat again. “What could you possibly want from a below-average, ill educated infantryman?”

Not Zack.

Cloud.

“S'not weak.” It felt as if he had a hundred cotton balls stuck in his mouth, but – 

“I've looked at his records and they're utterly unremarkable,” Hojo said. “Still, I gave your interest in him the benefit of the doubt. I had medical give him what he desperately wanted and he became unresponsive within the hour. Your taste continues to embarrass me. Rejects, strays and weaklings, all of them.”

Unresponsive within the hour?

Cloud was in medical? 

What – 

What – 

What – 

“Your pulse and BP have spiked,” Hojo informed him. Not in the same place, he had moved again. “Get it back under control before you contaminate my results.”

Sephiroth closed his eyes and reminded himself that he was fine, that Hojo was probably just attempting to get under his skin, everything was fine. Every breath felt like something dragging him down, like he was under water while the rest of the world was on land, like there was whispers coming from the dark and he couldn't decipher them before it enveloped him.

When Sephiroth came to, he was no longer in the surgical suite and full dressed save for his boots. Swallowing, his mouth was still dry and he felt a little lightheaded but he could see no evidence of any other injury. He was fine.

He was fine. 

It took a few minutes to convince his feet to hold his weight, but once they did, it was just a matter of walking out. Hojo was at the computer when he came out, only glancing upwards briefly. “I've left you sedatives that should have some effect on you,” he said, tapping the table beside him and indicating an unmarked bottles of curiously coloured liquid. “Try them for the week, then come back down and we'll check your performance again – without the dramatics this time.”

The memory of being on the table came back suddenly, but memories, dreams and reality warped around themselves and he wasn't sure what had been a fever dream and what hadn't. Still, he didn't want to draw any more attention to Cloud than necessary. The sooner he got out of there, the sooner he could find out what was going on and the sooner he could be home where he didn't have to worry about being seen until he could regain his equilibrium.

It took only ten flights of stairs for his legs to fail him. Maybe he should have taken the elevator but – he didn't want to be seen, not right now. If he could just sit on the stairs for a few minutes, perhaps he'd find it in him to go up further. Until then, he realised his PHS was still in his pocket. Switching it on, his stomach plummeted as he read the date. It was Friday – it had been four days. It had felt like one, maybe two, but four?

His messages loaded up, but he couldn't – the words blurred together. Damn it, he didn't have time to panic!

On the chance it would be Angeal or Genesis, he hit the button to call the last person who had tried to call him. After a few rings, a numbing relief went through him as he heard Angeal's voice. 

“Are you alright?” His voice was soft, a balm, a reassurance.

 _I'm fine,_ he tried to say but the words wouldn't come. He tried again. Again. Panic rose in his throat. 

On the other end, he heard Angeal take a deep breath and tap on the mouth piece. Yes, he could do that, he could tap.

Two taps. _Yes._

“Thank you for calling me,” Angeal said. “Listen, I'm in Junon but I'll be back tonight. Gen'll fill you in, stay there, I'll call him.”

One tap. _No._

He didn't need retrieving, he could go home by himself. The dizziness was wearing off. 

“At least let him meet you before the elevator,” Angeal asked. “He was in fine form this morning, I wouldn't be surprised if half the floor runs if they see him coming. ”

One tap. _No._

Sephiroth was _fine_ , he just couldn't figure out how to use the system to ask if Cloud was all right. There were pictures on the PHS, he knew, Zack used them frequently, but he didn't know where to find them on his. 

“Please,” Angeal said. “It would set my mind at ease until I can get home.”

Experimentally, Sephiroth attempted to stand. Shaky, but he managed it. The elevator would be fine, the less people he had to deal with on instinct, the better the chances for their survival. A compromise, and at least he had time to find his voice so he could ask what was going on that he needed to be filled in on.

Two taps. _Yes._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to wrap the four day interval, but it turns out if I tried that, it would come out around 18k so I'm going to break it up into smaller chunks. It means the fic will be longer, but hopefully, it'll feel more satisfying as a story to give each moment the attention it deserves and pace out the hurt/comfort aspects instead of everything in one chapter.

There was an envelope on Cloud's bunk when the duo got down there on Tuesday morning. 

Cloud had argued against Zack coming with him the entire time, just as he'd argued about filing any sort of incident report, just as he'd argued about staying for breakfast and just as he'd argued about being taken off the schedule today despite the fact he was still a bit shaken up – even if he wouldn't admit it. The other bunks were thankfully empty, the other three guys he shared with already working so Cloud could at least check on his spare uniform and put in to get a new helmet. No word yet from Kunsel on tracking down the originals, but it had been about ten hours, the guy needed to sleep and eat like a normal person.

Probably. Never could tell with Kunsel.

“What is it?” Zack asked, as Cloud picked up the letter. Company stationary; that was weird. Almost everything was done electronically unless they needed a physical copy for legal stuff.

“If you'll wait till I open it, I'll tell you.” Cloud huffed, running his finger along the envelope and putting out a single sheet of paper. 

Zack tried to be patient. Really, he did, but Cloud seemed to be reading it several times. “So...?”

“It's a medical appointment,” Cloud said. “They want to do a mako tolerance test.”

Something happy and excited bubbled in Zack's stomach. “Did they ever do that before?” 

Cloud looked up at him and shook his head. “The exams aren't until next Monday. Why now?”

“You've been doing classwork, right?” Zack reasoned. “They can see how much better you're doing! Your stamina's come so far, you even knocked me on my ass! You're going to slam those exams. It's all about if you can handle the injections now.”

Cloud exhaled softly, but there was a small lop-sided smile as he looked back down at the letter. It was trembling in his hands. Zack couldn't contain himself any longer and whooped, throwing his arms around Cloud and pushing him back onto the bed with giddy laughter. “I told you!” he cawed. “I told you! SOLDIER, here you come!”

“Get off!” The yell was kind of dampened by the fact Cloud was laughing with him. “Shit, this is at 0800, I got to go!”

Zack couldn't stop himself from laughing at watching Cloud scramble to get his spare uniform on, almost tripping out of his pants as he tried to put them on backwards. Apparently he had enough time to flip Zack off, before he started worrying about not being in full uniform when he got down there.

“They're going to put you in a gown anyway,” Zack told him, as they scurried into the elevator. “Stop panicking and start helping me plan how we're going to celebrate!”

“No celebrating,” Cloud said, sharply. “I could still be too sensitive which if you're anything to go by means I'll end up puking up everything but the kitchen sink tonight.”

“You never even got this far when you were fourteen,” Zack said. “It has to mean something! Even if you do end up puking your guts up, so did I and I'm normal now!”

“As normal as you've ever been,” Cloud muttered, so Zack gave him a shove. Maybe a little too hard, since he took two steps back but he was still wearing that little smile. Zack decided he loved that smile.

“Whatever happens, send me a text when you're done?” Zack asked. Despite the crack in his PHS, it was at least still mostly working. “Even I know after mako stuff, you shouldn't be alone in case something happens.”

“Assuming no one takes my PHS when I'm in medical,” Cloud agreed. “I'll text you. Aren't you taking some classes this week??”

“Should be done by one,” Zack said. That had been exciting enough, being able to formally teach some of the Third classes as a First class. Besides, Angeal had already asked if he would mind letting the three of them have a little two on one time so they could talk about everything so he was pretty free . If he kept close to the tower, he could probably squeeze in a local mission or two this afternoon if Cloud was still being monitored. 

“Hey,” Zack said, pulling Cloud back by his arm when they reached medical. A quick look around; only a handful of people about and busy doing their own stuff so he pulled him in for a quick kiss. “I'm so happy for you.”

Predictably, Cloud blushed high on his cheeks and ducked his head. “Go away, I'll see you later.” he insisted.

“Proud of you!” Zack said, pointing at him as the elevator doors closed. 

With another hour to kill, Zack sent off a string of messages on his PHS. First one was to Angeal, letting him know that Cloud had been called in for a mako tolerance test this morning and while he got they needed some time to talk stuff out, could they do something to celebrate/commiserate tomorrow. Second to Kunsel, asking if he knew anything more about Cloud having his stuff taken. Last, he sent one to Cloud. Even if he wouldn't get for a while, he wanted to remind him that he had to text him as soon as he knew something.

On a whim, he grabbed some pastries from the guest shop and took them up to his first class with him. Today was going to be a great day! 

His first class overran, maybe giving a bunch of hyper teenagers a sugar rush before combat training wasn't his smartest idea, so he didn't get a chance to check his PHS again until almost eleven. By then, he had four messages waiting. One from Lazard's assistant, reminding him to submit materia requisition forms a week in advance, not a day (whoops). The next was a string from Angeal:

 **Angeal** : Ahead of the exams? That's unusual.   
**Angeal** : Are you sure it was genuine?  
**Angeal** : Check with me in the morning and we'll see what we can do.

Zack shot a message back that yep, it was all official and he had dropped Cloud off at medical himself. Maybe it was premature to hope they'd be excited too, but given Cloud's track record, maybe Angeal was just being overly cautious.

Zack flicked down to another set from Kunsel.

 **SpymasterK:** Only that whoever wiped these had high level codes.  
**SpymasterK:** Like Exec level codes.  
**SpymasterK:** Let me keep digging.

Maybe those dicks had some friends in high places. Maybe Heidegger had his undies in a bunch, but Cloud couldn't be the first person to mock him. Surely he had an entire army full of people who did that.

Last message was a notification that he had a package to be picked up. Nothing from Cloud yet. It had taken a few hours with his last set too, so maybe it would just be a bit longer. 

Zack's classes wound up just before one, so he eagerly checked his PHS. Nothing from Cloud. Heading upstairs, he grabbed a couple of sandwiches and watched the second half of some movie he couldn't concentrate on. By two, there was still no new messages so he headed down to take a quick monster clearing mission below the plate. It took a little longer than he expected since he got caught on a train inspection, so it was almost six by the time he got back to the plate. 

Still nothing from Cloud.

The guys were busy tonight, but surely they wouldn't mind him just checking they hadn't seen Cloud. By the time he got as far as reception, there was no response from anyone. Out of frustration, Zack tried to call Cloud. His PHS was still off. However, almost exactly as he hung up, his PHS rang.

“Cloud?!”

“He's not with you?” It was Kunsel. “Shit! Where is he?”

“Medical called him in for a mako test this morning,” Zack said. “Why, did you find who took his stuff?”

“No, but what I did find? I think you should go get him,” Kunsel replied. 

“What did you find?” Zack asked, changing the floor so he could go down to medical.

“The cameras were shut off by a closed server,” Kunsel replied. “I can't get in. There's only a few closed servers in the company. One belongs to the president, another belongs to the turks and the last one is the labs. You know what sometimes happens down there, right?”

“I've heard the rumours,” Zack replied. Everyone had, but they didn't think much of them. It sounded ridiculous to think that people could just disappear down there. Probably just a way to keep anyone from going and snooping around. “There's no reason Cloud would have caught anyone's attention that high up.”

“That's not exactly true, is it?” Kunsel said. 

“Huh?” Zack asked. Who could Cloud have upset down there?

“The General did take him upstairs wearing nothing but his coat,” Kunsel said, hesitantly. “The company can get kind of weird about him. They might not have liked that.”

That sounded a little paranoid. “I'm at medical now. I'll text you when I've got to him.”

“Good luck.”

That was where Zack began to run into trouble. 

The admin at the desk was reluctant to give him information on a patient he had no relation to, but eventually Zack had exercised his First Class status in a way that felt a little like cheating but it had at least gotten him what he wanted. Then they had trouble finding him. Apparently he hadn't been checked in this morning, but only a few hours ago. That was ridiculous! Cloud wasn't _that_ small. In the end, Zack had to wait the better part of an hour as they looked around trying to figure out where Cloud was and what was going on.

“Zack Fair?” A doctor he didn't recognise came out. “Come with me.”

Zack sprung up and followed them back through the labyrinth that was medical. “Can you tell me anything?” he asked, after they'd been walking for a few minutes. It was pretty far into medical now, somewhere he didn't go very often since it was for people who got seriously injured or needed operations or something. The fact they were back here was enough to put him on edge.

“While we have located Strife, no one seems to know who administered treatment. There are updated records that say he responded adequately to the initial dose, but the dangers are higher when you're administering several shots in quick succession,” the doctor replied.

“Wait, what?” Zack hurried in front, now walking backwards. “It was just a mako test! Not a real dose.”

“That's not what was on his record,” the doctor replied. “Seven doses, administered at fifteen minute intervals. I'm afraid he became unresponsive at roughly an hour.”

Zack felt his heart slamming in his throat, “Unresponsive?”

“It looks like a mako coma,” the doctor said, coming to a stop by a pair of doors. “We will keep him under surveillance, but some people come out of it on their own.”

“What about other people?” Zack asked. “Isn't there anything you can do?”

“I'm afraid not,” the doctor replied. “We'll monitor him for changes, but it's up to him now. It's not encouraging that he responded so badly so quickly. You should prepare yourself for the worst.”

It was like a shock of ice water over him.

“Can I see him?”

“Through there,” the doctor replied. “Visiting is over at ten, if you want to stay later than that, you'll have to sign a few forms.”

“I'll sign them,” Zack said automatically. No way was he leaving without him. “Can I use my PHS in here?”

“As long as you keep it on silent so as not to disturb other patients,” the doctor replied. “There's an assistant down the hall to your left if you need anything else.”

Zack didn't need anything else right now. All he needed was to set eyes on Cloud, so he ran straight in the down to the bed by the window. Two other beds were filled, but he ignored them for the familiar shape of Cloud's hair. Cloud didn't look good. His eyes were open at a half mast, he was pale and completely still even if he seemed to breathing just fine. It kind of looked almost like he'd fallen asleep with his eyes open. 

It was faint, like it could be a trick of the light, but there was a soft glow to them.

After one appointment? What were thinking? Who signed off on that!

Unsure, Zack reached over to him, running his hand through Cloud's hair and watched him for any sign of a response. Nothing. Even his head stayed at the angle Zack had left it at, like he was a ragdoll he could just move around. The weight in his gut intensified.

“Sorry,” Zack whispered, trying to figure out what would be more comfortable for him when he woke up because he had to wake up. “Sorry, sorry.”

Why hadn't he come in with him this morning?! There had been time! One stupid mix up and he could end up paying for it with his life? Zack felt a familiar burning prick to his eyes, half collapsing into the chair by the bed and trying to will away the doctors words about being prepared for the worst. Fuck! What had he been thinking? Cloud was sensitive to mako! Even the smallest chance this could happen from a test and Zack should have pulled him back and told him he couldn't.

There would be new dreams. There wasn't a new Cloud. 

“You're going to wake up, do you hear me?” Zack told him, and even before the telltale feeling of wet fell down his cheek he could hear himself on the verge of tears at the sight. He brushed it away, steeling himself. “Lots of people go into mako comas, they wake up after a few hours, days, sometimes weeks! You're going to be fine.”

On the off chance Cloud could hear him, or feel him, he grasped his hand and squeezed. 

There wasn't anything after that. Cloud didn't stir. None of the other patients stirred. It wasn't until he saw his PHS light up that Zack remembered he was supposed to text Kunsel. 

**SpymasterK:** Did you find Cloud?  
**SpymasterK:** Are you okay?  
**SpymasterK:** Zack, please answer.

Zack stretched and looked over to Cloud. Nothing. It took everything he could to bite down on the feeling of panic that was seeping into his bones.

 **Me!:** They fukced up the dose.   
**Me!:** He dint geta tester.  
**Me!:** He got fulldose p much at onec  
**Me!:** Mako coma  
**Me!:** Dnt even kno who did it

The response was almost immediate.

 **SpymasterK:** Shit. Where is he?

 **Me!:** Medical, 34Bc.  
**Me!:** Ws this an accident?????

There was a few minutes of the typing dots before Kunsel responded.

 **SpymasterK:** I don't know.  
**SpymasterK:** But I will find out.

For now, that was enough. How did they screw up this badly? Cloud has his letter, it said what he was there for.

If it wasn't accident – if this was done on purpose – 

Zack flipped back to his messages and composed one to Sephiroth. If this had been because of them walking up together, he'd know something, right?

 **Me!:** I'm in medcal w Cloud  
**Me!:** They were ment to giveh im a test dose but ODd  
**Me!:** Is tha a rl thing???  
**Me!:** Tht kind of mistaek???

There was no immediate response this time. Not even a sign to say he'd read it. Maybe they all had their PHS's off or on silent or something. Not even a quick message to Angeal worked to get their attention and he was usually careful to answer in good time in case something was wrong.

At ten, he went down the hall and filled in the forms to say he was staying, he understood he might have to leave for medical procedures and that they couldn't cater to him as a guest. That was fine. There was nothing he needed, except maybe someone to pick up their PHS and Cloud to wake up and be fine. No one would give him more information. No one knew what had happened or how. No one even seemed bothered by the fact this kind of mistake had happened. Was it that common? 

Zack refused to leave until he could be sure he was safe. There weren't a lot of things he could do, but he cancelled his classes with the Thirds for this week unless they wanted to do it privately, fixed the blankets, talked in a low tone about anything he could think of just to fill the silence but nothing drew him away from Cloud's vacant stare for long. 

_You should prepare yourself for the worst._

How did he prepare for that? This morning, they had been tumbling around the bed laughing, this morning he had risked kissing him in public, this morning they were going to celebrate and now – now he might just not wake up?

Zack startled in the early morning with a crick in his neck from lightly dozing on the chair, confused at first as to what had disturbed him. The last thing he remembered was telling Cloud about how they were going to go on a real date when he felt better, something fancy like dinner or movies or dancing. In the moment, he looked to Cloud but he looked exactly the same as he had last night – still, staring dead ahead with no hint of movement. 

Then he looked at his PHS and saw he had a missed call from Angeal. 

**Me!:** They OD dCloud by accident  
**Me!:** I'm in medical with him

This time, the response was almost immediate.

 **Angeal:** OD?  
**Angeal:** How is he?

Zack looked over at Cloud and felt his stomach clench.

 **Me!:** Bad. Mako coma.

The PHS began to vibrate. Angeal was calling him, so he slipped out the doors with stiff limbs and answered as quietly as he could.

“Angeal?”

“We're on our way down,” Angeal said, his breathing indicating he was moving at a swift pace. “Where exactly are you?”

Zack reiterated the route they'd taken last night. “I don't understand how this could have happened,” he said. “It was only supposed to be a tolerance test!”

“I know, we'll be there soon,” Angeal promised, while he could hear Genesis speaking unintelligibly in the background. “Hang tight.”

There wasn't a whole lot else he could do. There was a vending machine at the end of the next corridor, so he bought himself sludge that could maybe count as coffee, but he couldn't drink it, he felt sick to his stomach. For a minute, he thought he might actually throw up. Steadying himself against the glass, he tried to remember to take deep, rhythmic breaths but the nausea wouldn't leave.

“Zack!” 

It seemed like only moments later, Angeal was barreling down towards him and Zack found himself being enveloped. Zack melted against him, feeling the back of his head being held and the desire to well up coming all over again. He shoved it down; not right now. Right now he had to find out what had happened to Cloud.

“You should have called us sooner,” Angeal said, letting Zack go when he pushed back. 

“You said you couldn't be disturbed,” Zack said.

“Within reason!” Angeal squeezed his forearms. “Are you all right?”

Zack didn't know how to answer it, so he kind of – laughed wetly instead. “I don't know, man. I – don't even really understand what happened and no one will tell me anything.”

Angeal place his hand on his back, “We'll find out. Where is he?”

Zack led him into the room, which had only one other occupant now and watched as Angeal drew in a slow, deep breath and sighed. “Mako poisoning. I've seen it before.”

“That was a normal first dose though, right?” Zack remembered something through the haze of last night. “They said they pretty much gave him a full dose all at once. Maybe more than a full dose. I don't even know how much a full dose is!”

“What?” Angeal asked, going to the end of the bed to look at the chart. Zack had already looked, he couldn't make heads nor tails of it. “That's ridiculous, inductions are the most spread out. Four days, maybe more if you're sensitive. All at once?”

Zack nodded. “They said after – I think after the third one? That he went like this.”

Zack watched as something in Angeal – shifted. Like watching him go from the quiet mentor to battle commander, even if there wasn't really a battle to be fought. 

There was a sudden loud _CRACK!_ from along the halls, then the sound of things jangling and hitting the ground.

Maybe he was wrong about there not being a battle.

“Angeal?” Zack asked, as there was another loud thud. 

“Genesis is getting his file,” Angeal said, replacing the chart back on the end of the bed. Then he moved up, looking like he was checking Cloud's pulse.

“I already asked last night,” Zack said. “They won't give me it.”

“I doubt you asked in the way Genesis is,” Angeal responded shortly. 

“Should we maybe do something?” There were faint voices, even though Zack was pretty sure they were shouting. 

“There's nothing to do,” Angeal said. “He's restraining himself from causing permanent damage. Under the circumstances, I don't think we can ask for more than that.”

It wasn't long before Genesis appeared at the door, slamming it with no regard for any other patient. “They said he was brought in like this!” 

“No, he wasn't,” Zack said, shaking his head. “I dropped him off after breakfast yesterday, he walked in.”

Genesis breathed in sharply, but he wasn't looking at Zack. Just to Cloud. “Meaning he was moved from here elsewhere and brought back.” 

“Why would they do that?” Zack asked, as Genesis prowled around him and bent over Cloud. He put his hands over Clouds eyes, opening them a little. “This isn't some army shit, this is –“

“This is not a preliminary dose,” Genesis said, cutting him off and looking back at Angeal. “This looks more like a Second class, dose, if not more than that. It could have killed him!”

The air went out of Zack's lungs, breathing feeling like burning in his chest. Dimly, he felt Angeal put his arm around his waist and he felt steady against a wave of dizziness, at least.

“Why is it when I hear that a station has been smashed and staff are nursing third degree burns, do I automatically know you've come storming in here having a tantrum?” The voice came from behind him. Zack thought he might know this doctor, or maybe they just met once?

“Because you're not as stupid as you look,” Genesis seethed. “I want to know what's going on.”

“Calm down,” the doctor replied.

“Don't tell me to be calm!” Genesis snapped, already moving. Zack felt Angeal move before he saw it.

“Easy,” Angeal said, placing a hand on Genesis's shoulder. “This patient –“

“Cloud Strife,” Zack said, automatically. This wasn't some nameless patient. This was Cloud.

“– Cloud Strife was called to a mako test appointment.” Angeal continued. “However, after he signed in, it seems no one can place where he was and when they did track him down, the notes say he was given several injections of high concentration and he's now in a mako coma.”

“I didn't authorise any test appointments,” the doctor replied, coming to stand near Zack. Angeal handed him the chart. “I don't recognise the name either. Are you sure?”

“No, he's faking it for attention,” Genesis snapped.

“I wouldn't bother assigning an appointment before the exams. What would be the point?” the doctor asked.

“He's applied before,” Zack said, finding his voice. 

“That wouldn't matter,” the doctor looked through. “No wonder he's in a coma. These levels should have been lethal!”

“Hollander,” Angeal said, as a fresh wave of foggy fear settled into Zack.

“I didn't sign off on this,” Hollander said. “What possible interest would I have in a SOLDIER applicant that can't hold his mako?”

Zack had to stop himself from screaming at him, and by the looks of it, Genesis was getting ready to set him on fire. Zack wasn't sure if he moved, if it would be stop him or thank him.

“If not you, then who?” Angeal asked. “Not many people are allowed to handle those injections.”

“True,” Hollander said. “If it wasn't administered here, it wasn't by my staff.”

“What other staff would it be?” Zack asked, looking around the room. They knew something, he realised. There was something they weren't telling him. Even the doctor – Hollander – seemed to know why they were reacting that way. “What's going on?”

“Not right now,” Angeal said, quietly.

“Yes, right now!” Zack said, firmly. “I'm not your mentee anymore, I'm your partner. Stop pushing me out. I deserve to know what's going on!”

“Yes,” Genesis's voice was tight. “He does.”

“Gen –“ Angeal started.

“How is he supposed to know how to protect himself if you coddle him?” Genesis snapped. “Of course he wouldn't need to protect himself if you would get out of the way and let me tear the bastard into _pieces_ –“

“You know the president won't allow that,” Angeal said. “You're just going to end up confined to quarters again, or worse, put on hold for a psychiatric review like last time you actually tried.”

“Fuck the president,” Genesis was practically growling. “I don't need a review, I didn't need one last time either. Trying set the professor on fire might the most sane action I've ever taken.”

“As much as I'd enjoy him on fire,” Hollander sighed. ”I don't want to get stuck with you for three days anymore than you want to get stuck with me. I will go find who admitted him.” 

“Guys,” Zack said, firmly. “I just want to know what's going on.”

“Zack, why don't you and Genesis go get some fresh air?” Angeal said. “I've got my PHS, I'll message you if anything changes or there's any news. I think you could both use stretching your legs.”

Angeal and Genesis had one of their silent conversations, the kind where they just seemed to stare at each other until Genesis looked away with a huff.

“I knew when you wanted a puppy I was going to end up walking him,” Genesis muttered, stopping only to briefly card his fingers through Cloud's hair. “Fine. Hollander, I suggest you go find who decided to hand him over and fire them before I do, because I will take the word literally.”

“Gen,” Angeal said. “Go cool off. You're no use to anyone wound this tight.”

“You owe me an explanation,” Zack reminded Angeal, taking a few steps. Ten, fifteen minutes and he'd be back. Angeal would stay with Cloud, he would be safe with him. 

“I haven't forgotten,” Angeal said. “When you come back, I promise.”

Zack was going to hold him to that. If someone had hurt Cloud deliberately, there was going to be hell to pay.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for how exposition heavy this may be, but for the sake of Zack and the plot, it's sorely needed. It's more obvious this was part of a larger chapter, but hopefully it's still enjoyable.

“I don't need to go outside! I need to go back down to medical!”

To his credit, Zack Fair was putting up quite the fight against Genesis's arm. Not that it mattered. While the sullen struggle made walking him upstairs awkward, unlike Zack, Genesis had nearly a decade of First class under his belt and if he insisted upon being dragged, so be it. 

The more distance between themselves and medical, the more time Angeal had to convince Hollander that a mako coma did not require Cloud remaining in medical. Mako would keep him in stasis regardless of his location and since Shinra would not want to needlessly pay for a pointless stay in medical, Angeal – responsible, levelheaded and experienced Angeal – would volunteer to take over his care and 'wrangle' his more impulsive partners as he had just 'proved' he could do. Zack was not yet as well versed in the nuances of how they could work in tandem with a well placed word or tantrum to get what they wanted, but he was still new to the class and their relationship – he would learn. 

There just wasn't time to explain it. 

Right now, the priorities were to remove Cloud from medical since they couldn't guarantee his safety there and to try to check the mako balance in his blood – a task for which Sephiroth would have been more suited given his lifetime of experience with it but he had not returned the night before. Genesis hadn't believed he would, but it didn't make the growing mix of anxiety and fury in the back of his mind any easier to deal with. Hojo was a sadistic, controlling and overbearing bastard and if anyone had the pull to remove Cloud from medical without being seen and make sure that Sephiroth would not be able to intervene, it was him. The whole situation reeked of his greasy fingerprints and that meant running interference would be necessary. 

Genesis led Zack up to one of the ledges, rarely used save for administrative staff on a cigarette break and let go of him. “Take a few deep breaths,” he instructed him, because damn Angeal for his coddling and damn him even more for leaving the harshness of reality to be explained by him, of all people. “A little fresh air will do you good.”

“I wouldn't call it fresh,” Zack mumbled with an impressive amount of derision for the usual ball of sunshine and puppies. 

“I'm not even sure it qualifies as air,” Genesis admitted. There was a tang of mako in the atmosphere even here, but this nook was one of several with minimal surveillance coverage and where they were unlikely to be disturbed. "We make do."

“Okay,” Zack said, brushing his red rimmed eyes. “I'm calm. See how calm I am? We can go back down now.”

Genesis shook his head. “No, we can't.”

“Why not?” Zack demanded explosively. “If this is some way of trying to delay explaining what it is you know, because you know something, all of you, then it's a shitty thing to do. I deserve to know – you said it yourself!”

“I did,” Genesis nodded. “Why else do you think we're here? This is not a conversation to be had for every medical staffer, traitor and turk to listen in on. It's private.”

“Why would there be cameras in medical rooms?” Zack asked. “Doesn't that go against privacy laws?”

“Who exactly would you like to report the breach of privacy to?” Genesis laid his palms up, gesturing around. “Look out there, at Sector 0, at Midgar, at half the Planet if we're honest about it. Find me an authority Shinra doesn't own, bribe, blackmail or smear enough that it's inconsequential and I'll gladly point out their egregious trespasses on patient privacy.”

For a moment, it looked as if Zack may say something then it merely fizzled out as he breathed out. “I've been here for seven years. How do I not know this stuff?”

“Have you ever tried to keep a secret before?” Genesis asked. 

Zack seemed to consider it. “I guess not.”

“Then you would have no reason to go looking,” Genesis reasoned. 

Zack, for lack of a better term, seemed to crumble and sit down on the undoubtedly filthy floor. It had clearly been no more of an easy night for him than for them. “I'm just that stupid?”

Oh, no. Pep talks were not his specialty. This was all going to go horribly. 

Genesis kneeled down, letting his hands fall in his lap and cursing the feeling of pressure on his knees. Angeal was right, they were getting old. 

“If it helps at all,” he said, his voice lowering. “We didn't believe it either at first. Sephiroth tried to explain it many times and we thought it was just Sephiroth being – well, Sephiroth but even more so since he was perhaps fourteen at the time and had even less grasp of social convention than he does now. I believe Angeal compared him to one of the doomsayers you get below the plate that say Shinra watches your every move.”

“My every move isn't that interesting,” Zack shrugged. “Really, I'm a pretty normal guy. Why watch me?”

“You're a SOLDIER First Class. That's the very opposite of normal.” If Genesis were to consider himself as normal, it would be a grand insult to his own achievements and he would jump off this ledge. “I could smack Angeal into the middle of next week for not explaining this in a more detailed way, but you do understand that all of this is an exchange, do you not? An exchange you agreed to at fourteen, but you did agree as did we. There are few, if any, people left on the planet with the power at your fingertips. Thousands of people want to be like you, they want to know everything about you, they want to love you or hate you but they are not indifferent to you. Shinra can and will find ways to monetise that, no matter how you see yourself. The degree in which you allow it and the balance between satisfying the beast and retaining some control over your life is as yet undetermined. You're too new.”

“And Cloud?” Zack asked.

“I'm not sure,” Genesis admitted. “It could be any number of things. While I have attempted to keep my more overt attentions private and you're handsy with everyone so it's hardly overt that you're in a relationship, I don't think either would bring him to any untoward attention in that way.”

“This isn't about whether or not they know we're dating,” Zack said, moving his hands for emphasis. “They don't try to kill people for that!”

“As a rule, no. ” Genesis struggled for his words. “Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul.”

Zack huffed. “I don't know what that means!”

“It means – oh, I am the very worst person to do this.” Genesis let the sounds of their breath in the warm air be the only sounds for a few moments. “Tell me – have you met the head of the Science department?”

Zack paused. “I think so. Dismissed me as an idiot, if I remember right.”

Was idiot better than reject or failure? Fuck Hojo, he and Angeal were neither no matter what he said on a regular basis. Neither was Zack so much as he seemed to romanticise his life in a way that if Genesis were more truthful with himself, he rather liked and wished he were still capable of doing. Hollander had told him once, during his induction to First class, that Hojo couldn't accept that anyone was even close to Sephiroth's level so he had to paint them as such awful things. It hadn't made it easier to hear; the first in what would be a long list of reasons he would quite like to push him off the top of the building and wait for the artistic masterpiece that was his head splattered on the ground. 

“It's likely Cloud came to his attention when Sephiroth retrieved him,” Genesis said. “To say he has something against Sephiroth mixing with his _inferiors_ would be the understatement of the century. ”

“That was what Kunsel said,” Zack replied softly. “That it was some kind of punishment for it.”

“Punishment may not be quite the word,” Genesis said. “I daresay this is the most difficult part of it all: that it isn't about Cloud at all, not really, but he has gotten caught in the crossfire. It has been an issue we have come up against, time and time again.”

“This is the Science department head?” Zack asked. “You think he did this?”

“I'm quite sure of it,” Genesis replied. “This is exactly the sort of thing he would do.”

“Then we should just go down there!” Zack was already scrambling to stand when Genesis grabbed his arm and tried to prevent him further.

Had they looked like that, ten years ago? The mix of righteous anger, fear driven anxiety and assured they could handle it all if they just confronted the man? After all, Hojo was one man. They were intensely powerful. What could he really do to them? They had been sure of themselves, of their own power, he remembered that so vividly; but here they were a decade later with little much changed. 

_Some hero you are,_ something acidic whispered to him from the depths of his mind. It burnt like bile in his throat, momentarily preventing him from explaining any of this to a clearly panicked Zack who thought he had just found someone to let all of this – this _helplessness_ even if he was loathe to call it that – out on who truly deserved it and was being dragged back by Genesis for no good reason.

“There is nothing you can do to that man,” Genesis told him, trying not to feel dirty inside as he admitted it. “He has the ear of the president and whatever SOLDIER else has become, the mako in your veins and in my own, in Cloud's now, it all happened because of him. The president values him above almost anyone else and will not allow anything to happen to him.”

Zack looked at him, his mouth open a little as his eyes searched for something. “He almost killed Cloud and what, we're just supposed to sit with that?”

“Of course not,” Genesis clucked at him. “You're just running headlong into a battle with someone with no understanding of their power and scope and it will get you hurt. It's not your fault, Angeal believes it's better to try to protect that idealism and hope and I suppose I have also been complicit in that, but if you want to destroy the man who the president believes will be his road to the promised land, you must stop and think and plan.”

“I'm a SOLDIER,” Zack said, firmly. “I'm not some naïve kid. I'm not! I know sometimes the company does things that aren't great, but SOLDIER means something out there. It means something to me. If I can't even help someone I love, then – I don't have much honour, do I? What good am I?”

“I am no ones judge of their honour,” Genesis left such things to Angeal. “I don't even find you to be hopelessly naïve either. A little oblivious, perhaps. You don't know the right questions to ask.”

“So tell me,” Zack sounded steadier than he had all morning. “Tell me what I should be asking.”

And this – this was something Genesis had feared going into. Zack Fair lived with his heart on his sleeve, he poured himself into so many people and believed the best in them. To explain would be to pour cold water on some of that warmth and he could only pray it did not turn to ice in his veins and that Angeal would forgive him for doing it all.

“You should be asking where Sephiroth is,” Genesis said, softly. “As he has shown quite the clear interest in Cloud, why he is not here.”

Zack mulled it over for a moment, “I thought he had a mission.”

“Not exactly, no.” Genesis replied. This was a privacy violation and he knew it. They rarely talked of it all, not anymore, but Sephiroth was perhaps more beholden to the company than any of them. It was the only life he had ever known. “Do you remember when you came into the VR room and to avoid sending me down to medical, he broke his finger? Do you remember that we said as long as no one from medical or the labs got involved, it was fine. I'm afraid part of this is my fault – I was not fast enough to wipe the footage and Sephiroth – he is supposed to be unbreakable. They are now involved.”

“Even being a First Class doesn't give you steel for bones,” Zack said. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Any injuries are supposed to be reported to Hojo. Sephiroth has always been his domain and his alone. We did not report it nor do we ever if we can get away with it, even if Hollander is mildly more tolerable.” Genesis ducked his head, irate with himself for not acting more swiftly. “As such, it's likely he's – angry. Sephiroth was called down yesterday and has not returned. It's not commonplace but not unusual when the professor is feeling particularly vindictive. This, combined with Cloud's attack and that it's likely he saw Cloud being brought up largely naked, it points to Hojo being his usual sadistic bastard self about it all.”

Zack blinked at him, “He's still there?”

“I believe so,” Genesis said.

“So lets go!” Zack said, trying to pull Genesis up by his arm. “However much the President loves this guy, Sephiroth kind of _is_ Shinra. If he's in trouble then surely–“

“Zack,” Genesis stopped him, before he spiraled. “Who do you think signs off on all of this?”

“No, why would he –“ Zack stared at him, before there was an uptick in his breathing. “Why?”

“Hojo – how he puts it is that he created Sephiroth. That the experimentation and training throughout his entire life has made him into Shinra's greatest asset.” It bordered on revealing too much. Sephiroth wouldn't thank him for going into his private life so much but their relationship could weather it. Zack needed to be prepared. “When we first met, I – used to say he was like a machine that needed to be programmed but no one had told him he was one so he went about trying to be a person and failing at it.”

Zack drew back, “That's horrible.”

“I can be horrible,” Genesis shrugged. That much was true, even if it had come from a place of jealousy and rejection. “It's hardly an excuse for my bruised ego. While he is still stuck with Hojo for medical related things, it was worse when we were young. Some of it I have no right to discuss – Angeal would call me dishonourable at best for doing so behind his back – but I want you to understand the level of power this man has on arguably the most powerful person on the planet in addition to his sway over Shinra. I want you to understand that when – _when_ – Cloud wakes up, it's likely he will have some trauma to work through and may not want to stay here. Not that I suppose he'll have the choice anymore. Once the mako is in your veins, you become somewhat reliant on Shinra and they will think they own you.”

“They don't own me,” Zack said, and there was a surprising amount of anger in it. Good: he would need that.

“Remember that,” Genesis told him softly. “You may need them, but they also need you. Learn your own power and how to wield it, because you will need it if you want to make the professor pay. Understand?”

Zack nodded slowly. Good enough.

“I'm not sure what you know of our first months here, but we were – pulled out of basic training fairly quickly. I've always had raw magical talent and Angeal has always been an exceptional fighter. We had been wiping the floor with SOLDIER Third classes even before our enhancements and people were getting excited about it. Then Sephiroth returned from a tour and more than my ego got a little bruised. Angeal connected with him first, but he struggled on a person level to connect in any meaningful way. For example, he would ask him if he'd like to have dinner, very few people could match Angeal's cooking even then but he declined every time. It was upsetting for Angeal and thus, upsetting to me. It wasn't until we were in Wutai together that we became privy to the reason why – his meals were designed for him, not just in the field but at home. Blood sugar, weight, they were monitored on a weekly basis back then and if he had accepted Angeal's offer, his results would have gone haywire and there would have been trouble.”

“He doesn't have that now,” Zack said. “I've seen him eating Angeal's cooking.”

“Oh, he was 'gifted' that after a few years; the choice of his own meals and clothes as long as he remains within the bodily percentiles and looks good,” Genesis explained. “Does that explain the level of control he had – in some cases, has – over his life? They can throw Sephiroth at Wutai and let him get called a boy demon, but goddess help him if he had a slice or two of chocolate cake. Now it's only at select points if there are reasons such as his broken finger, annually and before and after missions. This is normal for us, even if I'm quite aware it isn't normal at all.”

“It's a PR thing?” Zack asked.

Genesis shook his head, “It's a control 'thing'. After all, when inviting a wild creature into your home to protect your interests, do you not first collar it in case it turns on you?”

“I'm not sure wild creature is better than machine,” Zack said.

“No, but perhaps more apt.” There had always been violence in his skin, buzzing below the surface, something passionate and intense that came out when he was in the thick of slaughter that could be considered unhinged if it weren't so controlled. “I love him to the very depths of my soul, but I have spent many, many battles with him and I know what he is capable of. Shinra may not completely understand, but they have enough of an inkling that they want to believe they have it all under control and that usually means treating him more like one of Scarlet's weapons than a SOLDIER.”

“Aren't you and Angeal supposed to be close to that?” Zack asked.

Genesis fought the desire to preen at that. “As close as anyone, but Hojo's opinion of our relationship is that one does not exist. From what I've gathered, he seems to be the assumption he needs a hole to fuck and we're not as breakable as most people.” 

“So if he knew he was interested in Cloud–” Zack started. “What was he trying to do?”

“Honestly, it could be one of several things.” Genesis tried to distance himself but found that the idea of even thinking of that troll was abhorent. “Cloud is the first unenhanced person he's shown interest in, so perhaps a warped curiosity. Or it's possible he deemed Cloud so unremarkable that he thought it better to end his life than have to deal with them having some sort of relationship. Then there is the possibility he had no issue with them having some sort of relationship and this is his twisted minds way of making sure Cloud can – if you'll excuse the crassness of it – take it without being killed in the process.”

Zack stared at him blankly for a moment. “That's fucked up.”

“It's all fucked up, my dear.” Genesis snorted. “Welcome to First class. We're all a bit of a mess, but at least we're pretty while we're at it.”

Zack's reaction was the utterly lack of reaction. It seemed he didn't know quite what to do with that. “How long has this stuff been happening?”

“At least as long as we've been here, but if you'd like to subject yourself to some vivid nightmares, you can ask him about his humans rights abuse of a childhood.” Genesis explained. “I recommend not doing so sober.”

“And no one says anything about it?” Zack asked.

“People go missing to and from the labs all the time, it has quite the reputation. One of the reasons Wutai soldiers tend to prefer to die over capture – turks or Science is not a pleasant choice.” Genesis could hardly blame them. “I asked Lazard about it once, back when I first found out some of the extent of it. That most of what goes on here is a secret in plain sight, unquestioned by those who don't know what to look for.”

“What did he say?” Zack asked, again.

“Some company lines, the elevators are notorious for surveillance.” Genesis replied. “I didn't know that then. I believe I told him that I thought one day, Sephiroth was going to hit a limit and when he did so, I'm not sure if it would be more appropriate to try to stop him or hand him enough materia to raze it all to the ground. Slowly, I came to realise that many announcements for killed in action or people being sent home were false. No bodies or they never arrived. That conversations I had in private were suddenly on forums and fansites. There were other warning signs, ones I missed at the time but in retrospect, I understood but that is the nature of the beast. Honestly, I'm surprised your little gossip isn't dead yet for this very reason.”

“If that's true–“ Zack seemed to stiffen. “If that's what this is, then someone should know. There has to be someone. The press–“

“Controlled by Shinra,” Genesis replied. “You will struggle to find anything they don't monopolise for the greater good of the planet – well, greater good of Rupert Shinra and the planets if the two align.”

“Then why would Angeal stay?” Zack asked – demanded, really. “No way he would be part of that.”

It probably said something about Genesis that Zack instantly believed Angeal would never be involved with such a thing, but has no issue believing Genesis himself would It was true, they were both still here, but he was also surprised to find a prickle of something sad at the idea someone who saw the best in others had no issue thinking of him that way. 

“Angeal would say that we bring honour to SOLDIER by enacting it ourselves, by holding ourselves to the standards of altruism that the company projects, but does not encompass. That SOLDIER can be both the personal army of a man mired in avarice and an inspiration and beacon of hope as long as we do that. That we owe it to the men and women we serve with to try.” It was easier to say what Angeal believed than what he did at least. 

“Do you believe that?” Zack asked.

“I believe that people dislike an unpalatable truth and will turn a blind eye to many things in exchange for the power and prestige Shinra offers,” Genesis replied. “You cannot warn people because they won't listen until it's too late. All there is left is to try to rewrite your own narrative in a way you can live with.”

“I don't know if I can,” Zack admitted quietly. “I hate this guy and I barely know him. I hate the president for being happy to sign off on any of this. There are good people – at least, I thought they were good people. How am I supposed to just be okay knowing something could happen to them?”

“If I knew the answer, I would have done it already,” Genesis told him. “Hoard the people you love more closely than riches and protect them as best you can.”

“That didn't help Cloud,” Zack said.

“No,” Genesis admitted. “It didn't.”

  
Colour drained from Zack's face and he seemed to almost shake his head, then thought better of it. “He's not going to get away with this,” he said, voice tight and hoarse. “I wouldn't care if he was the president himself. I won't let him anywhere near Cloud ever again.”

“On this, we agree.” Genesis let go of his arm, watching Zack take a moment he seemed to sorely need. “However – don't lose your temper, I'm agreeing with you – if you want to end Hojo, there is one person who deserves the first shot. While we've always been tentative about asking him about such mutinous thoughts because Hojo for lack of a better term did raise him, it's time to draw lines. It was time years ago, but we were never sure what side of that line he would end up on. The company has always been his life.”

“Are you sure now?” Zack asked.

“No,” Genesis admitted, after a beat. “I wish I were more certain, but I know we cannot risk something like this happening again and between deployments, there isn't always someone here. Even when they are, as this proved, it can still happen. I don't know exactly what Sephiroth will think or want to do with this, but I also know that to act without at least his knowledge if not his consent could tear us apart and Hojo knows that. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of it.”

“Me neither,” Zack said, blinking at him. “You want to wait till he comes back, right?”

“I do,” Genesis said, even if most of him was screeching that Zack's original plan to go down there and shred the bastard was extremely inviting. “I think he put his filthy claws over Cloud less than twelve hours after we decided to date him. If this doesn't move him to finally agree action must be taken, I don't know what will.”

On the way to the apartments, Genesis was pleased to see Angeal holding Cloud in a bridal carry. Zack shuffled in after him and Angeal looked between them.

“We have come to an agreement,” Genesis said, looking to Zack who was instantly crowding around Cloud to look at him. “It's time.”

“It's time,” Angeal agreed, with a nod. Of course he already knew what it meant. They had spoken of it alone enough times, wondering what would happen if such a time came as they could no longer abide Hojo and his minions. 

Genesis took the moment to look at Cloud. Still no shift but it had not even been a day. There would be nothing they could do for him now until he came to. 

“Fear not,” he cooed quietly at him, threading his fingers through his cold, slack hands as if he could change it from touch alone. “There is no hate, only joy for you are beloved by the goddess.”

There was no response, but for now, none was needed. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have cycled around to Cloud's POV, so please mind the tags. I've tried not to be too graphic with it, but due to the nature of the chapter, there is still a lot of potentially troublesome things ahead so take of yourselves with this one.
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to [AimeeLouWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AimeeLouWrites/pseuds/AimeeLouWrites) because like almost every one of her chapters, I had to take many breaks to walk around and process before continuing. Their support for this turning from a small meet-not-so-cute to a slightly large bring on the revolution fic has been truly inspiring so huge kudos and thanks. If you too would like to feel emotionally wrung out and laugh in the next breath, I thoroughly recommend taking the time to go and read some of their work.

“Let go!” Cloud screamed, hitting out with his elbows as hard as he could as he was being pushed into some kind of chair. The people pulling at him were strong, looking like the kind of hired goons you'd expect to find working for a crime boss below plate and probably just as smart. As one bent down to some kind of restraint on his leg, he kicked out hard and as Zack had found out, he kicked _hard._

There was a satisfying crunch. 

Then something hit him hard at the side of his head, so hard he saw blotches dancing in front of his eyes and felt himself heave, spattering whatever was left from breakfast over himself and the guy who had just pushed him down. 

The last thing he heard before everything went dark was someone sounding irate about 'damaging a specimen'.

_(“Nothing interesting,” a voice declared. His chest hurt, breathing hurt everything hurt. “Close up.”)_

The ceiling looked different. 

It probably wasn't the most intelligent comment Cloud could make upon waking up but given he didn't really remember falling asleep in the first place and definitely didn't remember lying down, it did seem noteworthy that it didn't look right. Maybe it wasn't that weird he'd fallen asleep, medical had really put him through his paces on every test he could think of five more for good measure but his mind was foggy. There might have been some kind of sleeping test involved but it was hard to wrap his mind around the idea he didn't remember being asked.

It wasn't just the ceiling. The medical suite he had been in was well lit, even if he'd been moved around to different places to get different tests but this room was dim and grey. The main lights were in the corners, cold white but they barely seemed to illuminate the corrugated metal walls he could see opposite. Looking to either side wasn't of much use either, there were murky green medical screens blocking his view. 

Blinking to try and adjust to his surroundings, Cloud realised there was also a lot of machinery around him – had he been sick? Had some of his results come back badly? Did he have some kind of reaction and that was why he was struggling to remember? 

There was a metal table in front of him that looked like it belonged in some dentist related nightmare, not a medical suite but he couldn't get a good look from his vantage point. This wasn't a bed, but some kind of chair and when he pushed down, he could feel some kind of pedals or a foot rest or something. There was something else too, but he couldn't figure it out. It was no use, he needed a better a look to jog his memory so he tried to move his elbows back from the arm rests to push himself up but – 

He couldn't.

Cloud looked down owlishly at the arm rests – no, not arm rests but some kind of black tubes where arm rests would be and they were gripping his arms in place right up to his elbows. Cloud tried to pull at them, but all he felt was the edges digging into his skin. Then he tried to sit up, arching his back as much as he could but now he could feet it, something across his thighs and around both ankles and no matter how much he tried to turn to the side or squirm his way loose, nothing was working and he felt his pulse slamming in his throat.

The noise from the machines that surrounded him also changed, so he was at least pretty sure they were monitoring him. The beeps were probably his heartbeat but he couldn't see what was on the screens, they were all turned away from him. There was a plastic peg clipped onto his finger that he could feel more than see so he angled his hand up so he could get a look. There it was on his fingers, but there was something going into his hand via two tubes taped. Again, panic set in and the machines began to echo with beeps and alarms as he fought to try and get himself under control because shit, he had a good idea now of where he was, the only place that made any kind of sense and he needed to get out of here now.

 _The lab._

Spoken of in hushed tones like a boogeyman, somewhere you never wanted to find yourself and naturally, this is where Cloud had wound up.

Just his luck. 

That was when he realised parts of him ached and stung. Without movement, he couldn't really get a proper look at himself but what he could see of the tools beside the bed were tinges of what looked like crusted dry blood. Once he saw it, he realised he could smell it in the air. There was also the smell of something else, something sour and rancid. 

Outside the room, there was a metallic screech and then what sounded like an animal screaming. Gods, he hoped that was an animal because he didn't want to know what would make a human being make that noise.

Enough panic. There had to be something he could do, because whatever was happening out there, he wasn't going to be next. How long had he been here? Judging by the fact he couldn't be an hour late to a date without Zack – or Sephiroth if it was anything like yesterday – coming to find him, not that long. Then again, they wouldn't know where he was, would they? Where even were the labs in comparison to medical? Shinra wasn't exactly forthcoming on the subject, especially not to army grunts.

There were footsteps coming, so maybe someone had been watching him. A glance around the room and yes, in the middle, comically large cameras. So he did what anyone would do in his situation and he did his best to flip off from his restrained position. A doctor, or what he figured was a doctor given the look of them came in and stopped by one of the machines, inputting something into what looked like a tablet.

“What are you doing?” Cloud croaked, suddenly aware of how much his throat ached. Running his tongue over his lips and they were dry, peeling and cracked. 

They glanced at him briefly, “Subject responsive at thirteen hundred.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

They didn't even look up. “Responsive and vocal. Movement in extremities, no signs of debilitation.”

“Why wouldn't I be be able to move?” Cloud thought back to the stings and aches. “What did you do?!”

There was no response, they just started to do something with the machines that he couldn't see and walked out as if he hadn't spoken at all. 

Cloud let out a grunt of frustration and tried to at least get a look at what was being pumped into him. It was hard to twist that way and a wave of dizziness hit him hard enough he needed to lay back down, feeling the back of the chair against his head.

_(”– into shock already,” the voice said. “Below average.”_

_“– to do?” A different voice._

_“Wait,” the voice, that voice, the first voice said. “I doubt there'll be anything interesting, but if he shows anything tonight, just put him in one of the specimen tanks. Now, I have more important work to do.”)_

Cloud woke with a metallic taste in his mouth, like he'd lost a tooth or bitten the inside of his cheek. Running his tongue around his mouth didn't help, there were no bumps or missing teeth to tip him off as to why. 

When he looked around, it wasn't the bright lights of medical. If anything, there was almost no light here. It made everything look dark and grungy. Had he had a bad reaction to his mako test? Was this some far part of medical, somewhere people could recover if they had photosensitivity or something? There seemed to be a lot of machines surrounding him, so maybe something had gone wrong. There was a steady beep that he could guess was probably a heart monitor and when he tried to lift his head, he did feel dizzy and sick. 

Where were his clothes or his PHS? Zack had to be freaking out somewhere. They definitely missed lunch. Cloud tried to sit up and couldn't, he couldn't seem to move his arms from some kind of grips that were keeping him in place. So he tried to swing his feet round and hissed when his leg _hurt_. A dull ache of pain and something wet trickling down, making him squirm and which in turn was making it hurt more. 

This isn't medical, Cloud realised with a start. There was really only one place he could be and that was Shinra's infamous Science department. When had he gotten here? The last thing he could remember clearly was having blood taken, but that was in medical. How was he here? The beeps and squawks of the equipment became more insistent as he felt panic build. 

He had to get out of here – now!

Then someone in a white jacket appeared by the dimly lit medical screens, reaching around to look at his monitors. Cloud tried to push himself around to at least see what they were typing in.

“Who are you people?” Cloud croaked out. “I'm supposed to be in medical! Why am I here?”

“Subject responsive and vocal at sixteen hundred,” the other person said. “Movements more restricted, pain levels likely elevated.”

“More restricted than what?” Cloud growled. “How would you know? I've never been down here before!”

That seemed to make them pause and look at him, “You have no memory of coming here?”

“No!” Cloud insisted. This was a mistake. It was all a mistake.

“Potential damage resulting in memory loss from the blow to the head or a side effect of shock,” the person said, then just walked right out. 

What blow to the head? Why was he in shock? Cloud pulled hard again at the restraints keeping him in place, but they had no give no matter how hard he just pulled hard. There was a sudden blinding pain, before things went fuzzy. 

_(”Go and prep the OR,” the voice said. “I only have a few minutes to spare, this had better be worth my time.”)_

”This is what you call interesting?” the voice – the man said. Long haired, glasses and looking at him in a way that made his skin crawl. “Some burst stitches and low memory retention?”

“Lack of memory retention in subjects exposed to mako has made highly suggestible subjects,” another voice said. 

“Strong subjects! Not this pathetic child,” the man said and Cloud felt his hair being grabbed and his head forced back with the man looking him right in the eyes. “The dose was so small, I can't see a visible difference. Weak in every sense! This is what SOLDIER is being reduced to? I should have known when they inducted a mere human into First Class this is what would happen, it's disgusting.”

Human? That was...Zack, he realised. Is he talking talking about Zack? 

Cloud reacted on instinct, he let his mouth fill and spat as hard as he could into the mans glasses. His expression changed, something between a smile and a sneer settling on his face as he let Cloud's head go and cleaned off his glasses. 

“What should we do with him, Professor?” the other voice – another doctor maybe – said.

“Give him what he wants,” the man – the Professor said. “If he thinks he's worthy of it, prepare the times and dosages from the S01 files.”

“Sir?” came an almost timid response. “If the subject is having a severe reaction to minor dosages, S01 timings and doses will kill him.”

“Inform me when he expires,” The professor walked away and didn't look back. “Perhaps he'll prove more interesting once he's dissected, but I doubt it.”

 _Expires?_ Cloud thought, feeling his heart beating in his throat. 

No, no, no, no, he couldn't die down here. Not when things were finally changing. Not when he had just decided to write home to Mom and tell her he had a boyfriend, not when he'd just agreed on trying to date not only Zack, but Genesis, Angeal and Sephiroth. Things were getting better! For the first time in years, he had begun to feel something hopeful, like maybe he wasn't as useless as everyone thought, like he might not be nothing but a mouthy troublemaker who didn't deserve to be here.

“Don't,” Cloud insisted, the glowing liquid in the syringe enough to make him try uselessly to get out again. “Don't!”

No one listened.

No one listened when they came back a second time, either.

“ _Stop!_ ” Cloud wheezed. His voice sounded wet, and to his own embarrassment, he could feel tears beginning to streak down his cheeks as his eyes burned.

Just when he was finding a life that made him happy, with people that made him happy, it was all going to slip out of his fingers. Right at the moment he felt like life was going to be worth living, he was going to lose his and no one would ever know. This was the labs, so he would just end up on some missing list if he even ended up named. Grunts weren't, not really. Mom would never know what happened to him, he would never see Tifa again, he was never going to hear Zack laugh again, he was never going to feel Genesis running his hands over his and he was never going to even get a chance with his partners to see how he felt. No dinners with Angeal, no more impromptu fighting with Sephiroth, no more movie nights or – no more anything.

By the time there was a third time, all Cloud could think of was to apologise to any of the gods that would listen. Then he felt something tugging at his consciousness, pulling him in like the tide out to sea. Struggling uselessly against it, all he could think was even when his only job was to keep himself alive, he couldn't even do that right.

_(”You can't bring him back, the treatment isn't finished!”_

_“Orders from upstairs!”_

_“The professor is not going to like this! There'll be trouble!”)_

As soon as Cloud felt he had come up for air, like the darkness lightened somehow, whispy hands grasped his ankles and pulled him back down again.

_(“You're going to wake up, do you hear me?” Zack's voice, but it felt so far away, like a voice barely coming through on a staticy radio.)_

The first conscious thought Cloud could grab onto long enough to process it was that death didn't feel so bad. His thoughts seemed to float by, slipped away as he tried to grab them, but ultimately, not as awful as he thought. It was louder than he imagined, the sounds of voices and movements around him were kind of giving him a headache. 

Was it possible to get a headache if he probably didn't have a head anymore? 

Not if he'd been dissected. 

There was a green haze over everything, like swimming in deep water where he could just about make out the shadows of things around him but not enough to make sense of what they were. Voices blended together and it kind of felt almost like floating, but he could feel the ice in at his feet threatening to pull him further down to the depths no matter how close the surface felt.

For just a second, he could have sworn he felt Zack messing up his hair.

_(”You're sure you want to take responsibility for him?”_

_“I'm sure,” and there was something – was he moving? “If anything changes, I'll make sure someone brings him down.”)_

Cloud decided he probably wasn't dead, largely because he was struggling to remember why he thought he was. 

The creeping feeling that something had happened to make him think that was there, but no solid reason. That was when he realised that he was lying something comfortable with a blanket around him. There were still voices that felt too far away, but slowly, as if his ears were unblocking from coming down from a high altitude, he realised he could hear Zack talking to him. It was in and out, snippets of something that sounded serious, something he was apologising for, then he was smiling and animatedly throwing his arms around.

Any time he tried to move or respond, his body felt like he was stuck in quicksand. Every time he tried to push himself to do something, his body just wouldn't move. Even by the time he realised that he was lying on some kind of makeshift bed on one of Genesis's couch, he still couldn't figure out how to move enough to tell Zack he was awake and Zack was so absorbed in talking about something to do with giving a class he was taking too much sugar that he didn't seem to notice.

“Ugk!” 

Apparently, he was able to force out a noise even if made his throat feel like it was on fire.

“Cloud?!”

At once, Zack stopped his story and moved to sit next to him, grabbing his hands so tightly that he could feel the sweat on them. Probably doing too many squats. It was a little gross, but he could feel himself starting to get panicky and he tried to damp it down. There was nothing to be afraid of. It was just Zack. He was here with Zack.

“What happened?” 

Cloud tried to move around to look at the direction of the voice, but even making a noise had been so tiring he was feeling sleep clawing at him.

“I was telling him about my Thirds bouncing off the wall on Tuesday and he groaned!” Zack exclaimed, leaning back to show Genesis looking at him and shooing him to one side.

“You've told that story ten times in the last twenty-four hours,” Genesis exclaimed, walking up from the end of the couch and pulling the blanket up and around him fussily. “I'd groan too.”

“Hey!” Zack said, and Cloud wanted to laugh but the noise that came out was far more strangled than that. 

“Save your strength,” Genesis told him, lightly. “You'll have plenty of opportunity to laugh at the puppy later.”

Damn it, he was so tired.

If he could just rest for a minute – 

– Cloud opened his eyes and Zack wasn't on the couch anymore.

Where was he?

Instead, from the size of those thighs, that was Angeal on a laptop. Still no luck on moving, even as he strained against the invisible weight, but there was something in his arm. His stomach dropped; no, that was bad, that was – there was a reason that was bad, he had to move, he had to _move_ – 

“Cloud, it's all right.” Angeal had moved so he was kneeling in front him at some point. “Can you breathe with me if I count, like we did before?”

That sounded familiar, but – he just kept looking down at his hand.

After a beat, Angeal touched it lightly. “It's just saline, you're coming out of a mako coma and you were getting dehydrated.”

That was probably a good thing, right? That he wasn't dehydrated?

Wait, he'd been in a coma?

None of these were questions he seemed to be able to vocalise, so he instead tried to listen to Angeal's counting and breath alongside it. After a few minutes, he found that he did feel a little less sick and realised he had been blinking this whole time. It might only have been blinking, but right now, being able to move anything felt like liberation.

Suddenly Zack popped into view from behind the couch, bending over to get a look at him.

“Hey,” he said. There was something off about his voice, actually, he didn't look – he looked worried. “Any better?”

“Much more focus and control this time,” he heard Angeal say. “Not out of the woods, but better. Much better.”

Zack nodded rapidly, but he still looked upset.

“– ack?”

The shift was immediate, as Zack's mouth dropped open and he laughed, high and startled before he reached down to grab Cloud's hands. “Yeah! I'm here, I'm right here. Don't you go anywhere!”

Cloud stared at him: where exactly was he going to go? He could barely move or speak and even now, he felt like it was taking everything out of him just to just to stay awake.

“Let him rest,” Angeal said, softly. “It's been a rough few days, he's going to need his strength back.”

“You do,” Zack said, squeezing his hand tight enough it hurt a little. “I'll be right here when you wake up, okay? We have a lot to talk about.”

With the feeling of Zack's hand clasped tight on his own and the sound of Angeal's breathing close by, Cloud stopped fighting sleep. They would still be there, even if he was sleeping and right now, this was as close to safe as he could feel.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with this one, the fic finally catches up to itself and is the other half of Zack's POV! I'll warn for both Zack's bad anxiety and upset during this chapter (dude has been through a lot lately) and some potentially upsetting discussions about the Wutai war.

Zack's problem was that he'd never actually been all that smart. There were plenty of things he was great at! Good at thinking on his feet, resourceful, determined and he could connect with people easily which meant he could diffuse things before they got ugly most of the time. While he could figure out situations when he was flung into them, the whole trying to outmaneuver people by thinking strategically and planning out several moves ahead of time just wasn't his style. Adaptability and quick thinking always felt like they worked for him more than trying to outthink someone else. 

The thing was, that wasn't really going to help him with the ever spiraling mess his life seemed to be turning into. If he didn't feel so damn angry every time he thought about what happened with Cloud, he was pretty sure he would just want to curl up into a little ball somewhere until it stopped feeling like a crushing weight on his chest and throat. There was just no time to sit down somewhere and feel sorry for himself or guilty or lost. If he did that now, it was probably going to be a while before he could pick up the pieces and those pieces were needed to help figure out what to do next.

They had gathered in Genesis's on Wednesday morning since it had been the most recently checked for anything that could be monitoring them. Which was a really common thing, apparently! Not that it had stopped the methodical checking of the place once they'd gotten Cloud as comfortable as possible on the couch, but he was just watching them go about doing it because he had no real idea of what to look for or where to look. It all made him feel completely useless. There was nothing he could do for Cloud, there was nothing he could do to help make sure there was a safe place to talk and it was taking him to jiggle on the balls of his feet and fidget just to stop himself from from going after Sephiroth. 

The idea he was still stuck down there where Cloud was and Cloud was so far from okay, it just made his skin crawl.

“I don't even know where to start,” Zack admitted. 

“Information will be paramount,” Genesis replied, once they had taken up seats at the breakfast bar. It didn't seem like he was really reading through the file he'd managed to rustle up in the medical department so much as he was turning the pages for some kind of dramatic effect. “No matter what path we take. The most ideal route would be to find something that undermines the presidents faith in Hojo and thus, he won't care if he dies.”

“There is an unknown there,” Angeal said quietly, his hands wrapped around a mug of something that had to be cold by now. “We don't know how Sephiroth is going to feel about any of this.”

“You've never asked before?” Zack found that hard to believe. Even from just a couple of hours of knowing this minimal amount about this stuff, it was now easy to pick out that they were both agitated and upset. They had been on Tuesday morning too, but he just put it down to nerves over the new relationship shift or something else but they knew something bad would happen. 

They just didn't know something bad would also happen to Cloud too.

“Of course we have, but it's always the same answer.” Genesis huffed indignantly. “He says there's no point in talking about it. Historically, such attempts on the mad bad scientist have not gone well and between the house of horrors in the laboratory and the presidents protections, he's not an easy person to get to and even less easy to justify killing without burning it all down.”

“I thought you were always in favour of burning things down,” Zack said.

Genesis raised his eyebrows, but smiled. “It has become more appealing.”

“No one is burning anything,” Angeal put his mug on the table like this was the deciding factor. “There's too many innocent people who could get caught in the crossfire, it could spread and endanger people on the plate or below it. It'll be hard enough to justify it to the president without taking half a lab down with it.”

“Is there something that would work to get the president on side for this?” Zack asked. 

“I don't know,” Angeal said. “I think it's the sort of thing that needs some digging into, but we would need to carry on as normal so as not to raise any alarms. Take missions where we may be able to find something, if possible.”

“I don't want to leave Cloud alone,” Zack said, quietly. Right now, he couldn't think of missions. Nor classes. Nor much else other than the suffocating feeling that was building in his throat.

“We won't,” Angeal promised. “There is often a First at home just in case someone makes an attempt on the President.”

“There is your simpler answer,” Genesis said, drawing idly with his finger across the table. “We do not have to justify our actions to the president if he dies too.”

“ _Genesis!_ ” Angeal hissed at him.

Zack looked between them, not really sure how serious that was. Genesis had kind of a warped sense of humour.“I have a feeling you're not joking.”

“I am not,” Genesis replied coolly. “It's not as if the presidents hands are clean in all of this, he allows Hojo to work with relative impunity, he has signed off on every major project and adjustment he's asked for. He is no innocent. If he is what stands in the way, so be it.”

“It's not the same,” Angeal replied. “I know he's not an honourable man, but we aren't his judge, jury and executioners.”

Genesis shook his head slowly. “I beg your pardon, my love, but we very much are.”

“No, we aren't!” Angeal said firmly. "We're SOLDIERs."

“Have we not in that mans name killed countless people, destroyed cities and looted?” Genesis replied. “ Admittedly I don't think anyone has ever seen a jury, but the rest? The only difference is that this is aimed at him, not on his desires. ”

“That was different,” Angeal insisted. “It was war! Killing a soldier on the battlefield isn't the same as killing a civilian in cold blood.”

“And Shinra have never given an order for the deaths of civilians,” Genesis looked away, back towards the couch and maybe at Cloud. It was hard to tell.

Angeal stood up and slammed his hands onto the counter hard enough the sound reverberated through him. Zack glanced back at Cloud, but deflated when the noise hadn't made any sort of impact. 

“Don't bring Rua into this,” and wow, he sounded _pissed_. 

“Rua?” Zack asked, tentatively. 

Angeal shook his head, “We're not talking about this.”

“Not talking about it is the problem!” Genesis threw his hands up. “Not talking about it means he can't protect himself because he doesn't know what to look out for!”

“He doesn't need to watch out for that!” Angeal snapped. “It was an accident, a one off!”

“For you!” Genesis snapped back.

Angeal reared back as if Genesis had just reached across the bar and smacked him across the face. “What?”

“Nothing,” Genesis placed his fingers on the top of his nose, then waved them both off. “I fear we've gotten off topic.”

“No, not nothing,” Angeal pushed. “What does that mean?”

“It means you cannot stick your head in the sand and hope everyone out there on the Planet is going to do their very best to be a good person! It means that Wutai forces were using Rua to get supplies in because it had no military base and a civilian population,” Genesis exclaimed. “Do you really think it was accident you got sent to destroy it? After everything you've seen, after everything you know we are capable of, do you really believe that the lack of a military target would be enough to dissuade pushback? That it wasn't easier to just destroy it and claim it was an accident later?”

“I–“ Angeal seemed to stutter in place, like a bad intranet connection buffering. “It was a translation error.”

“It was an excuse!” Genesis insisted. “And I suppose that was the difference between you and I – you needed one, I did not.”

There was a long silence.

Zack didn't know what he was supposed to say to that, because yeah, accidents could happen but that really didn't sound like one. 

“I never once received another order like that,” Angeal said, softly. 

“No, you didn't,” Genesis said, with a nod.

“You did.” It wasn't a question.

“Yes.” There was no real tone to it. Just a simple, blunt response. “Shortly before I became a First. A few times after.”

Angeal glanced down at his hands, still on the bar and then up Genesis again. “Sephiroth?”

“Of course,” Genesis replied. “He already was one, after all.”

There was a beat before Angeal spoke again. 

“You've never talked about it,” he said. “Neither of you.”

“How could we?” Genesis demanded. “We both saw what Rua did to you, the way the guilt of it gnawed at you, how terrifying it was to watch you get sloppy and distracted. I – _We_ didn't want to lose you! ”

“You wouldn't have lost me,” Angeal said. “I know I struggled with it, but I wouldn't have deserted. I would have found another way.”

“I don't mean desertion, darling, I mean dying.” Genesis sighed, leaning both his elbows onto the breakfast bar. “I don't know if it was on purpose or if you were just so caught up in your grief that you weren't thinking and you made mistakes, but you got a hurt a lot in the months after and it only takes one lucky shot. If I worry more for you than the state of my soul, don't hold that against me. I feared for you.”

“That's true of any battle,” Angeal said. “Anyone can get distracted. I know I can be tunnel-visioned sometimes, but I wasn't ready to give up the ghost.”

Genesis shook his head. “It was killing you,” he said, plainly. “Perhaps worse, it wasn't killing me and if I told you, I would have to admit that. What would you have thought of me, truly? If I had told you I felt nothing, that was it was simply something that happened and then it was over and I don't feel particularly sad or sorry or anything at all about it?”

“Shocked,” Angeal admitted. “You feel something about everything. You have feelings about things I didn't know it was possible to have strong feelings about.”

Zack had to agree: he had once put the toilet paper on under over instead of over under and Genesis had ranted at him about the proper way to do it for ten whole minutes.

“It was a long time ago,” Genesis shrugged. “If we try to go against the presidents wishes, or the president himself, much of it will come out and much of it is not pretty. There will be repercussions on the wider stage, so anything between us I would rather get out of the way now because I think we need to know if we have a breaking point.” 

“It's not a breaking point, Gen, I'm just upset that you – both of you – kept something from me.” Angeal said, after a beat. “I don't need to be handled with kid gloves.”

“Neither do I,” Zack said, drawing their attention back to him with his hands up in surrender. “Just saying.”

“No, you're right,” Genesis nodded. “No more keeping important things from each other. If we are to have any success, we must trust each other to move forwards.”

“And that means trusting Sephiroth with the decision of Hojo,” Angeal said. “Whatever happens next, it has to be with him.”

“Yeah,” Zack nodded. If it was something they all had to agree on, it probably wouldn't involve assassination, right? “Cloud too, when he can, you know, give an opinion.”

“Cloud too,” Genesis agreed. “I take it no one is keen to leave him here tonight?”

Zack shook his head, “I want to be here when he wakes up.”

“Well then,” Genesis clasped his hands together. “Then I think if no one has any objections, we shall have quiet rules tonight.”

“What's quiet rules?” Zack asked. It sounded familiar.

“Low stimulus and comfort emphasized environment for when things get a little overwrought,” Genesis replied. “I don't know about either of you, but I'm so overwrought that wrought is a tiny speck on my horizon.”

“That sounds pretty good,” Zack admitted. Maybe it would stop some of the buzzing in his skin if he could just get a little looser.

“I'll put out the hot cocoa,” Angeal added.

_Wake up_ , Zack willed at Cloud, as if he could hear him. Maybe he could. Who knows what kind of weird shit had happened to him? _Angeal makes the best cocoa and you're going to miss it._

No change.

Zack fought with himself not to sag right off the stool.

'Quiet rules' it turned out was kind of like the environmental equivalent of a warm hug. One couch was pulled back, the coffee table moved forwards to the wall and Genesis pulled out a giant quilt and placed it on the floor. Then he started putting pillows up against the couch Cloud was on, stopping several times to adjust his blankets and then moving to add throw pillows to the sides. They dimmed the lights and Genesis put on some music that he could just about make out if he stopped and listened, some ambient thing that didn't really seem to have words but a simple, unending melody. 

Zack left Genesis looking through his book cases, figuring that might take a while and saw that Angeal had put out four mugs even if only three were currently being topped by cream.

“I don't think Cloud's up to cocoa,” Zack said.

“No, this will be much too rich for his stomach when he wakes up,” Angeal agreed. “It's in case Sephiroth comes home tonight.”

Zack nodded. With everything going on, the background anxiety of Sephiroth having not returned was always there but not something he was focusing on. They said this had been happening for years; he always came back. He'd come back now, wouldn't he? “Do you think he will?”

“I hope so,” Angeal said, handing him a mug with a flicker of a sad smile.

“I don't know how you deal with this,” Zack admitted, blowing on the drink before taking a sip. Rich and a little bitter, perfect. “All the waiting around.”

“Experience,” Angeal said, simply.

Maybe that worked for Angeal but Genesis? Then again, hadn't he heard earlier that Genesis had lost his temper at several points and nothing had ever happened? They just had so much shared history between them. Even if Zack understood there was some part of getting to know someone you're dating that involved learning their history, it felt even more important when it was a relationship that had existed before him. Every time he tried to think of something they could do, it seemed like they'd tried it before or there was some reason they'd figured out it wouldn't work. It just added to how useless he was feeling.

“I'm just worried about him,” Zack said, looking down at his mug.

“So are we,” Angeal reached over to his shoulder, rubbing it up and down. “We have tried to honour his wishes that this aspect of his life remain private, but even as friends, it's never been easy. We just have to wait until he comes in or sends a message.”

“I think if it was me, I'd be camped out down there.” Zack admitted.

“Oh, we tried that once,” Genesis called over, brandishing a book at him. “It resulted in him avoiding us for the better part of a month because he felt we'd gone against his wishes.”

“Which we had. He deserves to set his own terms. His privacy is important to him,” Angeal said. “Not everyone is comfortable letting others see their vulnerabilities.”

At this point, Zack would be more surprised to find someone who was comfortable with it. Angeal was a little better, but he had decided he must have a secret super power if he managed with both Sephiroth and Genesis. Even Cloud seemed like he was opening up around him.

“If you can't let your guard down around the people that love you, when can you?” Zack asked. 

“An excellent question,” Genesis said. He was kneeling down and fluffing up parts of the quilt in a weirdly specific way. “Take your shoes off and pass me the mug, will you?”

“Anything else, your highness?” Zack asked.

“No, but stand by,” Genesis said, taking the mug. Angeal sat down, putting the television on with the remote. There wasn't any noise, so he must have muted it but there were subtitles. It looked like some kind of nature documentary. “I'll keep thinking about it and get back to you”

So that was how they spent Wednesday night: sitting on the floor, half watching random documentaries that he quietly narrated to Cloud since he wasn't sure moving him to look at them would hurt his neck. After a while, he just started talking about anything he could think of. People in comas were sometimes able to hear even if they couldn't do anything else, right? Even if they couldn't do anything else for him, Zack could at least remind him he wasn't alone. 

Zack couldn't remember falling asleep so much as he realised he must have been when he could himself curled underneath Angeal's arm, close enough he could hear his heart beating steadily in his sleep. It was kind of comforting. 

Blinking against the still dim room, he realised he had woken because Genesis was already up and putting his coat on. Spotting Zack's movement, he placed a finger at his mouth.

“One of us needs to put in an appearance today,” Genesis said, softly. “I'll come up at lunchtime. Text me if there's news.”

Zack nodded, and looked up at Cloud. 

Still nothing.

So Thursday went on as normal as it could. Zack traded a few texts with Kunsel, telling him about taking Cloud out of medical but that there wasn't any change, asking if he found anything then could he contact them. Angeal woke another hour or so later and made them a breakfast Zack picked at and apologised. It wasn't Angeal's cooking, he just couldn't keep a steady appetite without feeling a little sick every time he tried to eat properly. The boredom set in, then guilt because he was bored, then guilt that this whole thing had been his fault in the first place so he ended up going between talking to Cloud as if he could carry a conversation and doing squats. 

Nothing changed. No shift from Cloud. Nothing on Sephiroth. No word from Kunsel. 

Nothing.

Until that afternoon, half way through talking about how he was pretty sure he was going to have to get his Thirds more donuts for abandoning their classes, Cloud groaned at him. 

Zack moved to him in an instant, grabbing at his hands and holding tightly.

“What happened?” 

Genesis must have walked around from the kitchen, but Zack couldn't tear his eyes away from Cloud. “I was telling him about my Thirds bouncing off the wall on Tuesday and he groaned!” 

"You've told that story ten times in the last twenty-four hours. I'd groan too."

Zack was so caught up in looking at Cloud that he startled when Genesis's hand seemed to come from nowhere, pulling Cloud's blanket up over him. Cloud's eyes fluttered open and closed a few times, like maybe he was trying to focus on something and he was sure he could feel him trying to move his hands. Zack smiled at him as brightly as he could but as he went still again, Zack looked at Genesis with something wild and frightened sitting in his throat.

"It's normal for him to be in and out for a while," Genesis said, quietly. "We'll need to keep a closer eye on him, bodily functions will soon start to return and may need a helping hand so he doesn't need to rely heavily on potions. Are you alright?"

"Am I alright?" Zack laughed and yeah, okay, he could hear the high pitched hysteria in his voice. "He woke up, that means he'll be okay, right?"

"It's an excellent sign," Genesis nodded.

That was enough to set Zack off. The lump that had been in his throat since Tuesday seemed to come up in a large, choking sobs that shook his entirely body. It was like the barrier broke and everything wanted to come out all at once and it was just too much to contain. Slipping down onto the cushions below, he realised something - a tissue box - was being thrust into his hands.

"Thanks," he sobbed, rubbing his palms over his eyes repeatedly while his eyes burned before he took it. "I just - I'm not sad, I'm relieved, he's going to be okay, I just can't stop..."

"You've been running on worry and sugar for two days," Genesis said, and Zack realised that was probably him rubbing his back. "Better to get it all out now."

Zack nodded rapidly, because yeah, it was going to be seriously embarrassing if he couldn't help out because he was falling to pieces. He let his head fall onto his knees and focused on listening to Cloud's breathing to remind him he was here, he was going to be okay and on Genesis's fingers rubbing along his spine. It took a while to subside, but when Angeal came back from a pre-mission briefing late in the afternoon, it felt like the worst of it had passed and the knot in his chest felt a little lighter. When he'd managed to choke the words out to tell him about Cloud, Angeal had visibly brightened and hugged his shoulders.

By the time Cloud had woken up a few more times and even managed a few sips of water, Zack felt almost giddy from the relief of it. 

Then the tiredness slipped in. Most of Thursday night passed in a blur, then Friday morning was spent dozing and watching soap repeats. There was no one here who could judge him for getting kind of invested in it. Genesis had gone for medical supplies and Angeal had taken a mission late last night, after checking on Cloud himself.

“Zack?” 

Cloud's voice cut through Zack like a shock, waking him up instantly. Cloud was trying to sit up, but his elbows didn't really seem like they could take the weight so Zack hopped up and put some more pillows behind him.

“Thanks,” Cloud rasped. Didn't seem really happy about the help, but maybe being able to not stare at the ceiling was worth it.

“You want some more water?” When he nodded slightly, Zack popped a straw into a bottle and leaned it over so he could sip at it. It seemed like he was coming along a lot quicker now, he was even trying to grip the water bottle by himself and not doing too bad a job of it. “You think you can eat something? Angeal left soup to zap.”

“I can try,” Cloud agreed. 

It was a medium success, Cloud complained about being fed like a child for fifteen minutes straight and only managed about quarter of it, but it was more than he'd had since Tuesday so Zack was going to take the win. It seemed to have taken it out of him though, because he was back to fighting sleep judging by the way he kept blinking himself awake every couple of minutes.

It was reassuring to see him try to out-stubborn his own need for rest, not because he didn't need it, but because it was just such a Cloud thing to do.

When his PHS vibrated, Zack assumed it was another text from Kunsel with an update. 

It wasn't. 

It was Angeal. 

“Hey,” Zack answered. Angeal wasn't supposed to check in or anything, officially on a mission and unofficially to talk to one of the army higher ups he was friendly with from years ago. Maybe he was just checking to see how Cloud was doing, but what if something had gone wrong? “Everything okay?”

“I'm trying to get hold of Genesis,” Angeal whispered. Must be around people he didn't want to be overheard by.

“He's in the shower,” Zack said. “He went down to medical to say Cloud was awake, get some supplies and tell them Cloud wasn't going back down there. Something about wanting to get the smell of antiseptic and cowardice off his skin?”

Angeal huffed into the PHS. “Sephiroth called me,” he said. 

Zack's heart jumped into his mouth, “Is he okay?!”

“I think so, but Gen should go and meet him just in case,” Angeal explained. “The stairs up to the SOLDIER floor. It would also be better if the floor was quieter. Can you tell him that?”

“Uh,” Zack said. “Sure! Yeah, I can do that. He knows what that means?”

“He does,” Angeal said. “I'll wrap here as quickly as I can and get home. How's Cloud?”

“He ate some soup and complained when I tried to do here comes the birdie,” Zack said proudly. “I think that's progress!”

There was a crackle on the line. “Here comes the birdie?”

“You know, like with kids,” Zack said. “You make birdie noises with the spoon so they open their mouths and say 'Open up for the birdie.'”

Angeal's snorted loudly. “I think you should be grateful his strength hasn't returned yet, because if he reached out and smacked you for that, it would probably hurt more now.”

That...wasn't really something Zack had thought about. Of course Cloud was going to change! Cloud's eyes had the trademark SOLDIER glow even if he didn't have the title, of course he was going to end up with SOLDIER level abilities. It made something in him squirm at the idea of seeing what he might be capable of now, even if it was shitty how he ended up with it. What if that meant he didn't like it? What if it meant his whole dream got ruined?

Zack shook himself out of it, got up and knocked on the bathroom door. “Genesis?”

The shower turned off and Genesis poked his head around the door, “What.”

“Angeal just called. Sephiroth's out, he asked if you could go and get him–“ The bathroom slammed shut and Zack took a couple of steps back. 

It wasn't too much of a surprise when he emerged a couple of minutes later wearing the SOLDIER top and pants with his hair still wet and stuck to his face. “Back way up?”

“Yeah!” Zack said. “He also said a quieter floor was better?”

Zack caught sight of the ghost of a grin before Genesis disappeared out the door. As much as he wanted to know what that meant, he also kind of didn't want to know what that meant. 

“Zack?”

Of course Genesis slamming the door had woken Cloud up. 

“Yeah, bud,” Zack said, sitting down on the end of the couch careful to avoid Cloud's legs. “You need more water?”

Cloud just blinked at him. “Where was Sephiroth?”

_Oh_ , Zack thought numbly. _Oh shit!_

How was he going to explain where Sephiroth had been to _Cloud_? 


	17. Chapter 17

When the elevator to the Firsts floor came to a stop, Sephiroth was greeted by a Genesis level fit from Genesis himself. 

“You couldn't have waited an extra ten minutes?” 

No, he couldn't have. 

Cloud's disappearance may not have been noticed yet, the fuzzy timeline was of the last few days was disturbingly unclear but if anyone had to be wondering where he was, it was Zack. So instead of indulging Genesis's brewing tantrum, Sephiroth walked around him and went to Zack's door. It was still early enough in the afternoon he could be elsewhere, but if that was the case, Sephiroth could go back down to Medical himself and ask. It wasn't the preferred reaction, if anything it would feed into the idea this was getting under his skin, but it seemed as if he had brought Cloud to Hojo's attention and he had to act quickly if he was in danger.

“He isn't in there,” came Genesis's voice behind him. “I've given in and decided we are a 'dogs on the furniture' sort of people now.”

It took longer than usual to parse what Genesis was saying through what he actually said, but that meant Zack was likely on his furniture, which meant he was in his apartment and thus, if he could get throat to work properly, he could ask about Cloud and set him on the right path. 

So Sephiroth walked from Zack's down to Genesis's door, rooting around in his coat for the keycard that corresponded to that door and walking in. To his relief, Zack was standing by the foot of the couch rubbing his neck and looking around. When they locked eyes, Zack smiled oddly. There wasn't the usual infectious enthusiasm nor had he barreled into him as he'd half-expected. If anything, he looked almost sedate. Even when he took the few steps to stand with him, there was barely a flicker of his usual hyperactivity.

Did he already know Cloud was missing? 

“You look like shit.”

It was embarrassing for Sephiroth feel himself startle, turning to look down at Cloud on the makeshift bed on the couch. 

Cloud was _here_. 

Cloud didn't look particularly well either so he had no room to talk. The sight knocked the breath out of him; pale and wane, but at least very much responsive judging by the way he was looking at him. There were several pillows propped up behind him that he had sunk into and it looked like someone had administered some medical treatment by the IV line, but he was here. It could all have been written off as some fevered nightmare if not for the faint glow peeking through his eyelashes.

'I had medical give him what he desperately wanted and he became unresponsive within the hour.' Was that not what Hojo had said?

Once he had taken the state of the apartment in, of course they knew something was wrong. Zack's sheepishness, Genesis stomping about like the world was getting on his last nerve, the telltale 'quiet' supplies littering the floor in front of the couch, the curtains drawn, the muted lights and the large mugs sitting out on the side by the sink were all signs of a general wave of anxiety for the inhabitants. One of their medical supply boxes was still open on the table, which made sense if Cloud had been unresponsive for any amount of time. There was the chance he was going to need to be maintained medically for the processes what he was unable to do independently. 

Sephiroth knelt carefully on the quilt, just to get a closer look at him.

“You've looked better.” It came out more of a crackle than he expected, but at least it came out at all. It was likely from disuse over the last few days. 

Cloud raised his hand to do something but the movement aborted, his hand dropping onto his chest. From the look of betrayal he gave the limb, that wasn't by choice. Short term paralysis could be a side effect of a mako overdose.

“What were you trying to do?” Zack asked from off to his side. 

“Nothing,” Cloud replied, even as his eyes were shutting and he was forcefully opening them again.

“Man, really?” Zack asked. “Come on, tell me.”

Cloud's voice was barely above a mumble. “Hair's in my eyes.”

That was an easy fix. Sephiroth pulled the strand of still impossibly spiky hair from his forehead and tried to tuck it back in with the rest.

“I could've done it,” Cloud insisted.

“Now you don't have to!” Zack replied cheerfully. “If you're not going to take a nap, you can get some potions in you.”

“Are you injured?” Sephiroth asked Cloud as Zack ducked around to the table.

“I'll let you know when I can feel the rest of me,” Cloud grumbled, straining his head back to listen to Zack fiddling about in the medical supplies. 

“You're not surprised.”

Sephiroth glanced up to see Genesis looking between them with an expression that meant...something he would probably be able to guess at if his brain was fully functional. It was difficult enough to read Genesis on any given day, let alone on one when he felt strung out.

“No,” Sephiroth said. Surprised that Cloud was here and was both awake and obviously suffering some severe infusion side effects, but that something had happened wasn't entirely new information.

“Did you see anything?” Genesis asked.

“Why would you have seen anything?” Cloud asked him. “Where were you?”

Sephiroth shook his head. “Merely informed of the adverse reaction.”

“Hey!” Cloud was either too exhausted to succumb to his nerves or he was getting used to them. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here! Where were you?"

“Science department,” Sephiroth told him. “I was under the impression you were in medical.”

“I was,” Cloud said. “Then I wasn't.”

“It can be difficult to tell the difference, given the way staff sometimes flits between the two. Do you know where you were?” Genesis asked, leaning his arms on the back of the couch. There was a steady drip of water from his hair onto the material, but if it bothered him, he wasn't showing it. 

“Maybe don't push him?” Zack asked, from the table. “He's only been awake a day.”

“A day?” How long had he been unresponsive? Perhaps only a few hours?

“We went down on Tuesday morning and there was a medical appointment letter,” Zack explained. “We were going to meet up at lunch, but when I didn't hear back, I thought maybe it was just an adverse reaction to the mako test and maybe they were going to keep him in overnight or something.”

“You didn't wait overnight,” Genesis replied. “You sent messages late on Tuesday night. I could kick myself for not checking them.”

“Kunsel called me on Tuesday night and told I needed to go down to medical and ask for him,” Zack said. “Even then, it took them ages before they'd listen to me. I've never had to pull rank like that to get answers.”

“I reiterate my surprise your friend isn't dead yet,” Genesis sighed. 

“How'd he know where I was?” Cloud asked.

“How does Kunsel know anything? At this point, I'm afraid to ask.” Zack called back. “All I know is when someone showed up they said they had suddenly found you and you'd had a severe reaction to mako.”

“Don't most people have an adverse reaction to someone trying to kill them?” Cloud grumbled.

Sephiroth didn't miss the sharp intake of breath from Zack, nor the way he seemed to still going through the bag. Genesis moved to perch himself on the arm of the couch, reaching out to smooth out the blankets around Cloud's feet rather than look at him. “What makes you think they were trying to kill you?” Genesis asked. 

“I heard,” Cloud wet his lips, pushing his head back against the cushions. “I think I heard.”

“What did you hear?” Genesis pushed.

Cloud pursed his lips. “Just that whatever they were trying to do failed, I was too...weak for it, so it was better if – they thought they might find something through dissection.”

Sephiroth was ready the moment he saw the tension in Genesis, the telltale sign he was about to spring up and that wouldn't go over well. Before he could even stand, Sephiroth grabbed hold of his ankle and prepared for the onslaught of anger at being denied the chance to go and get himself into worse trouble.

What he had not anticipated was Zack, who had already stormed out the door by the time Sephiroth had time to register that he was moving.

“You're going to need an extra hand at this rate,” Genesis remarked dryly. “Let me go. I'll bring him back.”

“Don't do anything idiotic,” Sephiroth told him.

“I resent that!” Genesis told him. “Keep an eye on him.”

“I will,” Sephiroth nodded, letting his hold drop.

“I was talking to Cloud,” Genesis replied. 

Sephiroth watched him go, before he felt Cloud was looking at him. Perhaps he didn't look his best either, the smell tended to linger without the intervention of baths with stronger scents and there was an unpleasant cloying of his clothes to his skin. It was doubtful anyone had thought they may require cleaning before they were put back on him, but perhaps the mix of these things made Cloud uncomfortable. Or maybe he knew the part Sephiroth had played in his current situation and didn't want to be alone with him, which was understandable but made things awkward.

“I'm sorry.”

Of all the things Sephiroth had expected Cloud to say, it wasn't that.

“Have you done something to apologise for?” he asked.

“I upset everyone,” Cloud said. “Maybe it would have been better if they'd finished the job, no one would feel obligated to deal with me.”

The idea was upsetting, even if he couldn't pinpoint what the most upsetting part of it was. Having Science meddle in his romantic attachments was never a pleasant experience and he sought to keep them separate as much as possible, but Cloud had come to Hojo's attention, not anyone else's. This was all but a guarantee it was about them, either as a prospective addition to his existing relationship or as a separate connection from seeing them several days before or even the small number of times they had come across each other. If it had been from Genesis's flirtations, it would have come to Hollanders attention instead. Unless it had come to Hollanders attention and he had been willing to trade the information on their relationship for something he found worth the potential ire if Genesis found out, but if that were true, then Cloud could have been disappeared. It still wasn't entirely clear how he had ended up in the lab, but perhaps with time, his memory of that would return and they would have some clear answer. 

It would do no good to push him beyond his limits and make him worse. Even now, he looked as if he was struggling against sleep and it was a losing battle.

“You are not here through any obligation,” Sephiroth told him. “Were you helping Zack through his after effects out of obligation?”

“No,” Cloud replied, jerking hard and blinking rapidly. Clearly on the verge of passing out. 

“A conversation for when we have both rested,” Sephiroth told him. As much as he'd phrased it that way to make him more likely to listen, it was painfully obvious when he stood that he was still light-headed. Thankfully, the potions were still on the table where Zack had left them when he had fled on his fools errand, so it took very little to retrieve them. “Drink. You'll feel better when you awaken if you do.”

Even has he'd been ready to help him drink it, Sephiroth watched with some amusement as Cloud stubbornly tried to move his hand to grip it. Though he only managed to get his hand onto the bottle, using it more as a crutch than gripping it, it was an impressive display of stubbornness. It was surprising how fondly he felt of the display; if anything, it seemed like it should be irritating instead of endearing. One of many more contradictions about him if he truly had survived a deliberate mako overdose with an innate sensitivity. They would have to be careful; if Cloud had not been on the Science departments radar for anything other than morbid curiosity before, he would be now.

If Cloud Strife was nothing else, he was certainly an enigma.

There was nothing Sephiroth wanted more than to sink into Genesis's ridiculously sized bath and change into something that didn't have the lingering smell of the labs all over it. When he slipped into the bathroom to turn on the taps, anxiety gripped his gut unexpectedly. The thought came into his mind unbidden that if he did stay in here long enough to soak, Cloud would be by himself and there was a chance however remote that he would no longer be there when he came out again. Even when he waited to see if it was just some holdover from his earlier worry, the thought lingered. 

So he turned off the tap, forgoing the bath in favour of a quick change of clothes instead. When he slept here, he didn't usually bother with anything on top – his body temperature had always been a little elevated so he found it uncomfortable– but it didn't seem like Angeal had washed the sweatshirt he had been wearing on Monday night, since it was still draped over the vanity chair where he'd left it. In a way, that was better – it didn't smell like soap or detergent, but it didn't smell of sweat either so much just of home.

The sound of the door opening drew his attention out of the bedroom, but it was merely Genesis. Genesis with what looked like Zack slung over his shoulder, but he couldn't be exactly sure since not really had the occasion to look all that closely at Zack's ass as yet.

“Is he all right?” Sephiroth asked.

“Oh, he's fine,” Genesis said, unloading his cargo on the other couch and confirming that, yes, that was Zack and he was snoring lightly. “I'm afraid I'm tapped out of any more attempts at a diplomatic talking down and he was beginning to draw quite the crowd. Acting decisively seemed appropriate.”

“So you put him to sleep?” Sephiroth asked.

“He's clearly exhausted,” Genesis replied, pushing his still damp looking hair from his eyes. “The rest will do him good.”

“You don't think that one First knocking out another is going to cause a scene?” Sephiroth asked.

“I always cause a scene,” Genesis replied dismissively. “It's an integral part of my personality. Besides which, the staff have seen me do much worse for far less.”

It was hard to argue that, especially when Sephiroth found he needed to sit down himself as a fresh wave of dizziness hit him. It was very persistent if it was anxiety. Perhaps he was dehydrated or the lack of solid food for four days was playing into it. Mako could only do so much. When his feet felt better under him, he would grab one of the premixed shakes in the fridge and hopefully, he would keep it down. 

“It was Hojo,” Genesis asked, not bothering to beat around the bush. For someone who loved to monologue lyrically at any given moment instead of saying what he meant, there were moments he was extraordinarily blunt. “Wasn't it?”

Sephiroth nodded. “If not him, then on his order.”

“I don't suppose he decided to explain his thought process there,” Genesis asked.

“No,” Sephiroth replied. “Just a general disappointment with my taste in men.”

Genesis laughed; it was a low, hoarse noise and it bordered on unpleasant sounding, but it was a laugh at least. “That may be the most parental the man has ever been,” he said, giving him a brief, sharp grin. “Regardless of whether he truly is one or not.”

There were times that Sephiroth deeply regretted talking about things that private with his partners, if only because in moments like this, it gave Genesis far more weaponry at his disposal. It was a thought he would prefer to keep out of his mind, showing interest in the idea had never given him any answers and left open vulnerabilities he didn't particularly want on show. There had been times, especially when he was small, that he had wanted to know more than the brief answer of who his father was – 

( _I created you. Don't be ungrateful._ )

– anything about his mother –

( _She's dead._ Blunt. Cutting. Nothing else.)

– anything about who he was other than what he was: a SOLDIER First Class that his body needed to catch up with to hold their imminent title.  
  
It was strange how talking to Cloud about the extent he didn't know about himself had dragged those memories to the forefront. From the only records of himself he had ever dared to read on a rummaging rebellion that named his mother by labelling him as Jenova's child to being told over and over how special he was and how no one else even came close. The sinking feeling of being walked up from the labs in his SOLDIER uniform for the first time and told to show them what he was truly capable of when he had the strong suspicion Hojo behind him was the reason he hadn't turned and ran back down to his room, to insist he wasn't ready to leave the labs yet. Wholly odd to consider a point where it felt safer there than out here, but children often didn't understand their situations and he supposed he must have been one at that age.

Sephiroth was startled from his train of thought by Genesis placing his hand gently on his arm. 

“Don't go down there again.”

“I'll be more careful,” Sephiroth replied. 

“That wasn't what I asked,” Genesis said.

“Then don't ask me to do things you know I can't,” Sephiroth told him.

“That isn't what I meant,” Genesis replied. Sephiroth had expected waspishness and huffing, but he seemed neither. If anything, he was worryingly serious. “We're not wholly dissimilar, you and I. There is an unpleasant vulnerability in caring for another and to do so for many people seems ill advised at best. Yet here we are.”

Genesis paused, likely for dramatic effect as par for the course. Whatever point he was trying to make, Sephiroth hoped he got to it soon.

“I had not fully realised the extent of my current attachment until I saw Cloud in that medical room,” Genesis added, finally. “Zack was...well, he looked worse than usual which is quite impressive for someone with that hair and no sense of fashion at all. If the last few days have taught me little else, it's that there may be few people on the Planet I care for and that I cannot place so many of their fates in the hands of people who have no regard for their person.”

“I'm in no danger,” Sephiroth replied. “They spent a lot of time and gil on developing me and it would be a waste to cause any permanent damage.”

“That may be true for you but not everyone survives being carved into a weapon,” Genesis shook his head, looking back towards the couches. “You know as well as I do that Cloud was not meant to survive this and someone will try to finish the job. Or worse, want to know why he didn't die in the first place badly enough that one day he will simply be gone because they decided he was interesting enough to keep.”

“We would not allow that to happen,” Sephiroth said plainly.

“What if it's the professor?” Genesis asked.

It would make it more difficult, but not impossible. There were still cards he could play. “I'd take care of it.”

“Like we took care of you and made sure it never happened again,” Genesis replied, quietly. 

Sephiroth shook his head, “That isn't on either of you.”

“Shut up, of course it is.” Genesis snapped at him. “Zack said that if he cannot even help someone he loves, then what good are we and he's right. What is the point of any of this if we cannot protect our own?”

“What do you suggest?” Sephiroth asked.

“One way or another, he has to be removed.” Genesis stated, plainly. 

“You're going to end up confined to quarters again,” Sephiroth replied. “The president doesn't take chances with him, he's too valuable.”

“Then perhaps the presidents time is also up,” Genesis replied.

That was new. The rest of this conversation had played out in some form or another for ten years, but that had never come up as an option. Worse still, he didn't seem to be saying it in a fit of passion or anger or any one of Genesis's constant barrage of emotions that could be colouring it. If anything, he seemed – calm. Too calm, it was utterly unnerving how run of the mill he sounded. As if such a thing could be talked about like whether or not they needed more coffee. There was no way this calm was real. This had to be some kind of slow burning anger or some emotion he hadn't enough experience with to spot.

“You're upset,” Sephiroth replied. “We should talk about this later.”

“I'm quite calm,” Genesis replied. “I've thought of little else for days. You can feel that revulsion at what Hojo has done, can't you? The horror of how easy it was, how close we came to losing someone just as they had become important to us and still, we haven't even scratched the surface of what happened. Are you not angry? You like Cloud and you don't like anyone.”

It wasn't a matter of whether or not he liked Cloud. Cloud was attractive, challenging, quick and much stronger than most people seemed to realise. It wasn't a surprise some of the Science staff had simply written him off without considering if there may be more to him. Cloud was fighting what ought to have been fatal with every breath, constantly pushing for more and that push for more from himself was commendable. 

Was he angry? Most sensations, let alone emotions, still felt too far away to contemplate. 

“I think it might be you that needs to talk about it later,” Genesis said, snapping him back to the moment. 

“Yes,” Sephiroth agreed. “I should eat and bathe. I don't imagine the smell is helping.”

Genesis looked at him, “When was the last time you ate? I don't think you had breakfast on Tuesday.”

“Monday night then,” Sephiroth said, putting an arm up in time to catch Genesis's attempt to smack him on the shoulder. At least it wasn't Angeal; Sephiroth wasn't sure he had the fortitude for a lecture. 

It didn't take that long to eat, just long enough for Zack to wake up and get immediately shushed when he tried to yell at Genesis for casting on him. It was a little funny to watch him silently fume in Genesis's direction, but better he get used to the fact that Genesis was frequently infuriating and find a way to deal with that. Cloud had clearly worn himself out, but it hadn't stopped Zack from fussing over him in his sleep. At least he wasn't storming downstairs and getting himself into trouble. 

Slipping into the bath was soothing for body and mind. As much as they both tended to rib Genesis about the opulence of it, in moments like this, Sephiroth understood why he'd chosen to invest in it. It was just large enough that if he bent his knees so just the tips broke water, he could completely submerge and found himself doing so several times. Even if that meant his hair was going to be a mess from bath products, it was worth it. 

It wasn't until the water had cooled and he had refilled that he tried to think about anything that wasn't tension seeping out from his bones. The whole idea of it was ludicrous. Shinra was all of their lives, they lived and worked within it and had done most if not all of their lives. If the president was removed, it was no guarantee that there would be no fallout from an attempt on Hojo. It would mean dealing with Rufus Shinra, but whether that would be in his good graces because he hated his father and wanted his company or make things more difficult because it was still his father was unclear. Families were complicated to say the least.

There was a rap on the door he hadn't expected. “Enter.”

It was more than a little surprising to see Angeal come in. “I thought you were in Junon,” he said.

“I was,” Angeal replied. “I pulled a few strings to get back quickly. It helps that I've never done it because I have theatre tickets and think that constitutes an emergency.”

“It's an emergency for everyone around him if he misses it,” Sephiroth replied.

Angeal smiled broadly at him, before sitting on the edge of the tub. “I'm sorry I wasn't here. Did you eat?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth told him. “I'm caught up on necessities and nefarious plans.”

Angeal ducked his head and snorted. “It's not what it sounds like.”

“Then what is it?” Sephiroth asked.

Angeal paused, the room silent for several moments before he spoke again. “Gen said you seemed preoccupied with Cloud's safety when you came back."

“Yes.” That had little to do with anything.

“That preoccupation, it came from distress and worry that he wouldn't be all right, didn't it?” Angeal hesitated. “That's how we feel when you just disappear down there, every time. I know you want your privacy and you don't want to discuss it so we've tried to respect that, but it weighs on our hearts and minds until we can see you again.”

“You both have lab appointments too,” Sephiroth pointed out. It wasn't that unusual.

“A few hours every few months, which I think you know isn't the same.” Angeal shook his head. “We don't trust Professor Hojo.”

Anyone would be a fool to. “Do you trust Hollander?”

“I trust that he doesn't have the same protections.” Angeal replied. “It forces some amount of accountability on him, which Hojo doesn't have. I know that it's different for you, if nothing else then he has been your legal guardian all of your life. I know that the company is your home and it would be cruel to ask you to move against them at all.”

“Don't talk him out of it before you've even broached the subject properly!” came Genesis's voice in.

“You're going to wake Cloud!” Angeal yelled back, the fact that he had just added to the din only seeming to hit him as he stopped with a grimace.

Genesis poked his head around the door. “He's awake,” he informed them both. “Currently elbowing the puppy in the stomach for trying to put him on his knee. Are you _still_ in the bath? Your skin is going to start looking like the presidents neck if you stay in there much longer.”

“Thank you for that,” Sephiroth replied.

Angeal merely shook his head, “Will you let me finish please?”

“You're going about it the wrong way,” Genesis huffed.

“I'm going about it in a way that stresses we're only doing this for more of a say in our own lives and for Hojo to be held accountable for his actions,” Angeal said. “This doesn't have to be messy.”

It was definitely going to be messy.

“What do you imagine will happen if we go to the president with this?” Genesis demanded. “Excuse us, Mr. President, but we'd like to have control over how we're treated medically and scientifically, your assurance that nothing untoward will happen to our somewhat expanding family and oh, we're planning to end your scientific golden boys life because he's a sadistic, murderous bastard who has crossed the line so many times it that it really should have been done years ago but here we are. You're perfectly happy with handing over all the cards you hold with us, aren't you? You are?” Genesis clasped his hands together loudly. “How wonderful! Now we can get back to saving kittens, orphans and little old ladies, just like the propaganda machine says we do!”

“I'm starting to see why you didn't end up on the stage professionally,” Angeal told him.

Sephiroth knew what Genesis was going to do the moment he puffed up like an angry bird, but somehow, Angeal didn't catch on in time and Sephiroth had to struggle not to laugh at the squawk he gave when he went backwards into the bath and landed on his legs. Genesis had no such control, bursting out laughing immediately and not looking at all sorry even as Angeal yelled his name and flicked soapy bath water at him. If anything, it made him have to hold onto the wall from cackling.

“You are such a child!” Angeal grumbled, trying to get enough purchase to move out of the suds. 

Sephiroth took pity on him, pushing the plug in with his foot and deciding he had probably had enough bath time for today. Zack called in to find out what was going on just as a very wet Angeal stalked after Genesis who had at least as much sense left as to bolt from the room as soon as Angeal had extricated himself.

It took significantly longer to dry his hair enough to put it up, so by the time emerged from the bathroom in his robe, most of the ruckus had calmed down. Both Angeal and Genesis had changed, which probably meant at some point Angeal had caught up to him and sat on him because that was exactly what he used to do when they were fifteen and some things never change. Cloud was not on Zack's knee, but had been moved down to the quilt with Zack and Genesis flanking either side. Angeal had settled down beside Zack, now with a mug of soup that he saluted him with.

' I know that the company is your home.'

That was true; there had been a time when this building had been his entire world, when he had felt safest in the labs where he could be left to his own learning and maintenance and when the surge of the fight and beating his previous times and scores was all he had looked forward to. 

It wasn't anymore. 

Even has he had climbed the stairs earlier, it had been with home in mind. When he had borrowed Angeal's sweatshirt, it had been because it reminded him of his partner and that had felt like home. The way Genesis had as always unconsciously slipped his feet between his legs as he took to the pillows beside him, because he didn't like to be cold and Sephiroth was always warm. Even the meals without Zack, even the last few days, he found he missed him more than he thought he would.

Perhaps home was not a static place at all, but simply a place where their 'somewhat expanding family' was. The thought was heady; while he had been left only with crumbs of truth about his background from a man who may or may not be his biological father, he did have a family. It was changing shape, but not in a way that made it worse. Just in a way that made it different and he was nothing if not adaptable. 

If he thought about it like that, the decision was easy. They were his own and no one was going to take that away, no matter the cost.

Genesis reached around to tap at his temple. “I can hear those cogs from here,” he said, quietly.

“Ask me,” Sephiroth said.

Genesis looked mildly confused, but Angeal was quicker on the uptake. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Yes you're sure or yes, you want to wade into this?” Angeal clarified, as recognition finally flickered on Genesis's face and his lips parted.

“Both.”

Angeal stared at him as if he thought he would change his mind, then nodded slowly.

“That just leaves you,” Genesis turned and half-whispered into Cloud's ear. “What do you think? Would you like to raise a little hell?”

“It doesn't sound like you want to raise a little,” Cloud said. “Sounds like you want to raise a lot.”

“Does that change your answer?” Genesis asked.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I just don't want you to go to trouble for me,” Cloud said.

“Wouldn't you, if it was me?” Zack asked.

Cloud seemed to have no comeback to that.

“It's not just about you,” Genesis told him. “You are simply the last straw.”

Cloud chewed this over. “I don't know how helpful I'm going to be since I can't get up.”

“Don't sell yourself short,” Zack told him. “That elbow winded me.”

“ _Besides_ ,” Angeal said, firmly. “While we can't be sure what exactly you were given, it looks as if you're adjusting at a good rate. I'm sure Sephiroth won't mind checking your balances as you progress, but if you follow most induction trajectories, your strength will come back over the next couple of weeks and then some.”

“I wasn't inducted,” Cloud protested. 

“You are rocking the trademark,” Zack said. “Your eyes.” 

Cloud stared at him.

“Shit!” Zack exclaimed. “You haven't seen yourself!” 

This sent Zack scrambling across Angeal's legs, much to his protest and Genesis telling him to watch out for Cloud's IV line. Given how much better he was looking, Sephiroth doubted that would be necessary for much longer.

Zack squirmed his way back in with his PHS, flipping the camera and letting Cloud look at himself. "See? Mako eyes."

“It doesn't feel any different,” Cloud said, after a long moment of staring.

“No, it doesn't,” Angeal replied. “That's why Zack was breaking things left, right and centre. It'll be a week or so before we know what to expect with you.”

“I can't take a couple of weeks off,” Cloud said, then reared back blinking. “Wait. Do I still have a job? They did try to kill me, might put a bit of a damper on our professional relationship.”

Sephiroth snorted at that. 

“Hang on, I'll ask.” Zack said, pulling up his messaging app. 

"Tell Kunsel thanks for stalking me," Cloud said.

"WIll do," Zack replied.

“Better idea,” Genesis reached over to tap the screen. “Tell your little gossip to come up here. If we need information to know what the best way forward is, it makes sense to ask the person who seems to know everything.”

“Not tonight,” Angeal said. “Breakfast tomorrow, to visit Cloud.”

“I take it you don't want me to warn him about everything else,” Zack asked, uneasily. 

“No,” Sephiroth replied, Zack glancing up at him. “Nothing can leave this room until we have a plan of action.”

Zack slumped, but nodded. 

“We should enjoy a quiet night tonight,” Genesis replied, reaching across for Angeal's hand and squeezing until it went white. “It may be our last one for quite some time.”

No one said anything to that. 

They were standing on the edge of something, Sephiroth could feel it bubbling in his stomach and it was not unlike his earlier anxiety over leaving Cloud alone but more so. It was still possible this could happen quietly, that President Shinra would see a united front on what they wanted and cave to it but Hojo would never give up his seat at such a powerful table. No matter what, this would be a bloody and brutal fight no matter how well intentioned they considered being and deep down, he imagined that even Angeal knew that. Life would change, as it had for him many times before, but he refused to lose anyone else in the process. 

As he had done with every enemy that had ever stood in his way, Sephiroth found no issue with cutting his way through them on the path to getting what he wanted.


	18. Chapter 18

As much as spending time together alone in the quiet, safest space they had would have been appreciated for longer than a night, everyone – potentially save for Cloud – had a job to return to in the morning. 

Angeal had been the first to leave, as he had pushed both his debriefing and medical back until the morning. Sephiroth walked down with him, hoping to get a little time in battle simulations before the Seconds and Thirds descended on the equipment. It was a comforting part of the routine, a reminder of exactly what he could be capable of to wipe the vulnerability cobwebs away. That had left Zack, Cloud and Genesis alone with Zack was sill trying to get back to his usual levels of pep from having a worrying and anxiety driven week. If Sephiroth hadn't been withdrawn enough that he was sure the VR room would be a bloodbath, Angeal would have asked him to take Zack with him and burn some of that out before Zack's friend came up. It wasn't advisable in this mindset, as a new First class, Zack still wasn't to grips with what he was capable of and high level enemies could still cause injuries. 

At least Cloud was in better shape this morning; there had been much toe wiggling and 'toe jousting' as Zack had called it. After arguing the point with Zack for half an hour, Cloud had let him help him to the bathroom to use the facilities and get changed into fresh clothes. As long as Zack supported his weight, he could take a few a steps by himself and given the state he had been in, it was hard not to feel proud at the bravery and determination Cloud showed constantly. When they had left, it had been Genesis and Cloud on the couch while Zack was texting his friend. Cloud had his chin leaning on Genesis's arm while the latter read both _Loveless_ and the expansion of it that he preferred aloud. Sephiroth had argued that Cloud had suffered enough without being subjected to such treatment, but part of it was on Cloud for admitting he'd only ever seen the movie from the eighties which so upset Genesis's sensibilities – he _hated_ that adaption – that he insisted on reading it to him. If he was still trapped, Angeal could rescue him when he came back.

At least the debrief wasn't long. Everything had been secure for the Presidents upcoming visit to Junon and nothing strange had come up there, so the most engaging thing had been Lazard asking him if everything was alright given his rush to come back last night and request not to debrief until today. Angeal had thanked him for his concern, explained that Zack's friend had been unwell and he had been concerned about him (true if leaving out his own relationship status) so he wanted to be there for him. No one questioned that. 

Hollander was a little more difficult, since he already knew some of what was going on. Even if most of his complaints had been about Genesis storming in and informing him that yes, Cloud was awake, no, he wasn't coming back down here since they allowed him to get into trouble in the first place and insisting a mako coma patient could be in danger without medical intervention. It wasn't as if that was untrue, though Sephiroth had confirmed his own results from the med kit that Cloud's body was now beginning to adjust and had stopped trying to fight the mako in his system like it was an unwelcome virus. It would be better to get him checked out by someone with a medical background, but they were running low on who they could trust to make sure he didn't disappear off again. 

By the time Angeal had returned from his appointment, it was already past nine so it wasn't a surprise to find Kunsel already in the apartment. It was a little bit surprising to see him with his helmet off, but that was probably Genesis's doing. They were about to reveal things that couldn't be taken back, so it was the kind of thing best done face to face, not face to visor. Zack had taken up a position on the couch with him, so Angeal dropped down beside Genesis.

That just left Sephiroth. 

“Did I miss anything?” Angeal asked.

“Kunsel was just telling us how he found Cloud's wallet,” Zack said, doing a ta-da gesture at his friend.

Kunsel shrugged, “It wasn't that hard. Surveillance data is usually stored on a server for either administrative services or administrative research unless it involves the Science department or the president or VP. It's stored with a pseudo-random number label depending on the location then it's in sequential file numbers, so if you can get the code for the section you want, you can look up anywhere you need to if the footage hasn't been moved.”

“But the footage wasn't there,” Cloud said.

“No, it was clipped out which means it was either deleted – doesn't happen too often – or moved to one of the other servers.” Kunsel replied.

“Were you able to find the clip?” Angeal asked.

Kunsel shook his head, “No, but I didn't need to. I had a rough time estimate which meant that either the person who took it took either the elevator or the stairs. I just checked the times around when they would have come out and looked for another missing clip. That was where I saw the bin and where I ended up sending Zack.”

Using the lack of evidence as evidence was creative. It also meant that it was more likely that this wasn't a prank gone wrong, but something else entirely. How had Cloud come to everyone's attention? Had it been three Firsts with him, sparring and messing around in the equipment? Had it been Zack or Genesis's flirtations? Was there a reason they were all missing?

The arrival of Sephiroth broke his chain of thought and Zack had kept his word on keeping quiet if the brief look of surprise on Kunsel's face was anything to go by. Sephiroth didn't sit with them, instead pulling one of the stools and placing it between the couches.

“Apologies for my delay,” he said. 

“Why do I suddenly get the feeling this isn't about finding Cloud's uniform?” Kunsel said, glancing to Zack who looked a little flustered. The problem with being honest to a fault.

“We're just trying to figure out what happened,” Zack said, scratching at the back of his neck. “To make sure if doesn't happen again.”

Kunsel looked to Cloud. “You don't remember?” 

“Bits and pieces,” Cloud admitted. 

“Mako disorientation can suck,” Kunsel nodded, fidgeting in place. “It's going to depend on what firewalls your information is behind now.”

“You found it before though, right?” Zack asked. “When you called me to go find Cloud.”

Kunsel nodded slowly. “Uhhhh....How candid are we being here?”

“Extremely,” Genesis replied. 

“Nothing leaves this room.” Angeal tried to sound more reassuring than he felt. “At this point, we're putting cards on the table and expect the same from you.”

Kunsel looked at him, then swallowed audibly. “You know this isn't the first time this has happened, right?” he glanced at Zack. “People have been going for missing for years, usually people with no strong connections or their family doesn't have the means to push the issue. One of my unit went missing on his way to medical when I was a Third, but it was like he'd been scrubbed from existence.”

Angeal knew exactly what he was talking about. While occasionally soldiers would show up again, having been treated for their injuries off-site, there was always something a little bit off about it. Nothing he could pinpoint, so he hadn't given it much thought.

Maybe that was a mistake.

“What happened to him?” Zack asked tentatively.

Kunsel merely looked down and clenched his jaw, “I don't know. Normally I'd say Cloud fits the bill – no immediate family around, kind of a loner (sorry man but you know what I mean) but everyone knows you and Zack are close now and that makes this the opposite of discreet. Unless...” Kunsel trailed off for a moment. “Unless you think that's the reason he was targeted. The whole naked except for a very famous coat incident.”

Cloud groaned loudly, dipping his head. “Can we not call it that?”

“Perhaps it was assumed Zack would go after him,” Sephiroth replied. “We split up to cover more locations.”

“That would make sense, except again, Zack's a First,” Kunsel replied. “All I know is when I got into your personnel file, the last opened notice was redacted until I jumped through a lot of hoops. It was definitely a lab ID. That was when I called Zack.”

“Can you still get into Cloud's personnel file?” Genesis asked. "Perhaps his medical information?"

“Probably, but all it says is the last access codes were from medical or science.” Kunsel shrugged. “He's not KIA if that's what you wanted to know – I checked.”

“Why would I be killed in action?” Cloud asked.

“It's company code,” Genesis replied. “If they decide not to look into where someone has gone or they already know and want it to be swept under the rug. The fact that you aren't causes more problems than it solves.”

“How?” Cloud asked.

“It means that you were administered a fatal dose and did not die,” Sephiroth answered. “They'll want to know why.”

It had been what they'd been worried about all week. Keeping Cloud with one of them al all times wasn't sustainable, they led busy lives and Cloud was fiercely independent and a little bit of a trouble magnet. 

“Maybe it wasn't a fatal dose,” Cloud said. “I think I can remember someone saying they weren't finished.”

“What else can you remember?” Sephiroth asked.

“A lot of commentary on how pathetically weak I am,” Cloud flushed a little red at that. “That I'm not interesting.”

“Fuck them,” Zack exclaimed loudly. “You're not weak!”

“I literally can't stand up,” Cloud said. “I lost a toe war.”

“The ability to stand isn't synonymous with being strong,” Genesis told him. “Are we forgetting this is Hojo we're talking about? The same man who considers Angeal and myself to be weak? Why should we care what he thinks?”

Kunsel spoke up. “Cloud?”

When Angeal caught sight of Cloud's face, he was frowning and his eyes were closed.

“Zack,” Cloud said, suddenly.

“Yeah, bud?” Zack asked.

“No, I mean I think I remember Zack being mentioned,” Cloud said, opening his eyes. “Or not....It sounds weird.”

The idea of Hojo taking an interest in Zack made Angeal's stomach drop. Something of it must have been on his face, or perhaps Genesis simply knew him well enough to know it would be upsetting, because he found that he grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers.

“Weird how?” Kunsel asked.

“I must be misremembering,” Cloud shook his head. “I don't even know why I thought it was about Zack. Maybe I was just thinking about him.”

“Stop backpedaling and just say what you remember,” Genesis told him, a little too sharply than he ought to have so Angeal gave his hand a tug. “Perhaps one of us can shed some light on whether or not it's important.”

Cloud looked uncomfortably at his feet before giving a decisive nod. “He said it was disgusting that First class had 'mere humans' in it.”

Genesis laughed. 

“Oh, is that all?” he said. “He thinks anyone who isn't Sephiroth is a mere mortal and he's having a fit over it. Zack is just compounding the issue that First Class is not completely unattainable. Pay it no mind. ”

It wasn't exactly true. 

You would be hard pressed to find someone who hadn't noticed that there were differences to Sephiroth, including ones that didn't look exactly human. It wasn't out of the question that part of the extra 'enhancement' process he'd been through wasn't entirely human, but it was a touchy subject and they didn't talk about it. As much anyone can not talk about a subject around Genesis. It was hard to read Sephiroth in mixed company, so Angeal made a mental note to check in with him later. It wouldn't be right to air that in front of someone he wasn't comfortable with.

Cloud gave a startled, breathy laugh. “No. I know why they tried to kill me.” That made everyone stand to attention metaphorically. “He was going off like that, that he'd been pulled away from something important and he was right up at my face so I spat at him.”

Angeal couldn't help the snort of disbelief, but Zack was openly clapped and pointed at Cloud. “That's my Spike! Always ready to throw down.”

“That petty, grotesque man,” Genesis said, though even he was grinning. “If anyone deserves such treatment, it's him.”

“What was he being pulled away from anyway?” Zack scoffed. “Who multitasks murder?”

Sephiroth. It made the most sense and a glance at him all but confirmed his suspicions as he seemed to be purposefully not looking at any of them.

“I think you were right about the other people.” Cloud said, looking at Kunsel. “About there being other people. I heard screaming.”

Or perhaps there were other people involved.

Sephiroth had proudly informed them a decade ago prior to having his shoulder put back in place that he absolutely did not scream and had not since he was very young. It didn't seem like the sort of thing he would lie about. One of the many disturbing statements that had only become realised when they became closer and began to trust one another with more than their lives.

“There's SOLDIERs down there right now?” Zack sounded deeply upset at the prospect, bouncing on his feet. “We can't just leave them there!”

“No one is suggesting that,” Angeal said. “Extricating Hojo can't be done overnight without consequences.”

“Sometimes you just have to accept there'll be consequences and try to do the right thing anyway,” Zack told him. 

“You weren't joking about the candid thing, huh?” Kunsel said.

“No,” Sephiroth said, bluntly. “We were not.”

“There's no way the President is going to be fine with you killing Hojo,” Kunsel said, looking from Sephiroth then around to Zack. “You know he designed the method that creates SOLDIERs, right? That makes him almost untouchable.”

“Almost untouchable isn't untouchable!” Zack exclaimed. “I can't sit here knowing our people, anyone, is getting hurt for what? What does he want?”

“Perfection,” Sephiroth said, simply. 

There was no such thing. People couldn't be perfect and perhaps that would always be the point of contention between Sephiroth and the professor. Maybe even the reason he hated them especially. Many of the changes that had happened in their teens, they had dragged Sephiroth along for the ride for and growing up was a messy, imperfect experience.

“We cannot and will not sit here and be used as pawns in a game of Hojo's design,” Genesis said, quietly. “I could not care less if he designed the SOLDIER treatment regime. Other people use and maintain that system now and SOLDIER is no longer a concept that belongs to him or even the President. It is a living, breathing entity and I doubt many within it hold their loyalty to a the man who has abducted their comrades nor to the man who covers for him.”

“No, I'd say between the Firsts, you guys pretty much have that one covered. SOLDIER would listen to you.” Kunsel replied. “But the president is obsessed with the idea of the Ancients promised land and it's unlimited mako. Even odds on him being more afraid of losing that than losing SOLDIER.”

“You really think he'd throw away SOLDIER for something no one's even sure really exists?” Zack asked.

“How many SOLDIERs could you make with unlimited mako?” Kunsel asked. “ Look at how many people signed up after the war in Wutai started. No one is irreplaceable.”

“Save for myself,” Sephiroth replied.

“Would you care to check your ego?” Genesis snapped.

“It isn't ego,” Sephiroth told him. “I was told all attempts to repeat the process failed, even those using my genetic material had peculiar effects. That the professor has not been able to replicate the process has been an annoyance for him since I was a child.”

“Genetic material?” Angeal asked. 

“Gene grafting, not fertilization.” Sephiroth said. 

“Then that makes it perfectly acceptable,” Genesis replied snippily. 

This could go on all day and none of them had that long. 

“There must be some kind of medical record of what happened,” Angeal interrupted before they could devolve into sniping. “Perhaps if we could treat Cloud ourselves that would be one less thing we need from the company. I know we have them for our own mako treatments.”

“It could be in medical history,” Kunsel replied. “If you've got a laptop, I can look.”

Sephiroth volunteered his own, grabbling it from the table and signing into Guest before shifting it from his laps to Kunsel's. It was the most modern machine, his own still sometimes shut down without warning and Genesis went for style over substance.

“Where else would it be if not in medical history?” Zack asked.

“Try project history,” Sephiroth replied. When Zack looked at him frowning, he elaborated. “Sometimes he uses the term interchangeably, particularly for fringe experimentation.”

“What's fringe experimentation?” Cloud asked.

“Personal projects with limited obvious returns or gains for the company but he's interested in it,” Sephiroth replied. “Augmentation, cross-breeding, biological testing.”

“You've been scrubbed,” Kunsel answered, turning the screen around to show both him, Genesis and Cloud. “File not found, and it was definitely there on Tuesday. Probably means you've kicked up to a different clearance level.”

“Can you access it?” Cloud asked.

“Maybe,” Kunsel said. “It would need a Science department clearance code to get in.”

“How do we get that?” Zack asked, as Kunsel moved the screen back around to himself. 

“I might have one,” Kunsel admitted. “Not for sure, and if it's wrong, a breach could be logged. Obviously, I'd cover my tracks, but the risk is there.”

“We just admitted to planning to murder an executive,” Genesis replied, bluntly. “I think we're past a little risk.”

“Why aren't you sure of the code?” Sephiroth asked.

“The code sequence is twelve digits,” Kunsel said. “I've seen a twelve digit code used by one of the professors during VR recordings a couple of times.”

“Which professor?” Angeal asked.

Kunsel hesitated. “Hollander,” he admitted. “He doesn't cover the keypad. I know you have a decent relationship with him, but he's also kind of a mess so it doesn't seem like he'd use multiple twelve digit keys and remember them all.”

“That may be overstating it,” Angeal replied, lightly. “Hollander sees to our medical needs and progresses, that's all. It's no different than the relationship you or Zack would have with your own doctors.”

“Am I supposed to have just the one?” Zack asked. “Is that a First class thing?”

“Possibly,” Genesis replied. 

“No, that can't be true.” Angeal replied. “We were assigned as SOLDIER cadets, remember? Perhaps because he did our initial assessments, he simply stayed on? Who did yours?”

“No idea,” Zack said. “I get different people almost every time. Kunsel?”

“Same,” Kunsel said. “But I didn't have high level assessment scores. Weren't some of yours all over the place too?”

“Oh, yeah,” Zack nodded. “I'd never used some of the materia before so it was a bust.”

“Materia requires focus,” Genesis replied. “It's not exactly your strong suit.”

“You did better than most with monsters,” Angeal replied. “You're very resourceful, no one else considered using the torches when they had weapons.”

“Cloud's the materia natural,” Zack said, exchanging a brief smile with him.

“Huh,” Kunsel intoned, typing rapidly as Sephiroth leaned to look at the screen. “Knew it. I bet he has his passwords saved on his terminals too.”

“You remembered this passcode from having seen it a handful of times?” Sephiroth asked.

“I have a really good memory,” Kunsel replied. “Everyone hates me on trivia night. There's still some restrictions to classified but – hang on, we got Cloud!”

“How do you know that's Cloud?” Zack asked, leaning over. “It just says Sample C and numbers.”

“Sample stats fit,” Kunsel answered. “I sorted by date of creation, this one was Monday which is when the letter must have been printed. Then if you look here, it says initial mako treatment unsuccessful but under here – that's a treatment code, that...Hollander doesn't have access to, but it's on the same day and is listed as 'pending'.”

Pending meant they were going to follow up, Angeal realised. Pending meant they were entirely correct in their assumptions that Cloud wouldn't be safe here alone. 

“So you still don't know what exactly I was given,” Cloud said. 

“Maybe not,” Kunsel said, going back to his typing. “Hollander has high enough clearance for some of the lab areas surveillance. Any clue where you were?”

Cloud looked down, eyes searching around. “It was a dark room with medical screens and this kind of a chair,” Cloud said, his voice tighter now. They would need to keep an eye on him for more trauma signs too. “I remember thinking that was weird, because the medical room had a bed. I remember trying to move my arm, something was pinching at my fingers but I couldn't. It wasn't tied down, but the arms of the chair were hollow and I couldn't – my arm wouldn't come loose.”

“Machines to one side, lighting around the wall edges?” Sephiroth asked.

Cloud looked up at him, “Yeah.”

“It's the nursery,” Sephiroth replied. “Level 6.3D.”

“Nursery?” Cloud asked.

“That method of restraint is used when a subjects arms need to remain still due to locating a vein or monitoring and are unlikely to do be able to do so by themselves.” Sephiroth replied. “Moving during procedures like that can be dangerous.”

Cloud stared at him for a minute. “Yeah, I would really have hated me dying getting in the way of them trying to kill me.” 

“I can't get in that section,” Kunsel replied, clicking through certain buttons. “I'm sorry, buddy.”

“Thanks for trying,” Zack said, putting his hand on Kunsel's shoulder.

“Sorry I wasn't more helpful,” Kunsel replied. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Not unless you can use the system to find something on Hojo that will help us bury the bastard,” Genesis replied. “Calling a place for extensive restraints a nursery. There is something wrong with that man.”

“There are several things wrong with him,” Sephiroth replied. “The biggest being he cannot live up to his predecessor.”

“Gast?” Angeal replied. 

Sephiroth nodded. “He was the foremost expert in the Ancients.” 

This was a story they had heard before, albeit in pieces. Professor Gast had been the head of Shinra's Science development projects when Sephiroth was young and visited him frequently, but he disappeared – likely died – when he was very young. Sephiroth had a strong attachment to his memory of the man, but it was hard to consider him to be an honourable person if he knew, possibly participated, in experimentation on young children in the quest for a stronger SOLDIER. 

Genesis huffed. “Wonderful, the rest of us need suffer Hojo because the man is in a pissing contest with a dead man with a history obsession.”

“Don't talk about him like that,” Sephiroth said with a surprising amount of heat. 

“Get your head out of your clouds,” Genesis countered. “If he worked here, especially in the Science department, then he put his interest in the Ancients above a literal child and does not deserve absolution for that.”

“You don't understand,” Sephiroth replied. “You can't.”

“Perhaps not,” Genesis replied. “What I do know is that his actions led to Hojo having the power that he has, which has hurt our own people. I've been more than patient, more restrained than I thought possible but this has to end. One way or another.”

“Cloud will need medical oversight at some point soon,” Angeal replied. “It needs to be a priority. Even if someone is always here, there's no guarantee they won't come for answers even during something as simple as a medical check up. Is there a way to unflag him in the system?”

“I can't delete a whole profile,” Kunsel said. “They'll notice and there has to be back ups. They definitely don't keep everything here, which I'm guessing you already know since you went to Junon on a mission a Third class could have taken and rooted around.”

Angeal stared at the SOLDIER Second class, who squirmed a little under his gaze. “How do you know that?”

“I was checking all leads,” Kunsel replied. “I thought maybe you were onto something in Junon since the President was going there.”

“You could've asked,” Zack protested.

“I thought you'd want plausible deniability,” Kunsel shrugged. “I figured you'd want to go after Professor Hojo and were looking for some dirt on him since you hadn't stormed down there and just taken his head off.”

“That was Plan A,” Zack sulked.

“A plan that puts you in danger,” Angeal told him. “We need other options. Gast left the company before he died, right? Was he the only one?”

“You're thinking there might be a living independent with Shinra knowledge?” Kunsel asked.

“They don't allow people with that level of knowledge to quit,” Sephiroth replied. “They know too much.”

“Even when they're sacked, they don't so much use sacks so much as body bags.” Genesis added. “You know that.”

This was spiraling. Every turn, every peaceful possibility was being wiped out leaving only a destructive and bloody path forwards. 

“Do you have leave saved up?” Kunsel asked. “You just got back, right?”

“I have some,” Angeal replied. “Do you think there may be someone to talk to me?”

“No, but you have the knowledge of mako infusion and SOLDIER side effects even without the dosages.” Kunsel said. “You might be okay with a normal doctor.”

“What doctor is going to treat a SOLDIER and risk Shinra's wrath?” Genesis asked.

“That's why I asked Commander Hewley,” Kunsel said. “Wouldn't your mother be willing to do it?”

Angeal blinked. “My mother isn't a doctor.” Where had he gotten that from?

Kunsel looked at him quizzically, “Really? I don't usually make mistakes that big on data mining.”

“Don't you think I'd be the one to know?” Angeal asked. 

“Yeah,” Kunsel said, waving him off. “Sorry, I must be sleep deprived or thinking of a different file. I'll keep digging.”

“That's not a bad idea,” Genesis said. “About going elsewhere, not your mothers lack of a college education. I'm supposed to leave for a mission next week. Wutai is about as far from Shinra as possible.”

“But also dangerous,” Sephiroth replied. “Especially if he's called in for a pre-mission medical.”

“We don't get those,” Cloud replied. “But I don't know if I'd be much use in Wutai.”

“You don't need to be of use,” Genesis replied. “Just work on being able to blend in with the other infantrymen and while we're gone, perhaps you can do a little digging into what would happen if the President were permanently indisposed.” 

“The company would go to the Vice President,” Sephiroth replied. “Rufus Shinra may be more ruthless than his father. There's no guarantee that would change things.”

“So basically the options are deal with Professor Hojo and face the president being pissed and retaliating, deal with Hojo and the President and then have to deal with the VP who will probably retaliate or...” Zack looked around nervously. “Is there an option I'm not seeing?”

“We could leave,” Genesis said, quietly. “Walk down and destroy the Science department then walk away from all of it.”

Of anyone, Angeal hadn't expected that to come from Genesis. There was no one who enjoyed his status as a celebrity more than he did, who engaged more with fans than he did and SOLDIER had been his drive for a long time.

“Could you really do that?” Angeal asked. “Give up being a SOLDIER First?”

“Goddess help us all, but I think Zack may be right.” Genesis said. “There are going to be consequences and we may simply have to find a way to live with that.”  
  
Sometimes, the pride he had in his friends and partners snuck up on him unexpectedly. Moments when they were willing to make sacrifices or push back against injustices even if it took someone they cared for to be effected first.

“And the other soldiers that going missing?” Cloud asked. “You said it wasn't just about me.”

“Find them,” Genesis said, placing his palms upwards. “What else would we do with our time? Get as absorbed as Zack in those dreadful soap operas he's developing an addiction to? I think I'd rather die.”

“Hey!” Zack said. “It's just one and it's weirdly interesting.”

“They'll retaliate,” Sephiroth replied. “Friends, family, public perception.”

“Since when do you care what people think of you?” Genesis asked.

“I don't,” Sephiroth said. “You do.”

“Yes, well.” Genesis cleared his throat. “If the public cannot see through blatant smear campaigning, they clearly do not deserve me.”

“You don't save people because they deserve it,” Zack said. “You do it because it's the right thing to do. I don't want to give that up”

  
“You should tell them the truth,” Cloud said, breaking his silence. “SOLDIER. They should know what happened to their friends and squadmates. You said SOLDIER was yours, you can't treat their right to the truth as leverage because they have a right to know either way.”

“No,” Zack's smile flickered. “We shouldn't. I'm a First class and I didn't know any of this was happening until a week ago. No more covering up for the shady stuff, okay?”

“ _YES_!” 

All eyes turned to Kunsel, who looked a little abashed but pointed to the screen. “Sorry, I got through the firewall! I got the formula you were given! That means you can treat the mako sickness with the right levelers and you'll be up and breaking Zack's face in no time.”

“That was one time!” Zack protested, but he threw his arms around Kunsel's neck. “Way to go! Can you use this to do it?”

Sephiroth strained to look around at the screen and nodded, “Yes.”

“Yes!” Zack laughed, flinging himself at the back of the couch. “Kunsel, I owe you big for the rest of time.”

“Are you kidding?” Kunsel flexed his fingers. “I got into the Science department server! Do you have any idea how many times I've tried to do that? I've spent entire weekends trying and it just went through in about half an hour?”

“This means no medical?” Cloud asked.

“No,” Genesis told him, with a smile. “No medical.”

“I'll print it off in case the Turks patch it,” Kunsel said. “I can't believe that worked!”

Sephiroth was still staring at the screen.

“Do you think there'll be a problem?” Angeal asked.

“No,” Sephiroth replied, glancing up to Angeal. “This is my medical information.”

“Oh, yeah,” Kunsel put his hand on the screen. “I'm not reading any of it, I swear! I know that would be a huge invasion of privacy.”

Sephiroth pulled his hand away. “I want to read it.”

“I'm sure it's nothing you haven't seen,” Kunsel said. 

“No,” Sephiroth said, bluntly. “I haven't.”

Angeal felt his mouth open. “It's not redacted?”

“No,” Sephiroth replied.

Kunsel held the laptop out, shifting it over onto Sephiroth's lap so he can run over to Gen's impossibly noisy printer. Angeal had to fight the urge to go and stand with his partner, he knew how badly he had wanted answers that Hojo was never going to give him and at least some of them were right there, on a screen and found by accident.

“Well?” Genesis asked. Sephiroth looked at him. “It's a medical file. Was I right? Am I the oldest?”

Sephiroth laughed, out loud and in front of people. It was a short laugh, but that surely had to be a sign of an incoming apocalypse. “Yes.”

“I knew it!” Genesis preened. “It's why I'm so wise.”

Cloud snorted loudly, Angeal catching sight of him hiding his face on Genesis's shoulder before he raised his fingers to the bridge of his nose because of course, a monumental personal moment for Sephiroth and Genesis absolutely had to make it about him.

"I'm absolutely throwing you a birthday party this year," Zack all but threatened.

“One recipe for an enhanced Cloud Strife,” Kunsel said. Angeal held out his hand for the paper; Sephiroth was still understandably transfixed by information about himself. “If I disappear or die horribly for it, someone give my fish to my mother.”

“We're not going to let anything happen to you,” Zack swore. 

“Better not,” Kunsel said. “I know all the dirt on you.”

“Not as much as I've got on you,” Zack replied.

“Oh yeah?” Kunsel asked.

"Yeah!"

“I think he needs a check in,” Angeal whispered against Genesis's ear. This had to be killing him, Genesis definitely wanted to know what that file said but Cloud had given Angeal an opening to move there first and he was less likely to upset him by disparaging how big a moment this had to be for him.

It said a lot about how deeply focused Sephiroth was that he jolted when Angeal crouched down beside him, so Angeal place his hand on his thigh in the hopes it helped him feel steady. It was impossible to imagine how intense this had to feel; all he knew of his mother was that she passed shortly after his birth and that Hojo had dropped many hints over the years that he was his biological father. The idea of not having his parents made his heart ache for him, that the most information he had ever gotten about himself had been down to a determined friend of Zack trying to help Cloud and stumbling over it. He deserved better.

“I won't look if you don't want me to,” Angeal whispered, letting Kunsel and Zack bicker in the background be as close to privacy as they could have. “It can just be yours.”

“Mine and everyone who works with Professor Hojo,” Sephiroth huffed. “He thinks he's clever.”

_He sounds angry._

It was strange to think about because it didn't sound like the irate anger he got with Genesis or the exhausted anger after a long and messy battle. It was bitter and emotion-laden; something he would expect more from Genesis.

“I'm sorry,” Angeal moved his thumb over his thigh in a way he hoped was comforting, but whether Sephiroth could feel that through those pants was a question. 

“Why are you sorry?” Sephiroth asked. “I'm glad I know he's as much of a mess as a parent than he is as a scientist.”

“I'll understand if you feel differently about him,” Angeal replied. “We could try to find another way.”

Sephiroth said nothing for a beat. “Perhaps I should feel differently, but I don't.”

“You don't have to feel anything,” Angeal assured him. Losing his father had been devastating, but Angeal knew this was different. His father had been a good man.

“When it comes to parents, I highly recommend not giving a damn.” Trust Genesis to come out with the wrong thing to say at the exact wrong moment. Besides which, he was lying through his teeth. Angeal knew first hand how much the damage from years of being largely ignored and unengaged by his parents with had done to his best friends sense of self, even if he couldn't admit he very much gave several damns. “Saves a lot of time and energy.”

Sephiroth didn't call him out, either because he hadn't noticed or because something else on the screen had caught his attention. “I was brought here when I was young,” Sephiroth sounded fascinated by the idea. 

“That's exciting,” Angeal said, trying to show as much enthusiasm for the idea as he could. “Does it say where from? Perhaps you have a cousin once removed you didn't know about.”

“It doesn't,” Sephiroth replied simply. “You may look.”

“Thank you,” Angeal asked, itching to see what was so interesting that the idea of a family member couldn't distract him from it but he had to wait until Sephiroth had turned the screen so he could look at the file. It only took a moment to find exactly what he was supposed to be looking for: under _MOTHER_ was written 'Sample L' (deceased 1979). Perhaps that meant it was a donated – or worse, 'donated' – egg from someone else? If so, why not simply tell Sephiroth that? Why come up a story about a woman called Jenova who died shortly after his birth? Unless she was a surrogate of some kind but why draw attention to her at all? “El?”

“Not only that.” Sephiroth moved the screen to the bottom, which had in addition to several number blocks had something even more curious written in block capitals. 

Sephiroth's mothers name, or at least, the name he had known his whole life.

“The Jenova Project?”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note to say that Cloud is in no way in a mentally healthy place right now in terms of what he's thinking of himself, he is struggling with trauma aftermath and if that is triggering for you, please be careful for this one.

“The Jenova Project?” 

Cloud could barely keep his eyes open, let alone process what was happening around him despite how hard he was trying to. Even if he was staying awake longer, there were still moments where everything would slip away and he'd have to claw his way back to the moment just to see and hear what was on around him. It was terrifying, this out of control feeling and tired was an understatement. Even just lifting a spoon on some fruit and yoghurt thing Angeal had given him this morning felt like lifting weights; he had steadfastly refused Zack's help again after last time but it took almost an hour to finish a small bowl and he found it hard not to fall asleep afterwards. 

Now he wasn't just passing out and losing time but actually sleeping, it seemed like his brain was trying to make sense of what happened to him and kept replaying random, horrifying flashes of things without context – a voice talking about his 'below average' something, the feeling of cold metal stinging his bare skin, even the feeling of hot tears rolling down the sides of his face and clinging uncomfortably at his ears where he couldn't even wipe them away. As much as he wanted to understand what was happening to him, what would happen to him, he desperately didn't want to see what else his brain was going to throw at him when he was down. It was hard enough to try to keep going as normally as he could. There was no time to fall apart.

It hadn't been so bad this morning. Genesis had crowded him close and he didn't seem to mind when Cloud leaned his chin on his forearm to listen to him go over one of his copies of Loveless which had writing scribbled all over the margins, talking about each line in turn and some ideas about what it meant. Cloud had tried to listen, but focus wasn't easy. Not that Genesis seemed to mind whether or not he had an attentive audience or not, though he had pushed his legs against Cloud's and seemed to be bumping up against them on purpose every now and then. Even when Cloud moved away when Kunsel came to the door, there had been a flash of something that he might have thought was upset if not for the fact he knew how private they were about their romantic relationships and he wasn't about to be the one to out that. Hadn't he caused enough trouble without putting their private lives on display?

Now felt different; he had gathered that they had found Sephiroth's medical file, which he had apparently never seen in full before. For someone who claimed not to wonder about things like his age, he was staring very intensely at it. Angeal had moved over to sit with him as he looked. Even then, there seemed like there was something everyone else seemed to know that he didn't because Angeal was trying to backtrack through something and Sephiroth wasn't having it.

“I think that just means it's part of the project that ended up being SOLDIER,” Kunsel interrupted his bantering with Zack to glance back. “It's on every SOLDIER file.”

“What does my mother have to do with the SOLDIER project?” Sephiroth asked.

“Your mother?” Kunsel perked up visibly.

“Jenova,” Sephiroth said.

“I don't know what it has to do with your mom but Jenova cells are in most SOLDIER files along with the individual mako balances,” Kunsel said. “So it must be something that needs to be tailored to the individual.”

“I don't see mine,” Sephiroth replied.

“Let me check,” Kunsel said, moving over to the laptop and tapping it in a way that felt like he was punching in every key to Cloud's head. “Restricted access. Maybe something above Hollanders clearance level?”

“Or there's the fact Hojo and Hollander hate each other,” Genesis said. “Why would they willingly share any information when they could goad over the other? Especially given it's _you_.”

“Why would my mothers cells have anything to do with it?” Sephiroth asked.

“No clue,” Kunsel replied. “I figured Jenova was an acronym for something, not a person.”

“Perhaps the technique was named after your mother,” Angeal suggested. 

“Was she a scientist?” Kunsel asked.

“I don't know,” Sephiroth replied flatly. 

“We're overlooking the obvious,” Genesis replied. “This is Hojo we're talking about, the same person who you admit tried to use your cells for grafting.”

“Gaia,” Angeal seemed to understand what he was saying before Genesis finished speaking. It sounded important, backed up by the way Genesis had put his hand on his back and was absently stroking his thumb over it.

“It's possible that like Cloud, she was a – I believe the term was 'test sample'?” Genesis asked.

 _Is that what I am now?_ Cloud thought distantly. Nothing but a failed sample test of – wait, what did any of this have to do with his files?

“Why did Sephiroth's file come up when you looked for mine?” Cloud asked Kunsel, who shifted his gaze. 

“It was a set formula,” Kunsel said. 

“My usual,” Sephiroth replied.

“But –“ Cloud started, trying to wrap his mind around the idea. “This was your induction?”

“No,” Sephiroth replied. “I don't remember my induction. This is just maintenance.”

Meaning this was something he went through regularly enough for it to not be a big deal. No big deal for him but enough to nearly kill Cloud. If he ever wanted objective evidence that he was just as weak – 

( _Strong subjects! Not this pathetic child!_ ) 

– it was right there. His body couldn't take one lot of what a SOLDIER First Class went through regularly without almost failing him, maybe it would have failed him if they'd finished what they were doing. Even with mako in him, he would never survive enough to achieve the dream he wasn't even sure he wanted anymore. Cloud thought back to something his first CO had told him when he failed the first time, that no matter what only the strong could join SOLDIER and he just didn't have it in him so he ought to accept that and move on. Looking at the way he could barely focus, that he couldn't hold his own weight, the fact the pounding behind his eyes was becoming so intense he could hear it and he couldn't even really focus on what was being said around him, maybe that CO was right.

Maybe he should have just kept his head down and left. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten so attached to Zack, he'd only upset him now he knew how pathetic he really was. Maybe it would have been better if he'd died down there and they could have gone on with their lives instead of throwing their own dreams away on a whim for someone who wasn't worth it.

Cloud felt his stomach lurch and he panicked; he didn't want to throw up on Genesis or his floor but he wasn't sure where the basin was and he could feel his vision go blurry, his eyes stinging and he tried to move to wipe them and he couldn't – 

– he couldn't move his arms and there were people touching him – 

_Oh, gods, stop, please stop, please, stop, stop,_ stop, **stop!**

Cloud realised his arms were moving above his head, but that couldn't be right, he hadn't been able to move them a minute ago, what was happening, why were his legs bent, how was he sitting on something – 

A few hard blinks later and he realised the light was wrong, it was so bright in here and he was sitting up against something hard and cold. There was something being put on his arms and he couldn't – he didn't – so he kicked out as hard as he could, hearing something maybe someone bang against something.

“I think perhaps something simpler,” that voice was familiar. Genesis? “Yes, that will work better.”

“Cloud?” 

That was definitely Zack staring at him, he would know that shock of hair anywhere. Zack was here. It took a minute for his brain to catch up to his surroundings, at which point three things became clear: this was Genesis's bathroom, he was sitting on someone's towel and he was largely naked. The last one at least explained why he felt cold enough to shiver.

Cloud coughed, feeling an embarrassed flush creeping into his cheeks. “Am I naked?”

“I left your underwear on!” Zack insisted.

A glance down and yep, he was sitting around a fully-dressed Genesis and Zack in nothing but a pair of underwear. This was going well. “Why?”

“Because you didn't want me to see you naked before and I didn't know if that'd changed,” Zack said.

Which, yes, but – 

“Shall we get something on you?” Genesis suggested, pulling what looked like a dark, fuzzy bathrobe off his arm and holding out an arm. “Thread your arm through and Zack can do the other side, there we are. Is that better?”

Cloud clutched the oversized robe around himself, the feeling of the fabric more grounding than anything else. It was soft and warm, so he rubbed his cheek against it just to get a better feel of it on his skin. Then he nodded, because it _was_ better. Now he was just confused; hadn't they just been talking to Kunsel on the couch? How did that lead to him mostly naked on the bathroom floor?

“What happened?” Had he lost consciousness again? 

“Just a bad turn,” Genesis told him. “Not unexpected, given the circumstances. Do you still feel nauseated?”

Cloud thought about it; his stomach was clenched, but it felt more like anxiety than he was going to throw up. “Did I throw up?”

“Impressively,” Genesis told him. “Hence the clean up involved. I think you may have pushed yourself a little too far too quickly.”

Cloud groaned more from embarrassment than from anything else. “Sorry,” he said.

“You okay?” Zack asked. Now that he could focus, it was obvious he was upset from the way he was twisting his hands and Cloud kicked himself for once again hurting him.

“Yeah,” Cloud said.

“Would you say that even if you weren't okay?” Zack asked.

“I'm just tired,” Cloud said, relieved he could just move his arms around in front of him. He bent them back and forth, just because he could.

“You want to go have a nap?” Zack said.

( _Weak in every sense!_ )

“Okay!” Zack's eyes were wide, his mouth open. “No naps! That's fine!”

“Go and get some of the juice from the fridge, puppy. The good one, not the horrible swill you drink.” Genesis reached over to pat Zack on the shoulder. “I don't think getting dehydrated will help matters”

Zack glanced to Cloud, the worry on his face bringing a sour, bitter taste of guilt into his mouth. “Be right back,” he said, his hand moving towards Cloud before he dropped it, instead putting it through his hair instead.

Cloud drew his knees up, letting his forehead drop onto his knees and focusing on just breathing. Maybe if he could just push it away, he could get up and stop feeling like was pathetic and helpless.

“May I touch you?” came Genesis's voice.

Cloud was about to say yes, he'd noticed already that Genesis had a thing about being able to touch people and he didn't really want to tell him no when he obviously liked it. At the same time, the idea of being touched at all made his head feel light and his skin prickle with sweat. Given how close Genesis was to him, it was going to be hard to hide that.

“No is always an acceptable answer,” Genesis told him. “I'll be more upset if you force yourself.”

“Sorry,” Cloud mumbled.

“Do you always apologise for things you're not at fault for?” Genesis asked.

“No,” Cloud said. “Did I throw up on you?”

“Mostly yourself,” Genesis said. “A little on the couch, but truthfully, it's seen more damning stains than that over the years.”

“Sorry,” Cloud said automatically.

“What did I just say?” Genesis told him. “It's only a couch.”

“It's yours and I messed it up,” Cloud insisted.

“Hardly the first mess on it,” Genesis said. “Between wine, sex and Zack trampling his boots all over it, I'd consider buying a new one if I weren't in the middle of deciding if I want to be here at all.”

Another reminder of how much trouble he was causing just by being here. Were they really considering just leaving Shinra? Over what, some idiot from nowhere who couldn't keep out of trouble?

“Do you really want to leave?” Cloud asked.

“I'm not sure,” Genesis said. “Perhaps it says something unkind about my character that such a decision is only at the forefront of my mind now when I did have some idea of how heinous this treatment was. I wasn't aware of this extent and I don't enjoy being made a fool of.”

“It's your dream,” Cloud said, quietly.

“I used to think so,” Genesis replied. “I have long since realised to be a hero in Shinra is to be the villain to it's enemies and I'm loathe to rely on their good graces for my own salvation. Perhaps I need to look elsewhere for destiny's call.”

“I don't think destiny has my number,” Cloud replied.

“I wouldn't be so sure,” Genesis told him. “I believe the Goddess has plans for you, Cloud Strife and she's not easily denied.”

“You don't believe that,” Cloud argued.

“I'm many unsavory things, most of them quite fun unsavory things,” Genesis replied. “I'm no liar, not when it's important.”

Cloud fought the flinch when the door burst open again, revealing Zack and some kind of refillable bottle. Zack dropped down onto his knees loudly, putting out the bottle so Cloud could grasp it. It was more of a relief than anything else that he was able to grip it and pull it to his lips, taking a few sips of what tasted like something lemon and a little bubbly.

“You're going to wreck your knees doing that,” Genesis said.

“You sound so old when you say stuff like that,” Zack retorted. “I think I see a grey hair.”

“It's probably Sephiroth's,” Genesis replied coolly. “They get everywhere. Angeal has one of those pet hair rollers to get them off his uniform so he doesn't have to wash it as frequently.” 

Zack snorted. “Okay, I get you don't want to nap but maybe lie down? Play some PHS games?”

“My screen's broken,” Cloud said. Something else he would have to deal with on top of couch surfing and the maybe not having a job and writing to his mother in case she worried.

“You can use mine!” Zack offered. “Do you want to try to walk or can I safely pick you up?”

If Zack still hadn't learned the valuable lesson that it was _never_ safe to pick him up, Cloud doubted he would now. So he put his hands on the sides of the bathtub and pulled himself up, perching on the side of the bathtub to catch his breath. Damn it, he was so frustrated by his own inability to function. Everything was exhausting. If he was fed up with it, he couldn't imagine how irritated everyone else had to be with his lack of progress.

“I'm going to put my arm here so just slide in when you're ready,” Zack said.

Cloud moved to try and put his arm under Zack's and across his back, testing his feet by standing and letting the robe fall down far enough that it was a tripping hazard.

“Angeal's?” Zack asked, patting the robe.

Genesis scoffed. “You didn't think Sephiroth was a fuzzy bathrobe person, did you?” 

“No,” Zack said, as Cloud tried to see if his leg would hold his weight. It trembled, but he was still upright – that had to count for something, right? “But some people want soft and comfy and some people want armour, right?”

“You remembered,” Genesis replied.

“It was less than a week ago,” Zack shuffled forwards with him, as he took a few more slow steps. “Need to stop?”

“No,” Cloud said firmly. 

It wasn't that far, he could make it. 

Or at least, that was what he assumed until he got into the living area and Angeal stopped them, placing his hand on Zack's shoulder instead of Cloud's much to his relief. Even if on some level, Cloud understood it was just Angeal, he hadn't spent enough time around him to memorise the senses of being around him and it took longer to talk his brain round to the idea nothing was wrong. So stupid.

“You look a lot more present,” Angeal told him. “I'd feel better if we could get a real doctor to make sure you're doing as well as you seem to be, but given their track record, I think we'll just have to play field medics for a bit.”

Cloud tried not to laugh, “This is well?”

“On Wednesday morning, you were completely unresponsive.” Cloud fought the shudder that came with that thought. “Now your vital functions are working, you can take some assisted steps and even if your awareness if struggling, you're going long periods without losing it. That isn't just well, that's exceptional.”

It was humiliating how much hearing something that simple, that he wasn't just doing well but exceptionally so, hit him so deep in his gut that he wanted to crumble then and there. 

“He's not really feeling like napping but I'm going to lend him my PHS to lie down with for a bit,” Zack said. “Even _exceptional_ people gotta rest.”

“Shut up,” Cloud blushed, feeling the sting of it in his cheeks.

“Sephiroth is also lying down, so I'm sure he'll be glad of a little company since I confiscated his laptop,” Angeal said. “I apologise if I'm subjecting you to a sulk.”

“You actually got him to lie down?” Genesis called from behind them.

“You'd be surprised how effective it is to point out he has nothing scheduled for three more hours and hasn't been sleeping well instead of trying to kick his knees out in an effort to do it,” Angeal replied.

“You have your methods,” Genesis said. “I have mine.”

“You and your methods need to go down and get briefed for a mission if you don't want to raise any eyebrows,” Angeal told him. “I'll text if there's any new developments.”

“That reminds me, I need to get Cloud's screen replaced,” Zack said. “Normally I'd just put it in with equipment but I'm going to guess that might be something to watch out for with creepy surveillance stuff?”

“He learns,” Genesis said.

“Eventually,” Angeal smiled.

“You don't have to replace my screen,” Cloud said. “I'll do it when I can.”

“I can do it,” Angeal offered. “I've done Zack's before, he has a tendency towards juggling his.”

“You don't have to do that,” Cloud said.

“No, but I'd like to,” Angeal said. 

“Okay, no arguing!” Zack declared. “Come on, you can play Materia Match Madness on my PHS. I warn you, though, the level I'm on is hard.”

Cloud had been sure that the bedroom hadn't seemed that far away when he was in it last, but unless there'd been some kind of cosmic shift and the living room had gotten bigger, it probably just said how tired he was. Until Zack announced that he had brought a 'nap buddy' for Sephiroth, he hadn't really registered that he was trying to sleep in here. The delay in what was being said and what he could process was driving him nuts. 

“I don't want to keep you up,” Cloud said, sinking into the mattress and gratefully taking Zack's PHS from him. “I don't know if I can sleep.”

“Neither can I,” Sephiroth admitted, from his spot on the other side of the bed. Even in the low light of the room, he did look as if he was sulking a little bit. “Your presence will have little effect either way.”

“Okay,” Cloud said, because he wasn't sure what else to do. 

Zack reached over to kiss his head, “I'm going to be right outside so just shout if you need anything. Want me to tuck you in? ”

“Don't kiss me, I'm gross,” Cloud protested. The bedclothes were a little slippery, so he was surprised how easy it was to push himself up at the pillows. 

“Then we can be gross together,” Zack said. “You sure you don’t want tucking in?”

“Don't you dare,” Cloud grumbled, kicking a foot uselessly in Zack's direction.

“Sephiroth, do you want tucking in?” Zack asked.

Cloud couldn't contain a snort when Sephiroth told him on no uncertain terms not to attempt it if he wanted all his limbs to remain attached to his body and Zack left, declaring that they were both cranky when they were tired. 

It was a little awkward, which was the nice way of saying it was really awkward. Cloud had a little more awareness of himself today, so he could feel awkward about the fact he was in someone else's bed just for the sake of lying down somewhere quiet with Sephiroth of all people. It felt very personal to lay this close to someone and not talk to them or engage with them, but he also knew Sephiroth was trying to get some sleep so he tried to play games on Zack's PHS with the screen brightness down as far as he could so he could still see it. 

“The Healing materia on the second from the bottom row would increase your point total more,” Sephiroth said, causing Cloud to hit the wrong row in surprise.

“I thought you didn't play games,” Cloud accused.

“I don't,” Sephiroth replied. “It's a strategy game. It's not difficult.”

“I can go sit outside if I'm bothering you,” Cloud offered. Maybe his feet would hold him enough if he leaned on the table and used the wall for support. 

“You aren't,” Sephiroth replied. “Am I bothering you?”

“No,” Cloud said quickly. “You just don't seem very comfortable.”

If anything, he kind of seemed like he was in a resting official pose except horizontal or maybe like he was sleeping in a coffin instead of bed. 

“Neither do you,” Sephiroth replied.

Cloud supposed that was true. “I don't want to fall asleep,” he admitted, quietly. “So I don't want to get too comfortable.”

“Sleep would facilitate your healing process,” Sephiroth said.

“When I'm awake, I don't have to think about what happened.” At least, if he could fake it enough, he could pretend as much. It was a lot easier to tell a dark room that than anyone else. “I don't know what else to do.”

"It becomes routine."

It reminded him that while he'd had this once, Sephiroth had gone through it regularly and aside from some insomnia, didn't seem worse for wear for it. If anything, that just emphasized how he was the strong, powerful and the living embodiment of the potential of a SOLDIER First Class and Cloud was so far from that he shouldn't even still be here.

“Once was enough,” Cloud said quietly. “I couldn't go through that every few months. Only the strong can join SOLDIER. Now I know that isn't me.”

“You shouldn't have been given my dosage configuration or the side effects wouldn't be as severe,” Sephiroth replied. “I drew attention to you and he can be spiteful.”

“The professor?”

Sephiroth huffed. “My _father_.”

Suddenly, what had felt out of reach earlier made sense: that was what he was angry about, that was why they had began talking about parents and that was probably why it seemed like he was upset or angry or something that was hard to read without knowing him more.

“You didn't know?” Cloud asked, before he could think about the fact he was asking an extremely personal question.

“There have been many hints over the years. It made sense given that the company raises plenty of orphans but he rarely shows an interest in others – save you.” Sephiroth replied. “I apologise.”

“I'm not a company orphan," Cloud said. "You didn't do this to me.”

“I may as well have,” Sephiroth replied. 

“It's not your fault I'm too weak to handle it,” Cloud said. 

“I don't find you particularly weak,” Sephiroth told him.

Cloud snorted, “The thing that makes you so much more special than everyone else and it almost killed me. How does that not mean weak?”

“Angeal, Genesis and Zack all built up their tolerance over years,” Sephiroth replied. “If you had been trained and enhanced since before you were born, then it wouldn't have reacted so severely. ”

Cloud sucked in a surprised breath. “Before you were born?”

“Initial dosages began at the beginning of June,” Sephiroth replied. “I was born in December, so they must have been prenatal.”

Just when it didn't seem like it could get any more fucked up, it got more fucked up.

“Your mom was okay with that?” Cloud tried to think of his own mother, how she would do anything for him to try and make him feel happy and safe. It gave him a longing in his chest for her in a way he hadn't felt since he first came to Midgar. 

“It's unclear,” Sephiroth replied. “Whether the enhancements were done with her consent or not is ultimately immaterial. I am what I am. Perhaps Genesis was right all those years ago and I was designed to be Shinra's best piece of weaponry. I don't know why I try to be anything else.”

Cloud poked him on the cheek, which gained him a look of incredulity. “Look like a person to me,” Cloud said. "A stubborn, sulking person but a person."

“A role I've become adept at playing for promotional purposes,” Sephiroth replied.

“Did that role require you to sulk?” Cloud asked “Or be stubborn? Or smug? Or bossy?”

Even in the dark, he looked confused. “I'm bossy?”

“You're really bossy!” Cloud insisted. “You like everything done in a really specific way.”

“For efficiencies sake,” Sephiroth replied.

“Doesn't mean you're not a real hardass about pushing people,” Cloud said. “I've been in the Silver Elite since I was eight and no one ever mentions what a hardass you are.”

“I want people I fight with to improve,” Sephiroth replied. “How will they if they're not being tested to their limits?”

“Kind, too,” Cloud offered. 

“I don't think wanting the best from my co-workers makes me kind,” Sephiroth replied.

“No,” Cloud said. “But you did take me out of the shower where I'd been obsessing naked for an hour about how pathetic I was being and you didn't give me a hard time about that.”

“That was out of your control,” Sephiroth replied.

“You didn't have to help me,” Cloud said. “You chose to. I don't think weapons can make choices.”

“Not the way Scarlet designs them, no.” Sephiroth replied. “They can't tell the difference between a monster and a civilian.”

“Funny too,” Cloud said, trying not to smile. “It's drier than the wastes but it's there.”

“You may stop now,” Sephiroth told him.

“I'm just saying that if I had to pick the symbol or the person to be around,” Cloud said. “Person wins. Person always wins.”

“I'm not sure how much of a person I am without SOLDIER.” So quietly spoken, as if he didn't really want to say it at all but maybe he'd been obsessing over it too. “Or the company.”

“You don't have to go through with it,” Cloud said. “You can figure something out that works for you. I'll just –“

“End up dead in a lab somewhere because it's impossible for you to keep a low profile?” Sephiroth shook his head. “Unacceptable.”

“You're the one who walked me up in just your coat,” Cloud grumbled.

“Would you have preferred I walk you up naked?” Sephiroth asked.

“Me naked draws less attention than you half naked!” Cloud said.

“Nonsense,” Sephiroth replied. 

“Uh-huh,” Cloud said.

“Now you're just being childish,” Sephiroth said, turning to look at him. “Since you were eight?”

“Shut up or I'll add insufferable,” Cloud said. “How would you like to be known as insufferable?”

“At least two people have beaten you to telling me that,” Sephiroth replied.

“As long as you know,” Cloud added.

“I do,” Sephiroth replied. “Eight?”

“I was just sick of feeling like I was so different that no one wanted to be around me,” Cloud admitted with a deep sigh. Sephiroth had spoken openly to him and turn about was only fair. . “I thought if I could be a hero, it would be okay to be different. You were different and no one seemed to hate you for it. They loved you for it instead – at least, the idea of you which I get isn't you but I was eight and everyone hated me. "

"People feared touching me when I was younger," Sephiroth said. "Is fear better than hate?"

"I don't know," Cloud said. ""I just thought if you're special, then it doesn't matter if you don't have friends and you can't keep out of trouble because you're still worth the trouble.”

“You are special,” Sephiroth replied. "Being special doesn't negate the need for the connections with people who care for you. It gives you a responsibility to them to protect them."

"I tried that once," Cloud said, trying not to picture Tifa's face, her fathers expression when he found out what they had done. "It didn't go so well for me."

"It doesn't go well for me all the time either," Sephiroth admitted. "But it doesn't mean I'm not special."

"You're definitely special," Cloud agreed.

"As are you."

“Yeah, I'm so special,” Cloud said. “I can't even win a toe joust!”

“Zack has unusually impressive toe dexterity,” Sephiroth replied. “You survived a process many died during. I look forward to the moment you are ready to test your skills and that moment is coming. It will be a pleasure to show you what you're truly capable of.”

Cloud groaned. “You're going to be a nightmare, aren't you?” 

“I must live up to being known a stubborn, insufferable hardass,” Sephiroth replied. 

Cloud couldn't even really complain because he'd brought that on himself. It might be worth the inevitable bruises from being knocked on his ass if Sephiroth was going to smile at him like that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay on this one, but it's another double length so I hope that makes up for it!

A voice came from behind Genesis on his way back from his pre-mission medical.

“You've made your point.” 

He didn't have to turn around from the elevator to face him to know the Director was addressing him. Over the past two weeks, his apartment had become an oasis away from the company and it was shocking no one had come to address it with them individually more so than the 'gentle nudges' they'd received. 

It was only this morning that Zack had agreed to return to taking his classes, no one was gone for more forty-eight hours at a time and they were never in their own offices for more than a few minutes without prior appointment. Not unusual for him, he tended to avoid making himself readily available to be interrupted at any given moment, but Sephiroth was frequently found in his own because he had a lot of moving parts to touch base with and it would be an invasion of their privacy to bring them into their apartments. Angeal often kept office hours so he could be spoken by other SOLDIERs who tended to view him as more approachable, but he had told people to message and ask him first. Even Zack, who seemed to constantly be hanging around the tower out of normal hours as a creature of social habit, had likely had his general absence noticed.

“What point would that be?” Genesis drawled.

“You're dragging your heels on a mission you fought to get,” Lazard replied. “I have four First classes who won't take missions more than a day from Midgar. How do I fix it?”

The real answer was he couldn't. 

Even with Cloud twelve days into his own recovery – perfectly capable of walking around and entrenched in the trademark new SOLDIER activity of not understanding his own strength, speed or senses – the uneasiness about what would happen next hung over them like the gallows of fate waiting to see if they would willingly place their own necks inside the noose or burn the whole thing down. If anything, the speed at which he had gone from catatonia to acting like an inducted Third class made the danger ever present because most people simply did not bounce back that quickly and it was going to raise eyebrows with the wrong sort. As yet, he hadn't gone further than Zack's apartment once or twice but it was easy to see he was becoming a little frustrated with being unable to change his surroundings. 

Genesis understood; as much as nesting was lovely in the short term, knowing they had a fight ahead of them made him desperate to run out some of his stress so he didn't use it to run a certain Scientist six feet under. The usual method of sparring was more difficult when they were trying to keep a low profile. There was sex, though that had led to coming out of the shower to find Cloud a mild shade of red showing that yes, that enhanced hearing had kicked in and that any attempt to be subtle was not going to work. Not that such things particularly mattered to him, but it would to the others. It had been a little funny to watch Angeal realise why Cloud was having a trouble looking at him. 

So with no sustainable relief for the teetering on the edge of something daunting, there was little Lazard could do until they could settle on a decision of their own. There were really only two acceptable avenues now: either the company had to change likely with some lethal urging to do so or they would have to leave and raise hell. 

The former would involve some maneuvering to get the desired result and even then, it wouldn't be a guarantee because either the President could go back on his word or in the event to be his soon to be mysterious death, the Vice President could decide to stubbornly cling to his fathers outdated beliefs or decide that he ought to at least make a show of being a loyal son. 

The latter would be messy, force a choosing of loyalties, a schism within SOLDIER and throwing all semblance of their lives here away. Anything the company had which could cause trouble could be thrown to wolves to let them tear them apart, Sephiroth would lose his only real source of his answers, they would have to contend with Shinra on a wider scale and it would be as good as declaring war on the company. 

To live with a target on their backs wasn't particularly appealing. 

To place the few people they would worry for outside of the company in potential danger even less so: Zack's parents in Gongaga, his own in Banora (a charming conversation to have with them if he could get hold of them for long enough in a safe enough way to tell them and then get it through their skulls he was not simply being dramatic for drama's sake), Angeal's mother and Cloud's mother and a girl he had left on good terms with in a small town in the mountains, Nibelheim. Not a lot of people but also not exactly an easy feat to get in proper, private conversation with any of them.

Unless – 

It was a risky line of thought that could backfire horribly. For one, to warn them in person would mean having somewhere to direct them and trying to find a place that would have a limited influence from Shinra was going to be a problem. The most obvious answer was Wutai itself, but there was no chance of brokering anything of the sort quickly there. Too much blood and not enough of it their own.

What they needed more than anything else was the time to get their shots in order before taking them and information that may come from somewhere other than the Shinra building. One of Angeal's former contacts from the war had been forthcoming and helpful about the fact Junon had it's own on site information storage and lab which indicated that other major Shinra holdings likely had the same. With the help of Zack's little gossip, they had narrowed down a few other potential places of interest. Cloud had also added another, noting there was a manor house that belonged to Shinra in the town he had grown up in when they had briefly discussed who the likely targets would be if Shinra were to retaliate. 

It was only a matter of time before someone asked of Cloud and it was better he was no longer in the building when that happened. Not that he thought Cloud would agree to that, which was probably why Sephiroth had shirked his office time to drag him into his apartment – they needed the space – to get a better idea of how his combative abilities were going under enhancement. They could respect his desire to be part of this fight, but only if he had the capabilities to do so without risking serious injury. 

If they could calculate it right, it could be possible to do a round trip with no outwardly obvious signs of ill will beyond the need for a break. It would definitely drive home the seriousness of it all, neither Angeal nor he had been back to Banora since the end of the war. It was a pain to get to from Midgar and back again without taking significant time off, so the last time had been when war was declared over and they swung around the long way back to Midgar. The main base ops camp being targeted in Wutai was not terribly far from Nibelheim if you didn't mind a little sea faring. Gongaga was on the other side of the continent, but there was a small port not too far from it that would take you to the southern isles. It wasn't entirely regulated – read not entirely legal – but discretion would be the name of the game. Not a simple thing with them, but the thing about having crafted an aesthetic for yourself was that few people easily recognised you without it. Sometimes as little as leaving his coat off was enough to pass through the SOLDIER floor unnoticed if he didn't cause a fuss, something he had been utilising to it's full extent over the last two weeks.

The question was – what then? 

They could warn of the incoming storm, but how to deal with it? Even just for Angeal and himself, his father had a company to run and he didn't think he'd seen Gillian leave the house more than a handful of times in all the time they'd known each other. Telling them to go somewhere else for an indeterminate amount of time from a few days to a few months if they were really struggling would be like pulling teeth. If they chose to leave, it wouldn't just be their lives that were uprooted. It didn't make the idea of remaining feel any more attractive, he was loathe to cave to a glorified hostage situation, but even if they weren't really the sort of family that did things like talk about love and other uncomfortable displays of emotion, he didn't want to leave his parents to deal with the clean up and he was sure the others – save Sephiroth and his current lineage nightmare – would feel similarly. 

“Leave it with me,” Genesis said, because there was potential in it. If they could all leave at the same time and take Cloud, it would scatter them and make him harder to find. Truthfully, in terms of remoteness, Banora wasn't a bad plan since it was in the middle of nowhere with no reactor and no active Shinra presence, even if most of the town were loyalists. It would become untenable if they chose to break with the company, but in the mean time, it sounded like an excellent idea. Angeal and Zack both had leave and if Shinra were going by connection then they would probably assume Cloud would go with Zack. Perhaps he ought to take Kunsel with him, if he'd survived this long, then it brought Zack's odds of not getting sidetracked somewhere up significantly.

“Don't take too long,” Lazard said. 

Genesis waived him off dismissively, his mind active with ideas of how to use this to it's most effective outcome . It wouldn't be out of the question to request a few days post-Wutai to get in some R&R, they had done so before but it would matter little if they granted it. It wouldn't be the first time Genesis had played fast and loose with return dates.

If they chose to return at all. 

There was a surprising lack of noise when he finally reached his apartment, just Angeal humming to himself while cutting up some chucks of meat and it felt strangely empty suddenly. An indicator of how attached he had become to having the noise of four other people in his space.

Angeal looked up. “Zack's friend has taken him out to the tracks to work out some of his nerves.”

“And you're working out some of yours with a kitchen knife?” Genesis asked, sitting down on one of the stools.

“The bubble had to burst eventually,” Angeal replied, which didn't confirm or deny it. “All of this has been hard for him.”

“Because it's been an absolute thrill for everyone else?” Genesis commented.

“You know what I mean,” Angeal told him, punctuating his point with the knife. “He's not used to this.”

“He's not going to get used to it,” Genesis said firmly. He meant it. The idea that it was something to get used to at all had festered uncomfortably in him for far too long. “While I still have no deciding factor in the matter of remaining with the company, Lazard did give me an idea when he was moaning about how long I'm taking to get out to Wutai.”

“Usually you can't go quickly enough in case they ask Sephiroth,” Angeal replied. That had been headed off by them asking Sephiroth and him informing Lazard he needed to wash his hair. It had been met with incredulity that such a thing would take a week, but Sephiroth had simply insisted he had a lot of hair and had been informed it was part of his contract to maintain it properly. What Genesis wouldn't have given to have seen the look on Lazard's face when he read that one. “What's your idea?”

“I think you ought to go home,” Genesis replied. “Not your apartment, but to go see your mother.”

“Why?” Angeal asked, stilling the knife to look at him.

“Because you have leave accumulated,” Genesis replied. “Also because Banora is remote with no reactor and no Shinra presence.”

Angeal caught on. “You want me to bring Cloud?”

“I do,” Genesis replied. “As much as I would enjoy his company in Wutai, I cannot guarantee being able to keep an eye on him there. Cloud is from a reactor town, so going home is not an option, as is Zack. It would be particularly effective if both Zack and Sephiroth left at the same time, giving multiple possibilities of where he could be.”

“Then what?” Angeal replied. 

“Must I think of everything?” Genesis asked.

“Not everything,” Angeal said. “Just a little more forethought before we decide on something.”

Genesis huffed, but supposed he had a point. “If we're able to move sharply, the President will be in Junon by the time the rest of us are likely to be done with our missions and/or leave. The place you helped set up his security. If we were to decide to make him in an offer he cannot survive, it would be a much cleaner road to doing so. The same is true if we decide to leave – we simply wouldn't return.”

“What about SOLDIER?” Angeal asked. “We agreed that regardless of what happened, they deserved to know the truth and we need to know where and how our own people are disappearing.”

“If we decided to enact the change in management, who do you think SOLDIER as a whole would stand with?” Genesis asked. “Us or the executives?”

Angeal looked at him in a way that wasn't all together pleasant, “Us. But those who didn't, it would pit SOLDIER against SOLDIER.”

“There are no clean wars,” Genesis replied. “If the plight of the missing SOLDIERs and the rest of the dirty laundry coming out doesn't persuade someone, they're company through and through and there is little to be done about that. You can't save everyone.”

“That doesn't mean we shouldn't try,” Angeal replied. 

“We will try,” Genesis offered. “But don't expect me to put the lives of people I don't know above the people I love. I won't.”

“I know,” Angeal said. “I just want you to be sure this isn't a reaction you're going to come to regret. You love being a First class. You love the prestige, the celebrity, the power of it. I want you to be sure before you give it away.”

“Honour. Dreams. Pride. The makings of the best of SOLDIER.” Genesis said, putting on his most grandiose tone. 

“Don't make fun,” Angeal frowned. “Those are important.”

“I'm not making fun,” Genesis replied, simply. “While it was everything I wanted at fifteen, I don't think it's my dream anymore. I'm not even sure it ever really was.”

“It was,” Angeal said, his lips twitching with the obvious urge to smile. “You were obsessed!”

Genesis leaned back on the back stool, listening for any telltale signs of company. Nothing. ”Not necessarily with SOLDIER,” he said. “With grand heroism and destiny! When was the last time you felt like you were being heroic?”

“It has become more complicated,” Angeal agreed.

“How can we have pride or honour in actions if we align with those who have none?” Genesis replied. “This feels less and less like the hero of the dawn and more...company lapdog! Not exactly the subject of _my_ dreams.”

Angeal hedged, “I know it's not quite as grand as we envisioned at thirteen.”

“It doesn't feel right,” Genesis admitted. “I thought perhaps this was the sort of thing I would understand more when I was older, but I'm older and if anything, I only have more questions. Every new revelation, every stone unturned reveals something horrifying and it makes everything else feel...hollow. Shiny but meaningless. I don't want to live a meaningless life.”

“It means something to the people we help,” Angeal replied.

“Until they get in the way,” Genesis replied. “Then they become irrelevant. Or if they're SOLDIERs, sent to die screaming in those labs. I don't think you understand what it took not to walk through to his section and string him up in parts today.”

“I do understand,” Angeal said. “Just because I want to be practical about it doesn't mean I don't want him dead before he hurts anyone else. Do you really think I'm happy to let him get away with this?”

“No,” Genesis chuckled, “But I think we've established that communication isn't our strong suit.”

“I like having the opportunity to make a difference in peoples lives, even if it does fuel Shinra's good name to do it,” Angeal replied. “I don't want to give that up either.”

“Then don't,” Genesis shrugged. “Either this will end with the President caving, in which case, I will congratulate him on his recent acquisition of good sense or it will end with the VP in his chair, who is not exactly a fan of his old man and thus may be more amenable to change or at the very least, a stalemate in which respective parties can go about their own business. I don't think either will happen, not without mutually assured destruction, which leaves us with causing a schism between a large part of SOLDIER and the company which could ignite another war. Make no mistake: the Planet has come to rely on Shinra. If we have to tear it apart, they'll need good men to help build the world back up again and I know the very best.”

“Tearing apart peoples lives doesn't seem like the actions of a good man,” Angeal said.

“Luckily, we have one or two not so good ones too.” Genesis shrugged. “I'm not asking you to get your hands dirty if you don't want to.”

“That's not what I said,” Angeal replied. “I'm with you on this, you know that.”

“You can't blame me for wondering. When I tried to explain what exactly was happening with Sephiroth, the complicity of the company, Zack said there was no way you would go along with it but he had no issue believing it of me.” Genesis replied. “I know how you feel about Hojo but you can't blame me for wondering if I'm the only person who feels used. If it was in service of something greater, I can overlook many things but seeing Cloud deal with this showed us what Sephiroth is not showing us and I can't ignore it, not anymore.”

“No,” Angeal said after a beat. “I don't think I can either.”

“Then we already know staying is not an option, don't we?” Genesis replied. 

“They'll burn us,” Angeal replied. 

“So go home and warn your mother,” Genesis said. “She'll probably be thrilled, she's always hated the company. If we'd listened to her, life would be very different.”

“Do you wish we had?” Angeal asked.

Genesis shook his head, “No. I know you don't put much stake in destiny, but I believe we were always meant to be here. And now, I believe it is time we left.”

“It won't be easy,” Angeal said. 

“I don't trust easy,” Genesis replied. “You can take what you want if you're willing to pay the price for it. If the price is how the world sees me, then I suppose notoriety is still better than anonymity. If I cannot be the hero of my own story, then – well, damn them!”

Angeal's laugh sounded startled, “That means appealing to any sense of reason with the president won't work.”

“It wasn't going to anyway,” Genesis waved him off. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”

“Thanks,” Angeal deadpanned.

“If we don't deal with the company now – not just Hojo but the people who gave him the power to do what he has and could very well replace him – then we will look over our shoulders the rest of our lives,” Genesis said, realising as he said it that there was in reality only one option. 

They were going to leave. 

Angeal nodded slowly, “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I'd follow you anywhere,” Angeal said. 

Sometimes Angeal said 'I love you' in the prettiest ways, so Genesis couldn't help smiling at him.

“There would be so much to do,” Angeal continued. “Without Shinra, most of SOLDIER would be facing Cloud's problem of no medical oversight. Jobs, infrastructure, transport, technologies – Shinra has control of so much of the Planet.”

“At least it would never be boring,” Genesis said.

“Life with you never is,” Angeal smiled.

“There are no dreams, no honor remains. The bow of the Goddess is taut, awaiting a target.” Genesis murmured. “We simply have to be willing to fire it.”

“Does that make us the arrow?” Angeal asked.

“SOLDIER will always be a weapon for someone,” Genesis shrugged. “At least it's an upgrade from a President to the Goddess.”

Angeal snorted, shaking his head. “I wish I had your faith.”

“You have me,” Genesis replied, because he knew how to say I love you back without saying it too, you know. “And lucky for you, my faith comes with me.”

The sound of a keycard swiping caught both their attentions and when Cloud came shuffling in the door, glistening with sweat and breathing shallowly, the first instinct would have been to panic if not for the fact Sephiroth was right behind him. 

“I see you didn't go easy on him,” Angeal replied.

“What would be the point in that?” Sephiroth asked.

“Cloud?” Angeal asked. “Are you alright?”

“Parts of me hurt that I didn't know could feel pain,” Cloud groaned. Half the water from the bottle hanging loosely in his hands went over his lips and t-shirt, but it was sweat-ridden already so perhaps that was the point.

“Sounds like you had fun,” Genesis replied.

Cloud just flipped him off and shuffled off into the bathroom, the sound of a _thunk_ where he must have sat down and then the taps to the bath going on. Probably best to enjoy it now before the puppy returned and needed the same treatment.

“How was he?” Genesis asked. “Really.”

“Better than he should have been,” Sephiroth replied bluntly.

It was a double edged sword: of course they wanted Cloud to recover well and quickly, but the rate of change was going from suspicious to the kind of thing they'd normally ask a doctor about if they hadn't allowed this to happen in the first place. 

“Gen has an idea,” Angeal said, breaking them out of their own conclusions.

“I think we ought to engage in a little misdirection to buy us a little more time,” Genesis explained. 

“What are you thinking?” Sephiroth asked.

“We ought to all leave at the same time,” Genesis replied. “Find a mission and take it, save for Angeal and perhaps Zack who both have leave accumulated.”

“To what end?” Sephiroth asked.

“Four possible destinations,” Genesis replied. “I think you were correct in that they know where to hit us with family, so Zack and Angeal could simply go home for a visit. If we can get someone to go with Zack –“

“They'll assume it's Cloud,” Sephiroth nodded. “I assume the same for Wutai?”

“I can requisition an army unit,” Genesis replied. “It'll look odd enough they may think he's gone with me.”

“Leaving Angeal and myself,” Sephiroth replied.

“Of the two, they'll watch Angeal less.” Genesis replied. “As far as places go, Banora is relatively safe unless you're worried about getting smacked on the skull by moody trees. No reactor, no Shinra base, remote access and small population.”

“It won't remain that way once Shinra know something is wrong,” Sephiroth replied. “They'll send the Turks to check in with each location.”

“If we can't outwit a few Turks, we shouldn't have the rank we do.” Genesis replied.

“Zack is on relatively good terms with several too,” Angeal added. “It's possible that could help.”

“I wouldn't trust one,” Genesis said.

“Zack tends to bring out the best in people,” Angeal said. “They could surprise you.”

“Spare me,” Genesis replied. “ As long as Angeal stays with him, then I don't think the Turks will take him anywhere.”

“They may struggle regardless,” Sephiroth added. 

That was bordering on complimentary. “That must have been quite the spar.”

“On instinct, he's impressive,” Sephiroth replied. “But his confidence is not. He would be more effective if he trusted in his own abilities.”

“Those abilities are new,” Angeal reminded him. “It takes time.”

“Even in general combat, which he should have confidence in from Zack's lessons.” Sephiroth settled himself on the stool. “The problem is mental. I have no advice for that.”

“Not everyone has been taking down enemies since they were knee high,” Genesis said.

Sephiroth place his hand down to his knee, then shook his head. “Waist high.”

Oh, for the love of all things – “I was using hyperbole!” Genesis huffed. “If you'd actually tried to use that sword at knee high, you'd have had to use it as a pole vault.”

“That sounds ill advised,” Sephiroth replied. “I would have cut my hands.”

“I think it's terrible that your traumatic childhood has robbed you of the ability to take a joke,” Genesis commented. 

Angeal flinched in the corner of his eye line, but if nothing else, seeing what happened in the short term with Cloud was enlightening to what had been happening in the long term and by hushing up about it, they were only helping Hojo get away with it all. As much as what happened with Cloud had propelled them forward, he had not forgotten the origin of the rumbling rage that felt hot enough to boil his blood had began with Sephiroth. If he'd had a better aim at fifteen, none of this would have happened but hitting out in blind rage was by definition not the most precise method of ending someone's life.

Angeal said nothing and for a moment, it seemed like it would be another in a long time of awkward pauses that came up around this sort of thing before Sephiroth spoke.

“Then what is your excuse?” Sephiroth asked.

Genesis laughed, partly because yes, alright, sometimes he had thin skin but mostly because it was the most Sephiroth had sounded like himself since Monday, since the medical file revelation. It made him feel hopeful for the first time in quite a while.

“I must be mad,” Genesis shrugged. “Wouldn't be the first misdiagnosis from Hollander, would it?”

“Did he actually do the evaluation?” Angeal asked. “I thought he mostly sat there while you drove him – er, treated him to Loveless for three days.”

“No,” Genesis grinned. “I also sang the musical version.”

“You didn't,” Angeal said. “You can't sing!”

“Excuse me?” Genesis put his hand on his heart. So he wouldn't win any awards for it, but he wasn't that bad. “You wound me!”

“There were rumours Veld had a tape of it to use against particularly difficult interrogation subjects,” Sephiroth replied. 

Genesis stood up, “I'm not going to sit here and be insulted.”

“Standing won't make it less true,” Sephiroth told him. 

“No, but I'm going to change and will hopefully come out to the two of you having come to your senses about my obvious musical talent,” Genesis declared. 

Even if he hadn't really been down in medical long enough to get the smell lingering, they had decided to take precautions considering what they were quite sure was some sort of panic attack the previous week. Cloud had settled more since, but expecting him to be battle ready so quickly without potential repercussions was a mistake they didn't want to make. 

Ultimately, he decided against getting back into uniform. There was nothing else scheduled for today, most of his medical had come back fine and the rest would go through lab work which didn't thrill him considering what said labs had done. The mere mention had caused the crackle of flames to dance across his palm, but he had managed to quell it in time without it being noticed. Staying in control wasn't easy at the best of times, but he wouldn't be the one to tip their hand too early.

By the time he got around to threatening a particularly persistent smattering of freckles above his nose that would not cover properly no matter what he tried, Cloud had reappeared into the bedroom. Still somewhat nervous about moving around, not from lack of ability but apparently manners, but he did seem in good spirits. Tired, warm with the hint of pink to his skin and the smell of the vanilla clinging to him as he sat down 

“I won't be a minute if you want to change,” Genesis said, even if he had no desire at all to leave. If anything, he wanted to pull him close and touch him while he looked comfortable and happy. 

“I don't mind waiting,” Cloud said. “Were you talking to yourself?”

“Ah, no,” Genesis winked at him in the mirror of the vanity. “Even for what little sun we get, my skin is losing a battle to the summer. I was giving it a pep talk.”

“Sounded more like you were threatening it,” Cloud said.

“Fear is motivating,” Genesis replied. “Feeling back in your extremities yet?”

“Yeah,” Cloud smiled, his reflection looking down at his hands. Pride, Genesis realised with a sudden pang of feeling. He looked proud of himself. “I broke the sword.”

“I remember doing that as a Third,” Genesis said, swinging himself around to look at Cloud. There was a layer of something bitter over the memory now, but not so much that it felt ruined entirely and he suspected that would be the new normal. 

“Technically, Sephiroth broke it,” Cloud said. 

“That too,” Genesis grinned. “You probably didn't throw the end of it at his head for it.”

Cloud looked up, the smile still on his lips. “I wanted to. He doesn't let up easily.”

“Never,” Genesis replied. “It's one of his better qualities.”

“But you still threw the sword at him,” Cloud said.

“I was fourteen and the object of an eighteen month obsession walked straight in, told me I was doing everything wrong and then disarmed me to prove it,” Genesis said. “He's lucky that's all he had thrown at him, the bastard. We still do it for fun occasionally.”

“Throw swords at each other?” Cloud asked.

“Trick shots,” Genesis said. “Throw something and try to hit it square in the middle.”

“I won't feel bad if the urge comes over me then,” Cloud said.

Genesis reached out his hands, laying them palm up on Cloud's knees. A request, not a demand, but as per usual, it didn't take long for Cloud to figure out what he was doing and place his hands into his palms. His fingers were still a little swollen, trying to keep up with swordplay with Sephiroth could do that until he got used to it but they were warm.

“You look brighter today,” Genesis told him, letting the pads of his thumbs stroke at Cloud's fingers.

“I don't like sitting idle when I could be doing something,” Cloud said. “I want to fight.”

“As do we,” Genesis said. “If we do this, there will be no SOLDIER, not in the way I think you wanted it. Whether Shinra can sort out the mess enough to survive is in question, but things will change rapidly from here on out. While Zack will doubtless have some things to say about it, the most efficient route would be to all leave at once to different destinations to buy a little time to prepare for what is to come. Since I imagine they'll assume you will go with Zack, my suggestion instead is that you accompany Angeal to the town we grew up in. There's no reactor, it's in the middle nowhere and it's a small town so outsiders are easy to spot.”

“Then what?” Cloud asked.

“We'll meet up there and try to find the best foot forward,” Genesis said. “Making sure the people who could be used against us are aware of what's happening and if it's possible to get them to leave to go somewhere else at least for a bit, do that. The President will soon be leaving for Junon and it'll be cleaner to deal with him there before he returns.”

“You mean kill him,” Cloud said.

“I do,” Genesis confirmed. 

“What about the SOLDIERs that went missing?” Cloud asked.

“If we're able to work simultaneously, we would have proof from the labs in Junon to show the rest of SOLDIER and let them decide where their loyalties lie.” Genesis asked. “If we can get you up to speed enough, how do you feel about launching a rescue?” 

Cloud's smile returned, “I'm in.”

“We're going to have to find both you and Zack a weapon that will suit you more, and find something you won't break easily in the mean time.” Genesis hummed to himself, it had been some time since they'd used independent contracting for weapons but Cloud deserved a chance to find what blade would work for him. “You can use some time in Banora to practice your magic, I found my first natural materia in the caves there when I was a child and I still use it.”

“You're giving me homework too?” Cloud asked. “Any other demands or can I get dressed?”

“Not so much a demand as a statement of intent,” Genesis asked, letting his voice drop down to whisper. “I'd very much like to kiss you.” 

Cloud blinked at him a couple of times. “Right now?”

“Yes,” Genesis said. “You're sitting on my bed wearing nothing but a lovely robe and smiling at me. Is it such a surprise?”

“You could have just kissed me,” Cloud said, head ducking in that little bashful way he seemed to get around romance.

“I like the moment to build,” Genesis moved to kneel down in front of him, watching as Cloud tracked his movements and gently moving his legs apart so he could get close as he wanted to. Not once did he stop looking at his face, aware that it would be easy to cross a line given their position that Cloud may not be ready to cross. He placed one hand on the edge of the bed and slid his other hand on the back of Clouds neck, bringing his face down till they were almost nose to nose and there was a spark of satisfaction in his gut at watching Cloud seem undecided on whether to look in his eyes or down at his mouth. “Anticipation is a wonderful thing.”

Genesis brushed his lips against Cloud, the lightest touch. “Okay?” he asked, softly. He felt Cloud nod more so than saw it, but it was enough encouragement to pull him close and kiss him properly: unhurried, a little more soft and sweet than he usually preferred it but it felt right for this. There would be time for passion and intensity later, a moment when he would let his mouth drift slowly over him and push him back on the bed so he could make him feel so good but for now, this was enough. 

Actually, for this moment, it felt quite perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would also like to say a massive thank you to [AimeeLouWrites](https://aimeelouart.tumblr.com/post/635972389677694976/family-photo-holiday-gift-for-rainbowcarousels) who gave me a lovely Christmas gift of a family portrait of these idiots. Words will never be able to adequately describe Cloud's ragebombing, Genesis scowling or the amount of time Angeal spends facepalming, so thank you for the perfect visual translation. Also to [CreatingKingdoms](https://creatingkingdoms.tumblr.com/post/637003017984540673/sorainbowcarousels-about-that-chapter-ending) who made this art of Sephiroth from the end of the last chapter that perfectly captured his expression and the mood of the moment. For something that started out as a quick attempt at writing these guys, the idea it's been enjoyable enough that art now exists from it is wild to me and I'm extremely grateful to them and you for still reading this.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been cut in half because I realised I needed a POV switch, so it's a little smaller than usual. You'll probably understand why I needed the POV switch when you get to the end.

It didn't take long after leaving the Firsts floor for any significant amount of time for Zack to realise that he had come to _hate_ being in the Shinra building.

Truthfully, it had started even before he left the floor. It had started last week when sleeping on couches was starting to seem silly with three other apartments next door, so Sephiroth had taken him into his own apartment and shown him how to look and listen for surveillance devices. Zack figured there probably wouldn't be any, they'd been in Genesis's only two apartments away and surely that meant no one could get in there long enough. As Sephiroth put down the ninth device, encouraging him to listen for the low noises they gave out, Zack once again felt his skin crawl with the realisation that no matter how safe they felt together, if someone could get in long enough to do that, they weren't really safe at all.

So when Cissnei came up to him the moment he left the building, he couldn't help the sudden feeling of unease that came over him. Even if he would normally be thrilled to see his friend because he hadn't since his party, it just kept ringing in his head that nothing was as simple as a friend coming over to say hello anymore. 

“Hi Zack,” she said, coming to a stop beside him. “It's been a while.”

“Yeah,” Zack agreed, smiling in a way he hoped was more normal than it felt. “New First stuff, you know?”

“And your friend wasn't well,” Cissnei said.

Zack's stomach dropped, “You heard about that?”

Cissnei nodded grimly, “How is he?”

Zack felt his heart hammering in his chest. “Okay,” he said, trying to pull himself back from giving any actual information the way he'd been coached. “I'm just going to go get breakfast with Kunsel, get my mind off things.”

“I'm sure it's been hard,” Cissnei said, before surprising him with a hug. “Don't be a stranger, okay?”

Zack nodded. He felt a little bad for feeling suspicious about her, but what else could he do right now? Maybe given the fact she was a Turk and probably got this stuff a lot, she didn't mind it so much. 

Nothing he could do about it now, Kunsel was waiting in some greasy spoon place under the plate that he loved and then they were going to come here and probably make themselves throw up by running around in VR. Or he was going to show off his new enhancements and kick his Kunsels' ass, either would work. All this pent up nervous energy wasn't helping his anxieties over what to do with Cloud or even what to do with the company.

The train ride down made Zack feel more uncomfortable than he expected, remembering taking the same journey down and how slow he was to get back up. At least it wasn't too crowded now, the morning rush over. If he'd gone down earlier, at lunch, would Cloud have been that sick? Would they even have had the chance to take him elsewhere for long? Why had he decided to take a mission instead of checking up on his boyfriend?

Every time he thought of it, he wanted to kick himself all over again.

In the end, Kunsel met him at the train station in Sector Seven. Maybe he was anticipating some trouble, Zack hadn't missed some of the looks he'd gotten on the train going down this far but Zack could handle himself. 

“You're supposed to bring chocolates and flowers,” Zack told him, surprised to see he had de-helmeted for this. Maybe it was because he was trying to look a bit more inconspicuous. Who knows?

“Flowers in Midgar?” Kunsel said, as Zack came to a stop in front of him. “You're an expensive date.”

Zack grinned, “I think I'm dating enough people for now. Where's this place?”

“Down here,” Kunsel indicated through the stacked, wooden buildings to a street food place that didn't really seem like what Zack would call a greasy spoon. “I thought it might be better to walk and talk. Not too many people friendly with SOLDIER around here, ya know?”

Not really. Zack didn't end up below plate often, only on missions and stuff like that, so he wasn't that familiar with the under city.

“How was it being back in classes?” Kunsel asked.

“Good. Weird, but good.” Zack didn't know how to deal with the whole idea that some of the people he was training could already be being targeted in the way Cloud had been or worse, just would disappear one day. He wanted to shout it, but Genesis had been right (though he wasn't about to tell him as much, telling Genesis he was right about something seemed like a dangerous thing to do on the regular). “I ran into Cissnei on the way down. Apparently I looked pathetic enough she wanted to hug me.”

Kunsel stopped, “So she wouldn't usually? Did she know you were seeing me?”

“Yeah?” Zack had to skid around him to avoid smacking into him, “ I mean she's great and all but – hey!”

Kunsel had yanked him into one of the alleys and began patting him down like he was packing anything other than his own sword.

Zack batted at his hands, “I thought we decided against the groping?”

“I'm not groping, I'm checking.” Kunsel put his hand into one of his back pockets, way too familiar for it to be not groping and Zack's jaw dropped when he saw a semi-circle with a connective plug. “I asked her for a favour last week, figured she might go through you.”

“Is it a surveillance thing?” Was he going to have to deal with them on his literal person now? 

“No, it's a flash drive.” Kunsel showed him. “I have a burner tablet, which I'm guessing she already knows. I was trying to track down exactly where the order to send Cloud back up came from, but you have to get to a terminal in the Science Department to get it. I guess she found a reason to get in and poke about.”

“You trusted her with that?” Zack was starting to lose track of who he could trust with what.

“Nothing that would link back to Cloud,” Kunsel replied. “The Turks want to know anything that could mess with the company and Hollander going about leaving his terminals with his password on them would count. So in return I asked her to pull Hollanders most recent documents, just in case it was him that sent Cloud the letter or something he noted down knowing about. Personal documents are stored locally – like when we tried to get to Sephiroth's full information and all it gave was basic shot information for when he needs it reupped on long term missions but there were no notes about him from Hojo.”

“Why would Hollander have anything to do with Hojo?” Zack asked.

“I heard Hollander tried to quit years ago, but you don't get to quit if you know that much about the company. Science department are lifers one way or another.” Kunsel explained. “Hojo is head of the division and if Hollanders been looking for a way out for years, why does he have two First class that he has basically exclusive access to and knowledge of? Why would you give that to someone who hates their job? Something weird's going on there.” 

Zack grumbled, “At this point, 'something weird's going on there' is just Shinra in general.”

“Let's get some sandwiches and I'll pull up my tablet,” Kunsel said. “If she planted it on you, it might not be the kind of thing we should be reading in headquarters.”

If that was because Hollander _had_ got something to do with Cloud, yeah, Zack could see why he shouldn't be around him because he was going to end up skewering him. The idea of just cutting through the Science department and letting everything fallout was becoming more and more appealing. Whatever happened, at least Cloud (and Sephiroth for that matter) would be safe and everything else could be fixed. Right?

It wasn't as easy a walk round to get good because Zack was running the possibilities in his head, trying to avoid too much contact with the people running into him and trying to avoid all the rusted and piled garbage around the area. Finally, Kunsel climbed up and perched on some metal block at the entrance to an alley and Zack followed. Kunsel opened up his tablet, putting the drive in and beginning to poke about while Zack played with his sandwich more than he tried to eat it. 

“Kuns,” Zack said, after what felt an hour of watching Kunsel read. “You're killing me here.”

“Sorry,” Kunsel winced, taking a bite out of his sandwich. “I just want to be sure I'm reading this right before I say anything. Eat, anyone who might know you will know it's weird for food to stay in your hands that long.”

Zack took a bite because he was right, even if he didn't think you'd find too many people who'd know him down here and wouldn't they have bigger problems if people did recognise them? They picked an isolated spot for a reason. Jiggling his foot, he opened his PHS and played idly on it since Kunsel had gotten into one of those obsessive moods where he just went through everything.

“Kunsel,” Zack said, with a heavy sigh. They could hear the chatter of people a few corners away, but sitting here with nothing to do was just ramping up his anxiety. “Can you at least tell me what you're looking for? I feel like I'm gonna lose it.”

Kunsel looked at him, then down at the tablet then back at Zack. “It's about Angeal. Still want to know?”

Of all the things he'd expected to be asked, that wasn't one of them. “I think so,” Zack said. “Angeal, are you sure?”

Kunsel looked down again and Zack huffed.

“How am I supposed to learn to protect myself if everyone keeps trying to shield me from things?” Zack demanded.

“No, you're right,” Kunsel admitted. “I'm sorry. I'll explain it, okay?”

“Okay,” Zack nodded.

“When I went looking for references to anything Cloud related – troopers, intakes, SOLDIER, Hojo – the only reference I could find that might fit the bill was 'sample removed for further testing' which doesn't make sense.” Kunsel said. “Hollander doesn't have it in him to steal from Hojo, that guy is terrifying. So I started looking and I found a pre-written death certification for a bad reaction to mako.”

Zack could hardly breathe. “You think they were going to kill him?”

“No, I think they were going to use you as a witness,” Kunsel said. 

“A witness to what?” Zack asked. 

“Cloud dying,” Kunsel said and ice formed in Zack's stomach. “Or 'dying', so no one would come looking for him. I don't think he realised you guys were involved and would sit there all night. If you'd seen him like that, if medical had waited on you to leave then called you later to say he'd died, would you have believed them?”

_(You should prepare yourself for the worst.)_

He would have. He'd have believed it. His stomach lurched uncomfortably, but all he could do was nod.

“What I couldn't figure out was why would Hollander cover Hojo's ass? What could Hojo have that he wants?” Kunsel said. “It's not loyalty. So I was deep diving to try and find a reason and there's a letter draft that doesn't make sense.”

“About Angeal?” Zack forced the words through his tight throat. “Show me.”

Kunsel tapped the screen a few more times, which turned out to be him doing a find function for Angeal's name because it was in a yellow highlight. Zack's eyes glanced back to the beginning of the paragraph to read.

> _I don't understand your reluctance. You had a moment of weakness when the results weren't what we hoped for but G-type is replicable where S-type is not. Hojo's left a slew of bodies behind trying to replicate the process with only monsters left alive to wreak havoc and the President is growing tired of waiting for results that won't come. It's the right time to come back and throw it in Hojo's face that all he has is a fluke. The boys' initial results were inconclusive, but you allowed Angeal to come here and prove that our son is everything we promised he would be. Are you done playing an idiot housewife yet?_

Zack blinked. Then blinked again and re-read it. 

“That makes it sound....” Zack shook his head. That sounded almost like by son, he meant Angeal. “Angeal's dad died when he was on his first deployment, he told me!”

“Like I said,” Kunsel said uncomfortably. “It doesn't make sense, except the parts that do.”

“Hollander must have gone off the deep end!” Zack cried. “What part of that makes sense?”

“Shhhhh!” Kunsel said, sharply. “The part about trying to replicate S-types. Didn't Sephiroth say he tried to recreate him? If that's what he's been trying to do with the missing SOLDIER and it's turning them into monsters, then they're not actually disappearing.”

“What do you mean?” Zack asked.

“The weird monster clean ups we get sent on?” Kunsel said. “I think they're the missing SOLDIERS.”

Zack felt his mouth open in shock, because shit, that kind of made sense in a horrific way. All these weird monsters that aren't classified that show up in Midgar. They were called to kill them, paid for it even and if they they were SOLDIERs just like them, he wasn't sure if he could stand it. What if he'd hurt someone he knew? 

But Cloud...

“Cloud didn't turn into a monster,” Zack said.

“No, he didn't.” Kunsel agreed. “Which means I don't think Hojo's going to just let him go. Not if he's been trying to get someone to survive for two and a half decades and Cloud's the first.”

Fuck, _Fuck_ , **Fuck** , FUCK! 

“We got to get him out of here!” Zack said. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of it all and think of a safe place for Cloud to go. The planet had never felt so small. “We have to stop this now. Whatever the consequences, we have to stop them! We're killing each other!”

“Zack!” Kunsel pulled him into a hug, which helped more than he expected if only because he felt as if he might float away at any moment from how light-headed all this made him.

Zack laughed hollowly, “If you just planted something on me for Cissnei, I'm going to kick your ass.”

“I'll figure out another way to pay her back,” Kunsel replied, stepping back. “I'm worried about you.”

“I'm fine,” Zack said. “No, I'm not fine but – I'll be fine if I can just figure out what to do now.”

“I'm information guy,” Kunsel said. “Plans are your department.”

“Right!” Zack said, trying to centre himself. He could do this. He wasn't alone and he could _do_ this. “I think I need to go back and talk to the others.”

“I'll go pick up some burners,” Kunsel said, before going on hesitantly. “You'll need them. What are you going to tell them?”

“Everything I know,” Zack admitted, even if he couldn't make sense of it himself. Hollander had to be delusional. “I promised I would.” 

“Take a photo of the screen,” Kunsel said. “You'll never remember all that. Just remember to delete it when you're done.”

Done. How was he going to be done with any if this any time soon? Every time he felt like he got onto his feet, something happened to pull him off balance. Zack didn't even want to think about what else could be about to happen. All he could hope for was that he had the strength to deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don't get another chapter up before the holiday, Happy Holidays to those who celebrate them and happy soon to be heavily discounted chocolate day to everyone else!


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another double sized one for you as it might be a slightly longer wait on the next chapter as I have mock exams next week. I hope you had a wonderful holiday and I present you a whumptastic new year. Enjoy!

There were certain changes to Sephiroth in the last week that Angeal couldn't help himself but notice. 

It had happened a lot when they were younger simply because he either had limited exposure to the outside world and had not experienced something or had little concept of preference since his life was mostly based on practical choices. If you could ignore the awful implications behind it and take it at face value with him, it was often an enjoyable experience to watch him form opinions even if they were negative. For example, he liked most fruits but he didn't like too much lemon because it made his cheeks feel tight and Angeal had taken note he didn't like tartness much and adjusted recipes accordingly. He could and would eat an entire bag of Genesis's chocolate covered coffee beans in one sitting if Genesis didn't hide them. This had turned into an ongoing game of hide and seek between them and every now and then, he'd come across them and steal a few out as well. Gods help them all if Zack found them. 

Still, most of the big changes had fizzled out after a year or so of being in a romantic relationship. It stood to reason beginning a new chapter in their relationship would bring about other shifts but it had still surprised him. Perhaps there was an element of taking on characteristics from the people he was close to since he had never been the type of person to accept casual affection but he had seen him become gradually more so with both Zack and Cloud. The latter he had walked in on being held close like a spikey teddy bear while they had a nap together last week and Zack had fallen asleep on his shoulder a few nights ago, drool and all but all he had done was resituate him to lay down on his thigh without waking him and gone back to his PHS. 

Apparently all he had really needed in terms of adjustment was being in close quarters constantly for a couple of weeks. This again stood to reason, as it had been serving together that had cemented their early relationship and that had been very close quarters.

So when he heard Sephiroth give a huff of laughter when Cloud reappeared after going to get changed, it didn't register as strange immediately because Sephiroth had been more open around him. When Cloud asked what was so funny, Angeal gave into his curiosity and turned to look at him and chuckled as well. 

“You have a little,” Angeal touched his finger to his lips, where either Genesis had drunkenly attempted to put some kind of lipstick on him or there'd been some kissing and Gen had decided to play mark the territory. Poor Cloud if he was about to get stuck in his usual position between two people who liked to do that. Or perhaps congratulations Cloud would be more accurate, since he'd played the role for several years and it could be a fun experience as long as he didn't have to deliver a lecture to a class of Thirds with a visible bite mark.

Cloud wiped the back of his hand, smearing some of it on his cheek and chin and looking at the back of his hand. The tops of cheeks flushed a little, but he didn't duck away so Angeal called it progress. Being around them for the last two weeks or so had settled some of his nerves too and even if it had been a little embarrassing to realise exactly what he could now hear, it had broken the ice more. 

“Did I get it?” he asked.

“No, come here.” Angeal pulled off a kitchen towel, running it under water before leaning over to a still hesitant Cloud. Even if he had gotten more comfortable, he still prefered to do things himself instead of being cared for but that was just a work in progress. Some people struggled with being cared for and between everyone else here, Cloud was no different. “Genesis hazard, along with fire damage and inappropriately timed nudes.”

Cloud snickered, “Nudes, really?”

“I do not send nudes!” Genesis hollered indignantly as came out of the bedroom wearing the sweatshirt Angeal had been looking for all week and doubted he was ever getting back at his point. “You make it sound vulgar when you put it like that. I put my face on, set up the camera, pose artfully and share the results!”

“In this case, half your face ended up on Cloud,” Angeal told him.

Genesis looked Cloud over before plonking himself down on the couch. “That wouldn't be the worst thing,” he said, distractedly. “Not the velvet, it's not for beginners or it smudges everywhere but a splash of colour would suit you.”

“You were the one who smudged it!” Cloud insisted.

“Even I have my moments of weakness,” Genesis said dismissively. “I think a deeper red would be better, lovely contrast and very bold.”

“Run now,” Sephiroth said. “Or you will end up playing a canvass.”

“I don't wear make up,” Cloud said, looking between them.

“From lack of desire to do so or because you've never tried?” Genesis asked.

“Never tried,” Cloud admitted. “I usually get enough trouble without trying to look...'pretty'.”

“You attract trouble regardless,” Sephiroth told him.

“Must be nice for you to have the company,” Cloud replied. It was a sharp contrast to the nervousness that plagued their interactions and it was easier to see the spark Genesis talked about now more than ever. 

“I think I liked you better before you could talk back,” Sephiroth replied.

“No, you don't.” Cloud told him.

“No,” Sephiroth admitted. “I don't.”

“There's nothing wrong with looking pretty,” Genesis added. “Not that you have to try particularly hard.”

“As if you do,” Cloud pointed out.

Sephiroth shook his head, “He's fishing for compliments.”

“Don't make me come over there,” Genesis retorted sourly. 

Angeal had to duck away back to the fridge because he was stifling a laugh and Genesis was vindictive when he felt he was being fun of. No need for them to get into scuffle over his ego.

“Because the eight feet of difference is what's stopping you?” Sephiroth asked.

“You have no room to talk,” Genesis said pointedly. “You didn't have a problem with me doing it! You kept up the eyeliner.”

“I filled out several forms to make it part of my public appearance,” Sephiroth replied. “It seemed a waste otherwise.”

“Official appearances include whether or not you wear any make up?” Cloud asked.

“Yes,” Sephiroth said. 

“I thought everyone did for some of those posters.” The moment Cloud realised he admitted to knowledge of those posters, his entire expression changed and yes, he looked a lot more flushed. Angeal was going to have to out Genesis's collection of them at some point, it would make him feel better. “I just meant – everyone has bad hair days or skin issues or things they wouldn't want on camera.”

“I don't,” Sephiroth replied. 

“Ever?” Cloud asked.

“No,” Sephiroth replied.

“Bastard, isn't he?” Genesis laughed.

“I'm not permitted to wear my hair up in public,” Sephiroth replied. 

“It's because it makes you look comfortable and cozy,” Angeal told him. A good look for him as far as Angeal was concerned, there was something wonderful about being part of the few people who got to see him stretched out and relaxed. “Not foreboding.”

“Angeal has already cornered that particular demographic,” Genesis replied. “It's all about the power fantasy with you.”

“I don't think I have the comfortable demographic covered,” Angeal replied. “I wear my uniform. It's not particularly comfortable.”

“Yes,” Genesis indicated to him. “But you're also broad and gentle and apparently many people would like to do unspeakably filthy things with you at Farmers markets.” 

“You've been on the forums again,” Sephiroth replied.

Genesis shrugged, “If we are their entertainment, they can cope with being mine occasionally.”

Angeal wasn't sure what to do with that tidbit of knowledge. “Farmers markets?”

“I know, there's more chance of catching you at the Shop and Save than the Midgar markets,” Genesis replied. “But who am I to judge other peoples fantasies?”

“Or use outsourcing for your own,” Sephiroth replied.

“I don't need the fantasies,” Genesis replied. “If I want to do unspeakably filthy things, I'll simply ask.”

“How is it unspeakably filthy?” Sephiroth asked.

“People taking the eggplant emoji far too literally,” Genesis replied. “Proof they don't know him at all, encouraging food waste like that.”

Angeal snorted despite himself, never a good idea because it would definitely encourage Genesis to be equally ridiculous in future. That said, Genesis was almost always ridiculous whether he had an audience or not so perhaps it was time to find a new tactic.

Angeal's mulling over was interrupted by Zack blustering in, skidding to a bare stop in front of the couch and having much more luck than Cloud did when he tried it a few days ago. He was about to commend him on not going flying when he caught sight of his expression and shut his mouth.

“What is it?” Cloud asked, as Zack opened his mouth once the shut it, squeezing his lips together. That was a bad sign if ever there was one. “What happened?”

“I don't know where to start,” Zack looked at him with an odd expression, then Cloud and then made a noise of sheer frustration.

“Status report,” Sephiroth said simply. 

Zack looked and him and nodded violently, “I'm fine, physically, I'm completely fine. I'm just freaking out and that's probably a pretty normal response.”

“I suppose something about you had to be normal,” Genesis said, but he did also reach out and pull Zack by his elbow to come and sit on the couch with him. “Five things you can see, puppy. You know how to do this.”

“Right, yeah, okay....” Zack glanced at the room. “Television, mugs, shoes, Angeal's hoodie and um....Cloud's hair.”

“Why my hair?” Cloud asked.

“It's hard to ignore,” Zack replied.

“Rich coming from you,” Cloud said. “You okay?”

Zack nodded, “I think so. I just went out with Kunsel – it's okay, he's fine, he just wanted to stay below plate to keep digging.”

“Keep digging at what?” Angeal didn't like to think.

“Okay, I guess that's a good a place to start as any.” Zack ran his hand over his neck self-consciously. “Remember some of the files we just couldn't get to?”

“Your friend hypothesized that they were locked from Hollander,” Sephiroth said.

“Some probably were,” Zack said. “But he wanted to get a look at the localised files but you need to get onto a lab terminal to get to those and he managed to get some of it.”

“Your friend is equally parts impressive and horrifying,” Genesis told him.

“So we were eating and going through stuff and Kunsel found a letter draft from Hollander to...someone else,” Zack shifted uncomfortably. “And it might explain what Hojo was trying to do to Cloud.”

That got everyone's attention quickly, perhaps Cloud's most of all. “How bad is it?”

“Really bad,” Zack said, grimly. “What you said before about Hojo trying to make more people like you? That's what's happening to the other SOLDIERs, they're being used as lab rats for it.”

Sephiroth shut his eyes, taking a low breath. “And it is killing them.”

Zack shook his head slowly, “I don't know if it's all of them but those unclassified monsters we keep finding? That's what's happening to them. The labs aren't killing them – we are!” 

No one could think of anything to say to that. There had been a larger increase of unclassified creatures and monsters, which they had come to associate with the labs but they assumed it was some kind of hybridised breeding program or they were genetically modified creatures. Not once did they think to consider the new specimens and the missing SOLDIERs could be related. 

Gods, why would they? 

Who would even consider being a part of something like that?

“Is that what's going to happen to me?” Cloud's voice sounded impossibly young. “Am I going to turn into one of those things?”

Angeal telegraphed his movement to place his hand on Clouds back, moving it absentmindedly in the hopes it helped. They needed to get him to a doctor. A real one. 

“I think you would have if it was going to happen,” Sephiroth replied. 

“Then what does that mean?” Cloud asked.

“It means you survived,” Angeal said firmly. "You're alright."

“It means you're viable,” Sephiroth corrected. “There has never been another viable specimen before.”

“Goddess,” Genesis said. “If that's true, it'll be a fight to get him even out of the building, won't it?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied, bluntly. “We must leave quickly, before his lack of mutations are brought to attention.”

“And Hollander knows about all this?” It's not that Angeal thought Hollander was particularly moral, but he hadn't seemed quite on the same level of mass human experimentation or mindless torture.

“He lied!” Genesis spat out, the first warning signs of his mood turning from horror to anger in the way he snarled without flourish. “He knew exactly what was happening and he lied right to our faces about it, the absolute asshole.”

“Perhaps his surprise was genuine in that he was surprised by Cloud's lack of mutation,” Sephiroth suggested.

“This is not making me feel better,” Cloud said. 

It wasn't helping him either. They were fast running out of people left to trust, even minutely and he hated making choices with thin margins for error.

“Sorry,” Zack said, looking down at his PHS and pressing his lips together. “There's....there's something else. I don't understand what it means, because the way it sounds....but it could be nothing.”

“You're waffling, puppy.” Genesis told him. “What does it sound like?”

Instead, Zack handed Genesis his PHS and Angeal suspected that even in the midst of all of this, Genesis wouldn't be able to resist doing a dramatic reading but he didn't. Instead, Genesis looked over the PHS, to Zack, then back to the PHS.

“That's not –“ Genesis stopped himself, swallowing furiously. Angeal had expected an explosion of temper but this looked more like – actually, it didn't look like any expression he could recall ever seeing on his best friend. “It cannot possibly be what it sounds like!”

“Okay, good,” Zack nodded rapidly. “Then what is it?”

“I don't know, but it's not–“ Genesis all but growled at him. Perhaps he was still angry, but it was a different kind of anger and it was building up. “For a start, he has no siblings so this wouldn't even make sense!”

“Who doesn't?” Cloud asked.

Genesis flew out of the room with enough speed that they could feel the draught of air, running into the bedroom. 

“What in the hell is on your PHS?” Angeal demanded.

Genesis reappeared with Sephiroth's laptop, thrusting it to Sephiroth unsteadily. It took him a minute to realise it was because his hands were trembling. That kind of anger he had seen too much in him lately, first around Sephiroth, then Cloud and now this. 

“You saved the passcodes,” Genesis said, tightly. “Sign in.”

Sephiroth looked at him for a long moment, before shifting to sit on the couch to the side of the one Genesis had just vacated and doing exactly that. “What am I looking for?”

“Angeal's record,” Genesis said. 

His record? 

“Why?”

“Humour me,” Genesis ground out. 

Angeal simply nodded to Sephiroth, who began going through the same steps as Kunsel had a week or so earlier. Of course this was why he'd been watching him so carefully. Genesis sat down beside Sephiroth, Zack's now black screened PHS still in his hand. It only took a few minutes for Angeal's record to come up, the same one he had seen multiple times over the years. What could possibly be on his record to spook Genesis? 

“Not that one,” Genesis said. “The one like yours.”

“What difference does it make?” Angeal asked.

Was there something in the formula for him that he ought to be worrying about? That might explain why Genesis was suddenly visibly unnerved. Whatever else you could claim about Gen, he was extremely protective of the people he loved when he thought they were in danger.

Sephiroth was faster than Kunsel, even if this wasn't his area of expertise. “I'm surprised the Turks have not patched the breach,” he said, as he typed.

“Maybe they don't know it's there,” Cloud suggested. “The Turks don't know everything.”

“Possibly,” Sephiroth said, as screens opened and minimised with increasing speed. 

Genesis said nothing, but was practically sitting in his lap trying to look at it. At this point, Angeal wanted to look at Zack's PHS himself just to get an idea of what he was supposed to be looking for but Genesis had asked him to humour him. If there was something wrong in his balances then they would deal with it. They had weathered worse. 

Finally, another screen similar to the one that had come up for Sephiroth came up but it couldn't be his own.

“I think you took a wrong turn somewhere,” Angeal told him.

“I did not,” Sephiroth replied.

“You must have,” Angeal pointed to the picture, the only thing he could see with any great clarity from his vantage point. “That's a baby picture. There aren't any baby pictures of me, we didn't have a camera.”

Sephiroth didn't reply. Genesis didn't speak up. Zack simply wrung his hands nervously while Angeal exchanged a confused look with Cloud.

“That's enough,” Angeal said, firmly. This had gone on long enough, so he moved from the kitchen island to come behind the couch. Cloud would manage. If this was upsetting everyone else, he needed to know what was going on. “Show me what's on the PHS.”

Instead, Genesis turned to him and reached his hand out. Angeal took it and Genesis squeezed so hard his hand went white under the pressure. 

Angeal looked at his face and there was something in his expression that felt wrong. “You're starting to scare me, Gen.”

“Starting to?” Genesis exclaimed breathily. “I'm fully settled in it. Join me, won't you?”

Without letting go of Genesis's hand – as if he had a choice from how tightly he was gripping it – Angeal knelt behind the couch to get a look at the small printed writing. The file had his full name, date of birth, mother, father – 

“It's a mistype,” Angeal said, shaking his head. Perhaps it had been a picture taken at a hospital in Mideel, it certainly looked like a hospital setting and Shinra had contacted them for records when he joined. His mother had never mentioned him being sick as a baby, but maybe he had been and it had just never come up in case he worried over the medical bills. “Hollander should be under doctor, Shinra's not great at record keeping.”

“I'm not sure it is,” Genesis said. “Look at Gillian.”

What was different there? That was his mothers name, there was nothing – wait, why did they have her maiden name? Another records oversight? 

“It's a linked file,” Sephiroth replied.

Angeal's stomach dropped. If Shinra had a file on his mother, was she in danger? Was that why Genesis was panicking? “Can you check it?” 

Sephiroth clicked it through and –

Angeal's mind blanked. 

“'Geal?” Zack asked. 

“That's...” Angeal swallowed hard, because that was Mom but it wasn't anything like he'd seen her before. She looked young, maybe about the age he was now and she wasn't dressed in her usual clothes at all. They were the clothes usually worn by Shinra's doctors, professors and lab technicians. It looked like... 

“An employee ID,” Sephiroth finished for him, because that was exactly what it was. He had seen Hollanders pinned on the back of his chair where he always seemed to forget it. “A defunct one, but I have seen many on lab staff over the years.”

“Then it's true?” Zack asked, looking between them. “Your mom used to work here?”

No, of course it wasn't true! Surely he would know if his mother had worked here, she _hated_ the company, why would she work for people she hated.

Except they were here, weren't they?

“She looks so young,” Genesis said, sounding – fascinated, maybe.

“Show me the PHS,” Angeal said suddenly, letting go of Genesis's hand. This time, Genesis placed the PHS in his hands and he woke it up from idle to a screenshot. It was typed up and a little blotchy from pixilation, but readable.

> _I don't understand your reluctance. You had a moment of weakness when the results weren't what we hoped for but G-type is replicable where S-type is not. Hojo's left a slew of bodies behind trying to replicate the process with only monsters left alive to wreak havoc and the President is growing tired of waiting for results that won't come. It's the right time to come back and throw it in Hojo's face that all he has is a fluke. The boys' initial results were inconclusive, but you allowed Angeal to come here and prove that our son is everything we promised he would be. Are you done playing an idiot housewife yet?_

That was – 

Angeal's throat went so tight that breathing made his throat burn.

_Our son._

“There has to be a mistake,” Angeal said, his voice sounded wrong even to his own ears. “Mom can't have worked here, you said it yourself, people in the Science department aren't allowed to leave and Mom doesn't even leave the island! She barely leaves the house!”

“Unless she cannot,” Sephiroth replied, quietly. “When certain high level executives have their loyalties called into question, they have been placed on house arrest and families threatened.”

“Goddess,” Genesis exhaled shakily. “She's....she's fucking _Science Department_!”

“Shut up!” Angeal roared back at him. “You don't know that!”

“That is her employee record!” Genesis snapped back. “She was here! She could have said something at any time, before we got the forms, after, when we went back and she didn't! She's a _liar_!”

“She's my mother,” Angeal insisted. 

This had to be wrong. His mother was a good, strong woman who had done her best to raise him with nothing, his father had been an honourable man who had given up everything, his _life_ for his son to have the chance at fulfilling his dreams. They had loved and cared for him as best they could. To think this was even possible was a horrendous betrayal of them both.

“And we all know parents would never subject their child to inhumane science experiments,” Genesis looked at Sephiroth. Angeal couldn't see his expression, but his fist was balled and that should have been enough of a warning sign. Not that warning signs stopped Genesis on a tirade.

“Mom would never hurt me like this,” Angeal shook his head. “You don't understand.”

“I understand she fucked Hollander!” Genesis said. “At least her lying about _that_ makes sense, I'd be too humiliated to admit that too.”

“You're wrong!” Angeal snapped. “If your mother loved you half as much as mine does, you would know you're wrong.” 

Genesis reared back and he knew on some level, he'd crossed a line but he could feel the adrenalin pumping through him. It made him feel sick, hurt, as if he'd taken a blow but he couldn't tell where.

It had to be wrong.

“Liars have no honour,” Genesis spat back at him. “Mama might be a vacuous socialite, but at least she's not a _hypocrite_.”

“ _ENOUGH!_ ” Sephiroth's voice, rarely ever raised and never out of a combat situation, shut them both down. “Ripping each other apart will not change things.”

“Yeah, if you were going to rip anyone apart,” Zack said with a shudder. “I would have figured it would be Hollander.”

That must have been enough to put the idea in Genesis's head, because he stood up. 

“Sit down, Genesis.” Sephiroth glared at him, as Genesis did look fit to argue with him. “Regardless of whether any of this is true, you called us a family. Sit down and be a part of it or are _you_ a liar?”

Genesis hesitated for a moment, then sat down sideways on the couch to glare at Sephiroth for a long moment. Calling him out that way was playing with fire and if they came to blows, Angeal wasn't sure he had it in him to stop them.

Then just as quickly as it had bloomed, Genesis's shoulders slumped and he looked down at his lap. “I don't want it to be true either,” he said, quietly. 

Angeal didn't know what to say to that, because he didn't know what he was going to do if it was true. All over him felt numb, as if he weren't in his own body but still standing behind the kitchen island.

“What's a G-type?” 

Angeal turned to look at Cloud and realised that in the moment, he must have dropped Zack's PHS and Cloud had picked it up. “What?”

“It says G-type is replicable but S-type is not,” Cloud said, pointing to the screen. “I'm the S-type, right? The process that can't be replicated?”

“My typing,” Sephiroth replied from behind him. “Yes.”

“Then what's a G-type?” Cloud asks. “Hollander wrote it _was_ replicated and the implication is...it's something that was done to you?”

Angeal took a moment to think about it because his brain was slow as molasses and he couldn't get past the image of his mother like that. He had been so caught up with the idea of his mother being involved with Shinra and the sickening idea that Hollander – _Hollander_ – might have been his biological father that he hadn't thought about the implications of what that meant in terms of SOLDIER. He wasn't Sephiroth, not by a long shot, but certain things had come more quickly to him. Was it possible he was also experimented on when he was younger? And if so, why hadn't he stayed here? The implication was that his mother had left, had she just taken him with her and never come back? Why would Shinra allow that?

“Sephiroth?” Angeal asked, because he had grown up here in the laboratories. If someone knew of a different experiment type, it would be him.

“I'm not familiar with the classification,” Sephiroth replied. “However, if my own notes were labeled Project S then it stands to reason there is a Project G.”

“Why G?” Cloud asked.

“Maybe they went through the alphabet,” Zack suggested. 

Angeal turned to look at him, because the idea there were not only one set of children involved but twenty-six? His pulse was slamming, throbbing in his ears. What if the experiments were ongoing?

“Then what happened to the other letters?” Cloud asked.

Zack responded by putting two fingers at either side of his head, “More monsters?”

“That's not funny,” Cloud said. “If I grow horns, I'll stab you with them.”

“Can't be worse than your knee in my face,” Zack said. 

Genesis reached his hand back over the couch, this time pressing his fingers lightly to Angeal's jawline and neck and scraping down it lightly. Even if he still felt angry with him, Angeal knew what an apology felt like when it came from him and brought his hand to lay still on the back of Genesis's in a silent acceptance of the gesture. If all he could give right now was a silent reassurance, at least he was capable of doing something.

“Project G was spearheaded by Hollander and your mother,” Sephiroth said bluntly, as if it was just another statement of fact and not rockslide on his already crumbling faith that this was all just some giant mistake. “It looks like another subsection of the SOLDIER project, it has my mothers name on the bottom of it.”

“The search for perfection,” Genesis said quietly. 

Sephiroth went on, “The implantation of Jenova cells into a child at the beginning of the fetal stage to create enhancements.”

“Like you,” Cloud said. “You said they put them in you before you were born.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied.

“Yeah, but Angeal doesn't look –“ Zack bit his tongue, thank the gods. “You look kind of otherworldly, you know? Angeal looks like a regular guy.”

“Otherworldly is a nice way to put it,” Sephiroth replied. “Inhuman is what you mean.”

“I'm not saying it's not hot on you,” Zack said. "But it is pretty noticeable."

“What a relief,” Sephiroth replied. “Whether it was 'hot' or not was my primary concern.”

“Hey!” Zack said. “It would concern me.”

“It concerns you if they run out of the chili jam doughnuts in the coffee shop,” Cloud replied. 

“It's a fair observation,” Sephiroth replied. “I am visibly different. Angeal, you are not.”

That didn't mean he wasn't invisibly different, did it?

“All my observations are fair,” Zack said.

Despite himself, Angeal found himself chuckling at him. It helped a little, a grounding moment in the delirium. From the brief smile Zack gave him, he suspected that was the point. 

“There are still a number of holes in the story,” Sephiroth replied. “If you and I were born under similar circumstances, why were you not raised here? There were other children at certain points, there were drawings on the walls and the nursery has been in occasional use, but I imagine you would remember.”

“I was there and I'm not a child,” Cloud said. "So not always kids."

It said something awful when that was something to find relief in. As far as he knew, he had never been anywhere but Banora before he came to Shinra. 

“You are pretty small,” Zack said. “Maybe you didn't fit in the adult ones.”

Cloud took one of the pillows from the couch beside Genesis and lobbed it at him. Zack simply caught it, wrapping his arms around it for something to hold. Part of him wanted to go over and hold him, he was obviously still upset, but his knees didn't feel strong enough to hold his own weight.

“That can't be right,” Genesis said, reaching over to tap the screen with his other hand. “The initial treatment date is in September of '78. Angeal was born in July of '79. He wouldn't even have been conceived yet.”

Angeal felt a brief spark of hope that this was in fact just a mistake. “He's right. I was also a week early, Mom said even as a baby I was trying too hard to be punctual.”

“The screenshot also says boys,” Cloud said. “Are you sure you don't have a brother?”

It was hard to say he felt sure of anything at the moment. “There wouldn't be enough time between my mother having one baby and getting pregnant again with me.”

“Sephiroth?” As soon as Genesis said his name, Angeal realised he was no longer clattering on the keys. 

“Hollanders boys,” Sephiroth said, almost to himself. Had he seen something they hadn't?

“You think I might have...” What, a sibling? Half-sibling? 

“No,” Sephiroth turned to face him. “But I have heard Hojo refer to you both that way. I assumed it was due to the medical oversight.”

“They're definitely not my parents,” Genesis said snippily. “If they were, our relationship would suddenly have a much bigger problem.” 

“You were both singled out almost immediately,” Sephiroth replied. “I don't recall any other cadet being escalated that quickly.”

“No one from my groups,” Zack said. “Hollander picked you both out immediately?”

“He didn't pick us out,” Genesis huffed. “Our scores were merely good enough to catch the attention and we got put through our paces earlier than others.”

That hadn't been all though, had it? Most of the cadets they came in with had been decent sorts, they still knew a handful of Seconds and Thirds that had come in with them and they hadn't been singled out in the same way. Their medicals were only a few hours, Angeal had spent weeks between medical testing, training rooms and evaluations where they hadn't experienced anything like that until they were officially brought into the program. At the time, Angeal had assumed his scores were just that good – Genesis and he had practiced together for a year before the program so it made sense that they may have just been further along than most. He hadn't thought twice about it.

But how could he have known that just from those initial tests? It took longer to gauge what a SOLDIER applicant could be capable of, he knew that.

“We were assigned,” Angeal said. “That was what he said when we were pulled out of army training.”

“Of course we were, you saw our scores,” Genesis replied. 

“The others hadn't sat the tests yet,” Angeal said. “I remember a few asking if they could, since we were allowed to and they were told no.”

“That doesn't mean anything,” Genesis said. “You know I've always had a talent for magic, even when we were kids and you've always been strong. That doesn't mean we're enhanced.”

“It doesn't mean you aren't,” Sephiroth replied. “You surprised me when sparred for the first time.”

“Because I threw a broken sword at your head,” Genesis scoffed. “Nothing enhanced about that.”

“Your scoring more closely resembles mine than any other SOLDIER.” Sephiroth replied. 

Genesis looked at him for a long moment, then shook his head. “I was born in April, there's barely three months between us.”

“It's ten weeks,” Angeal said, almost automatically.

“Close enough,” Genesis replied. “We're not related. I know our lives have become something of a soap opera but we're not that bad. I don't fit the bill.”

“You would for the initial dose,” Sephiroth said. “Your mother would have been at approximately 9 weeks gestation, which is the beginning of the fetal stage.”

“I imagine lots of people were at the fetal stage on the planet at the same time as me,” Genesis insisted. “They may not be winning parent of the year any time soon, but they're not scientists. If they had been, they'd have figured out a way to make a lot more gil out of it.”

Something shook loose in Angeal's mind, a scrap of a memory. “They work with Shinra.”

“With manufacturing and patents,” Genesis said. “I doubt they've ever even spoken to anyone higher than the administrative staff.”

All of it was rolling around in his mind like a tornado of information forming around him, too late to notice that he was already in the eye of it until the winds were stinging at his eyes.

“Fine, pull my file,” Genesis made a waving his hand at the screen. “You'll see, my parents never do anything that doesn't line their pockets. Perhaps we ought to look at Zack's next and we'll find our he's part hedgehog, it would explain the hair.”

Except when Sephiroth did, it brought up more questions than it answered because both of Genesis's parents were listed as deceased.

“That's ridiculous,” Genesis murmured. “I spoke to my mother not three months ago. They're fine.”

If it had been a recent date, then maybe there would be something to that idea but it wasn't. Both parents were listed as being dead over twenty years before. What was more, they weren't listed by name but by 'Sample' and an initial, the wrong initial much as Sephiroth's mother had been. It was a disquieting similarity and too much so to be a coincidence.

It felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. None of it made any comforting sort of sense sense and what did make sense made the world feel fuzzy and far away, as it weren't real. As if they didn't exist at all. Maybe they didn't. Maybe their entire lives had been nothing but a simulation of normalcy. If Sephiroth had been a caged experiment, what were they? The free range versions? Had his father even known? His real father, the one who raised him, not some cruel joke of genetics. Did everyone know? 

Angeal's thoughts were brought back to the present by the sounds of smashing glass. It took him a moment to register that Genesis had kicked the coffee table, causing the glass to fracture and fall onto the floor. His head was bowed, leaning on the bottom of his palms and his breathing had become irregular, staggering as if he might hyperventilate.

Angeal wanted to reach out to him, to reassure him, to help him but right now, he couldn't. Right now, he couldn't even help himself.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience while life threw a few curveballs my way for this one. I think this may be the longest chapter to date, but there is a lot that needed to be covered before the next chapter. Heed the warnings for this one, no one is having a good time but they're trying their best.

It was too quiet. 

Being in a room with Genesis and there being no chatter was enough to raise suspicion levels, being in one with both he and Zack made such a thing seem impossible. Yet, here they were. 

Sephiroth understood the reasoning behind it. Being overcome by a strong emotional reaction could be debilitating and judging by the mess of glass and wood on the floor, Genesis was having a strong emotional reaction in the main emotion he gravitated towards during any crisis: anger. Zack's holding a pillow close under his chin as if it was a shield indicated a strong emotional reaction of his own and based on what he had expressed, fear was the culprit. Angeal had gone quiet and still, too quiet and unfocused, which he remembered from the last time something of emotional magnitude hit him mean he was very sad. Then Cloud, who he didn't know as well as to pinpoint the specific emotion, but he had come to understand that stretches of quiet from him meant he was dwelling on something. Not inherently a strong emotion, but distracting all the same. 

And then there was his own responses. Given Hollander's involvement as their medical overseer, the notes had been more detailed than his own but some of the things he clicked on were still restricted access. Ultimately, it didn't matter because there was more than enough evidence there that they were perhaps more like him than they had ever realised. That gave him several feelings at once, muddled in together and hard to pinpoint. There were some strange inconsistencies in that Genesis had a schedule of dosages like his own but Angeal did not. Angeal had no less ability than Genesis, which would indicate that they were what – variations? Were there other variations out there somewhere? Had Cloud also become some sort of variation? 

The idea that he wasn't alone in it was – complicated? On one hand, exciting, like adrenalin to the heart. Then something else crashed over him, jealousy that he had spent so long in isolation whereas they had each other to learn and grow with. It was unfair to be upset over it. Trying to imagine them in that environment was impossible – there were no plant life in the labs, not unless it was experimental and so much of Angeal was wrapped up in his concept of honour inherited from his upbringing with a man he thought was his father that imagining him without those things made Sephiroth distinctly uncomfortable. It was like trying to imagine Genesis without _Loveless_ , without his creative drive and without his intensely individual sense of self. It couldn't be done. It would have driven the colour of out of them,

For an indulgent moment, he tried to imagine himself not as the monochrome weapon he'd spent a lifetime being sharpened into, what interests he might have, if he would have chosen to have a different life than one of SOLDIER or if things would have ended up the same. It was a frivolous thought, one that there was no point in dwelling on. He was what he was, and that was someone with enough mako in his veins that when subjected to similar treatment, lab specimens died or turned into mako fueled abominations. 

What did that say about him, about what he was? Could he even be considered human at all, if none were human afterwards?

No, not none. 

_Cloud._

Cloud was still here and looking perhaps equally worried about what could now be happening to him. It was selfish, yes, but at least he wasn't going through this alone.

Even without an understanding of the onslaught of contradicting emotions, Sephiroth could guess at what some of meant by cataloguing the physical sensations: clenched hands, uptick to heart rate and a mild pounding behind his eyes. Something emotional was happening to him, but he didn't have the luxury of time to discuss it. None of them did. While he was not nearly so adept to dealing with emotional upheaval in others as Angeal, he knew them well enough to know what could draw them out of their own minds long enough to get Cloud away from the most prominent danger.

“Cloud,” Sephiroth broke the silence, turning to look at him. “Do you still have belongings in your locker?”

Cloud looked over at him. “Yeah, a few. Why?”

“It's time to retrieve them,” Sephiroth said, before giving Genesis a small push to his shoulder. “Go.”

The look of venomous anger he received in response made him even more sure of his decision. Genesis was the easiest to deal with in practice when overcome with difficult emotions because Sephiroth had practice with it. Genesis was frequently emotional, to the point when he had briefly met his parents (perhaps given the filing, 'parents' would be more accurate) he had been surprised by how sedate they seemed in comparison. When bouts of emotional upheaval would happen at the front, the easiest thing had always been find somewhere to redirect Genesis's energy and let him run some of it out at an appropriate source until he felt sated enough to be rational. 

“It's okay,” Cloud said. Possible he too had seen that look. Sephiroth remained unfazed by it, he didn't truly believe Genesis release all of this on him but if he did, he was one of the few people able to make him sit down without the need for heavy materia or medical intervention. “I don't need them.”

“No,” Sephiroth insisted. “You've lost more than enough here without losing your belongings too.”

“I could go,” Cloud offered.

“No, you can't,” said Zack, a surprising but appreciated ally. “You have a huge target on your back. I can go.”

“I'm going to require your help elsewhere,” Sephiroth interrupted. Angeal was in no state to pack for himself and while he could send Genesis, it was likely many of Angeal's potted plants would have to endure the same fate as the coffee table if he did. “You also will worry more about injuring staff members should they attempt to stop you. It will not arouse suspicion if Genesis does so.”

Zack would also feel more guilt if it resulted in a body count, whereas Genesis always calmed down more after wracking up one. Perhaps it would be better if they did try to stop him, as it would make it easier to talk to him afterwards when the adrenalin had run it's natural course. Either way, there needed to be enough distance between them and this building to think straight and that meant leaving quickly. They could come back to finish the job if needed, but it's unlikely any belongings would still be here when they did. 

“I won't be subtle about it,” Genesis said, his voice low. The anger was still there, but he was not quite so irrational that he couldn't see the out he was being given. He could just be happy to have a potential target without long term consequences.

“I didn't ask you to be,” Sephiroth replied simply.

It looked as if he might argue, but the potential opportunity to lash out must have helped already because he stood up. It was notable that he half stumbled as he did so and that he did not change into his uniform when he left. A few weeks ago, that would have caught attention but he had done so multiple times lately almost in preparation for this moment. Perhaps he knew eventually it would come to this. Genesis had made it clear he was feeling protective of Cloud, so maybe he had more foresight for this than anyone else.

“What do you need from me?” Zack asked.

“To pack both whatever you deem you want and can conceivably carry and help Angeal do the same,” Sephiroth told him. “I will pack my own.”

“Right!” Zack jumped up, maybe also glad to be given something to do. “Angeal?”

There was a longer delay than any of them liked. Angeal tended to collapse inwards when things became too difficult, so Sephiroth would need to make sure someone else covered him until he was more present. It would be better to give Genesis the job, the fire and fury would make him an effective shield and given Zack's obvious sense of guilt over leaving Cloud in medical, giving them a chance to work together may assuage some of that. 

“What?” Angeal blinked.

“Come with me?” Zack even put his hand out to prompt. “I think I know where your outdoor gear is but I'm not sure.”

“My outdoor gear?” Angeal asked. 

“We're leaving, right?” Zack looked to Sephiroth, who nodded. “So we need that.”

“We're leaving now?” Cloud asked.

“Food, rest and then we'll go,” Sephiroth told him. “Night will be better. Come with me.”

The first thing Cloud did when the entered Sephiroth's apartment was grimace and put his finger in his ear, moving it about. That was a surprising amount of sensitivity to the surveillance hum, but then again, it was possible Zack lived a very loud existence and simply wasn't attuned to the background noise in the same way. There were a few more than usual, but he made a habit of clearing them out and he didn't want to raise any suspicions so he put Cloud to work helping dismantle them. It would be good practice for him.

There weren't many things he required for his own packing. His life had always been very minimalist and not materialistic despite Genesis's repeated attempts to force his hand into owning things. There were a few things he would take because they would be useful for care and maintence, especially if climate varied but in terms of trinkets and mementos, he kept very little. There were a handful of books on his shelf, but he had be given them as gifts and in the case of _Loveless_ , he was sure Genesis kept it there just so he could read it when he was there. A 'bobble-head' version of himself that Zack had brought back from a mission a few months ago and said it made him smile. An apron from Angeal who told him watching him cook with a bare chest was giving him anxiety. None of it was necessary but he felt a surprising sadness at the idea of leaving them.

The small tin in his bedside drawer he had almost forgotten about because it had been years since he had gone looking for it, tucked away and hidden. A childhood habit. There were only a few things in it and he supposed they would have looked random to anyone else but at the time, all things had felt fleeting. As if they could easily be taken away and he wanted things to remember them. 

A small stone from Wutai with a plant imprint on it that Angeal had found and shared excitedly with him during their first tour together when he had been sure there would come a time Angeal would not want to be around him anymore. A ticket for _Loveless_ , the first time Genesis had asked him if he would go with him alone which was a mess because he'd fiddled with it most of the night after it was pointed out they were on a 'date'. A clipping from a paper after his promotion to First Class which was less because of the promotion and more because it was the first clear, unposed picture he had of himself. The remains of the first keycard he had for this apartment which he had eventually ruined from his fascination with being able to lock and unlock his own doors and thus had to have it replaced. Perhaps the oldest, most worn thing in there was still the most important: the torn, brittle paper he was almost afraid to touch it in case it fell apart. 

“I wouldn't have guessed you were the sentimental type.”

Sephiroth shut the box with force on instinct, fighting the flash of something in him that screamed it was private.

“Sorry,” Cloud said, sitting down with him on the bed. He really was impressively stealthy. “It just reminded me of something my Mom does.”

“Your mother?” 

“She has an old box she keeps stuff in from when she was younger,” Cloud said. “Like a hairpin from her Mom and some shells she got from the beach when she went there as a kid. Other stuff she said I'd understand when I was older which I'm guessing was about my Dad.”

“Did he die?” Sephiroth asked. Perhaps too personal, but it given the revelations of the day, perhaps they ought to be more personal.

“I don't know,” Cloud said. “I used to ask but I gave her enough trouble as a kid. I got into a lot of fights.”

“I'm surprised,” Sephiroth replied. “You're so easy going now.”

Cloud smiled and ducked his head, hair bobbing so slightly. “Yeah,” he said. “Mister popular, that's me.”

It was true; everyone would want him now, just not for the reasons anyone would want. Sephiroth chose not to vocalise the thought. There had been so few happy moments lately that he didn't want to break his smile more than necessary.

“You were training for future sparring,” Sephiroth suggested and got rewarded for his careful omission with a laugh.

“Yeah,” Cloud said. “I bet you did a lot of that.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth agreed. “I've always been good at that.”

Cloud made a skeptical 'pffft' noise. “What weren't you good at?”

There wasn't much. Failures were not tolerated and costly, he had avoided them at all costs but it had happened occasionally. It seemed as though that line of thought would lead to discomfort too, as it had when he had tried to explain it before. He tried to think back further to something that had not resulted in punitive measures.

“I had delayed vocal development,” Sephiroth said, deciding on that. It had been considered an environmental issue by the person brought in to assess him and had resulted instead in a shift in his daily operations instead of any sort of punishment. 

“Like talking?” Cloud asked.

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied. “It can affect other areas of language recognition and communication at a young age so I had difficulties in those areas.”

“Do you know why?” Cloud asked.

“The assessment I had suggested it was lack of practice and exposure,” Sephiroth replied. It was likely, since Professor Gast had left, people did not particularly talk to him and like any skill, without use, it eroded over time. 

“So what, you had to talk a lot?” Cloud asked.

“Nor exactly,” Sephiroth replied. “Before the use of computers to document was widespread, Professor Hojo used vocal recordings to document work. It included conversational scripts I could learn and implement so I was permitted to shadow.”

“Conversational scripts?” Cloud asked. “Like he gave you something to say?”

“More that he could ask questions that would have answers that were not open ended gives his preference for quantitative data,” Sephiroth explained. It was something he hadn't thought about a long time, the giddy feeling of being able to do something that felt very adult since it was really the only adults he had ever seen before that worked there. The sudden freedom of being able to walk around even as little more than a shadow who wasn't permitted to touch anything but the watch and recorder. There had been parts of the labs he had seen before, of course, but even then the labs were huge and there were so many people working everywhere and talking to each other. It had felt like the world opening up. “The specific times that things happen, test results, blood pressure, heart rate, materia effects and how long, healing effects and how long they took after damage was inflicted, pain measurements, times of death. Everything has a number.”

Cloud's smile had fallen, though he couldn't be sure when it had. 

“I've made you uncomfortable,” Sephiroth said, as apologetically as he could.

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed. 

More than that, he had managed to make him upset. Perhaps he ought to have kept up those communication studies. 

“I apologise,” he said, because he couldn't think of what could have bothered him.

Cloud shook his head, “It just kind of hit me that less than a day down there scared the shit out of me and I'm almost nineteen. How old were you, if you were just learning language?” Then Cloud stopped, “No, wait. You do it by height, don't you?”

“I do,” Sephiroth replied, pleased he had remembered. “I was approximately three feet and six inches tall, so – “ He put his hand to the approximate height.

“So about five or six?” Cloud asked.

“Perhaps a little younger,” Sephiroth replied. “I am very tall.”

Cloud huffed at him, shaking his head. “I can't believe he took a little kid into that lab.”

“There have been children before,” Sephiroth replied, as Cloud may have missed that earlier. “Not in the same area as my own room, but there were drawings that I had not done, the assistants were chatty occasionally during my own procedures and I did look a few times but to no avail.”

“It wasn't –“ Cloud stopped, glancing towards the wall.

Sephiroth shook his head, “Given their respective ages, if I remember, so would they. Perhaps there were variants that did not survive the experimentation progress. I have had a few near misses over the years, especially before I learned how to stay still properly.”

“You make it sound – I don't know, like it's sanitised when you put it like that,” Cloud said. “It's not variants that don't survive, it's experimenting on little kids until they die, scared and alone and wanting to go home.”  
  
“Yes,” Sephiroth could only agree because he supposed it was true. “I don't think about it that way.” 

“I know,” Cloud gave a shaky laugh. “Because your idea of a fun childhood story was watching people get tortured to death for science and taking down their numbers like they'd never been a person at all.”

“I didn't mean to upset you,” Sephiroth replied, frustrated with himself that he clearly had.

“I know you didn't,” Cloud nodded, pressing his lips together in more grimace than smile. “That makes it worse.”

How could it possibly? “Why?”

“Because you're willing to do a lot to protect me,” Cloud said. “And it really sucks there wasn't anyone there to do it for you when you were a little kid. The whole town might have hated me, but I had my Mom. I was safe.”

“I'm fine,” Sephiroth said. Even his sleep schedule had largely returned to normal without resorting to potions. “I was fine.”

“Take it from someone who says that a lot,” Cloud said. “I know that's bullshit. And when you figure that out, you can talk about it if you want. I know we don't have a decade of history between us but the experience is fresh in my mind so I'll at least get some of it.”

That headache was returning. “I don't think we have the space for another intense emotional moment,” Sephiroth replied. “We have two in progress.”

“Yeah, okay,” Cloud cleared his throat. “Later. Think they'll be okay?”

“It's unclear,” Sephiroth admitted. While he had seen them take their fair share of knocks over the years, he understood it enough ( _who_ was _L?_ ) that this would be different. “Genesis spiraling is like holding a live grenade. Best to point him at what needs to be obliterated and when he's wrung himself out, he'll talk about it.”

“And you pointed him at my old bunkmates?” Cloud said. “I don't think they deserved that.”

Sephiroth shook his head, “No, he's still simmering. We will need a distraction to leave and he has described fantasies of setting the entire lab on fire in excruciating detail. It'll be more efficient to let him.”

“Spoken like the General,” Cloud said. 

Sephiroth wasn't sure if that was complimentary or not. “Angeal will be more difficult.”

“Yeah, he seemed kind of in and out,” Cloud said. “I get it, I spent a week like that but it's going to put him in danger if we're going to fight.”

“We're going to need to find you a better weapon if you're going to fight,” Sephiroth said. If Zack were to check them out something appropriate later, it wouldn't look odd. He had done so before when they sparred. 

“You're not going to try and stop me from fighting?” Cloud asked.

“Would it work?” Sephiroth asked.

“Nope,” Cloud said, popping the 'p' in a way that reminded him so much of Zack he almost smiled.

“Then it would be a waste of both our energies,” Sephiroth ran his hand down Cloud's back. “We should finish up. I'm sure Genesis is done wreaking havoc for now and we will need whatever rest we can get.”

They made the decision to split up, as Cloud still had a few things at Zack's. Cloud did fuss about being seen right to the door and only left went Zack opened it, but there was no margin for error with Cloud's safety here and he would have to get used to it.

Angeal had settled onto the couch in Genesis's. The tables remains were still there and if the way he didn't look up from staring at his lap when Sephiroth entered were not sign enough he was struggling, then that would be. There were stomping sounds from the bedroom, meaning Genesis had also returned but since there had been no clean up notification on his PHS, it didn't look like he had run into any problems. Sephiroth wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

Giving comfort had not been a required behaviour for Sephiroth. It was something he had learned from them, something he was still trying to learn. What would Angeal do in his stead? What did Angeal do when he had trouble feeling present after coming back up? Warmth, hydration, reassurance and time. They didn't have much of the last, but he could spare a little and hope it helped. He took out the cold water, the temperature had always helped with him and moved around to Angeal to hand it to him. It was an alarming half a minute until he looked at him in confusion before the realisation seemed to hit.

“Thank you,” Angeal took the water. It sounded like he needed it, his voice was scratchy. Sephiroth tried to pull the throw down over him and Angeal looked from side to side. “I'm not in shock.”

He'd had a shock, so it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility. “I was attempting comforting.”

Angeal's mouth twitched more than smiled, but he'd take it. “You're doing well,” he said. “I'm just not sure what to do with comfort right now. Everything's a little fuzzy and quiet and feels very far away.”

It was a feeling he knew well, but never one he had in this room or even this floor. It felt as it had broken some important barrier that Angeal didn't feel safe even with him right in front of him and there was even more of that muddled feeling lacing through him, like anger and sad and worry and more emotions that he could grasp at. Feeling such a volume of emotion at once was confusing and awful. 

“Can I help?” Sephiroth asked. It was hard to be reassuring when he had no way of giving anything concrete.

Angeal shook his head, “The one person I want to talk to about this is also the last person I want to talk to about this,” he said. “I just can't get that work I.D. out of my head. I thought I understood her and now she's just a familiar face with a stranger underneath it.”

“The document indicated whatever Hollander asked of her, she said no.” It was a small mercy, but any port in the storm would do. “She may feel badly about her involvement.”

“Would it matter to you,” Angeal stopped, then started again. “Would it matter if Hojo felt bad about what he does to you, even though he kept doing it?”

The answer sat uncomfortably in his gut, where something childlike and desperate was usually drowned out. “A little,” he admitted. If he had to, he could blame Cloud for making him think about what he was like at such a young age when he had not known better. 

“Then you're a more honourable man than I am,” Angeal said quietly. “She's my mother and I love her and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive her no matter how she feels. Family honour – what honour is there in my family? In people who turn their children into Shinra science projects?”

“If I am not my biological father,” Sephiroth replied, echoing something Angeal had reassured him of only a week or so ago. “Then you are not your parents.”

“They're a part of me,” Angeal replied. “My real father – the one who raised me and took care of me – taught me a lot about working hard and trying to do the right thing. Mom taught me about plants and nature and how to cook. They seep into every part of me.”

“It's been an hour. You don't have to make a decision on what it means to you now.” Sephiroth was sure he was butchering it, trying to echo Angeal's own sentiments back to him. “Except Hollander. I do need you to make a decision on him.”

“On what?” Angeal asked. 

“We will need a large distraction to leave by. While I can handle it at the top down, I am considering asking Genesis to live out his dream of setting the lab levels aflame.” Sephiroth knew they needed to give them something overwhelming to distract them all. “If you want Hollander to survive it, even if only to get answers, we will need to know beforehand.”

“I don't know if I have the right to decide if lives or dies,” Angeal shook his head.

“If you use the logic that Hojo must be my decision,” Sephiroth said. “Then Hollander must be yours.”

For a brief second, Angeal looked more upset than numb but he nodded. “I'll think about it,” he said. The agreement was punctuated by another smash of impact from the bedroom. “I should be in there.”

“You have enough to consider without having to duck,” Sephiroth told him. “I'll go. Wait for Zack and Cloud.”

In the bedroom, storm Genesis had hit the room full force. The wardrobe had been half pulled out and shoved into a bag haphazardly, his boots lay on the floor, but the vanity had suffered the worst of the damage with the cracked mirror having strewn the glass over it and the floor. If Sephiroth wasn't mistaken, there were also signs of Genesis's PHS in pieces among the glass which meant it was likely used a projectile. Genesis himself was sitting on the other side of the bed with his back to him. It was probable he had his copy of _Loveless_ and was attempting to calm himself down, which boded well.

“I don't think we have the time to replace that PHS,” Sephiroth said.

“They're tracked,” Genesis said.

Which he supposed was true, they would have had to get rid of them quickly afterwards. “Was the PHS or the mirror the offending object?”

“Both,” Genesis answered. Perhaps he ought to let him be, take solace in the same words he always seemed to and go and wait with Angeal.

Then Sephiroth saw it. The copy of Loveless that always sat beside his bedside, the old mass produced copy with a thousand notes in that didn't leave the apartment in case he lost it, lay burnt almost beyond recognition on the floor. He had other copies, but this had been the important one. It had been read to Angeal when he was grieving, it had been read to him in Wutai during a concussion where he was trying to remain conscious and it had been read to Cloud. It was his balm and it said something that it was shriveled in ashes on the floor.

Sephiroth climbed over the mess, eventually coming to sit down beside Genesis who it turned out was simply looking at his own hands. They were nice hands, he supposed, he took good care of them but he had never seen him stare at them unless he was planning to paint his nails. Somehow, he doubted this was why this time. 

“Did you locate Cloud's belongings?” Sephiroth asked.

“With Zack,” Genesis replied, without lifting his head. 

This had to be some sort of anxiety attack that he was unfamiliar with. What did Angeal do when Genesis seemed anxious? Their usual method of working out anxieties was unlikely to be wanted right now, so he had to remember how Angeal managed to calm without getting him with his pants around his ankles against the nearest surface. Angeal hugged him, he realised, one of those engulfing ones that felt oddly reassuring instead of constricting. They were not hugging people with each other, outside of sleeping arrangements. It felt too much like an admission of something to be comfortable for either of them.

Sephiroth was willing to try it. Only when he had pulled his arm around his side to try and arrange him so he could envelope him properly, Genesis moved and smacked his shoulder.

“What are you doing?!” Genesis demanded.

“When you're very upset, Angeal hugs you,” Sephiroth said, exasperatedly trying to figure out where he had gone wrong. It was because they were sitting side by side. Maybe if he tried it from behind?

“Are you trying to hug me?” Genesis asked.

“I think the angle is wrong,” Sephiroth decided.

“Have you ever seen a hug?” Genesis asked.

“Angeal hugs me occasionally,” Sephiroth said. “Zack also did a reasonable attempt at one a few weeks back.”

Genesis stared at him for a long moment, “Are you telling me that Zack Fair jumping all over you the night Cloud's clothes were taken was the only other time you've been hugged aside from when Angeal does it?”

“We don't hug,” Sephiroth replied. Surely he remembered that.

“I know that!” Genesis said, before he huffed and – laughed. His entire body seemed to shake from it, like it did when he found something so funny he slid onto the floor but he didn't seem particularly amused. “Thank the goddess for reminding me that even when it comes to a tragic backstory, I _still_ can't beat you at anything!”

“I didn't know that was a competition,” Sephiroth replied. 

“Isn't everything with us?” Genesis said, as the laughter tapered off into something that sounded like a disturbing mix of laughing and gasping for breath. 

“I think you may be winning that one,” Sephiroth replied. “Both you and Angeal were given parents.”

Genesis snorted. “No, Angeal got stuck with his hypocrite of a mother and I had....a _cover story_ ,” he spat. “A badly acted cover story at that, just to add insult to injury. If I wasn't such a fool, I would have figured all of this out years ago.”

“How could you have known?” Genesis with gossip was like a trained dog on the trail. If there was a way to know, he would have.

“There was always something not quite right,” Genesis looked away from him, his shoulders still moving even though three was no trace of laughter now. “In the house, there was just – something didn't feel right. I thought it was me. It's stupid but...when I was little, I thought perhaps there'd been some sort of mistake like there is in grand legends and heroic stories and one day, someone would show up and explain there'd been a mix up when I was born and I was nor theirs and out there would be parents who –“

Genesis didn't finish the sentence, just run his hands over his face and shook himself. “My friend, the fates are cruel. There are no dreams, no honor remains.”

“You burnt your copy,” Sephiroth said. “I thought that meant you didn't like it anymore and I'd get out of hearing it.”

“No such luck,” Genesis said. It didn't sound right. The tone was off. 

“Why did you burn it?” Sephiroth asked.

“It came from their library and I don't want anything from them,” Genesis said. He had gone back to looking at his fingers, turning them over as if he could find some sort of answer. Where Angeal clung to the only parent he was not biologically related to, Genesis wanted to burn off anything that reminded him of his own. “No wonder they _loved_ you when they met you. Practically fucking perfect.”

“I am far from perfect,” Sephiroth told him quietly. “You know this more than most.”

“I'm not sure that I know anything anymore,” Genesis said. “My childhood, my blood, my parents, even my name is just a fabrication. I fear looking at my reflection because I don't know if I will recognise the person there, or if there is will be a person there at all. I don't feel real at all, as if I may simply disappear if I look away too long.”

“I don't know where my name came from either,” Sephiroth said. “But I do know you exist.”

“How can you be sure?” Genesis asked.

“I'm not creative enough to imagine you,” Sephiroth told him. It was something he knew Genesis prided himself on, the time and energy he had put into crafting his own image and finding ways to express himself. There was no mistaking Genesis for any ordinary SOLDIER. “I don't think anyone but you could create the person you are.”

“You do lack artistic prowess,” Genesis said.

“My conversational skills also require work,” Sephiroth replied. “Perhaps I should bring some of those books with us and work on it. I tried to tell Cloud a childhood anecdote and it somehow turned into describing the deaths of children.”

Genesis's eyes snapped to his own. “Even for you, that's impressive.”

“It's been a long time since I had to explain something so personal to someone new,” Sephiroth replied. “I upset him.”

“There is no way to discuss your childhood without it being upsetting,” Genesis replied. “I suppose I ought to be grateful. I have no recollection of anything of the sort.”

“They must have known you'd be difficult,” Sephiroth suggested. “Maybe you bit someone. You do bite a lot.”

“I do not bite a lot!” Sephiroth looked at him until he huffed. “If I bite a lot, it's because you like it.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth agreed.

“Besides, the last administration date was as a newborn,” Genesis replied. “I couldn't have bitten anyone.”

“Why?” Sephiroth asked.

Genesis stared at him. “Babies don't have teeth, Sephiroth.”

"What you mean, babies don't have teeth?" Sephiroth asked. "They're called baby teeth."

"May the Goddess have mercy on me," Genesis ran his hand over his face. "Please tell me you haven't gone twenty-five years thinking babies are born with teeth."

Sephiroth shrugged. "It's never been a pressing concern."

"How can someone so smart be so stupid?" Genesis asked. 

"When would I have seen a newborn?" Sephiroth tried to tamp down the urge to get annoyed.

"I'm thankful Angeal decided against having children in the end," Genesis said. "I'm not sure who would need more teaching, you or them."

Sephiroth thought that was a bit of an stretch. "I didn't know he wanted children," he said.

"When we were younger," Genesis said. "Gave up on the idea when we came here. It's no life for a parent – unless you count Hojo, Hollander or Gillian, it seems. Perhaps to not know who my parents are is the kinder path.”

“No,” Sephiroth said, thinking of his mother: L, Jenova, or if they were the same person or a person at all. “It's not.”

“No, it's not. An ugly truth is better than a palatable lie,” Genesis nodded, “But at least it's real.”

“This is real,” Sephiroth reached over, pressing his mouth against his cheek. 

Genesis turned his cheek in against his. “This is real.”

Reassurance.

“I will have to find my answers somewhere else,” Sephiroth told him. “We'll need a distraction tonight. Do you still want to light the lab levels on fire? You had detailed plans last I asked.”

“I do,” Genesis said, rolling his shoulders and taking a deep breath. “Look at me, I'm turning into a melodramatic cliché when the world is crumbling. I need to get a grip.”

Sephiroth gripped his arm and Genesis snorted.

“It's a good thing you're pretty,” he said. “Because your sense of humour is atrocious.” 

“It's a good thing you're pretty,” Sephiroth echoed. “Because you've always been a melodramatic cliché.”

Genesis shook his head.

“We cannot go to Banora,” he said. “Even if they do not realise what we know, being within a mile of me is going to be hazardous to my _parents_ continual intake of oxygen.”

“Angeal is not sure if he wants to see his mother yet either,” Sephiroth agreed. “If the target is Cloud then it makes more sense to make sure his loved ones are safe. Do you remember where he's from?”

“It's some wretched place in the mountains on the western continent,” Genesis replied. “I believe the village is called Nibelheim.”

Sephiroth nodded. "Then we will go to Nibelheim."


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. For those who aren't around on Tumblr, our exams got cancelled one week then the next week they were back on so it was a bit of a mad rush. 
> 
> The tags have been updated so some minor spoilers about this chapter and the next in those. There will need to be an update again in a few chapters, but I don't want to spoil too far in advance. I've tried to be non-graphic while not shying away from the fact this is in it's summary a bit of a grizzly but necessary chapter.

' _The number you have dialed is currently unavailable. Please try again later._ '

To say Genesis was on his last nerve would be a gross overestimation of how many nerves he had left. What was the point of his parents having a PHS if they always forgot to charge the damn things? 

Perhaps it was for the best they had not answered. What would he have said to them? What could they possibly have said to smooth over any of this? He had half a mind to call Gillian and scream at her instead, but he also knew that Angeal deserved the right of confrontation with his own mother. Genesis's parents – his _foster_ parents according to his files, could they not even be bothered to adopt him properly? Perhaps they'd run into the snag of the very real possibility that legally, they did not exist. They did now, of course, they paid taxes and had paperwork but had anyone actually filed a birth certificate? He was sure Sephiroth didn't have one. Weapons didn't require proof of individual existence. 

As much as he had wanted to look away, to leave it there, to retreat in the way Angeal obviously was, it was simply not in his nature to run from necessary truths. On some logical level he knew that he was no different now than it had been a couple of hours ago, but his skin felt tight on his bones like an ill-fitting suit. He had made it as far as an attached report file that he realised had been written by his father before he had lashed out, because it was one thing to know he had struggled with his tutored work as child due to his tendency towards singular focus and quite another to see that even though it had never been addressed with him by them directly, his parents had not only noticed but felt it noteworthy enough to write about and point out to Shinra long before he had expressed any desire to be a SOLDIER. It was hard to acknowledge when he struggled at all, but harder still to swallow the idea they had noticed when he had struggled and laid it bare as some kind of failing on his part for not simply being better. 

If he could not look away, Genesis decided instead he wanted their betrayal burnt into his memory so he would never, ever forget how violated he felt at that moment. That instead of engaging with him, they had chosen to make his failings a delightful talking point between them and _Hollander_ like they were discussing a new piece of factory machinery that hadn't been worth the gil they paid for it.

Oh, but that wasn't true anymore, was it? Their little investment in a part of Shinra had paid off in the long run. No wonder they'd been happy to pay for his lessons before entering SOLDIER. Now he was a First class, one of the most powerful people on the planet and the most proficient magic user in Shinra. They handled his public image and despite the hiccupping start where they had been unsure if who he naturally was would be an image they thought would work, it had paid out over and over. 'Very modern and very Midgar' according to his mother, as if people who didn't live in Midgar couldn't relate to someone who played with gender expression and identity as much as he did but he'd put it down to generational difference. SOLDIER had brought him fame, and given he carried their name, it had been an excellent choice from a business perspective. 

They hadn't even called him by name in that report. Just his initial. Even his own name didn't belong to him.

Suddenly he had wanted nothing to do with them. His PHS cracked the vanity, the book from his fathers library burnt bright and then out on the floor and he had to will his hands to stop trembling at the loss of it. It had nothing to do with the Goddess, they didn't believe in her anyway and he had brought copies of his own over the years when he saw covers or editions he liked. The loss of all the notes he had spent twenty years making stung, but it didn't matter, not in the long run. He'd remember.

When Sephiroth had come in and tried in his own bizarre way to be comforting, Genesis had already begun to spin into the questions about himself and what parts of himself were truly his own. 

What exactly had happened to them? If they had been enhanced, would their eyes not have shown it? It was difficult to imagine Gillian, who this morning he would have said without question loved and treasured her son, would do something awful to him. To either of them. Even before they had began a romantic relationship, she had always treated him kindly. It wouldn't be out of line to say he loved her, but it said something very unkind that he had more trouble believing she had anything to do with this than his parents. 

What about his birth parents, what had happened to them? Why had they gotten a biological parent when he had not? Had it been their choice to give him away or had it been some sort of mandate? Would it be worse or better if they hadn't wanted to? Did he already have a name or had his parents chosen it and if so, which parents and why? What made them different to Sephiroth? All of it just made him feel ready to scream and destroy it all, but he could not only think of himself. Not something that came easily to him admittedly, he had a self centred tunnel vision and wasn't so lacking in self awareness that he didn't know it, but he had to think about Angeal who had gotten a horrible shock about both his mother and Hollander. 

Genesis could almost be impressed if he weren't horrified. Hollander was certainly punching above his weight. He didn't think Hollander had it in him to be quite as awful as Hojo, but he had seen his biological child for almost twelve years and never told him anything. Angeal only mattered once he was 'successful' and that made his blood boil. It may not have been consistent, sociopathic abuse but it was no less cruel. What were they going to do if Angeal decided he didn't want to hurt him? Every part of him wanted to make him die screaming in slow, methodical agony and he wasn't sure he could move past that. 

Genesis was absolutely sure that he shouldn't move past it, but his moral standing was more of a moral slouching compared to Angeal's so he usually took his word for it. 

Goddess, what did it say about them that the last normal person standing was _Zack Fair_?

Angeal didn't look much more present when they made their way out, the few important possessions packed into his bag and placed at the door along with Sephiroth's and Angeal's own. Genesis placed his palms on either side of his jaw, pushing his head up to look at him. Every last person responsible for making him look so completely lost was going to pay dearly. Until then, he could be his shield. 

“Don't you dare leave me,” Genesis said. If nothing else of their childhood had been real, they had each other.

It would be enough. It had to be.

Angeal looked down, then back to his face. “I won't.”

“Swear on it,” Genesis said. 

“I swear,” Angeal said. “I'm going with you. None of you can cook worth a damn, you'll starve otherwise.”

Genesis broke into an unexpected smile. Not precisely true, but he would take it if it helped. Shinra could burn and they'd just go somewhere else, somewhere Angeal could have his garden and his dogs and Genesis, he could build a library of his own that was much better than his fathers had been. Somewhere both Sephiroth and Cloud could figure out what called to them without looking over their shoulders or tracking down bugs for even a smidge of privacy and somewhere the puppy could run out all of that energy . They were losing a place to exist at Shinra's pleasure, yes, but they could find somewhere to build a home. A real one this time.

Zack and Cloud reappeared with their own bags not long after. Cloud had changed into one of Zack's uniforms, for he had none of his own and he would need the maneuverability and armour it afforded him. Despite the best of intentions to do so, no one really slept. They managed to eat a little, but it was too close now for Genesis to do anything but feel the swimming, heady anticipation of the night. 

The plan was simple enough. Destroy the main lab levels (there were enough mako tanks that it was going to go up spectacularly) while Zack took Cloud down to the garage where they could get the hell out. Sephiroth would act as damage control to make sure they had minimal problems getting out even with resources being diverted to what was going to be an impressive explosion or twenty, then meet up with Angeal and himself to get out themselves. The subject of Hojo and Hollander was a more split one, where Cloud had wanted a shot at the former badly but there would be no way to utilise the distraction and let him. As badly as Genesis felt about taking it from him, he could hardly deny the excitement of finally, _finally_ being able to rip the life from that miserable troll. Angeal was struggling to come to terms with a decision on Hollander, his lack of conviction convincing Zack that Hollander shouldn't die because he wasn't sure while Genesis himself insisted at this point he ought to. 

They initially settled on an R-point in the wastes given nightfall, but when Zack's turk in training showed up with burners for Zack and a less than comprehensive but still useful note of the surveillance under the plate, it made more sense to go there with three different R-points. It would be unexpected, but despite what Shinra seemed to think, their control of the slums was marginal at best. It would be easier to regroup there and take a back way out when they were already casting their net too widely.

It was a little after eleven at night when they geared up. Genesis had campaigned for midnight but no one had his sense of appropriate dramatic timing. Zack had slipped down to the armory and booked a slot in the training rooms that he would not use but would serve as a distraction. 

All that remained was firing the arrow. 

Genesis and Angeal would have to leave first just in case Zack and Cloud ran into trouble on their way to the training rooms and they lost their element of surprise. He was loathe to put Angeal in combat right now, but they didn't have the time to wait around until Angeal could wrestle his conscience into submission. What he wanted was answers even if he didn't know it now and this was one of the few places that would have them.

No one said goodbyes. This was just another battle, one of hundreds they had been in and they would reunite in only a few hours.

The route to the labs was more than familiar. They took several trips a year here and if they had been ill enough, it would not even be out of the question for them to come here instead of medical. That should have been their first clue that something was terribly wrong. So many things made sense now in hindsight. 

“I'm sorry I'm useless,” Angeal said quietly.

“You're not,” Genesis told him when they reached an entrance point. “Go find your answers. I'll find you when it's over.”

“I'm sure I'll hear it,” Angeal replied.

“I hope he's a screamer,” Genesis sighed joyously at the thought of it. “It would be the only thing making it more satisfying.”

“Don't get distracted,” Angeal told him. 

“Take your own advice,” Genesis said. "Be careful."

They split up on entering. Angeal wanted to go to Hollanders office here, to get whatever he could and find the controls to the alarms. Genesis could look for Hojo by himself. There was no luck at his offices, empty through the glass but the floors were large and winding. Whether he would find him before or after he was setting the place alight was questionable, but they were on a timeline for Zack and Cloud and he would set the tanks to blow before finding him if he had to. It might even flush the rat out.

The alarm on the burner told him he was out of time within ten minutes or so. That was fine. Several of the lab assistants and staff had tried to intervene and with that amount of bodies, there would be questions sooner rather than later if the alarm hadn't already gone off.

Genesis had been right. The fire was _beautiful_. It tore through the labs with reckless abandon, which meant Angeal had managed to turn the master switch for the sprinklers off. Glass and plastic warped and when he tore another tank open for fuel, he had been close enough to the fire to feel it lick his fingers with scorching heat. The change in lighting indicated the alarms had gone off, the noise a low, looped sound compared to the crackle of flames. Even if the fumes made his chest hurt, watching the clumps of staff soon to be naught but bodies twisted and blackened beyond recognition made him linger more than he would have.

For the briefest second, he considered being moved by pleas for help but it took only a look at the surgical suites next to lunch rooms for his temper to burn hotter than the mako explosions. They deserved it. Even if they were not the same people entirely who had been involved with Angeal or himself, they had been complicit in what had been done to Cloud and what had been happening his whole damned life with Sephiroth. They ought to die a thousand times over for it if only such a thing were possible. He could take comfort in watching them now.

The problem came when he had gone through almost every area of the main labs and Hojo was not in sight. Even the 'residential' areas (Goddess, there really were children's drawings on the walls here) had nothing. Panic had begun to rise in him – he was here, Sephiroth knew that mans schedule like the back of his hand, he was _here_! Past the containment areas where he found a surprising amount of 'specimens' had been let loose and were currently enjoying a new catered barbecue for lunch, past the control towers and up to the offices where he found Angeal at the door to Hollanders.

“I can't find him!” Genesis said miserably.

“Sephiroth always knows where he is,” Angeal said dully.

“Unless the President has called him upstairs, he's not here.” Genesis huffed at the idea, but he supposed it wouldn't be the worst thing if he had been called up there. Masamune would do a similar enough job to rapier and if anyone deserved it, he supposed Sephiroth did. It didn't make the uncertainty any less frustrating.

“Did you leave anyone alive down there?” Angeal asked.

“Not if I could help it,” Genesis said. “I didn't open the cells”

“No,” Angeal said and Goddess, he actually looked anguished about it. “If they were SOLDIERs – people – they deserved the right to take on the people that did that to them.”

“Yes, they did,” Genesis agreed. “As do we.”

“We don't even know what happened to us,” Angeal shook his head.

“We don't have to,” Genesis replied. “All we truly needed to know is what they were willing to do to our people, what they have done to our own people. What they did only weeks ago to Cloud, let alone what they've been complicit in with Sephiroth that made him the way he is. Do not waste your mercy on them, my love, they do not deserve it.”

Angeal looked down, but nodded almost imperceptibly.

Good enough.

“We should take one last check through to make sure I haven't missed him,” Genesis replied. “Hopefully if I have not, he lays skewered on the executive table upstairs.”

“Sephiroth wouldn't do that,” Angeal replied. “It would mean leaving his sword.”

Genesis laughed, almost giddy despite coughing through it.

“You're right!” he declared. “He loves that sword, he would never leave it there. What was I thinking?”

There was still no sign of Hojo. A quick text told them that Sephiroth was on his way down to the lobby, so it was time for them to go. They were almost out of the main lab floors when a familiar, exasperated voice caught their attention.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?”

_Hollander._

Hollander stood surveying the damage around the lab, shaking his head.

“I thought you'd grown out of this,” he had the cheek to say. “How many staff members have you killed? Do you have any idea how long it's going to take to replace this many people? We're going to be backed up for months!”

“Where's Hojo?” Genesis ground out through his teeth.

Angeal had circled his wrist, but he knew he had told him that he'd respect his wishes. He just didn't have to _like_ it.

“Ran off to something supposedly important a few hours ago,” Hollander grumbled.

_Damn it!_

Had he known? How had he known? They were going to have to track the bastard down by themselves. At least it meant Cloud could get a shot, which was the only thing good about it. It was a small setback in the grand scheme as long as they could get to him before the President tried to lock his precious scientist away from them, he told himself. Zack was with Cloud. If nothing else, Zack had learned to be protective over their youngest partner through experience so they would have heard by now if they had run into trouble. 

Perhaps Hojo was in Junon, since the President's trip had been postponed. They'd have to use the port anyway so killing him would be on the way. They could multitask.

“Never mind a psychiatric hold, you're going to end up in a cell for this,” Hollander huffed. “Damage will definitely come out of your paycheck. I hope you're satisfied.”

“I'm getting there.” If Angeal would have been more able to cope with Genesis ripping Hollanders' throat out then and there, he'd be a lot closer to it.

“I thought you knew better,” Hollander said to Angeal. "I thought you could control them."

“Don't speak to him!” Genesis growled.

Hollander had done quite enough without that.

“Have you gone mad?” Hollander huffed. “I know you hate Hojo but do you have any idea the damage you've done because you have no impulse control? Getting you out of this one is going to be a nightmare.”

“I don't want you to get me out of anything,” Genesis said coldly. “I want nothing from you. The only reason you're still breathing is because –“ At least he managed to cut himself off before he said it, but Goddess, these _people_. What was wrong with them?

Angeal cut off Hollanders response with a simple, “We know.”

Hollander was quick on the uptake as he always was. “Know what?”

“About Project G,” Angeal said quietly. 

Hollander looked as if he'd been smacked by a wet fish, but cleared his throat. “That's what you're throwing a fit over?” he said. “It's....it's a bit of an overreaction.”

“An overreaction?!” Genesis snarled at him. 

“I don't understand why you're not happy,” Hollander said. “You're successful. The project worked. It should never have been put on hold.”

“On hold?” Angeal echoed.

“Initial testing was inconclusive, we didn't have a good baseline comparison and thought it had failed,” Hollander replied. “That you were effectively human. I know it's frustrating that you were robbed of your rightful roles but we're so close now!”

“What?” Genesis asked stupidly. What were they supposed to be if not human?

“There were always markers in your genes but all tests came back human,” Hollander made a lamenting sigh. “I knew there needed to be further testing because there was _something_ there. Then Gillian decided to let her nerves get the better of her and tried to run. I still believe if she'd kept it together, we could have perfected the process.”

“Don't talk about her,” Angeal all but hissed at him.

“Gillian was once a remarkable scientist,” Hollander shook his head. “Then she lost her nerve. I did try to point out to the President it was just hysteria, she had given birth only weeks before and had struggled to keep her mind afterwards but in walked Hojo with that little brat.”

“Shut up!” Angeal's voice may have been hoarse, but the anger in it was undeniable even if he hadn't walked right past him along the gangway. “We're done here.”

“Consider this,” Genesis indicated the fire sputtering behind them along the surprisingly bloody gangway. Perhaps he missed a few shots and they'd tried to climb up to try uselessly to save themselves. How devastating. “Our resignation.”

Hollander scoffed, “You can't be serious.”

“Quite serious,” Genesis replied. “Stay out of our way else my temper may slip. Angeal is the only reason you're not a splatter mark on that ground.”

Hollander thought he'd have better luck with him. “You can't throw away everything just because you're upset,” Hollander told him. “When you calm down, you'll realise this is a good thing.”

“And you have the cheek to call me crazy,” Genesis scoffed. 

“You're the one trailing blood behind you,” Hollander said. "Think about what you're giving up!"

Was he actually trailing blood behind him? Oh, damn it, he was! He must have stepped in the remains somewhere. Blood was murder to get out of these boots, he was going to have to treat them before it dried completely or he'd stain them permanently. Even dead, the Science department was a menace. 

“Where could you possibly go? You belong here. You have the chance to be everything you were born to be!” Hollander called back to Angeal. “Don't make your mothers mistake!”

It was not Angeal that made the mistake, though he doubted either of them knew quite how badly Hollander had screwed up until he saw his face freeze as the Buster sword cut through him like a knife through warm butter. There was perhaps something poetic about the sword his father had made for him, the one that actually mattered to him because biology be damned, ridding the planet of Hollander. If Angeal had not seemed on the edge of another crumble into himself, he may have been able to think of a few words appropriate to mark the occasion but there were SOLDIERs are arriving at different entrances, no doubt the Turks had been called in as well and at least one of those they didn't want to hurt on their way out the door.

“Sephiroth is waiting,” Genesis said instead.

“I made a mess of my sword,” Angeal said numbly.

“I'll help you clean it up as soon as we find Zack,” Genesis tugged on his arm, but he was still staring down at Hollander. A mess even as a corpse. The longer they lingered, the more chance they'd run into one of their own SOLDIERs and face the impossible choice between hurting them to leave and trying to explain what could not be expediently explained. “We have to go now.”

“I shouldn't have done that,” Angeal replied.

Oh, for the love of the Goddess, they didn't have _time_ to fall apart. “Angeal,” Genesis said sharply. “You promised to follow me anywhere. I'm going now. Come with me.”

It took a moment longer than he wanted, but Angeal pulled his gaze away from the body long enough for Genesis to yank him along. They had to run now or they'd never make it on time. Well, they wouldn't anyway, but they would be even later and he wasn't exactly worried about Sephiroth – if they hadn't drilled in a sense of unending loyalty to him, to make it seem as if he could never leave because he needed them, they wouldn't truly be able to contain him.

“You're late,” Sephiroth told him. Judging by the state of the lobby, he wasn't the only one cutting a bloody path through the Shinra payroll.

“Hojo wasn't there,” Genesis said bluntly. The look on his face confirmed Sephiroth hadn't realised. “He ran off this afternoon. It seems this has become a hunting trip.”

Sephiroth wasn't looking at him now, but Angeal. _Ah._ It was unusual to see the Buster sword out, let alone bloody but they were short on time and Genesis simply shook his head, mouthing 'Hollander' at him. To his credit, Sephiroth seemed to understand the implication quickly enough. 

“The president?” Genesis asked.

“I imagine he'll be along to replace his father at any moment,” Sephiroth replied. “We have the R-point.”

Then he had spoken to Zack and Cloud, who must already have been en route to the train graveyard which had been designated as their first choice if Zack and Cloud either were not followed or had dealt with those following. It was as good a place as any and not a place people lingered if they could help it.

“Then I think we're done here,” Genesis replied. “ _My soul, corrupted by vengeance hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey_.”

“There isn't time for _Loveless_ ,” Sephiroth replied. He was already drawing his sword.

“Don't be ridiculous,” Genesis disagreed even as the shouts and stomps of imminent company echoed down into the atrium. “There is always time for _Loveless_!” 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen Hojo will get what's coming to him as I promised but I think we can all agree that as much as Genesis wants it, there's someone else who really deserves to take that shot.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of this chapter was originally quite a lot longer, but it meant waiting a long time to get to the action so I ended up putting into a small bullet point fic you can find [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29070261)!

“Here we go,” Zack said from beside him, as the lights in the elevator changed to high visibility strips instead of bright, noisy lighting they had been.

One of the things Cloud had not been enjoying about his new enhancements was how noisy everything seemed to be in the corridor of the First's residential floor. Stepping into the elevator with Zack and Sephiroth meant that every time the door opened to let someone on, what sounded like a low grade but irritating noise became a lot louder and bordered on uncomfortable. No one had actually come into the elevator either so it was pointless. People tended to take one look at Sephiroth behind him, mutter something and then go elsewhere. It felt funny to consider that a couple of months ago, he would have been one of them but he had spent so much time in and out of each of the Firsts pockets that it barely registered that Sephiroth the terrifying, incredible war hero was the same Sephiroth who swore him to secrecy when he found him eating some of what turned out to be Genesis's chocolate coffee beans and bribed him by sharing.

It was worth it. They were delicious.

It had been a lot of things like that over the last few weeks. Zack had challenged him, running from his apartment to Genesis's but while Zack had skidded to a stop, he'd gone right over the couch and almost hit Angeal in the head with his feet. Zack had cracked up laughing at him as he tried to apologise profusely but Angeal had just hooked Zack by the waist and pulled him down over the back of the couch onto his lap. Zack, forever unflappable, immediately told him if he wanted him on top, he could've just asked. Angeal had groaned and put his head into Zack's neck and it was nice to have backup against Zack being ridiculous.

Genesis, upon learning he had slept with – just slept, not anything else! – Sephiroth had promptly demanded the same so-called privilege. It had mostly ended in a heated discussion of _Loveless_ since he'd had it read to him and okay, maybe he had gone over it himself a couple of times but it seemed like the kind of thing that was important even if it really wasn't something he understood the obsession over. However, when he realised he was probably being a shitty person to argue something Genesis clearly loved out when he'd literally put his life on hold while Cloud got his shit together, he had tried to backtrack. Genesis had scoffed at the idea he would be offended, proclaiming that he didn't have to agree with him and that he actively enjoyed a good argument most of the time and so few people were willing to give him one. Cloud had just said it explained a lot about him, which he seemed to take as a compliment. 

It was kind of funny that two of three of Shinra's trinity (quartet?) elite were two people that seemed like they were far more passionate about something other than SOLDIER. Angeal had even prompted him to talk to his plants when he'd been going out of his skin from the confinement and needed a change of scenery, insisting it seemed to help them grow and that every living deserved a chance at love and care. Even if he felt a little silly doing it, it felt like he was being trusted with something important and he didn't want to let him down. 

Cloud didn't want to let anyone down. As hard as things had been with the very real possibility he was about to turn into a monster without warning, he wasn't oblivious to how fucked everything was for his – boyfriends? Were they at that point? Only Zack and him had gone on an actual date, but being confined to the floor had really put a hold on his ability to go on dates. It wasn't the most pressing thing to worry about right now.

Sephiroth left them at the garage level, telling them that he would stall any attempt to intervene from SOLDIER but to be careful of patrols already out and the army if Shinra decided to give chase. 

“You're the one playing one playing one man army,” Zack said, walking backwards away from them to survey what they could use. “You be careful!”

“They pose no threat to me,” Sephiroth told them bluntly. Probably true. It didn't mean they couldn't worry.

Zack wound up picking a bike over a car because he wanted speed and maneuverability. There were enough junk places to pick up a second hand car that didn't have Shinra written all over it and it would be harder to sweep it for any devices. Cloud also wanted the bike over the car because he didn't think he'd get the chance to ride one any time soon and who knows when he was about to start sprouting horns or scales or something. Maybe Zack had picked up on that particular want because he tossed Cloud the keys and only climbed on after Cloud had, hooking his arms around his waist.

“You know the slums better than I do,” Zack said in his ear, pulling himself tight against him and ducking to avoid the sword currently strapped on Cloud's back. “You know where you're going.”

There had been quite a few patrols down there when he was in his first year in the infantry, so yeah, he did know his way around okay. While he hadn't exactly frequented the train graveyard, he knew it was a ways down by the Sector 7 station and he knew his way there by train. There were no trains running at this hour. Even if Cloud had never taken a bike down the tunnels, he still knew the route via the tunnels so it should be too tough to manage . His life seemed to be full of firsts (and Firsts) lately so he headed out onto the streets and tried not to feel apprehensive about the lack of resistance. No one seemed all that bothered by them, maybe they were used to seeing SOLDIERs take off on bikes at all hours if they had to go somewhere but it was all feeling a little bit too easy. 

Even when the gates opened using an I.D. Sephiroth had given them to override the locking mechanism to the tunnel driveway, nothing seemed to be throwing up any red flags. 

Right up until Zack forced his head down, narrowly avoiding a stream of bullets. 

A sharp glance back showed they had company in the shape of two infantry vehicles demanding they pull over. Fat fucking chance. Cloud put his foot down and began to dart between the few cars on the roads, while he heard the slices of air and realised Zack was using the broadsword to deflect bullets. 

“Any advice on taking out those vans?” Zack yelled.

With a sword? Not unless they got close enough to go through the sides. “Side armour is shit,” Cloud said. “We'd have to get closer!”

“Then we gotta get closer!” Zack yelled. “If they hit the wheels, we're fucked!”

How exactly was he supposed to do that without getting them riddled with bullets? Unless he tried to turn them around and gunned straight for one of them. If he ended up a skid mark on the side of a road after all this, he was going to be pissed.

“Get ready!” Cloud yelled back, skidding off to the side of a tunnel and coming back down in front of of one of the vans. He hadn't expected Zack to put his legs around his, draw the sword Cloud had 'borrowed' and wield both. Catching the glimpses of silver as he tried to both cover them and then cut through the sides and wheels of one of the vans repeatedly, it was really obvious why Zack had gotten fast tracked to First Class.

“Round two?” Zack yelled, as Cloud tried to keep the bike steady enough for Zack to bend in the right ways without losing his grip. One down, one still active. Cloud hit his breaks, then swerved to try and help Zack with avoiding getting shot. 

However, trying to get at the van who had just seen what had happened proved trickier. Cloud heard a sound he couldn't identify, followed by Zack hissing. 

_Shit!_

Was he hit?!

“M'fine!” Zack yelled at him. Then as if he was trying to prove it, he cut deep into the side of the truck. “Go!”

Cloud did and the sound of screeching metal and the sight of sparks to his side was enough to make him think they'd managed it. They needed to get somewhere they could stop and see if Zack actually was fine, but that wouldn't happen if they gained more tails. He heard more than saw the truck go over the side and he felt fleetingly bad knowing that this was the kind of shit they made army grunts do and it wasn't personal, but they had made it personal by hurting Zack in the process.

The army wasn't the only thing in the tunnels. The reports about monsters being down there turned out to be true. It was a horrifying thought that this could have been him, that this could be what remained of people who had been in his situation but he didn't know if the process was reversible and the one person who would know was hopefully six feet under by now. Or at the very least, a burn mark on the ground. Genesis and Angeal must have gone hard, because there had been actual smoke coming from the building when they'd hit the tunnels. That was going to grab some attention.

After hearing Zack hiss again, Cloud pulled his sword back from him awkwardly and did his best to help out so Zack could hold on and stay close. 

“You got 'im!” Zack whooped as he sent something that looked more rat than monster into the walls. “You sure you haven't been in SOLDIER training this whole time?”

“I just watch you!” Cloud hollered back.

“Then I must be a great teacher!” Zack called way too loud for how close he was.

With that humble point, it was a surprise to find there were a lot more people out in Sector 7 than there had been on the plate. They had drawn quite a few stares as they came to a stop, so Cloud mustered up his best patrol voice to tell them to move along, there was nothing to see here. They would have to leave the bike somewhere it would probably get stolen, but there wasn't a better option. They couldn't risk that they were still followed somehow and it drew more attention than they wanted.

The one upside of the built up slums was that there were plenty of places to duck in and rummage through their bags. Cloud fought a wince when he saw the blood stains coming through by Zack's shoulder and the streaks of red down his arm – they would need to clean that out properly.

“It's not too bad,” Zack said, pushing his chin to his chest to try and get a look at it. “It's kind of worse that it's already healing. It means going back in for the bullet.”

That would have to wait for somewhere with running water to do that. There might still be a water main in the train graveyard if they were lucky.

“Do you hear that?” Zack suddenly said, his voice low and hand already sliding towards his sword. Then Cloud heard it: footsteps getting too close for comfort. They hadn't signaled anyone they were ready to meet up yet. 

Zack put his finger to his lips and Cloud tried to stop himself from breathing so damn loud. They couldn't get caught now. 

“Cloud?”

Of anyone's voice Cloud imagined he would hear here, this one hadn't even been on the radar.

“Tifa?”

“It is you!” Tifa brightened at the realisation that yeah, it was him. More to the point, it was definitely her! It had been five years since he'd seen her on that water tower, but she was unmistakable. What was she doing here? How was she here? Then she seemed to get her bearings again, and looked between him and Zack while he was wiping the latters blood off with a cotton pad. “Are you okay?”

There was no way to answer that. How did he condense the last two months of his life into a quick, easy to explain story. Zack lifted me up while drunk and plopped me down in front of Shinra's three most elite and it ended with him getting experimented on by a mad scientist? That sounded ridiculous. 

“Tifa from your home town?” Zack piped up. Shit, of course, he'd gotten weirdly nostalgic last week after the whole thing about Sephiroth not knowing where he was born and talked a little about his only other kind of real friend.

“Yeah,” Cloud said. “What are you doing here?”

Tifa looked down, going back and forth from heel to toe nervously. “It's kind of a long story.”

“Bet you I can beat it,” Cloud told her.

Tifa smiled, “I might take you up on that.” Then she indicated his clothes. “I guess you ended up living your dream after all.”

Right, he looked like a SOLDIER. Some joke that had turned out to be.

“Yeah, today is a particular highlight,” Cloud said. Tifa was again looking between them. She deserved a real answer. She was one of the only people who did. “We're not really seeing eye to eye with Shinra right now.”

“Yeah, I'm definitely fired,” Zack chuckled to himself. It didn't sound entirely genuine, maybe he was more hurt than he was letting on. “We should keep moving, patrols will be along at some point and I need a little wound licking time. It was nice to meet you, Tifa.”

“Why are you avoiding the patrols?” Tifa asked.

Zack looked to Cloud, giving him the choice on what to tell her and he kind of wanted to in the same way part of him wanted to go and tell his mom what happened. Tifa knew how he felt about SOLDIER, they were on the news every day when they were kids and everyone had said they were going to be one. Cloud had just been a lot more determined than most because he had more to prove.

“Part of that long story?” Tifa asked.

“Yeah,” Cloud said. “I don't know if any of it is being reported yet. Did you see the smoke?”

“Is it something to do with the dangerous sample breach?” Tifa asked. Cloud stared at her until she elaborated. “The troopers at the station, they said they were looking for a Shinra research specimen that had escaped. That it was dangerous to the public and uh, encouraged us to go home.”

“So you didn't,” Cloud said.

“It wouldn't be the first time I've snuck out to see you,” Tifa said.

Wait – sample? Hadn't that been what he was listed as in those notes Kunsel found? 

“That would be me,” Cloud said, as Tifa looked a little confused. “I'm the dangerous lab sample.”

Tifa opened her mouth, then shook her head and looked at Zack. “What about you?”

“Dating the dangerous sample,” Zack said, giving her a mock salute. “We're trying to bust him out of Midgar but trying to get past the patrols without causing too much notice is pretty hard.”

“Especially when you're covered in blood,” Cloud said.

“Yeah, that doesn't help,” Zack agreed. “I'd love to pump you for as many embarrassing stories about Cloud as a kid as I can, but our priority has to be getting somewhere to lay low until they stop searching this sector.”

“And getting that bullet out,” Cloud insisted. He wasn't going to make him have surgery over him.

Tifa looked down again, then to Cloud and then Zack. He was half expecting her to nod, to go back and maybe he'd never see her again. It hurt to think about, one of the few things he'd wanted from Nibelheim when Sephiroth had explained their destination had been to see her again and she was right here. 

“Trust me?” Tifa asked, suddenly.

Yes. On gut instinct, yes. It was the only person who had bothered with him before Zack and that still meant something. 

“Yeah,” Cloud said.

“Okay,” Tifa backed out from the corner. “Follow me!”

Zack looked to Cloud, “You sure about this?”

“It's Tifa,” Cloud said, with a shrug. “It doesn't matter how many years it's been.”

“Good enough for me,” Zack said, hefting a bag over his back and Cloud followed suit. He wanted to take Zack's too, but Tifa was already moving quickly.

Tifa led the way through the streets and there must have been something about being with her that made people not stare half as much as they had before. Maybe it was the lack of obvious blood straining Zack's arm, but still, two people in SOLDIER uniforms running around in the early hours had to be weird. Maybe people were too drunk and thought they were imagining them.

“Tifa?” Cloud asked, as they came to a stop in front of a rickety looking bar.

“We're closed,” Tifa said, walking up the steps. “No one will come in here if we're quick.”

It was a pretty run down place, but not as bad as Cloud had seen in his patrol days. There had been no sign of Tifa then, but he hadn't been on patrol duty around here in almost two years. He kept getting in trouble and getting overnight shifts guarding within the complex so they'd just taken him off the rotation. Had Tifa already been here then?

“I don't want you to get in trouble because of me,” Cloud said.

Tifa just smiled as she made her way behind the bar, “I can handle a little trouble.” She put a cloth under the tap, letting it run over it. “Besides, how else are we going to know who has the better story if you don't stick around to tell it?”

Cloud almost argued the point. They would have to go to the train graveyard at some point, but it would take the others time to get down there and if they were pressed for time, they might not get another chance. 

“Here,” Tifa handed Zack the cloth. “You should clean that properly.”

“Thanks.” Zack sat down at one of the wooden tables, pulling off the turtleneck to reveal the full extent of the entry point that was trying to close over. Zack inspected it as best he could, huffing in frustration with it. “Yeah, I gotta get this out in the next couple of hours or it'll heal in there. Angeal's got horror stories from the war about digging grit out of wounds that had already closed over.”

“I'll text and say we're somewhere safe,” Cloud said. While he could probably get it out, it wasn't his area of expertise if something went wrong. “We are somewhere safe, right?”

Tifa nodded. “Who are you texting?” 

Cloud hesitated. 

“More of the long story?” Tifa asked. “I'm starting to think you've hustled me.”

“You didn't figure I had you beat when you heard about the whole dangerous escaped lab specimen part?” Cloud asked.

“Maybe,” Tifa admitted. “Are you? Dangerous?”

Cloud wasn't sure how to answer that. “To Shinra,” he said, finally. “Not to you.”

That netted him a smile in response. “You want to tell me about it?”

“You first,” Cloud said. “Why are you here? I didn't think you'd leave.”

“Neither did I,” Tifa admitted, looking down at the bar. “But there was a problem at the reactor. Some Shinra specialists showed up and – people started to go missing.”

Cloud felt his pulse in his throat. “Missing?”

“It was weird,” Tifa was shuffling nervously. “When the martial arts master I was working with moved on, Dad pushed me to go with him to keep learning. At least, that was what he said.”

“You think he was worried about you,” Cloud said. As much as he and her father hated each other, it was obvious he wanted to protect her and he couldn't begrudge him that. What he couldn't figure out was why his mother hadn't mentioned it. Did she just think it wasn't related? Was she worried he might have worried about her? Had she mentioned it and he just didn't think it was connected?

Tifa nodded. “He says it hasn't been as bad lately,” she said. “I don't know if that means something or not.”

“We're going there,” Cloud said. “What happened with me...they might go after Mom.”

“Your mom?” Tifa gasped. “Why?”

This was hard for a whole different reason because he didn't really understand it himself. On some level, he understood that they'd been trying to replicate the process that made Sephiroth as powerful as he had been but what he didn't understand was why he survived and what that meant for him. Trying to explain it would out things about Sephiroth and he was such a private person, he didn't deserve to have Cloud spill his private life out even if it was to someone trustworthy.

“There was an experimental process,” Zack piped up, dabbing at his wound. “And it killed everyone else, or worse. They want him because he survived and they want to know why.”

Cloud gave him a grateful smile. “So we busted out,” he said. 

“Sounds more like a rescue mission,” Tifa said. “I don't think many people get out of Shinra's Science labs.”

“Those aren't supposed to be public knowledge,” Zack said, slowly. He was looking at Tifa strangely. “But you're not surprised, not by any of it.”

Tifa looked downright shifty, then shook her head. “No,” she said. “I'm not.”

“Why?” Zack asked. Cloud was about ready to tell him to back down, this was Tifa, she was the only other person who had believed in him that wasn't Zack or his mom in a really long time. But if everything else had been turned on it's head, what if five years was enough to change someone? 

“I've – heard about it before,” Tifa admitted. “I'm sorry, I don't know if I have the right to tell you. I'd have to ask.”

“Then can you ask please?” Zack sighed. He sounded exhausted. “We've had enough surprises lately. I just want to know what I'm up against.”

Tifa looked at him for a long moment before pulling out her PHS. “I might not get an answer till tomorrow,” she said.

“We'll be around,” Zack promised Cloud as much as Tifa.

“Give me your PHS,” Tifa said, turning to Cloud. “I'll put my number in and I'll text you as soon as I know.”

Cloud gave her his PHS, but while she was putting it in, it pinged. That was probably from Sephiroth telling them they were on their way down.

“Um,” Tifa said.

Oh. Yeah. 

“I can explain,” Cloud said.

“Why Sephiroth is texting you?” Tifa laughed a little too forcefully. “Is that actually...?”

“Yeah,” Cloud said. It wasn't as if Shinra could keep their most famous SOLDIER First leaving a secret, was it? “Not just me and Zack going. They have their reasons too, but it's not my story to tell you either.”

“They?” Tifa asked.

“Sephiroth, Genesis, Angeal.” Cloud said. “I told you it was a long story.”

“Shinra's elite are leaving them?” Tifa actually did seem surprised by that. “Because of what happened with you?”

“You know me,” Cloud said. “I make friends everywhere.”

Zack barely covered his laugh with a snort.

“We've gotten close,” he offered by way of explanation.

“Close enough they're leaving?” Tifa asked.

“Really close,” Cloud said.

There was a weird buzzer sound, which he at first thought might have been Zack's burner. Kunsel seemed like the kind of guy who would troll him that way.

It wasn't. It was Tifa's.

“I – uh,” Tifa shrugged. “Can you hang around a bit longer? The friend that the story belongs to, about Shinra, she wants to talk to you.”

“Now?” Cloud asked.

“Now,” Tifa said. “Shinra watches her but it's late enough she probably won't have too much trouble shaking her usual stalkers. She's being pretty insistent. I think it's the first time she's heard about someone else escaping.”

This was sounding like a worse and worse idea by the moment. If there was someone else out there that had survived, why hadn't Shinra just brought them back in again? “You're sure she's not with Shinra?”

“I'm sure,” Tifa swallowed hard. “They killed her mother. Would you work with them after that?”

No. No, he wouldn't. He was still feeling sick from the idea his mom could already be in danger without him even being involved.

Cloud relented. “As long as she's quick,” he said, looking to Zack more than Tifa. If nothing else, he knew the idea of other former lab rats was important to Sephiroth and for that reason alone, they would make the time. “We'll stay.”


	26. Chapter 26

  
There were moments that felt as if they ought to have some kind of monumental cosmic shift happen with them. In Sephiroth's experience, very few of them actually did. 

His ascension to First Class twelve years ago had been one marred by the company theatrics, trying to make sure he was on every paper the following morning and talked about – and more annoyingly talked to – the rest of the night. It seemed impossible now that he'd gone through the night and a few after it before he had so much as met Genesis and Angeal, especially when they had been in the building as cadets at the time. The end of the Wutai war seemed like the sort of thing that ought to have felt important after nine years there, but it had taken half a day for the official surrender to come through and another month to get their people accounted for. None of them had attended the official signing, as Angeal had barely been back in Midgar for a few days before he had left with Zack, he'd spent far longer in the labs for a full work up as it had been over a year since he was last put through his paces and inviting Genesis to peace talks was likely to turn them back into war talks. 

No, hadn't that been around the time his infrequent migraines had started? They happened only once every few months, but he tended to want to just lay face down somewhere dark until they went away. Angeal had been prodding him for a while to bring it up on his physical evaluations, but Genesis had brushed it off as the inherent stress of dealing with Third classes and they were usually gone by morning if he slept enough. It was their rule not to involve medical unless absolutely necessary and what he referred to as a headache with delusions of grandeur did not count. A decision he must now be extremely relieved about.

The point being that running through the President, a man who he had been performing for and reporting to for twenty years or so, one that had left a lasting impact on most people on the planet in one way or another, should have felt much more monumental than it did. It was almost laughable that he thought he could argue his point and Sephiroth had actually struggled no to smile at the ridiculous man drawing a gun on him of all people. All he had to do was stand down, but he'd always been greedy and ultimately, it made for a cleaner break to kill him.

When Tseng had met him at the door, he had dropped the gun into his hand. “When the President is ready to be more co-operative than his father was, he may contact me.” It wasn't likely they would ever return as SOLDIERs, there was too much history here now, but they had an obligation to the rest of SOLDIER to make sure they were treated well. It may still come down to dismantling the company, but given the reliance of the planet of much of Shinra's systems, it wasn't a mess they were ready to deal with yet. They needed time to regroup and Rufus Shinra had time to decide whether or not he wanted to end up like his father.

It had felt more of a shift to see a sword Angeal almost never drew in his hand and clearly used. Even as he had somehow managed to look worse than he had before they left, at least his autopilot was working enough that they got out to the waiting non-descript van he had chosen in the garage without much trouble but something still felt off kilter. It was unlikely the army would give chase. At this point, it would be suicide but he couldn't rule it out. Heidegger wasn't known for his common sense. 

What SOLDIER would do was unclear. Loyalty was not as clear cut as it once seemed.

Sephiroth took the drivers seat both because he had experienced Genesis's driving and because if Angeal hit his limit on the way down below plate, Genesis would be able to handle that more easily than he would. It had been a long time since Angeal had struggled this much, if he ever had, and he simply didn't have the experience. They had still been new friends when his father had died and his understanding lacked nuance. A glance into the mirror saw Genesis had moved to sit beside him, pressing his head against Angeal's own as he sat hunched with his eyes closed. Whether the pink tinge to his skin was sadness, anger or maybe embarrassment was unclear but Genesis was mostly speaking nonsense platitudes quietly and maybe it would help. Sephiroth forced himself to look back at the road, but there was a dull ache in his chest that didn't seem like it had a physical cause considering the few scrapes he could feel were no where near there.

Perhaps it was a good thing no one gave chase, since he startled when Genesis climbed from the back into the other front seat and tucked one leg underneath himself. A glance saw Angeal was lying down, but there was a tinge of something to the air that made him think that it hadn't been entirely voluntary.

“He won't thank you for that,” Sephiroth told him quietly.

“He doesn't have to,” Genesis replied. “I would take anger over this.”

So would he. He knew what to do with anger. This seemed more like loss and the only experiences he had with it happened when he was very small and what he remembered of it, he had reacted far more on the violent scale than the withdrawn one. Despite Genesis's assertions otherwise, obedience had not come easily.

His PHS made a noise and with his usual lack of respect for personal boundaries, Genesis fished into his pocket for it. “Cloud?”

“Yes,” Genesis said, beginning to text back rapidly. “He's asking to delay the meeting.”

“What'?” Sephiroth asked. “Why?”

“There's someone from his home town in Sector 7,” Genesis said. “Oh, it's the girl from the coma.”

“The what?” Sephiroth was starting to think he had missed a conversation. 

“There was a girl from his home town who fell into as coma when they were young,” Genesis replied. “The only other person I believe he has ever referred to on good terms.”

That part sounded familiar at least. “Why is she here?”

“I'm getting to it!” Genesis huffed. Then he went silent for entirely too long.

“Genesis,” Sephiroth said, prompting him.

“It appears Zack needs more dodging practice, there's a bullet embedded in his shoulder.” Genesis was already replying. “He's conscious and chatty. We'll deal with it when we get there.”

“All the more reason to meet up quickly,” Sephiroth reasoned. “Why does he want to delay?”

For someone who texted quickly, answers seemed to come entirely too slowly. While he understood Cloud wanted to catch up with an old friend, he could contact that friend at a later date when they weren't dealing with all of this.

Beside him, there was a sharp intake of breath though whether that was from Cloud's reasoning or Genesis's need to be dramatic at every turn, who's to say?

“The labs,” Genesis said. “Someone else got out.”

Another survivor of the tests? “That's too convenient,” Sephiroth replied. Another person survives the survivable and not only escapes to the exact sector that Cloud and Zack went to, they know someone from Cloud's hometown? “It's a trap.”

“Of course it's a trap,” Genesis replied. “That's why we're meeting him there.”

“You'd better wake Angeal up,” Sephiroth told him. As much as he didn't want to put him in combat situation, he would be upset if they kept Zack's injury from him.

“When we get closer,” Genesis said. “Let him rest. I doubt he'll drop his guard long enough for me to do it again any time soon.”

“Are you tired?” Perhaps he wanted to rest as well.

“No,” Genesis replied. “I'm entirely too wound up for sleep. It really was quite a beautiful explosion. I wish you could have seen it.”

“There'll be others,” Sephiroth replied. They still had Hojo to deal with, didn't they? A thought that rested uncomfortably in his gut, but whether that was anticipation or something else, he wasn't sure.

“I'll make sure of it,” Genesis said. 

Sephiroth did not doubt him. 

As suspected, Angeal had snapped at Genesis almost immediately upon realising what he had done that he'd had enough people messing about with his person without his consent without adding them to it. It was the type of accusation that absolutely would have resulted in a truly epic sulk, so he had been taken aback when Genesis had simply picked up his bag, told him Zack needed a bullet removed from his shoulder so they needed to hurry up in case they had to reopen the wound entirely to do so. It had worked in that Angeal almost immediately deflated, but Sephiroth wasn't sure anguish was better than anger or withdrawing.

The address that Genesis had eventually wrangled from Cloud was a dive bar in Sector 7. There were still a surprising amount of people on the streets, but it's likely the patrols had passed through already and moved onto another sector. They would need to change clothes as soon as it was safe to do so, even they could disappear into a crowd with the right measures taken but they needed the armour that their uniforms afforded them right now.

Angeal moved suddenly and quickly, passing him to go in first. Zack's injuries may have spurred him into action and that was why Genesis had said it to begin with.

Inside, Cloud stood as they entered but Angeal as expected had gone straight to Zack who was dabbing at his shoulder with bloody cloth. Aside from that, they looked little worse for wear. 

“You didn't have to come here,” Cloud said.

Genesis going over to see him wasn't a surprise, to say he had gotten attached would be a severe understatement. He couldn't fault it either, given the way a feeling he realised had been anxiety evaporated upon seeing they were fine for the most part. 

“Do you not think we want to know if there are others too?” Genesis asked him.

What was a surprise, both to him and apparently Cloud from his expression, was the light kiss he pressed to his lips. It was something they did in private, but not in public. Genesis must have seen it too because he glanced back at Sephiroth.

“It's not as if we had a public relations office to answer to anymore, is it?” he said. “Aren't you done hiding?”

Which was...accurate. The idea made him feel lightheaded, that he wouldn't have to wonder if a touch was too intimate in public, that they could choose whether or not they were public with their relationship and how much of it. He wasn't a tactile person by nature, touch didn't have a particularly soothing association for him unless it came from a very select few people but it did point out there wasn't anyone to answer to. They had resigned emphatically and where there was a slight panic to the idea of no longer having a rank and title in the place he had repeatedly been told he could only belong, it was overridden the idea of possibilities. He didn't want to be idle, but that wasn't going to be a problem. They still had to figure out what to do about the remaining SOLDIERs, the company itself, find somewhere safe enough to be defensible in the short term but also appropriate for a potential civilian.

Sephiroth had never lived with a civilian before, let alone someone he was involved with's mother. He had met Genesis's briefly after he was promoted to First Class, but that had been a couple of years before they became romantically involved and it had caused friction between them he still didn't fully understand beyond the general statement that his parents tended to make him a little neurotic at the best of times. He didn't suppose it mattered now, since Genesis had decided that he didn't want to keep up a 'pretense of family' with them at all.

“Really close, huh?” The woman, undoubtedly Cloud's friend from home, was a dark haired girl in a sleeveless top and skirt. She looked of a similar age to Cloud, but where Cloud always looked ready to fight the world at any given opportunity, she seemed more hesitant.

That could have something to do with a group of SOLDIER First classes descending on her at three in the morning without warning.

Even Cloud's ears were going pink. “I'm not even going to try and explain.”

“I'm not sure you need to after that,” she said. 

“Can we talk about something else?” Cloud huffed, ducking his head to perhaps hide the fact he was smiling. 

“An introduction would be nice,” she asked.

“Shit, yes, sorry,” Cloud said. “This is Tifa Lockhart, she was a neighbor when I was kid.”

“What brings you to Midgar, Miss Lockhart?” Genesis asked. It was a measured response, so he too thought this could still be a trap.

“I was studying martial arts,” Lockhart replied. “So I...came here/” 

“You can tell them the real story,” Cloud said. “They'll get it.”

“The real story?” Genesis asked.

“That Midgar isn't the only place Shinra set up shop and people started to disappear,” Cloud replied. “It's been happening back home.”

That wasn't ideal. It meant that Shinra already had a base of operations there and they were bound to be too late if Shinra chose to use Cloud's mother as leverage against him. They couldn't afford to be waiting around. They needed to leave. 

“Was there also an increase in unidentified monsters?” he asked. It would be an indicator that the Shinra base was or had been recently active. 

The woman opened her mouth slightly, “How did you know that?”

“How are those odds on me growing scales again?” Cloud asked.

“Given you have not yet, low.” Genesis had reached for his hand, holding it tightly. “But if Shinra are already there, we cannot afford to waste time. We have to patch Zack up and go, now.”

“Cloud?” Lockhart's pitch had gotten a little higher.

“It's a long story,” Cloud said. “I don't really want to tell it twice. Maybe we could patch Zack up here. Can we use the bathroom?”

“Okay,” Tifa gestured vaguely. “Yes, of course, sorry. I wasn't thinking straight.”

“I wouldn't worry too much about it,” Genesis declared letting Cloud's hand drop. “I haven't had a straight thought in twenty years and it's never done me any harm.”

“Debatable,” Sephiroth said.

Zack laughed, then swore loudly. “Ouch.”

“How did you get shot with a bullet at this angle?” Angeal had been trying his best to get a better look at the wound, not in the mindset for idle chatter but he was clearly having trouble even before Zack had moved while laughing. “Were they directly above you?”

“Nope!” Zack said. “I laid back to hit the rims.”

“You laid back,” Angeal repeated.

“Yep,” Zack said.

“On what?” Angeal asked.

“They used a motorcycle,” Sephiroth input.

“You lay down on a moving motorcycle?” Angeal asked. “How did you not fall off?”

“My mad skills,” Zack said.

Angeal took a deep shuddering breath and for a moment, it looked as if he might launch into a lecture. It was worse when he didn't.

“We can agree on the mad part,” Angeal stood back, hitting Zack on his thigh. “Get up, I need better light.”

“Do you want help?” Sephiroth asked. Angeal's hands were not at their most steady, but given Zack wasn't easily kept still, he wasn't sure it would matter.

“I'm still capable of doing some things by myself,” Angeal said, herding Zack towards the door. 

“Thanks Tifa!” Zack called.

“Angeal usually is the most well-mannered,” Genesis offered by explanation as the door shut. “But it has been a very trying day.”

“You said there was an escapee here,” Sephiroth said, looking to Lockhart. “Was that true?”

The woman hesitated, then nodded. “She should be here soon,” she said. “She has to shake her tails first.”

“Tails?” Sephiroth asked.

“The people in suits,” Lockhart replied.

Sephiroth looked to Genesis and Cloud, the latter of which nodded. _Turks._ That lent a little legitimacy to the story if nothing else did. If they knew where she was, why not bring her in? Then again, if Hollander's story was to be believed, then Angeal and Genesis had come to Shinra of their own accord and their project seemed to still when they were both babies. What was the difference? Why was he always the different story?

“How do you know her?” Genesis asked.

“She volunteers to help at the orphanage in Sector 5,” Tifa replied. “So do a few friends of mine.”

There was a shuffling noise outside. It didn't sound like a patrol of troopers, but it could easily be someone ready to take their current mode of transport as much as anything. Sephiroth placed a finger to his mouth and looked out the door only to come face to face – chest to face technically – with a woman with a pink ribbon in her hair.

Then she looked up at him and cocked her head to one side. “You're very tall,” she said, as if this was somehow new information to him.

“Yes,” he agreed, because he was very tall.

“Bit of warning would have been nice, Tif!” The woman called around him. 

“Sorry!” Lockhart said. “It was all last minute.”

“A likely story!” The woman replied, before dropping to a conspirational tone. “You're staring.”

Was he? Yes, he supposed he had been standing in one place and looking at her which could constitute staring so he took a step to the side to allow the woman to enter. There was just something about her that felt for lack of a better term, familiar.

“You were a lab escapee?” Sephiroth blurted out. 

The woman looked at him and smiled in a way that didn't really seem like a smile at all. “Straight in with the heavy stuff, huh?”

“We're in a bit of a time crunch,” Genesis added. “Miss?”

“I'm Aerith,” she replied, glancing over to Cloud. “You're Cloud?”

“Yeah,” Cloud said. 

“You look pretty good for someone who just busted their way out of a Shinra lab,” Aerith replied. 

“I had help,” Cloud said. 

“So I see,” Aerith said. 

“You look quite unscathed for a former lab rat yourself,” Genesis told her coolly.

“That's because I wasn't one,” Aerith replied, looking around to him. “My mom – my birth mom was experimented on, not me.”

“Oh, we could set up a club for that at this rate,” Genesis replied. It was surprising that it came out so casually. It wasn't something they had really talked about as yet, the odd similarity between the prenatal nature of the experimentation in both of them but the lack of reported prenatal experimentation in Angeal, but that did mean they knew for certain their birth mothers had both been subject to experimentation. What exactly were they trying to do? “Your mother, but not you?”

“Nope,” the woman – Aerith – replied. “I'm an 'inferior subject' in comparison.”

That wording sounded all too familiar. “Hojo?”

Aerith looked to him, staring herself for a long moment before nodding slowly. “I don't remember a lot,” she admitted softly. “But I do remember him.”

“He has that effect on people,” Sephiroth replied. 

Aerith nodded, looking to Cloud. “You too?”

“Yeah,” Cloud admitted, giving a half hearted wave. “Another inferior specimen.”

“He was wrong,” Sephiroth reminded him. It had been that arrogance that had ended up saving Cloud from – whatever he wanted from him. While Cloud had improved impressively, he was not on the same level asSephiroth and he doubted he would be after one night. 

“There's still time,” Cloud muttered, “It's only been a couple of weeks.”

“Considering the cocktail you've been exposed to, feline attributes are more likely.” Genesis looked over him considering. “Perhaps if vacuum cleaners begin to fill you with terror.”

“If you try to use a vacuum cleaner on me,” Cloud warned. “It's you that's getting terrorised with it.”

“Cloud?” Lockhart sounded unsure. “What is there still time for?”

This was going to be a difficult thing to explain in any great detail without context.

“The head of Shinra's Science department has been trying out a new SOLDIER creation mix and it's been turning people into monsters,” Cloud said concisely. “I had a dose of it, but nothing's really happened to me yet.”

"Aside from the coma," Genesis corrected.

"You were in a coma?" Tifa came out to stand by Cloud. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good," Cloud said. "Really, as long as I don't start turning into something else."

“I doubt it will,” Sephiroth replied. “You've responded differently.”

“Lucky me,” Cloud replied.

“Is that what you think is happening back home?” Tifa asked, her breathing beginning to kick up. “Why would they try to make SOLDIERs out of townspeople?”

“They wouldn't,” Sephiroth replied. “It's more likely they are testing if it's fatal, side effects and on successful candidates, dissection for further testing. The town is remote, it would make it easier.”

Lockhart paled, “ _Dissected?_ ”

“Victims,” Cloud corrected. “Not candidates. They didn't sign up for it.”

“Yes,” Sephiroth nodded. Victim was a loaded term, but he wasn't about to argue it here with him. He suspected this was a title being applied to other people and not Cloud himself, since he had an obvious distaste for being seen that way. It was understandable.

Sephiroth was broken out of his line of thought by Aerith returning the favour and looking him over studiously. “May I be of some assistance?”

“You're just not what I thought you'd be,” Aerith shrugged. 

It was not the first time he'd been told that. The image that Shinra's PR put forth was not exactly one he could emulate for long and his acting skills had been denounced as 'community theatre-esque' by their resident critic. From context, he assumed that meant 'bad'. “What were you imagining?”

“I don't know,” Aerith laughed, high and light. “That's silly, isn't it? How can someone be different to what you imagined if you don't know what you imagined?”

“Yes,” he said. 

Aerith smiled at him, “Then I guess I'm just silly.”

“How long have you had the Turks following you?” Genesis asked, pulling them back to the topic abruptly. 

“A long time,” Aerith admitted. “Mom – my real Mom – she escaped once before so when she saw a chance, she ran with me. We got as far as the station but she was really badly hurt. She stayed with me just long enough for someone to try to help and when she couldn't, the woman took me in and took care of me. Even when the Turks come, she still tries.”

“But they've never forcibly retrieved you?” Sephiroth asked.

Aerith shook her head, “Inferior specimen, remember? I'm not worth it.”

Somehow, Sephiroth doubted that. It was more likely there was a hidden reason whys he had not been retrieved but if it had come from the President, there was a chance it would no longer be in effect under Rufus Shinra.

“That was why... _we_....were 'on hold',” Genesis said, quietly. “Apparently Gillian tried to run too.”

“I don't know who that is,” Aerith said uncertainly.

“Gillian is the mother of – our partner,” Even in the circumstances, there was something about being able to say that openly that felt strangely liberating. “She worked for Shinra's Science department.”

“Oh,” Aerith said, looking no more enlightened from the information. “So did my father.”

“ _Goddess,_ ” Genesis huffed. “For a bunch of people with a university education and loose morals, you'd think one of them would know how to use birth control effectively.”

“Does he still work there?” Did he still work there would be more accurate given what was left of the Science department, unless he worked at a different base.

Aerith shook her head, “No, he was killed when I was baby. I don't remember him.”

Given that she looked a little younger than him, it was possible he might. “Do you remember his name?”

“Gast Faremis,” Aerith said, “He was a –“

Genesis snorted. “Of course it was.”

Whether she stopped due to difficulty of subject or because Genesis as per usual couldn't resist commenting was unclear. What was clear was that this could explain why she looked familiar. Perhaps she looked like her father, though admittedly his memory of him had faded some over the years since his 'disappearance'. Or since it had now been confirmed, death.

“Genesis,” he said, in as close to the warning tone that Angeal used that at least seemed to work occasionally.

“Oh, come _on_ , if we have learned nothing else today, it's that _everything_ to do with the Science department is fucked up,” Genesis told him. “This is just the icing on that hell of a cake.”

“You knew him?” Aerith asked. She sounded strange.

Sephiroth nodded, “I did. I liked him – do not bring your commentary here, it isn't welcome.”

“It's never stopped me before,” Genesis told him. 

“Okay, I'm missing something,” Aerith said, more firmly this time. “What is it?” 

“Your father was around a lot when I was very young,” Sephiroth told her. It was an understatement of the feeling involved, but the only physical representation of it was a page hastily ripped from a book he had been forced to surrender some time after Gast's death. If it had been him and it was his mother, he knew that he would want it but he was selfish. He wanted it. He could live with being selfish. “He was a decent man.”

“Mom thought so,” she said. “He helped bust her out the first time but they caught up to us when I was a baby.”

That left something else, something bitter tasting that sat uncomfortably inside him that he didn't like. How did people function all day long with emotions coming along and knocking them sideways like this constantly? 

“So why does it feel like I just walked in on something?” Aerith asked.

“Genesis is judgmental,” Sephiroth said, by way of explanation.

“This goes far beyond my judgmental nature,” Genesis replied. “You're telling me that this man, who was in charge of the Science Department and thus had to have at the very least signed off on taking in this woman's mother to Shinra's Science department in a way that I would assume to be _against her will_ and remained complicit in keeping her there, ran off with her and then in what I can only imagine to be a murky at best consent situation, had a child with her?”

“That was pretty judgey,” Aerith said softly.

“No, that was a summation of events,” Genesis said. “'Judgey' would be condemning the man for being willing to die to prevent his own child being subjected to a similar treatment that he had already been putting a child through and promptly abandoned to run off and have a child of his own. It would at least indicate he knew it was wrong and made no attempt at recompense.”

That sat like lead in his stomach.

“He owed me nothing,” he said. “It's different.”

“No, it isn't,” Genesis sat down on one of the rickety wooden picnic tables. “If you take an active role in raising a child, you owe them the best you can give them and that is so very much less than he was apparently capable of. If nothing else gets through your extraordinarily thick skull from this, at least acknowledge that you're owed something more than the human rights abuse that was your childhood from the people who took part in it.”

“I'm not expecting you to tell me he was perfect,” Aerith cut through the tension.“I know it's a lot more complicated than that. I'm just...still trying to figure out what it means to be me, you know?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth said quietly. 

The scant information he did have raised more questions than it answered and the hunger to know more was barely quenched by what they now knew. If Gast had left with Aerith's mother, perhaps he had cared for her, loved her, which seemed marginally better than what had happened with Angeal if his mother had attempted to flee and considering the tone of the message from Hollander to her. He wasn't so naïve as to think Hojo would ever care for another person, but he had a certain popularity with women the few times he had seen him socialise which begged belief. It wasn't out of the question his existence was...not purely manufactured. It shouldn't matter, it was in the past and regardless of how he came into being, he was here.

Except that it did matter somehow in a way he couldn't quite grasp.

It took an embarrassingly long moment to realise she was staring at him again.

“Definitely not what I expected,” she said, quietly.

“I don't know if that's a good thing or not,” he admitted.

“Good thing,” Aerith said, and for some unfathomable reason, she surged forward and he managed to stop himself grasping for his sword just in time to get squeezed around his middle. “Really good thing.”

Gods, what was he meant to do with his hands when she was this so tiny? At least with Cloud, they had been lying down and he'd been able to tuck him under chin in a way that fit comfortable and let him feel the reassuring, light flutters of his eyelashes on his skin in a way that definitely wouldn't work if they were standing. He pulled his arm back so he could pat the ribbon on her hair lightly.

There was a crack of laugher from Genesis, so he glared at him until it became obvious having Aerith attached to his lower half was diminishing his ability to look threatening. Not that looking threatening had ever actually worked with Genesis, but it wasn't helping.

“We must teach you how to hug properly,” Genesis sighed far more loudly than the situation warranted. “How are you this awful at it?”

“Ask Zack,” Cloud said. “He doesn't so much hug as he just attaches himself to you and no matter what you do, you can't get him off.”

“I don't know about that,” Genesis drawled. “The noise coming out of him on Saturday from your squirming away sounded like he was getting close to getting off.”

“Hey!” came the noise from the bathroom.

The noise seemed to startle Aerith into letting go.

“Your plumbing's learned to talk?” she asked Tifa.

“I knew he was listening in!” Genesis said. 

“You're not exactly quiet, are you?” Cloud replied.

“Beside the point entirely,” Genesis replied.

“Zack!” Angeal's voice raised suddenly and there was the sound of a brief scuffle. “I told you that would happen. One of these days, you're going to listen to me.”

Sephiroth looked to Genesis, who smiled at him. “I didn't think I'd ever feel so relieved to hear the lecture tone,” he said, fondly.

Sephiroth merely nodded. If he was feeling up to lecturing, it seemed like perhaps somehow Angeal would eventually feel like himself again and this would pass, one way or another.

Zack appeared around the door, looking more than a little sheepish but his wound had now been covered by gauze and Angeal looked as if he'd cleaned up a little himself. If he had enough presence of mind for that, all the better.

“Hi!” Zack said. “Aerith, right?”

“Yep,” she said. “Good eavesdropping skills.”

“Ex-occupational hazard,” he said. “Are we going?”

“If there is a Shinra base already there, it would be better to get there sooner rather than later,” Genesis said, standing up. "This may turn into an extraction."

“Wait!” Lockhart exclaimed. “This guy, the one hurt you, you think he could be back home?”

"Maybe," Cloud said. "You said he wasn't in the labs?"

“He isn't in Midgar,” Genesis said. “Unless he went to Junon for some reason, his whereabouts are unknown.”

“But he could be,” Lockhart pressed her lips together. “Cloud, my Dad's still there.”

“I'll make sure he leaves,” Cloud promised. “I'm not fourteen anymore, I can drag him if I have to.”

“You won't have to,” Lockhart said. “I'm going with you.”

“Miss Lockhart –“ Sephiroth began. They didn't have any contingencies for that.

“No,” Lockhart replied, managing to sound far more steady than he thought her racing heart would allow. “It's my home, my family and my friends. They'll listen to me.”

“Cloud will also be there,” he said.

“They're not going to listen to me,” Cloud snorted. “Mom will, but anyone else, it's a toss up. They hate me.”

“They don't _hate_ –“ Lockhart started.

“They do,” Cloud said bluntly, cutting her off. “If anyone knows where to find some secret Shinra base, it's Tifa.”

“It's not much of a secret,” Lockhart said. “People started going into the old Shinra mansion.”

That had been earmarked as a potential location for trouble back when they had been looking for the best way to dismantle any further testing. That Hojo had left abruptly and there was ongoing use in Cloud's home town meant it was likely an ambush waiting to happen.

“It will be dangerous,” Sephiroth told her. “Come if you wish, but you will be expected to keep up.”

“I'll keep up,” Lockhart said, as though this were a certainty. Perhaps blind determination was a common Nibelheim trait. “Let Biggs know?”

Aerrith nodded. “You better be coming back.”

“I will,” Tifa said. “As soon as I know Dad's safe. Call me if something comes up?”

Aerith nodded, then turned to him and poked him hard enough he felt her nail. “That goes for you too,” she said. “You owe me some stories.”

Sephiroth supposed that was true, so he merely nodded.

“So Tifa,” Zack said, elongating the womans name as she handed over a set of keys to Aerith. “Does that mean you have embarrassing kid stories about Cloud?”

“No,” Cloud said firmly. “She doesn't.”

“Maybe one or two?” Lockhart offered, as Zack's irrepressible grin grew.

As they began to file out into the night, Aerith's hand on his arm made Sephiroth pause and lag behind the others.

“Be careful,” she said.

“I'm extremely capable,” Sephiroth said. “I'm unlikely to be injured.”

“Not every enemy is going to come at you with a sword,” Aerith said. “Be careful. Promise me.”

“If you will do the same," Sephiroth replied. "We will meet again."

"I know," Aerith said, but she looked unsure of it.

With that ominous warning, Sephiroth hurried back up to the group where Tifa Lockhart was describing Cloud's long teenage hair while Cloud hid his face between his hands. He exchanged a brief but heartening smile with Angeal who slid into the front seat beside him.

"Are you all right?" he asked softly while everyone got situated.

"I don't know how to answer that yet," Angeal said. 

Sephiroth nodded, "We don't have to talk," he said. "But we can if you want."

"Not right now," Angeal said. "I'd just like to sit here with you."

Sephiroth felt some of the pressure in his chest loosen unexpectedly. "We will leave the children to their chatter, then."

"I heard that!" Genesis declared loudly. "Kindly remember that I'm older than both of you."

"That's why he's going grey," Zack said, leaning against Cloud with a wince. If that had not healed by the time they bunked down, he would ask Genesis to heal it if he didn't volunteer to. 

Starting up the engine to the sounds of bickering, it didn't feel like a monumental moment exactly but it felt important. They were leaving parts of themselves behind to go and do something he had never truly thought about, not in any serious way but whatever lay ahead felt new and different and more than a little bit exciting because of that. It didn't matter if Shinra attempted to do damage control, everyone had to have seen the smoke by now and in the morning, there would be no press conferences, no fan club updates, no mission briefings, no scalpels and no leaked conversations or footage to contend with. Instead they could eat together, he could continue to push Cloud's skills to help him improve and they would figure out their next steps together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, we went back to Sephiroth's POV because it made more sense for him for this chapter so it might be a few POVs close together and further apart as plot demands for the next arc. I also just want to take a minute to say thank you to everyone who took the time to comment, kudos, bookmark and squeal with me about this fic because I have never had a fic reach even close to 1k kudos before and that feels pretty damn great because while I would probably still be screaming about these idiots, at least I have good company for it.


	27. Chapter 27

“Uugggh.”

Zack fought the urge to laugh as Cloud, pale and laying down flat in the back of the truck, groaned loudly. Zack abandoned Tifa to go lay down with him so didn't feel like he was by himself on the floor, but it didn't stop it being a little funny that after all this, the only thing that can keep Cloud down for long was motion sickness. It wasn't the first time he'd seen it, but he had forgotten how bad it got. It hadn't been a problem on the bike, but it had taken less than an hour for him to look green around the gills in the back of the truck and only a little more than that for him to try laying down flat to see it it would help.

They had talked briefly about whether to go to one of the villages to wash up and rest, but staying overnight in places would both draw attention and slow them down. It was better to keep moving for as long as they could without stopping. They'd all have to stop on the boat anyway and losing their transport would slow them down.

Oh man! If Cloud was like this from the truck, what was he going to be like on a _boat_?

Zack reached over to give him his water bottle from his bag, but Cloud shook his head and groaned again. “It'll come back up,” he whined. It really was a whine, which was kind of cute from someone who rarely complained about anything that made him uncomfortable.

“You have an enhanced metabolism to maintain,” Zack told him, giving the water another shove towards him. “Just try.”

Cloud glared him down for a long moment, but relented and took a few hesitant sips. There was a bump on the road – they were taking the dirt roads instead of the motorway to avoid Shinra for now – and when Cloud pushed the bottle back into his hands a little harder than he expected, he couldn't help but hiss from his still healing shoulder as he fell back against the moving floor.

“Sorry,” Cloud winced.

It wasn't his fault, he was still underestimating his own strength. What they had figured out was that his senses might even be more keen than Zack's, but whether that was just a weird fluke or something to worry about, they couldn't figure out and it was the kind of stuff that kept him up at night thinking about. What didn't they know right now? Was there something they should be doing to try and help him? He hated not feeling like they could trust someone enough to tell them what was going on with him.

“I want to take a look at that when we stop,” Genesis said his spot behind the front seats. Zack had thought he was taking a nap or something from the fact he was laying back against the side wall with his eyes shut, but maybe he didn't like the movement either. Usually he'd have a book out if he was idle as long as this.

“It's okay,” Zack said. It had just been really uncomfortable to get out and while the dull ache had gone, if he moved in the wrong way, the pressure was uncomfortable. It wasn't sore exactly.

“I'll be the judge of that,” Genesis told him. “We can ill afford anyone getting sick right now.”

“I think Cloudy has that covered,” Zack said, patting Cloud on his chest.

Cloud put his arm across his forehead and groaned again, “No one talk about being sick right now!”

The army, evil scientists, weird experiments and listening to _Loveless_ on repeat were fine, but this turned him into the biggest drama queen in the truck and considering who else was in it, that was saying something.

* * *

“You didn't have to do that,” Zack sighed. There was no need to expend energy on healing him when he would be fine in a day or two but trying to get Genesis to listen to him went about as well as it ever did. He'd have better luck talking to a brick wall. “Aren't we meant to be conserving strength?”

“If you're going to be part of the guard duty roster, you're not doing it at anything less than your best,” Genesis told him, tapping his finger underneath Zack's chin. They were only stopping for long enough to eat and get four hours of rest before moving on. They wanted to be Junon after dark and it was going to be a hard push. “Besides which, I won't sleep if you keep fidgeting with it and I'm unpleasant when I'm sleep deprived.”

“You must be sleep deprived a lot,” Zack told him. That was a little mean, he had a right to be feeling grumpy but things were looking up! They made great time, no more Shinra run ins, minimal monster issues – meaning they looked at Sephiroth and ran, which he lamented not being able to do with fan clubs. It'd been a while since Zack had seen him in action and being able to take out multiple targets without stopping his stride was both terrifying but also reminded him that yes, he was actually really hot. 

“Remind me to help you practice dodging,” Genesis told him. “If you can't handle the army, you're hopeless.”

“Cloud was army,” Zack said defensively.

“Cloud is exceptional,” Genesis said, which yeah, okay, he is. “Your average grunt is a creature looking for the fastest way to get themselves killed.”

“Pretty sure a lot of them would say the same about what we're doing,” Zack said. Maybe not, Sephiroth had kind of a reputation for being able to pull off the impossible and it still all felt a bit impossible. “But we're all going to be okay, right?”

“You're asking me?” Genesis asked. “I'm far too cynical for blind platitudes, puppy.”

“Yeah, but you think everything is part of some grand destiny,” Zack pointed out. “Doesn't that mean you wouldn't do it if you didn't think we'd win?”

“There are no winners here,” Genesis said, sighing deeply. “Destiny always requires sacrifice. We can only hope sacrificing who we were for who will become is enough to appease the arbiters of fate.”

“Would you really give up the memory of blowing up that lab?” Zack asked. “Even if fate said you had to?”

Genesis grinned, sharp and brief. “No,” he said. “Fuck them. If they decide to continue on with their gross violations, at least this can slow them down enough we can catch our breath.”

“That's the spirit!” Zack smiled back. It was hard to think about the friends he'd made still being at Shinra, but if Kunsel warned him, they were probably in good hands. Unless they realised how good Kunsel actually was...“There's always hope.”

“Yes,” Genesis said distractedly.

Zack followed his eye line, looking across their little makeshift camp to where Tifa and Angeal were talking about cooking over MRE's and he got it, it was nice to see him just chatting after how withdrawn he'd been all day. He looked tired and Tifa was definitely carrying the conversation, but it was still a great sign.

“Everything'll work out,” Zack said, feeling bolstered by the sight. “You'll see.”

* * *

It was weirdly easy to get onto the boat. Like, stupidly easy. If people were that fine with taking bribes, shouldn't there be something done about it? Or did Shinra just not care that much? It had made him realise he didn't know exactly what to do about gil outside of the ATMs in Midgar, but once they got reception for the PHS, Genesis walked him through moving money from one account to another.

“How do you know how to do this stuff?” Zack asked.

“I keep finances separate according to use,” Genesis explained. “My – for lack of a better term at the moment – father does it with business management for things like salaries, rent, etc. so they don't require going into personal funds and for contingencies if you die suddenly.”

“That's morbid,” Zack said. 

“It's practical,” Genesis told him. “I wanted something away from Shinra because I didn't want them to profit from my potential death more than necessary.”

“I don't get it,” Zack said, quietly. “If you hated the company that much, I don't get why you stayed.”

“Moral upstanding has never been my strong suit,” Genesis told him lightly. “I suppose I thought things would be different in First and by then, it would have meant leaving someone I love behind.”

“I think Angeal would have gone with you,” Zack said. "If you asked."

“I don't mean Angeal,” Genesis told him. “I know we can be tempestuous at times but I love Sephiroth no more and no less than Angeal. I would not leave him to deal with it unless there were no choice but to do so.”

"You don't think Sephiroth would?" Zack asked. He had come with them, hadn't he?

"Our relationship can be," Genesis glanced down. "Complicated, sometimes. Love does not make things less complicated."

“I just hear you say it a lot more to Angeal,” Zack said quietly. “I love you, I mean.”

“Because Angeal likes talking, he must to love you or I,” Genesis said. Angeal hadn't really said it to him with that context – had he been talking about it? Was it selfish to hope for it with everything going on right now? “Saying it puts Sephiroth into a spot where he can try to reciprocate but it would be difficult for him to say it and it would be difficult for me not to hear it back. We've always communicated better through touch than words. You'll learn your own love language with him eventually.”

“Love's a big word,” Zack said. It wasn't that he wasn't getting there, but his romantic life had hit a few obstacles lately and they hadn't really had the time to figure things out one on one because they were doing a strength in numbers thing. Going out on a date was both not exactly on their minds and just logically, kind of hard. It was easier with Cloud and Angeal because they'd had time to adjust to things being romantic by themselves but at this point, he was pretty sure Cloud had gotten closer to developing some kind of a love language with Sephiroth than he had. 

“So is loyalty,” Genesis indicated their group. “Yet we are here, are we not?”

“Yeah, but...” Zack squirmed, even though he knew Sephiroth had gone up deck with Cloud to try and minimise his nausea with fresh air and left them to practical stuff. “We haven't really...done stuff yet.”

“Why not?” Genesis asked – kind of demanded, actually. “What's stopping you?”

“ _Me?_ ” Zack squawked, readjusting his volume from the glare he received. “I am not the only person involved. In this case, there's actually five people involved! Why is it up to me?”

“As a whole, it's not.” Genesis shrugged. “But with him? You have to just grab the bull by the horns – or in this case, the SOLDIER by his leathers – and go for it!”

“It feels like I'd be crossing a boundary or something,” Zack said. "He doesn't like people getting in his space."

“Then ask first,” Genesis rolled his eyes. “It's not complicated, puppy. He doesn't like to push too hard, too fast because he's not good at reading signs without practice. You have to learn to take the lead occasionally.”

The idea of Sephiroth being down with him taking the lead sounded ridiculous.

“It's different for you,” Zack said. “You're pushy.”

“Only because someone needs to be,” Genesis said. “I'm not saying strip down and jump on, we're a little busy right now, but you don't usually have much trouble going for what you want. If you can break down Cloud's walls, I have every confidence you'll be fine.”

“Cloud has walls, Sephiroth has blast doors.” Zack grimaced. “I know what Cloud's probably thinking because I just think of what way it reflects worst on him and that's going to be it so I can just pull him out of it. I don't know what Sephiroth's thinking.”

“So ask him,” Genesis said. “He won't take offense to it if that's what you're worried about, some of Angeal's potted plants have better sense of self than he does and as such, he just doesn't really get embarrassed or offended by this sort of thing. Or embarrassed by much at all. If you think he's hard to read, you should try dealing with someone who is rarely serious, socialises easily and never stops talking long enough to let a romantic moment happen. You're a menace.”

“I am?” Zack asked, unable to help the smile from forming.

“Oh, wipe that grin off your face,” Genesis groused. “You're intolerable. Goddess only knows why I like you.”

“But you do like me,” Zack said. “You _like me_ like me.”

“A myriad of lyrical vocabulary available to you for such a statement and you choose _like you_ , like you.” Genesis huffed at him. “Very well, yes, I _like you_ like you.”

Zack beamed, “I knew it!”

“I hate you.”

* * *

Everything slowed down once they were in Costa del Sol, both because they wanted to avoid port authorities and because they no longer had a mode of transport. 

At least they didn't until it turned out Tifa Lockhart, who looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, was a master criminal who could rewire a car if she was put on the spot. They had to promise Angeal they'd return it, since he had the Lecture Eyebrows engaged, but times were desperate, okay? It must have been good enough because he slid into the drivers seat, pointing out it was a relatively small car and there were six of them. As the broadest person, it made more sense for him to go in the front with Tifa, who knew the road and needed to see where they were going.

That left Zack in the back, which meant that the easiest way to fit everyone in was Cloud – being the smallest – on his lap. Except he absolutely didn't want to sit on his lap and there was no way they were all going to fit if he didn't. They already had to be careful with swords, especially Sephiroth's. It was Sephiroth himself that eventually put his foot down, pulling Cloud so he was siting sideways on his lap.

“I don't see why I have to do it,” Cloud grumbled. “I'm tired of being babied.”

“Sitting on a lap does not make you babied,” Sephiroth insisted. “Not being practical when we're in a hurry isn't option. Get over it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Cloud's bottom lip was almost jutting out, making it look kind of like he was pouting. So fucking cute. “No one's asking you to sit on their lap.”

“It happens sometimes,” Genesis said, exchanging a look with Sephiroth until the later looked away shaking his head. That either meant there was some kind of in joke or they had their minds in the gutter.

“If you don't do it, Genesis is the next smallest,” Sephiroth replied. “Do you really want to live in a world where Genesis is a better team player than you?”

That worked. Genesis even quickly stopped grumping about it to start tracing shapes, maybe words, into Cloud's legs which were draped over him so Zack could just see his feet. The urge to tickle rose, because he knew exactly how sensitive Cloud was and how easily he could make him squeal, but he was surprised when Genesis shifted and put his arm around his waist, pulling him closer.

“Get some rest,” he said. Neither of them really had rested much on the boat, so yeah, he was a little tired.

Except – 

Zack squirmed a little where his hand was on his bare skin. Why had he taken his gloves off? “Your hands are freezing!”

“Wait till it's his feet in the middle of the night,” Sephiroth added. 

“They're not that cold,” Cloud said. 

“Thank you,” Genesis said, patting his leg. “I'm glad someone is on my side.” 

“After nineteen years, I can confirm they are that cold,” Angeal told them, giving a heavy sigh.

“Eighteen,” Genesis corrected.

“April '86,” Angeal said. “It's July. Nineteen.”

“You're right,” Genesis said mildly. “Almost enough to make me feel old.”

“I wasn't even born by then,” Cloud said.

“I stand corrected. _That_ made feel old,” Genesis said, distaste obvious in his voice. “I thought you were nineteen.”

“Eighteen,” Cloud said. “Nineteen on the eleventh of next month.”

“Not exactly the birthday party I was going to throw you,” Zack said apologetically. He had wanted to make it special, thinking that Cloud would be in SOLDIER by then and they could have a real blow out. 

It was kind of weird to think that none of them were really in SOLDIER anymore.

“Seeing Mom and Tifa's better than one of those parties,” Cloud said. 

"Nice to see you too," Tifa called from the front seat.

“Last one didn't turn out so bad,” Zack said. 

“Besides which,” Genesis moved his hand, smoothing down the fabric by his back. “Angeal's is first.”

“Wait, really?” Zack tried to do a little mental math and yeah, right, of course! It was July. Shit, time really goes by when you're hiding out in the apartments. “We'll be in Nibelheim by then, right?”

“Hopefully, we will have left Nibelheim by then,” Sephiroth replied. “It depends on the level of trouble.”

“What do we do if we get there and we're too late?” Tifa asked from the front seat, turning around to look at them. 

“Then we will extract them,” Sephiroth replied. “We have undertaken many extractions over the years. It's more difficult but no more dangerous.”

“What happens if they kill them?” Shit, she sounded so worried.

“They will not,” Sephiroth replied.

“Are you sure?” Tifa asked.

Sephiroth nodded, “They would have little bargaining value dead. They are more valuable alive given Cloud's tendency to want to sacrifice himself for others.”

“Hey!” Cloud smacked his chest. “I'm not that bad.”

“Yeah, you are,” Zack said. Actually without the pauldrons or his cold hands, Genesis's shoulder was kind of comfy. 

Maybe just a quick nap?

* * *

The downside of said nap was that it kind of turned into a full sleep because no one woke him up. Zack must have been dead to the world because he woke up in one of tents later and it looked like it was pitch black outside. He counted both Cloud and Tifa snoozing nearby in sleeping bags, so he carefully unzipped and quietly slipped outside to find Sephiroth sitting by himself.

“I thought you said no one should do a watch by themselves,” Zack said, sitting down beside him. 

“Miss Lockhart is not enhanced,” Sephiroth replied. “It's better she rest.”

“You could have woken me,” Zack said. “I'm guessing Angeal put me to bed.”

Sephiroth nodded slightly. He figured, it was his superpower to put people to bed without waking them. If he could manage with Cloud, then he could probably manage with anyone. Angeal had done it with Zack a few times on missions bu at the time, he'd been grumpy about because he didn't like being babied any more than Cloud did.

“I guess you can't sleep properly if Tifa is there,” Zack said. Or not as well, at least. “How did you manage at the front?”

“I often had the command tent to myself,” Sephiroth replied. “When I did not, it was usually with Genesis, Angeal or both.”

“It helps when they're there?” Zack asked.

Sephiroth hesitated, then nodded.

“Maybe you'll feel the same way with me some day,” Zack said, then scrunched his face up. That sounded like he was blaming him and he didn't mean it that way.

“It takes time,” Sephiroth said. “You are also a noisy sleeper.”

“I am not!” Zack laughed. “Am I?”

“More so than I'm used to,” Sephiroth smiled at him. “You are loud in general.”

“I can't argue that,” Zack said sheepishly. “Does it bug you?”

“No,” Sephiroth replied. “It's...refreshing.”

“Yeah?” Zack smiled.

“'Yeah',” Sephiroth echoed, his intonation changing to what – playful? Silly? “I would not have agreed to this arrangement if I didn't find you attractive.”

“Oh,” Zack said, because it's not as if he actually said it or anything. “You get that I think you are too, right?”

“You have assured me multiple times you think I'm 'hot',” Sephiroth replied. “I take it you didn't mean my elevated body temperature.”

“No, I mean like –“ _Wait!_ Zack knew that smile, he'd seen him do it enough now. “You're messing with me!”

“Yes,” Sephiroth chuckled.

“You're such a troll,” Zack told him, shaking his head. 

Genesis's words came back into his head and well, it wasn't like they got a lot of quiet moments together, right? So he just moved over and hope he was telegraphing his movements enough he wasn't about to get hit. Zack kissed him lightly. It was more put his mouth on his lower lip than anything else but he wasn't sure if this was okay or not since Sephiroth responded by pulling away and putting his finger to his own lips. Maybe he should have asked first?

“We shouldn't do that,” Sephiroth said quietly.

Zack deflated. He knew that wouldn't work! “Too fast?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth replied. “We can try it again more slowly when we are not concerned with the safety of four other people.”

Oh. _Oh!_ Yeah, he could absolutely work with that!

“I will pencil you in for a slow make out session at some point,” Zack said, hoping he didn't sound _too_ relieved. “Maybe an actual date at some point when it doesn't feel like the world might end any minute.”

“My dating skills are rusty,” Sephiroth replied.

“Mine too,” Zack admitted. “Last time, me and Cloud ended up watching a movie on the couch with pizza.”

“I do like pizza,” Sephiroth mused.

“Okay, great!” Zack beamed. “Pizza and making out it is!”

All they had to do was make sure Cloud and Tifa's folks were okay, probably make sure his own weren't about to get dragged into this, deal with Shinra's evil science division and maybe just Shinra in general then they could have pizza and make out. 

Easy!

* * *

Zack's good mood persisted throughout the day and into the next.

When he saw Angeal taking care of his sword – not a euphemism, his actual sword – he went up behind him and put his arms around his neck. Angeal stopped long enough to pet his hands gently.

“Is Cloud back yet?” Angeal asked.

“Nope,” Zack said. When they stopped for briefer periods, someone usually walked around with Cloud till his nausea subsided enough to move on. This time, Genesis had decided to go walk with him while Tifa tried to explain the route so she could rest and Sephiroth could take over driving. “Want a hand?”

“No, thank you,” Angeal said. “You should treat your own. The closer we get to Nibelheim, the more likely it is we'll run into trouble.”

Zack reluctantly moved his arms so he could sit down and get to work as well. His sword was just 'borrowed' from Shinra, but he could work with it. Angeal wasn't wrong. They'd been lucky so far, everything had been quiet but the quiet was starting to get unnerving. 

“I'm sorry I dropped that bomb on you,” Zack said, after a long moment. The thought had been rattling around in his head for days, that maybe if he hadn't pushed Kunsel, they wouldn't have known. But maybe that was worse. Maybe they needed to know. 

Angeal's hand stilled, but he nodded. “It wasn't your fault,” Angeal said. “You didn't know. Perhaps I should have told you more about the realities of Shinra before.”

“Might have made it all less of a shock,” Zack admitted. “I'm not your mentee anymore, you know? You don't have to protect me.”

“You're my partner,” Angeal told him. “That still makes me want to protect you.”

“I guess so,” Zack said, trying not to show how happy hearing those exact words made him feel. It was like a pleasant tingle all over. “I think we've all had enough of secrets though. If there's anything else you want to get off your chest, now's a good time.”

Angeal looked down at his sword for a minute, “I took pictures of you drooling on Genesis's shoulder. If it helps, it was more for blackmailing him than you.”

Zack grinned, “I better work out how to get back at you then. “

“I'm sure you will,” Angeal told him lightly. “Watch what you're doing, I don't want you slicing your hand open.”

“Yes, sir,” Zack gave him a lazy salute and got to work.

* * *

They were two days travel to Nibelheim so they'd been trying to push through without stopping for long. They were just about handling the proximity, between stories of Nibelheim more from Tifa than Cloud and some stories about his own childhood too. No scary experimental stuff there.

Cloud's stomach on the other hand wasn't handling it so well, given that he was now in the front seat with his head down by his knees. It was probably for that reason Sephiroth chose to stop even if they'd planned to keep going till it was dark properly, not the light evening. Maybe if they left a bit earlier, it would all work out. Driving in the dark wasn't the best way to avoid monsters, but Cloud throwing up wasn't the best idea either. He felt bad enough as it was.

“Come on,” Zack said, looping his arm around Cloud as he stood up and wobbled towards him. “We'll do a circuit around until you can hold yourself up properly.”

“Not too far,” Angeal called.

“I won't!” Zack called back. It only took about twenty, maybe thirty minutes for him to get back to normal if he got some air so they could walk out ten, chill and ten back. They'd be back on the road in no time.

“I feel ridiculous,” Cloud said, as they wandered down to a clearing he remembered passing in the car. Good place to sit for a minute before they went back. “I'm enhanced – shouldn't it have gone away?”

“You were fine on the bike,” Zack said, patting his shoulder sympathetically. “At least it's not much further now, right?”

Cloud shook his head. “Never thought I'd come back here,” he said, quietly. "Nibelheim feels like a million years ago."

“You didn't want to see your Mom?” Zack asked.

“I did,” Cloud said. “It's just travel out here is expensive and maybe she would have liked to see Midgar.”

“You can still show her Midgar,” Zack said, hoping this wasn't the end of the time they could spend in Midgar. It was hard to think how much life had changed in a really short amount of time, he didn't want to think it would be this messed up forever.

“Just seeing she's okay would be enough,” Cloud said.

“Really?” Zack asked. “Because even if my parents can be overbearing, all this stuff with evil science parents makes me really want a hug from mine.”

“I wouldn't say no to a hug from Mom either,” Cloud agreed. 

“Will one from me do?” Zack asked, already pulling him into a tight hug before he could protest. After a long moment, he felt Cloud flinch. “Too tight?”

“No,” Cloud said, pulling away and putting his finger in his ear and moving it around. “Can you hear that?”

“The bugs?” They were kind of noisy. Perils of enhanced hearing and Cloud had been really sensitive to it.

“No, it's like a weird buzzing –“ 

Without warning, Cloud crumpled right in front of him and Zack moved to grab him, sitting them both down on the grass and rocks. 

“Cloud?” he asked, trying to get his attention but he didn't move. Zack's heart jumped into his throat and for a second, he couldn't breathe until he saw that Cloud's chest was still moving. “Cloud!” 

Shit, shit, shit, they should have gone to medical, what if it wasn't motion sickness, what if he was sick, what if he needed a doctor when none of them knew the area well enough to get him one, what if – 

Unfortunately, Zack was so busy trying to think of what you should do when someone loses consciousness (he was pretty sure it was something to do with putting them on their side) that he didn't smell the tang of magic in the air, but he did hear _something_. Maybe an animal? No, he could see the three red light formation through the trees, shit! He had to warn the others! His fingers fumbled with his PHS, his heart slamming hard enough it felt like he might choke on it as he pulled his sword from behind his other hand. 

Zack heard the sword clatter against rocky ground as darkness enveloped him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shamelessly stole the pizza preference from [here](https://birdblacksocialclub.tumblr.com/post/642817083468595200/) because everything is pizza in FF7.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come and watch for updates, commentary and panic over at my [tumblr!](https://rainbowcarousels.tumblr.com)


End file.
